Problems to control my anger.

[Vladimir]

If you have more questions, you can reach me with PM...

Hello Vladimir,

Private messages are not really encouraged for obvious reasons explained in this thread :

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=11216.0

Thank you.

Thank you for the note. I understand potential danger, and this is probably last time that I will write something like that. I wish not to edit my post, thou
I appreciate your concern and feel free to edit it by your wish and what you think is the best for forum. ;D
You are welcome. :)

 

[PepperFritz]

This occupies heart region, as you know, and in Christian Psychology this is produced by Sotona himself.

What, exactly, is "Christian Psychology", and how does that differ from "non-Christian" psychology and/or the Work?

Anger in myself, as well as in others, comes when our infantile part doesn't get what he wants.

That is not always the case. Often there is quite justified deep-seated anger within us stemming from our earlier years, in response to a lack of normal love and care from our parents, childhood traumas, cruelty, pain, violations, etc. As adults we must get in touch with that anger, trace it back to its roots, in order to understand it and resolve it into something useful to the Work. That is what is required in order to transform a "negative emotion" from a purely mechanical response into a deeper understanding, which can act as "fuel for the higher centres". See Negative Emotions in the Cassiopaea Glossary.

 

[Cyrus Wallace]

I wonder if you investigated deeply what actually happened to you by the car accident since you "connected" your "problems to control your anger" and the car accident. Do you have access to this information? Can you ask your parents or doctor at that time? I am specially concerned if your "brain" is damaged or not. If it is the case, I think you should consult with a "good" professional. I don't know if you better first contact with psychologist or doctor though.

You said "I'll try to go (to see my doctor) in my winter vacations (The next week)" so maybe you can try to get the "car accident" information by then?

Do you know any "good" doctor or psychologist in your area?
I don't want to visit a "psychopathic" doctor or psychologist if I were you so.

Hi, GotoGo:

As far as I know, I had two surgical interventions on my left leg since all my bones were broken. I lost my conscience for 30 minutes, but they didn't tell me if there was a damage in my brain. I don't know if I've access to my medical record, I should check that out.

I was about to go with an neurologist in order to do me an electroencephalogram, though. I had that idea because a guy told my father that I had lack of litium in my brain (Or an imbalanceof it, I don't remember exactly). The issue is that I had some problems (as always) and it wasn't possible at all... it's quite expensive, even.

Uhmm... I were under psychiatric medication some time ago, but I threw away that crap because it were damaging me more than helping me. I had to drink these pills twice in a day:

-Risperidone.
-Carbamazepine.
-Clonazepam.

Since then, I try to avoid that kind of "help" and I don't know if there could be a good specialist in that area.

Thanks for your concern. :)

I may be way off with how I see all this, but maybe this is also related to narcissistic programs as well, all this unexpressed rage is building up inside of you because it wasn't allowed to be expressed as an infant and thus is allowed to be released outside of you at the slightest opportunity, even if the event that triggered that rage is totally minor.

I think that the rage is an expression of repressed feelings and instead of letting them happen naturally they have been twisted into a knot of snakes that cannot be controlled. Sadly it turns out to be devastating for the person who feels like this because the origin seems unknown and the blame and guilt trip is going to feed more rage in the end osit.

Along with the diet and the breathing exercise, reading the books on the recommanded list about narcissicism might help you to recall moments where you were denied/deny your true emotions about something.
Probably if you were to really listen to that rage and finding out where it really comes from it would turn into tears instead ?
Meanwhile, if you need to express that rage try not to hurt yourself unecessarily ;)
My two cents.

Hi, Tigersoap:

But, as far as I know, there're multiple causes for uncontrollable rage. That could be one alternative, though. That's my very problem: I can't find it origin.

That's my karma. It's hard to find those books here, but I could give it a try. When I'm in that state, it's hard to find out it source. I can do it AFTER it happens and that's why I feel powerless. A lot of people told me that I'm crazy that I should be in a pshychiatric institute and it doesn't help at all... because it doesn't happen so often...

I will try those excercises and I will change my dietary rutine step by step, slowly, at my rythmn. I'm very grateful for your help, Tigersoap. :)

 

[Cyrus Wallace]

Hi, RyanX:

You might want to keep an eye here for a transcribed version of the breathing exercises.

Hahaha, yes, I'm very happy to see that transcript!! I will translate it this night.Thanks fot that!

What matters is what works for YOU! Nobody can tell you how to live your life, you must discover your own path by networking and then experimenting yourself.

