Potential job change

[abstract]

One possibility is that you always look for work that is not what you are best suited to do.

correct. I figured that out.

Could you try to pin it down anyway?

sure.

How is your natural talent for driving race cars?

I love speed. I don't like nascar, i'd prefer other types of racing. I love the way you have to fight against gravity on a roller coaster or other thrill rides. I've never driven a car faster than 100mph, but i can tell you that i had a lot of fun driving that fast, lol.

Does that describe your "need for speed?" Otherwise, what is this "something inside you" really saying?

Well, i've always been a difficult person to get excited, even when i was little. I will tell you a little story here.

I once went to the lake ( i forget which one) and me and my friends at the time went over to a cliff, which had a trail leading up to it so you could jump. It was a decent height. maybe a

few stories high. I was nervous at first, but i jumped off that cliff and it was and still is a very treasured experience. You gather your nerves and you say "LETS GO!" and you jump off

that cliff, almost wishing you didn't...but when you fall through the air...oh, what bliss it is. The fall feels like it lasts forever, and with no solid ground under your feet, the past and the

future become non-sensical and un-real. All there is for that (short time) is that moment. That weightlessness, the feeling of escape and freedom. You soar in the air with the birds and

the troubles of life shrink away. Your name means nothing, you forget where you are, then you hit the water, and the fall before it seems like it was a lifetime ago. But you look back up

at the cliff and realize you're still in one piece you feel as though you could conquer the universe.

Does that help or did i just make this waaaaaaaaay more confusing than it needs to be?

 

[Helle]

I wonder more and more everyday why I, regardless of all the things i do to keep myself from being angry or edgy, just seem to have this part of my personality that is constantly screaming "LET'S GO! LET'S MOVE! LET'S GET SOME SPEED GOING HERE! i WANNA GOOO!!! LET'S GO!" and i can't pin it down to anything specific

I know EXACTLY how you feel when you say this, it's an inner feeling of restlessness.

When I get this, I believe I need to listen to it. Have you tried listening to yourself while meditating?

Try throwing some questions out there in the universe, and try doing it while having NO expectations of how the answer will come, and without having any assumptions about what the answer might be, I promise you, you'll get an answer some way or the other. - And don't DEMAND answers, don't feel sorry for yourself when asking, just be sincere in the questioning, with an open heart. It might sound silly, but I believe you have the answers in you, you just need to get them out :) - And sometimes we have so many programs running, that we can't really identify the right answers.

Best of luck to you.

 

[mcb]

Does that help or did i just make this waaaaaaaaay more confusing than it needs to be?

Parts of my questions seem to be getting lost. Like "How is your natural talent for driving race cars? When you find your natural abilities, you tend to just do them(.) Remember, they are 'attractive, effortless, painless(.)' Does that describe your 'need for speed?'"

You replied "I love speed" and went on to explain, but didn't really answer my "attractive, effortless, painless" question.

I do see some "interesting" elements in your story, but I don't know if I have the experience to respond. Going with friends and jumping off a cliff "almost wishing you didn't" sounds to me just a tiny bit like falling under the influence of a psychopath, urging you to go ahead and jump. Was someone urging you into danger against your better judgment? Or was this really not a dangerous situation and you knew that all along? What else can you self-observe from your story?

 

[abstract]

Well helle, I see what you are saying about listening to myself. Last night i was meditating, not exactly doing EE but just doing the in nose out mouth breathing and i was thinking...i don't exactly remember what i was thinking about but i was talking to myself, asking questions etc. and I was overcome by this "tension" in my head and the pulsing in the middle of your head, and it would come and go as i thought of different things. I experimented a bit, and if i felt the pulse get stronger, i would think about whatever i thought was causing it.

So i suppose tonight i could try and meditate and just "listen to myself", as you suggested. Just ask myself honestly what I am trying to get out of life, or something along those lines?

Was someone urging you into danger against your better judgment?

Not at all. I wanted to. :)

Going with friends and jumping off a cliff "almost wishing you didn't"

"almost wishing you didn't" means that tiny bit of hesitation you have before doing something like that. did you not hesitate just a bit before your first roller coaster ride? (assuming you have ridden one, i dont know if you have.)

What else can you self-observe from your story?

I suppose that, reflecting on it, maybe i'm just an idealistic person in a world of materialism. You can give me a million dollars if you want, that doesn't satisfy me. I have this craving to reach out to the intangible. An urge to explore the universe or something, i guess. Working in restaraunts is just the same boring stuff everyday. I am really bored with the same old thing everyday. I guess you could say that i feel very "grounded", as it were.

 

[anart]

"almost wishing you didn't" means that tiny bit of hesitation you have before doing something like that. did you not hesitate just a bit before your first roller coaster ride? (assuming you have ridden one, i dont know if you have.)

