davey72
The Living Force
This is the signal i am trying to send. I should add that yes i feel taken advantage of or more like no respect but my friend has done things for me. If it wasnt for him i would not have this vehicle at all. When i met the electrician i hired to hook up the power to the meter box i installed he told me of this truck he would sell me for a thousand dollars which is a good deal for this truck. I told him of my money situation and he said he would even save it for me. My friend was here recently and when we went to pay him we looked at the truck and my friend liked it so he bought it right then. I wanted to rent to own it but he really wants it for himself so he ended up saying i could use it if i insure it etc. He even lent me the hundred dollars i nweded and took me to the insurance agency. I was able to pay him all but thirty dollars of what i owed him as i owed him money from before as well. So he has helped me. When he first bought the place we made a deal that i would come out and quit my drug habit while here. I was on methadone for over ten years and using other drugs as well. The deal was that i could not use drugs here or i would have to go. Well it was very hard and the first neighbor i met who i later found out is really not a very good person just happened to have prescription drugs which he gave me in exchange for work. This is another thing i was honest about right away when he asked me and he said i had to go. I ended up in Edmonton and in the treatment program offered by the mens shelter downtown. Something changed in me at that time and i just felt dead inside. I did not use except once fairly early on but i was there for more than eight months. This is when i was asked to come back because he really needed me here. He had noone else. I did very well here for a long time but i got to a point of using very occasionally. Again my neighbor is not a good person and seemed to enjoy pushing these things on me. I did keep it at a very minimum and only when i needed to get a lot done would i use any at all as i was still havong motivation problems and i could work a good twelve hours very quickly so this was my rationalization. I guess it was the may long weekend when i started to have very bad luck in combination with many other stress factors which led me to start using again everyday. I was still on the paleo diet at least but even that fell through thia last time my friend came home. I started with a and w and quickly became addicted and used to all this bad food. I am just now getting back on track with my diet and i have been on suboxone for just about a month now. The intention is to be weaned off as quickly as possible but i chose this route because i need to work to pay for all my bills and could not go cold turkey or i would lose everything i just gained. I sold one of my kittens online which gave me the gas money needed to go to the city to obtain this prescription. Now we are doing it by email. Anyways i am back on my way up. Back on my path again. I just feel like i lost so much of what in retrospect i realized how hard i had worked for. i have been an addict since i was very young and although i had no motivation when i was clean for ao long it qas such a great feeling. I want to be there again soon.