That's what I always say! it could sound a little selfish, but I find truth in those words. We're always concerned in "omg, what will they say?"; "oh geez, I don't want to disappoint both my family or friends"; etc... BUT! if I've to rescue something important that we learned in the Work is: Beware with the control system. They'll always try to send you "out" of the "path"... and... it's really painful to think that that "agents" are EVEN your own family.

I too went through a period in my life when I didn't eat meat. Actually several. Even as a child, I remember being repulsed at seeing the meat in a McDonald's hamburger. Maybe I was just picking up something else from the intentions behind the fast food, but it really solidified the program that I didn't want to eat meat! I spent a period of a couple years where I really tried hard to be a vegetarian and this ended in disaster. I was stressed, strung-out, weak and could barely hold a stable thought towards the end. I swore at that point that I would reinstate meat in my diet, only this time get the best quality meats I can purchase. Luckily that isn't too hard to do where I live and I've found a great network of folks who feel the same way I do about wanting as pure a product as possible. Since then I haven't looked back.

I feel familiarized with your situation. Since I started to eat vegetables alone, I started to feel tired, without energy. I forgot to give my body what it needs but I gave it something that I thought that was good for it (STS). I'm starting to give it what it ask, I'm not my body, I'm just occupying this body (If I have an individual soul) and I've to feed it with what it ask...

Tea is a good solution, but remember there is fluoride in green teas! There are plenty of herbal teas out there that can be just as tasty, although without the caffeine kick. Ginger tea is very good. I've read in some herbalist books that ginger tea is very good for the kidneys too. You'll have to experiment and find different blends that you enjoy.

I was drinking non-caffeined coffee. It's called "malta coffee", I don't know it you know it. I don't drink green teas, though. :)

As far as not feeling hungry, do you snack often throughout the day? Even if the snack is just a small sugar drink or treat, it can have a large effect on throwing off your digestive rhythm. Be vigilant and aware of what is going in your body and when. Even if you don't eat three square meals a day, try to eat at least two, one upon waking and another later in the day sometime. Even if this just consists of smaller portions, getting on a set schedule will really let your body know what to expect from a typical day.

There are days that I don't eat anything and I just drink water. I dont like sugar drinks. But there're days that I eat everything, I eat a lot. But, in order to fix my dietary rutine, I've to fix my sleep cycle first, haven't I? :(

How often do you have a bowel movement?

Uhmmm... If I'm not wrong, at least once or twice in a day.

I found out a couple years later that I am actually lactose intolerant! (...) A doctor can give you tests to determine your tolerance to lactose.

I don't know if I'm intolerant, because I can eat two full pizzas by myself (When my body is really hungry, don't see me like a monster :D), I drank a lot of milk since my childhood. I'm afraid for what Chachachick said above:

Have you considered that you may have very high levels of heavy metals in your system? Heavy metal toxicity (i.e. lead, mercury, flouride) has been linked to episodes of rage. You also mentioned that you have thyroid problems and kidney stones. Flouride can damage the thyroid gland and mercury interferes with calcium (found in kidney stones) regulation causing a buildup of calcium in the cells.

In other words, I've got an excess of calcium in my organism due of my abundant lactose diet. I'll try to regulate that since if I could have mercury (Due some dental works) in my organism, having a lot of calcium, it accumulates in huge rates, generating more kidney stones (Or that's what I understood).

Thanks for your informative and extensive response, Ryan. :)

 

[Cyrus Wallace]

Hi Cyrus Wallace

I had a thought about sleeping badly, stress and not wanting to eat. One thing that can help with all three is gentle excessive. A good 30 minute to hours walking at a reasonable pace (not slow and not running) may help with all three. This may also help with your anger levels :)

Hi, RedFox:

Yes, walking and thinking helps me a lot. I also try to listen some music, I love to draw, I'm writting a book, those things helped me a lot sometimes. But there are moments that even doing so doesn't help me at all. :(

Hahaha, curious, but staying with my beloved pet (A little cat) helps me to calm down.


Hi, JEEP:

Yes, I was told about that, but I was considering other factors that could determinate a "change of attitude". I suffered a lot in that hospital, I didn't want to eat, nurses were not that kind persons, I couldn't believe that happened to me! I was 11 years old, I wasn't aware of "the lessons". I lost my faith, I just wanted to die, I felt alone seeing everyone having fun, doing everything and I had to be in that bed. In the 2º month, I suffered a decompensation, I almost die, I woke up surrounded by medics. It was horrible. I see that a lot of programs appeared in that moment of my life. Maybe Tigersoap was right in that case.