Sounds like a good, old fashioned, adrenaline rush, abstract. In other words, brain chemicals. :)

I suppose that, reflecting on it, maybe i'm just an idealistic person in a world of materialism. You can give me a million dollars if you want, that doesn't satisfy me. I have this craving to reach out to the intangible. An urge to explore the universe or something, i guess.

Following an urge to explore can take you many places. If you point your ship in the right direction, it could take you anywhere you want.

Working in restaraunts is just the same boring stuff everyday. I am really bored with the same old thing everyday. I guess you could say that i feel very "grounded", as it were.

It's your life, if you are unhappy with it, change it. I look at employment as a means to an end - I don't live for my work, I work in order to be able to do what it is I love to do. Perhaps it might help to think of your work that way, at least for now, and get employment that doesn't keep you around poisonous food/drink and that puts some money, and time, in your pocket to make sure you are able to do what it is you are really driven to do. fwiw.

 

[abstract]

Sounds like a good, old fashioned, adrenaline rush, abstract. In other words, brain chemicals.

Maybe I over romanticized a bit.

I look at employment as a means to an end

I do as well. That's what bothers me. I've never really had a job i liked to do, of course i pretended to like it. I am just tired of pretending to CARE about blatant materialism. I"m not a salesmen, never have been, don't wanna be (although every job i've had keeps screaming at me to upsell, etc.)

I don't CARE at all about getting 2 extra dollars for the company(s) that I work for when they are just helping ruin this planet. All these people want is profit, regardless of the method. I find this sick, disgusting and depraved. I wanna do something that will either help people for real or help me develop myslef.

And once again, you can keep the friggin' money! :) The best things in life, IMO, aren't material. I mean, when you meditate, doesn't that just sorta push the outside world away from you as you focus yourself? Help you reach a place in your mind that is peaceful, quiet, and comfortable, far away from the troubles just outside the door? You can think and dream and breathe and interact with yourself.

I realize more everyday the importance of our internal lives, our "soul lives" if you will. I realize more and more that material things won't satisfy me and can't.

But thank you guys, i'm feeling a little more motivated to make a change. I guess we'll see what happens. :D

 

[anart]

I mean, when you meditate, doesn't that just sorta push the outside world away from you as you focus yourself? Help you reach a place in your mind that is peaceful, quiet, and comfortable, far away from the troubles just outside the door? You can think and dream and breathe and interact with yourself.

Interesting question. When I meditate, it actually brings things into better focus - and it's - sometimes - not peaceful or comfortable, though getting there usually is. When I meditate, it's not to dream and push the outside world away, it's to get myself to a place where I can see the outside world more clearly and stop dreaming. It's active, if even on a level I can't consciously connect to at the time. It's not shutting the world out, but opening up my mind to see it as it is. Might be a subtle difference, but fwiw.

 

[abstract]

Interesting question. When I meditate, it actually brings things into better focus - and it's - sometimes - not peaceful or comfortable, though getting there usually is. When I meditate, it's not to dream and push the outside world away, it's to get myself to a place where I can see the outside world more clearly and stop dreaming. It's active, if even on a level I can't consciously connect to at the time. It's not shutting the world out, but opening up my mind to see it as it is. Might be a subtle difference, but fwiw.

That makes a lot of sense, actually, that is very interesting. It has caused me to re-examine my viewpoint.

I usually try to look inside myself when i meditate, try to see what is there. Last night i was really trying not to THINK during my meditation, i was trying to more or less concentrate on my feelings and emotions, which is a bit difficult for me because sometimes my brain wants to go a million miles an hour and just blah blah blah, y'know?

But really, thank you for your point of view, it has piqued my interest. :)

 

[Mrs. Peel]

I usually try to look inside myself when i meditate, try to see what is there. Last night i was really trying not to THINK during my meditation, i was trying to more or less concentrate on my feelings and emotions, which is a bit difficult for me because sometimes my brain wants to go a million miles an hour and just blah blah blah, y'know?

But really, thank you for your point of view, it has piqued my interest. :)

Well, I know you've been experimenting with some dietary changes, but are you still on sugar and/or caffeine? Perhaps with more dietary changes, you can slow your brain down! You are taking 5-htp, right? How about some other of the other "brain" supplements (Dr. Psyche may be able to set you up with a regiment, did you take the Ultra Quizes?). Sounds like your "moving center" is going full speed ahead. The detox diet could make you think clearer and perhaps figure out what you really want to do. :)

 

[abstract]

but are you still on sugar and/or caffeine?

It's really a fight to stay away from sugar. I haven't had any soda or anything like that today, but i just wanted it sooooooo bad a couple days ago.

You are taking 5-htp, right?

5-htp, "B-stress", Vitamin C, minerals, and melatonin+gaba for sleep.

Sounds like your "moving center" is going full speed ahead.

