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docprism
Guest
I'm not quite sure how I found myself on this particular forum, but I was intrigued and continued to read further. Also, I did not understand the acronyms STS and STO. I tend to approach the subject of psychic phenomenon with some skeptism - which is prudent I think - because there are a lot of quacks out there who are invested in their own power agendas and other nefarious reasons. BUT...as Deckard wrote (forgive me for paraphrasing) 'how could you believe me' and his words are valid - maybe in part bc of others agendas - but also bc writing about it somehow makes it more real, which for me would also be frightening. During my teens (and I remember reading once that there is strong psychic energy surrounding adolescents) I was very interested in the psychic. Doing things normal kids do: having seances, playing with the oiuja board...etc. But, I had a strong pull towards the paranormal - ESP and the power of the mind, which led me to read more and practice with my own development of ESP. I must say too that I was both drawn to this exploration and scared (I really am a scaredy cat). Anyway, I remember vividly one afternoon when I was still in High School I fell asleep in the late afternoon, which was very, very unusual for me. During my "sleep" I began to experience this pulling down feeling - like I was being pull down further and further. I began to hear this sound that got louder and louder and the only way I can describe it is that it sounded like electricity. I was "awake" but not. I was totally aware of my surroundings and couldn't understand why I was not able to move. The more I struggled to 'wake-up' the more I was pulled down. Since then (30+ years later) these night time experiences have become less frequent. Yet, the experiences I had throughout the years became more and more intense. Sometimes I 'thought' my eyes were open and I could see my surroundings, only to find upon wakening that something (like a lamp etc.) was not present in my waking state. The paralysis I felt was terrifying and I dared not tell anyone. I had to struggle so hard to wake up. More and more these experiences felt ominous and I could 'sense' a presence that was not good. Sometimes I would pray and that didn't help, sometimes I would allow myself to be curious and go with it, and that scared me more. The only way I could get out was to bring all my energy to my head - I learned over time that if I could move my head even just a little I could get out. I also had to get out of bed and fully wake up or else I would return to that state immediately. In the last couple years I have been reading about 'night terors'. A part of me wants to say "YES!!!! that's exactly what was happening...but there is another part of me that doesn't really believe that is what was happening to me - maybe "night terrors" provided people who were having these bizarre night time happenings with a bonifide scientific explanation. But...in the middle of the night, when our defenses are down and our conscious minds are not on guard - maybe that's when some people are more open to whatever energy exists around us. Would I call it the devil? No...but I can say there is definitely something that does not feel good.