@About Spiruline: I just asked for it and no one knew anything. I should ask in specialized herbs shops. What's it format? How may I consume it? Is there a dairy dosis of it? I readed all the related information of those links, I find it interesting but I should investigate where I can find it. Is the first time that I hear about it.

@About Cannabis: I'm afraid of smoking tabacco and you say that cannabis is better? And yes, is hard to get it and I don't feel prepared for smoking that... sorry...

@About my bloodtype: I'm "O-" so we've got almost the same blood type. I readed the information about my blood type. It seems that we're related to anger episodes when we're under the right conditions (Lack of proteins, bad sleep cycles, stress, etc). And it also included my thyroid problems and something else that I should be more aware.

@About Rawmilk: I live in a rural area now, I moved from the city 2 years ago, I can find raw milk easy. :) But, before I do that, I'll try to get more information about that.

Thanks for your help, I enjoy networking. :)

I confess that I also have anger problems

Proper sleep and nutrition, which had already been mentioned, are definitely very important. I sleep with a "siesta mask" (a cloth eye covering, smth like this: \\\http://www.americarx.com/admin/ARXPRODUCTIMAGES/FImages/Flents/227280.jpg). This gets around any lighting issues in the room that you may have. Very cheap and available in most pharmacies.

Eating regularly may even be more important for you than eating correctly, at this point. I too often forget to eat. By the time I remember to do it, I am starving, miserable, and nasty, just from the blood glucose level dropping too low, I suspect. Of course then I naturally reach out to what will fix it most quickly, which is, something sweet. This is how erratic eating habits may contribute to poor food choices. All nutrition books recommend aiming for 3 meals + 2 snacks a day. Make them small but regular.

Hi, Hildegarda:

It seems that you're going through the same than me. That's exactly what happenes to me and it happens pretty often. I guess that nutrition depends on one's organism. I don't feel like "3 meals and 2 snacks a day" could be useful for everyone. Nevertheless, I'm very grateful for that recomendation. :)

Re: breathing technique, Vulcan has posted a written transcript of Laura's audio. It should make it easier for a non-native speaker to understand the lecture and the direction. I think those breathing exercises are GREAT for anger issues, if you "self-remember" and start doing them just as you feel you are beginning to freak out.

Yes, Ryan just told me so. I will try to translate it and coordinate it with Laura's voice record in order to get an efficient result of it. I'm in debt with Vulcan.

Lastly, there is definitely this:

when I can't find something, when I feel under pressure, when things don't result as I want them to result, when I'm really stressed, when "certain" (My mother and my young brother) people talk to me, etc.

There are two parts in this.

First, a big realization for me was that a lot of the above is about control, of feeling that you should have it but instead lack it. Learning not to be too hang up on the result of what you are doing, not to feel that you are responsible for everything and everyone, and not assuming that you are here to change other people, goes a long way towards alleviating anger.

And second, sometimes we ARE too stressed, too overburdened with responsibilities, surrounded by people who bug us or even by people who are wrong for us. I realized that my temperament is not such that can withstand such pressure consistently. Perhaps I am not strong or resilient enough, even. At any rate, at least I can study myself, know what I can reasonably withstand, and only take on this much. Certainly better than taking on an armload of stuff and then, in a way, attacking other people in anger, covertly blaming them for me not being able to manage it.

This too is related to the work on getting in touch with yourself, similar to understanding your past emotional experiences, but this one is on the level of the body. Not knowing whether you are hungry or not, and then fueling up on sugar and caffeen is another aspect of the same disconnect from your body's needs. It is simple, really.

Whether your accident and the resulting injuries have anything to do with your personality, is hard to say. The good news is, the brain can be retrained and can compensate. In this respect it's not different from some who doesn't have a past injury -- getting rid of a hard-wired habit is the same kind of tedious brain-reprogramming. There is no magic bullet, I am afraid, otherwise I would have already found it ... but, one step at a time, I hope I'll get there.

1- Yes, my problem starts when I don't see me capable to hang my anger. But, I'm trying to learn how to do it, perhaps the clues for doing that are in my past but I don't know where I can start.

2- Another interesting issue here. I can't overcome stress, pressures, I can't tolerate people who tries to "change my way to see the world" since their vision is very simple: Born, live, have money, have a family, die when I don't even care to "change" their vision of the world (If they don't ask). I was always surrounded by that kind of people. I don't attack them, I just attack myself for not being able to hold my anger. Even if I don't want, people keep trying to convince me "what's better for me" without asking me in a first place.

