Problems initiating communication, especially asking

[Buddy]

To me, it [the emotional center] also seems to be a kind of 'container self' for all the values and beliefs related directly to one's experience of life...the experiences of feeling alive and one's relationship to those 'things' within oneself that enhance and support life as well as those things that diminish and threaten life. I'm not even sure if this description would make much sense to anyone but me.

In short, one's emotional "orientation" (or "orientations", given non-unity) and STS versus STO-leaning attitudes?

Yeah, that sounds kinda, sorta, Exactly what I meant! :D

...something from earlier years that also has left me with lethargy-inducing emotional programming that sets in when I try to do more than the minimum of what is felt I "have to" to get ahead

Sounds like some apathy I have experienced. Something that feels like "Oh, what's the freakin' use? It's just gonna kill me. It ain't gonna work out (right) anyway.
Or something like it.

Also, there is part of the emotional center - a small part - that seems to be in excellent touch with the thinking center. A larger part is often more or less inert but sometimes gets excited (causing drifting in thought), alternatively reacts negatively in an immature way and in opposition to my understanding.

This characterizes a large part of my experience as well.

A yet larger part seems to be very sound asleep

Yep. This is the part that we eventually awaken, but carefully! Step-by-step, following the path that's been laid down in front of us. That's why I think its so important to have a firm grasp of the fundamentals.

 

[Pierre]

That is the problem [edit: as for that particular one, not what the whole post was about] in a nutshell, yes - a doubt that sets in after thinking of something at first seemingly good to post. While I don't try to calculate the total outcome, I've certainly been trying hard - habitually - to calculate the impression piecewise of my text in fear of conveying something that turns out bad when read between the lines.

Hi Csayeursost,

Discernment might help you to identify the origin of those doubts concerning those messages you would like to post.

On one hand there might be very legitimate and objective reasons to hesitate : noise, redundancy, off topic, feeding, inconsistency,...

On the other hand, there are also illegitimate/subjective reasons for hesitating. The predator might fear being exposed. The predator, his self importance and his fear of being wrong might be scratched.

Also there might be some programs reinforcing this reluctance to ask, to post. If we look at it, the school system praises the ones who know, they get good marks because they had the right answers. They are labeled "good students". The ones who don't have the answers get bad marks, they are labeled "bad students".

Parental programming might go this way too. Imagine parents that belittle their child because he doesn't know something, who mock their child when he asks a question, who call him stupid when he doesn't know how to do something...

This child might certainly become an adult reluctant to ask for help, to show that he doesn't know.

Going back to discernment, it seems to me almost impossible to separate the wheat from the chaff by ourselves.

When you post the group gives you feedbacks. So you'll be able to see if your messages are helpful, noisy, relevant, feeding, constructive...and deduce the true nature of your doubts.

 

[beetlemaniac]

That is the problem [edit: as for that particular one, not what the whole post was about] in a nutshell, yes - a doubt that sets in after thinking of something at first seemingly good to post. While I don't try to calculate the total outcome, I've certainly been trying hard - habitually - to calculate the impression piecewise of my text in fear of conveying something that turns out bad when read between the lines.

Hi Csayeursost,

Discernment might help you to identify the origin of those doubts concerning those messages you would like to post.

On one hand there might be very legitimate and objective reasons to hesitate : noise, redundancy, off topic, feeding, inconsistency,...

On the other hand, there are also illegitimate/subjective reasons for hesitating. The predator might fear being exposed. The predator, his self importance and his fear of being wrong might be scratched.

Also there might be some programs reinforcing this reluctance to ask, to post. If we look at it, the school system praises the ones who know, they get good marks because they had the right answers. They are labeled "good students". The ones who don't have the answers get bad marks, they are labeled "bad students".

Parental programming might go this way too. Imagine parents that belittle their child because he doesn't know something, who mock their child when he asks a question, who call him stupid when he doesn't know how to do something...

This child might certainly become an adult reluctant to ask for help, to show that he doesn't know.

Going back to discernment, it seems to me almost impossible to separate the wheat from the chaff by ourselves.

When you post the group gives you feedbacks. So you'll be able to see if your messages are helpful, noisy, relevant, feeding, constructive...and deduce the true nature of your doubts.

I think the reluctance to ask questions and consequently revealing a lack of knowledge/understanding in any situation is a big problem for a lot of people. And it may also be true that these people have some common traits/characteristics. In my experience, attending classes in a university level Master's course, where a particularly difficult topic is being lectured on, many of the students do not ask questions (I am guilty in this as well) even though we clearly do not understand what is being taught. As Belibaste says, I think this happens because of pressures that were experienced during childhood from parents and schoolteachers.

I guess it does relate very closely to internal considering. When I have something good and intelligent to say, I will pipe up immediately, so as to give people an exaggerated impression of my capability, while when I have no idea, I just keep quiet and pretend that everything is alright. Right now, regarding the work of the centers, there is much I do not understand, and I do not even have proper discernment of the centers. There's lots to do.

 

[Keit]

I think the reluctance to ask questions and consequently revealing a lack of knowledge/understanding in any situation is a big problem for a lot of people. And it may also be true that these people have some common traits/characteristics. In my experience, attending classes in a university level Master's course, where a particularly difficult topic is being lectured on, many of the students do not ask questions (I am guilty in this as well) even though we clearly do not understand what is being taught. As Belibaste says, I think this happens because of pressures that were experienced during childhood from parents and schoolteachers.

Yep, guilty of same, through not yet in the context of formal studies! And the thing is that teachers actually like when students ask questions, even if misinformed ones. It means that they care about the subject and are showing willingness to learn. As for not understanding hard concepts, it reminded me of this from Babylon 5 actually:

After she goes to check on Garibaldi's condition, Ivanova finds Sheridan and tells him that the officers on C&C are ready for him. He enters and begins his speech, talking about the visit he made when he was twenty-one to Tibet and the Dalai Lama. After eating a very simple dinner, the Dalai Lama asked if he understood. Sheridan didn't. "Good beginning," the Dalai Lama said to him. "It will be even better when you begin to understand what you do not understand."