I suppose that's a good thing?...i am assuming this by your lack of additional commentary.

The detox diet could make you think clearer and perhaps figure out what you really want to do.

I have slowly been integrating over the past couple months or so into the detox lifestyle. I have made a lot of changes already, and still more to come. Like i've said, learning about

diet and health and disease prevention and nutrition has been a really fun, awesome, eye opening life experience. :D

 

[henry]

Sounds like your "moving center" is going full speed ahead.

I suppose that's a good thing?...i am assuming this by your lack of additional commentary.

It depends upon the moment. If a truck is coming down the street at you, having a moving centre that is going full speed ahead would be advantageous, but most of the time, I think we need a little more balance. :)

You said earlier you wanted a plan. That is going to involve getting your intellectual centre working in order to know which way you want your moving centre to move. And thinking about what you work you find attractive, effortless, and painless is going to bring both the intellectual and emotional centres into play.

So given you said you wanted a plan, having an over-excited moving centre probably isn't the best place to start. :)

Following up on anart's post to you about the differences in meditating, it seems to me that it is possible to go into a daydreaming state during the meditation where one is allowing the imagination to run wild.

Some of your posts in this thread have an intensity about them that suggests to me that your sexual/Creative energy is being usurped by your moving centre. Gurdjieff talks about the wrong use of that energy by the moving centre leading to people climbing mountains and setting records -- useless expenditures of it.

So I think that you might get back to your plan. What is your Aim? How can changing jobs help you get to your Aim?

But it sounds like getting out of that donut shop is going to help get you out of temptations reach... at least for most of the day. A health food store might be a good change. With the knowledge you are gaining here about diet and health, you'll certainly be able to offer good advice to clients. Probably better appreciated by your bosses than if you were telling the clients at the donut shop to get off sugar!

 

[Buddy]

I usually try to look inside myself when i meditate, try to see what is there. Last night i was really trying not to THINK during my meditation, i was trying to more or less concentrate on my feelings and emotions, which is a bit difficult for me because sometimes my brain wants to go a million miles an hour and just blah blah blah, y'know?

Fwiw, when I'm 'meditating' (outside the EE program), I keep my eyes open, focus on whatever and everything I can see, listen to every possible sound I can hear, notice the temperature of the air, any breezes present, my clothes on my body, the taste in my mouth, smells, my belly moving in and out as I breath - everything I possibly can, and then I try to experience it all at one time.

This gives me a sense of deep peacefulness, timelessness and awareness of the environmental rhythm and it stops the internal chatter (with practice) if there is any going on at the time.

'Listening to yourself' could probably benefit from this kind of relaxation first, or it could be a way to diminish the 'noise' so that you can hear that tiny 'voice' of insight or inspiration after you've asked for what you need.

I recommend trying it sometime if you haven't and if you're interested.

 

[abstract]

Gurdjieff talks about the wrong use of that energy by the moving centre leading to people climbing mountains and setting records -- useless expenditures of it.

I think that explains it!

Some of your posts in this thread have an intensity about them that suggests to me that your sexual/Creative energy is being usurped by your moving centre.

I am still a bit confused on the subject of centers. I read about them but i still don't understand. How does the energy become diverted like this? What influences govern

whether or not one center is usurping another? I will read on the subject again, though. Maybe i should already know about the centers, isn't that like, part of cass-101? ;D

 

[Helle]

I mean, when you meditate, doesn't that just sorta push the outside world away from you as you focus yourself? Help you reach a place in your mind that is peaceful, quiet, and comfortable, far away from the troubles just outside the door? You can think and dream and breathe and interact with yourself.

Interesting question. When I meditate, it actually brings things into better focus - and it's - sometimes - not peaceful or comfortable, though getting there usually is. When I meditate, it's not to dream and push the outside world away, it's to get myself to a place where I can see the outside world more clearly and stop dreaming. It's active, if even on a level I can't consciously connect to at the time. It's not shutting the world out, but opening up my mind to see it as it is. Might be a subtle difference, but fwiw.

This is a really good explanation Anart! That's how I see it too. It's like I'm suddenly aware of everything all at once, like opening up my awareness or something, to the universe , and also to every single cell in my body. The cells likes the attention ;)
Ahhr, no time to respond more.. must work

 

[knowledge_of_self]

I am still a bit confused on the subject of centers. I read about them but i still don't understand. How does the energy become diverted like this? What influences govern

whether or not one center is usurping another? I will read on the subject again, though. Maybe i should already know about the centers, isn't that like, part of cass-101? ;D

Hey Abstract

If you want to fully understand the concept of centers, you should read Ouspensky's In Search of the Miraculous and Mouravieff's Gnosis series.

But you can briefly read about the definition here :)

Also, I think getting a job at a health food store is a great idea. At the very least it will help you cut out sugar temptations.