I've to admit that I don't know when I'm connected with myself. Even if I'm interested in the Work, I don't know if I have a "high-self", if I'm a robotoid or something, that was always my problem. But, talking about my body, I just realized that I've to eat meat, for example, due my blood type. I lack some proteins, that's why I feel weak. I've got to avoid "temporary solutions" (Like coffee, sugar, etc) and get focused in solutions that improve my health in a general way.

For now, I should "back in time" to the moment of that accident. I've memory when I was a recent born baby (6 or 8 months), so I'll try to "go back" as much as I can in order to find out the source of my anger. I'll also read Tigersoap's recomendation together with dietary changes. I didn't knew that this process could be so complex...

Thank you, Hildegarda. :)

Hi Cyrus,

Have you read Deep Therapy in the Fast Lane and tried Laura's recent breathing exercise? I think they would be useful for you.

Hi, Bobo08:

No, I didn't. I will read it when I finish my Outstanding readings. :)

----------------------------

Okay, I'll continue with Vladimir's answer later, I'm really tired. Meanwhile I would like to ask him to clarify the terms that he used and PepperFritz remarked.

Thanks to everyone. :)

 

[Vladimir]

This occupies heart region, as you know, and in Christian Psychology this is produced by Sotona himself.

What, exactly, is "Christian Psychology", and how does that differ from "non-Christian" psychology and/or the Work?

Anger in myself, as well as in others, comes when our infantile part doesn't get what he wants.

That is not always the case. Often there is quite justified deep-seated anger within us stemming from our earlier years, in response to a lack of normal love and care from our parents, childhood traumas, cruelty, pain, violations, etc. As adults we must get in touch with that anger, trace it back to its roots, in order to understand it and resolve it into something useful to the Work. That is what is required in order to transform a "negative emotion" from a purely mechanical response into a deeper understanding, which can act as "fuel for the higher centres". See Negative Emotions in the Cassiopaea Glossary.

Therm "Christian Psychology" is what I use to describe "psychology" used by Mouravieff and on the 4th Way. this kind of psychology is dating from the time of Egypt before Egypt as we know it in usual history. This subjects are discussed is various places, adn it is still some kind of "mystery" what it actually is. Since I'm studying psychotherapy, not just academically but with my entire soul, I traced therm "Therapeutæ" to ancient Egypt as it was used in Philos work The Vita Conteplative where
the "therapist" was considered as disguised Christian monk. I see certain connection between Christianity, monastic life, Egypt, therapy (in every sense of this word, but this is therapy focused od spirit of the psyche). I'm currently doing a lot of research on this topic and my feeling is that it can be tracked back to Atlantis, I just need to connect some more dots. This Knowledge then, I'm tracking back to Eternal Wisdom and Eternal Love of 6th Density since there is nothing on this planet that did not come firstly from higher plane.

If you cut of "esoteric spirit" you will get what is today psychotherapy, psyho - therapy, there is no spirit in this word. This says all. My work is focused now putting back Therapy how is was originally used.

I'm aware of this therm, and in my experience with myself, my clients, countless books and theories , and my higher centers, conclusion is simple. When will of the child is stopped by force and latter not explained with Love, this negative emotional charge stays within a kid. Together with "I just wanted Love (or smth else) but I can't get it" and slowly the anger towards the "negative force producer" activates. Since it is "not aloud to be angry on parents" or what ever concept of lower intellectual center, child represses anger with automatic conscience, muscles and mental concept. This it is repressed is lower emotional center. You can see that your explanation goes well with yours.

@Cyrus Wallace - I did it while you where typing. :)
:D ;)

 

[PepperFritz]

...staying with my beloved pet (A little cat) helps me to calm down.

Animal companions are proven stress reducers....

 

[anart]

Therm "Christian Psychology" is what I use to describe "psychology" used by Mouravieff and on the 4th Way. this kind of psychology is dating from the time of Egypt before Egypt as we know it in usual history. This subjects are discussed is various places, adn it is still some kind of "mystery" what it actually is. Since I'm studying psychotherapy, not just academically but with my entire soul, I traced therm "Therapeutæ" to ancient Egypt as it was used in Philos work The Vita Conteplative where
the "therapist" was considered as disguised Christian monk. I see certain connection between Christianity, monastic life, Egypt, therapy (in every sense of this word, but this is therapy focused od spirit of the psyche). I'm currently doing a lot of research on this topic and my feeling is that it can be tracked back to Atlantis, I just need to connect some more dots. This Knowledge then, I'm tracking back to Eternal Wisdom and Eternal Love of 6th Density since there is nothing on this planet that did not come firstly from higher plane.

