Poking the belly of the beast.

[Rich]

Are you under a lot of stress lately? Personally, I feel like you overreacted a bit. It reminds me of people at work who claim that it's impossible(!!!!) for them to do their job because the light is too bright/dim or the air too stuffy and feel entitled to moan all day long about it to people that can't do nothing about it.

Besides, I guess other people might see it differently, but it seems to me that it's a lot of energy that you could be investing somewhere more important (family, children, your job...etc). Maybe the eatery where you went has a very strict anti-smoking policy due to various reasons, maybe the waiter was jus overzealous, maybe as Gruchaa said they were people underneath that you couldn't see. At the end of the day, you could just go to a different place that allow smoking.

Thanks DianaRose94.
I think it really is as simple as Laura suggested and I think I'm in the opposite position of being under-stressed: I have too much time on my hands that I'm not using as productively as I could.

 

[Rich]

Hey Rich, I too agree with others. Even if the cafe staff acted unreasonably, I don't think this whole thing is a good use of your energy and time. You are unlikely to affect legislation in any meaningful way so the only benefit to you would be feeling better because you gave them a piece of your mind.

Personally, I like the approach described by Castaneda. The below quote came to my mind because your reaction to the cafe staff member's request to not smoke seemed like something that wasn't "included in your expectations". You most likely have read it before but I thought that a bit of reinforcement may be helpful:

Also, I don't know whether you had a chance to read Damasio's Strange Order of Things? There is a thread about it and since I haven't seen you post in it I thought I'd share it: The Strange Order of Things, by Antonio Damasio

The book brilliantly describes the evolution of feelings in relation to homeostasis, as well as the topic of subjectivity. A really useful read IMO. Feelings drive our behaviours but they are not necessarily objective assessors of each situation and I think the book would be a helpful resource to help you understand where your feelings of dissatisfaction came from.

Thanks Ant22. I have enjoyed the Castenada books. Not familiar with the Strange Order of Things and I think now would be a good time for me to give that one a go.

Was going to end this little venture by saying I thought I was "as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" but really I think I'm just bored. :)

 

[Gruchaa]

Thanks Laura. Yes you're right there!

Rich, what came into my mind yesterday, was that I realized something based on this discussion under your post.

It is that when I was posting my answer for your post I was thinking like: "Hmm, what if he will think that I am attacking him or something else". But you have been "constructively criticized" by others and you have just accepted it and agreed with the feedback. In my opinion this is very positive thing. And it should be normal reaction, right?

And what I thought also is that, on the other forum out there, you will find the answers which will attack you with real aggression. Additionally, I can bet, that under your post a discussion/fight would start for example the smoking guys vs non-smoking guys and all will just transfer their dependencies and aggressions.

Here is different thing, on this forum. People act like "normal" people. Like normal people should act. When someone is wrong or have a not holistic view on the subject, people are giving the feedback, and the person who was wrong, just accepting that. This is great!

Thanks for realizing it Rich!

 

[Anamarija]

Exactly Gruchaa, you just perfectly explain what I wanted to point out in thread Hi! Im new here, thanks for having me!
I'm so tired of confrontation, misunderstanding and losing energy because someone or me trying to convince others in some point of view. I feel this place (with people that make energy of this place) like Home. For years I was afraid that something will happen here and that will break my illusion how this place is amazing, but that didn't happen and I can see how this place was grown in something big.

You obviously have way too much time on your hands; lots of reading you could be doing.

Volunteer to go around and pick up trash in parks or on the roadside or something if you need to get out and do things. Make yourself useful to the universe.

Ok, and now about Rich, when Laura said something like this she makes me so laugh because she always put elephant on the ground and that is so relieving. Even only light reading that I read is your threads, your style of writing reminds me of Oscar Wilde and I'm really enjoying reading your stories. But, IMO, that's just that, stories. It's not Work. I didn't want to tell you this before because I'm still learning about external consideration and I don't know, yet, when is time to say something (in the right way) and when is moment to just shut up. But, maybe your "salvation" can come through recommended books, reading and giving others your point of view on subject. I always want to say so many thing but I don't have your skill and also barrier of language influence to choose not to express myself.

 

[loreta]

Fighting with the subject of smoking is like fighting with a meteorite. That reminds me that the same can be said about fighting against the idea that Trump is responsible for everything bad is happening on the planet, so let be people think what they think and do something useful, there is so much we can do if we look around. Things that merit our fight. As Laura said, things that can change our surrounding, little things that in fact are very important.