I have a question about self observation and am hoping that members of the forum can once again share some of their knowledge. I've been noticing that whenever I am able to self observe, and bear in mind I am new to this, and can only do it for minutes or seconds, I find that whatever I was thinking about prior to beginning seems to appear in my environment as a physical symbol once I start self observing. It's not an instantaneous thing, there is a short time gap between the prior thoughts, beginning to self observe, and the appearance of the symbols. I'll give a few examples with the prior thoughts in brackets to show what I mean:
{ thinking about material posted about the "police action " of the Matrix} I begin to self observe, step out of my house, and 30 seconds later a police car pulls up right across from my house and two large cops with flak jackets get out of the car. This is very unusual in my neighborhood.
( thinking about how self observing would lead to a peaceful mind} I'm on the subway and begin , a minute later a man gets on, sits across from me, and in his lap is a large paper bag that has printed on it in big letters the words, Inner Peace.
( I had a dream involving someone I know and it was so vivid I'm wondering if this person has had a similar dream) I start and as I'm walking down the street in front of me is someone putting a poster on a telephone pole advertising a play called : Your Dream was Mine.
( thinking about how the forum here is a school that is teaching me a lot. ) Once again on the subway, start, and two women sit down next to me, continuing their conversation. The first words one said was " The opening of the school was their salvation."
So what I'm wondering is, is this an outcome of the self observation? Or am I not actually doing it but merely noticing my environment and connecting it to my thoughts? Like I'm in a still state of mind so I can somehow read the environment around me better? Are the symbols possibly interfering with the self observation ? I mean it feel like I am doing it as there is no internal dialogue,and I am still, just sort of "being", although as I said, I can only maintain this state for seconds or at most a few minutes. The other thing is I snap out of self observing every time I see a symbol like this, my mind starts talking again about what I've just noticed.
I haven't got the Ouspensky book yet, and while I'm waiting for it to arrive any direction on this would be appreciated.
{ thinking about material posted about the "police action " of the Matrix} I begin to self observe, step out of my house, and 30 seconds later a police car pulls up right across from my house and two large cops with flak jackets get out of the car. This is very unusual in my neighborhood.
( thinking about how self observing would lead to a peaceful mind} I'm on the subway and begin , a minute later a man gets on, sits across from me, and in his lap is a large paper bag that has printed on it in big letters the words, Inner Peace.
( I had a dream involving someone I know and it was so vivid I'm wondering if this person has had a similar dream) I start and as I'm walking down the street in front of me is someone putting a poster on a telephone pole advertising a play called : Your Dream was Mine.
( thinking about how the forum here is a school that is teaching me a lot. ) Once again on the subway, start, and two women sit down next to me, continuing their conversation. The first words one said was " The opening of the school was their salvation."
So what I'm wondering is, is this an outcome of the self observation? Or am I not actually doing it but merely noticing my environment and connecting it to my thoughts? Like I'm in a still state of mind so I can somehow read the environment around me better? Are the symbols possibly interfering with the self observation ? I mean it feel like I am doing it as there is no internal dialogue,and I am still, just sort of "being", although as I said, I can only maintain this state for seconds or at most a few minutes. The other thing is I snap out of self observing every time I see a symbol like this, my mind starts talking again about what I've just noticed.
I haven't got the Ouspensky book yet, and while I'm waiting for it to arrive any direction on this would be appreciated.