If you cut of "esoteric spirit" you will get what is today psychotherapy, psyho - therapy, there is no spirit in this word. This says all. My work is focused now putting back Therapy how is was originally used.

I'm aware of this therm, and in my experience with myself, my clients, countless books and theories , and my higher centers, conclusion is simple. When will of the child is stopped by force and latter not explained with Love, this negative emotional charge stays within a kid. Together with "I just wanted Love (or smth else) but I can't get it" and slowly the anger towards the "negative force producer" activates. Since it is "not aloud to be angry on parents" or what ever concept of lower intellectual center, child represses anger with automatic conscience, muscles and mental concept. This it is repressed is lower emotional center. You can see that your explanation goes well with yours.

Vladimir, I'm curious about whether you've read Secret History of the World by Laura Knight-Jadczyk yet? You appear to be wandering around in a lot of different directions that tend to muddy the waters. If you've not yet read SHoTW, it might lend some clarity to help you stay out of the brambles on the sides of the path.

 

[Cyrus Wallace]

Animal companions are proven stress reducers....

I thought it was a myth, but I realized it's not after all...

I'm aware of this therm, and in my experience with myself, my clients, countless books and theories , and my higher centers, conclusion is simple. When will of the child is stopped by force and latter not explained with Love, this negative emotional charge stays within a kid. Together with "I just wanted Love (or smth else) but I can't get it" and slowly the anger towards the "negative force producer" activates. Since it is "not aloud to be angry on parents" or what ever concept of lower intellectual center, child represses anger with automatic conscience, muscles and mental concept. This it is repressed is lower emotional center. You can see that your explanation goes well with yours.

I don't know if I needed love, my problems when I was a child were quite different, I didn't need love, I needed someone to understand what I feel, to understand my way to see the world. They were pointing me for being "different", "friends" in my school are constant bullies and they hurt me physically, emotionally and mentally and no one EVER listened to my problems, and I had to grow "alone" by myself. At the age of 17 I found a group of people who are interested in this issues, but their group was disbanded due external problems. My karma is my lack of forgiveness... I'd never gave my other cheek.

 

[gotogo]

Hello Cyrus Wallace,

I am glad to see you are checking through all the possibilities.
I sincerely hope you find beneficial solutions to your problems (through Networking).

BTW I enjoyed your art gallery also! :)

 

[Vladimir]

Animal companions are proven stress reducers....

I thought it was a myth, but I realized it's not after all...

I'm aware of this therm, and in my experience with myself, my clients, countless books and theories , and my higher centers, conclusion is simple. When will of the child is stopped by force and latter not explained with Love, this negative emotional charge stays within a kid. Together with "I just wanted Love (or smth else) but I can't get it" and slowly the anger towards the "negative force producer" activates. Since it is "not aloud to be angry on parents" or what ever concept of lower intellectual center, child represses anger with automatic conscience, muscles and mental concept. This it is repressed is lower emotional center. You can see that your explanation goes well with yours.

I don't know if I needed love, my problems when I was a child were quite different, I didn't need love, I needed someone to understand what I feel, to understand my way to see the world. They were pointing me for being "different", "friends" in my school are constant bullies and they hurt me physically, emotionally and mentally and no one EVER listened to my problems, and I had to grow "alone" by myself. At the age of 17 I found a group of people who are interested in this issues, but their group was disbanded due external problems. My karma is my lack of forgiveness... I'd never gave my other cheek.

Yes, and I must admit, I went through same thing, maybe even worse, we will never no know. And I just recently found out, that my lack of patience, lack of forgiveness and anger connected to it come of of putting some "norms" and "standards" to others, if they don't understand me or behave as I think is best for them and me, or simply because if I want smth out of them. I stopped, not without fight and acceptance toward my self, with putting mental concepts to others like "don't touch me", "you are god or bad" "you should understand me and let me go". This was and still is to some extent, connected with my inner child who want's understanding and Love by feeling understood and accepted. And the most hardest thing to see in my self was Pride - "Lucifer" . This is what stands between me and God. But, every day with constant suffering, self-therapy, prays, and Knowledge, and most important - The Life itself, I'm managing to reduce all this problems. ;)

@ Anart; Clarity comes after swimming in mud by my experience . :) Can you give me the advice about more literature connected with this "muddy waters" and if you wish, please, tell me what are "muddy" waters and what is clear water? Thnx on your suggestion, I will check out that book...Thnx alot....

 

[anart]

@ Anart; Clarity comes after swimming in mud by my experience . :) Can you give me the advice about more literature connected with this "muddy waters" and if you wish, please, tell me what are "muddy" waters and what is clear water? Thnx on your suggestion, I will check out that book...Thnx alot....

Secret History of the World brings together a LOT of information - if you read and understand that tome, you'll greatly increase your clarity and, hopefully, wash away some of that mud.

 

[D Rusak]

@About Cannabis: I'm afraid of smoking tabacco and you say that cannabis is better? And yes, is hard to get it and I don't feel prepared for smoking that... sorry...

I think RedFox meant to eat the hemp, not smoke it. The seeds are a high quality protein. I live in the US and don't recall ever seeing hemp seeds for sale in a store but it seems they are readily available over the internet. I have seen products containing hemp seeds such as granola, energy bars, and hemp milk in many stores here. I don't care for the taste of hemp milk personally, and it's expensive.

 

[Cyrus Wallace]

Hello Cyrus Wallace,

I am glad to see you are checking through all the possibilities.
I sincerely hope you find beneficial solutions to your problems (through Networking).

BTW I enjoyed your art gallery also! :)

Hi, GotoGo (You can call me just "Cyrus" )

Yes, indeed, I do want to heal myself of this anger, I can't ignore it anymore, I've got to do something for me and for those that I might hurt in those episodes. I'm decided to search every single possibility in my past, my present and try to anticipate further similar negative reactions. I've to admit that Laura's breathing exercise was very helpful, even if I just started.

Thanks for visiting my gallery, drawing is my "anti-stress" temporaly medicine.

Yes, and I must admit, I went through same thing, maybe even worse, we will never no know. And I just recently found out, that my lack of patience, lack of forgiveness and anger connected to it come of of putting some "norms" and "standards" to others, if they don't understand me or behave as I think is best for them and me, or simply because if I want smth out of them. I stopped, not without fight and acceptance toward my self, with putting mental concepts to others like "don't touch me", "you are god or bad" "you should understand me and let me go". This was and still is to some extent, connected with my inner child who want's understanding and Love by feeling understood and accepted. And the most hardest thing to see in my self was Pride - "Lucifer" . This is what stands between me and God. But, every day with constant suffering, self-therapy, prays, and Knowledge, and most important - The Life itself, I'm managing to reduce all this problems. ;)

I think it's very important to gather all the pieces of our past. You can't avoid to cry when you do that (That happens for me), but at least you can realize the origin of this anger, sadness, lonely feeling, etc. Even if you can't find it there, at least you'll be discarting possibilities that will make a clear sight of your current situation. Meditation also helps to improve that process, spend some time alone, walking, trying to keep a constant breath rythmn, alimentation, I'm trying to gather every aspect that could be beneficial for the mentioned process of self-understanding. We don't have to change other's perspective about us if they don't ask, that's a violation of their freewill. Doesn't matter if they do so, we must to concern about ourselves and help others when they ask... I would have liked to know that when I was 6 years, but lessons are lessons after all. :P

We learnt about "programs", how they're created, how we can handle them. We've got all the tools, we just need to LEARN how to use them. Step by step, as always, at your own rythmn.

Still, even if I know this, I'm in process to understand myself.

Thanks for sharing. :)

 

[Cyrus Wallace]

@About Cannabis: I'm afraid of smoking tabacco and you say that cannabis is better? And yes, is hard to get it and I don't feel prepared for smoking that... sorry...

I think RedFox meant to eat the hemp, not smoke it. The seeds are a high quality protein. I live in the US and don't recall ever seeing hemp seeds for sale in a store but it seems they are readily available over the internet. I have seen products containing hemp seeds such as granola, energy bars, and hemp milk in many stores here. I don't care for the taste of hemp milk personally, and it's expensive.

I just read the costs of the seeds and they're really expensive, not to mention it lack of disponibility. I'm concerned about where to get spiruline, I asked to my relatives about that and no one knew it. I looked in internet and I found that spiruline is used with fertilizers and fish food even. Is not cheap but isn't expensive though. I'll see if I can ask for some spiruline.