Recording fleeting "I" thoughts

[D Rusak]

My therapist recommended to me recently to try to keep an eye on some of the fleeting thoughts that run through my mind. Today I suddenly had the realization that those thoughts (especially those of the 'negative introject') are really just those of miscellaneous "I's" floating around. It seems obvious in retrospect, I know. I was discussing a recent experience about a musical performance I did where I thought that I sounded really bad, but then when I later listened to a recording of my playing, I did not think it sounded as bad. I have decided to record my performances and practice sessions more often to get a more objective view of things. Then, it occurred to me to also possibly carry around a notepad and start to write down some of those "fleeting 'I' thoughts", if I can catch them in time. My question is whether or not this is a useful exercise, and to inquire if anyone has done anything like this. It seems a little bit similar to recapitulation, although not exactly.

 

[Approaching Infinity]

I think this can be a useful exercise. The first stage of self-observation (seeing yourself objectively, as if from an outside observer) isn't going to be very objective. As you observed, when listening to a recording or yourself playing, you found that your original assessment hadn't been accurate, and you required the distance of time to make this distinction. This dynamic would also apply to your 'thoughts', which are really just random associations for the most part. "In the moment", your random thoughts may have an emotional significance that, on reflection, is not appropriate. That is, you may find yourself emotionally attached to an idea that, upon reflection, isn't worth the attachment. Like a mini sacred cow. So writing them down and viewing them some time after can give the distance necessary to get a more objective look at what you were thinking, IMO.

 

[Tigersoap]

Hi DRusak,

I always carry a notepad with a pen in my pocket but it is more to write down ideas than to observe myself but I think that without realizing it, the more i am putting down my "fleeting" thoughts, the more it reveals more than I thought at first.
It's like a catalog of different moods, psychical states and so on.
Sometimes I am surprised at something I wrote because it does not sound like "me", so it is interesting to see the difference.

As Approaching infinity (aka the artist formerly known as Hkoehli) said, it is like a mini sacred cow, it provides a form of detachment, In my case I think it helps me to unburden myself of little blobs of thoughts ( I don't know maybe like a very tiny exorcism :D).

On another side, I was sometimes surprised at the clarity of the message of some particular thoughts I wrote down without noticing it at first, much later on i would understand it's meaning or profoundness of it, so I would not discard all your "fleeting" thoughts as mere noise directly osit.

 

[Bo]

My therapist recommended to me recently to try to keep an eye on some of the fleeting thoughts that run through my mind. Today I suddenly had the realization that those thoughts (especially those of the 'negative introject') are really just those of miscellaneous "I's" floating around. It seems obvious in retrospect, I know. I was discussing a recent experience about a musical performance I did where I thought that I sounded really bad, but then when I later listened to a recording of my playing, I did not think it sounded as bad. I have decided to record my performances and practice sessions more often to get a more objective view of things. Then, it occurred to me to also possibly carry around a notepad and start to write down some of those "fleeting 'I' thoughts", if I can catch them in time. My question is whether or not this is a useful exercise, and to inquire if anyone has done anything like this. It seems a little bit similar to recapitulation, although not exactly.

It's great, later you will discover more usefull ways of observing yourself if you continue this. You will somehow feel that you need to ''repair'' your system or ''clean'' your system.

An advice that I could give you Rusak is to try to do spinning if you have not done so, if I spin 99times a day I feel more focused, energized and my perception seems to be more clear.

maybe spinning could provide you some help for your observations.

It's also possible ofcourse that spinning will have different results for you.

In you case you did not hear about spinning, just type ''Spinning'' in the search bar, there are a lot of threads about it.

 

[D Rusak]

As Approaching infinity (aka the artist formerly known as Hkoehli) said, it is like a mini sacred cow, it provides a form of detachment, In my case I think it helps me to unburden myself of little blobs of thoughts ( I don't know maybe like a very tiny exorcism :D).

On another side, I was sometimes surprised at the clarity of the message of some particular thoughts I wrote down without noticing it at first, much later on i would understand it's meaning or profoundness of it, so I would not discard all your "fleeting" thoughts as mere noise directly osit.

Yeah- I am trying to not take this all too seriously, a la DJ/DG making fun of Castaneda with his incessant note-taking. I'll report on this in a couple of weeks if I notice anything from this exercise that is beneficial to the group.

 

[PepperFritz]

...Approaching infinity (aka the artist formerly known as Hkoehli)....

Good to know!

 

[expandingview]

I think that noting one's mental contents (a little more inclusive than thoughts) is helpful IF you find yourself more able to disciiminate between mental content that is noise, mental content that is information, mental content that is deluded, and mental content that is "foreign". The latter is a deep subject and it is not always negative.

On the other hand, it is not a helpful exercise if you find yourself having a LACK of sense humour/irony/play/openeness with your mental contents.

Of course, it varies from person to person.

 

[bedower]

Bo, your comments about spinning intrigued me.

Do you mean spinning as in wool, or spinning as in whirling your body round, a la Dervish? The latter type came into my mind. Is this what you meant?

 

[Meg]

Bo, your comments about spinning intrigued me.

Do you mean spinning as in wool, or spinning as in whirling your body round, a la Dervish? The latter type came into my mind. Is this what you meant?

Hi Bedower, Spinning is described in this thread here: http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=5262.msg34922#msg34922

Bo might have more to add to the topic

 

[go2]

My therapist recommended to me recently to try to keep an eye on some of the fleeting thoughts that run through my mind. Today I suddenly had the realization that those thoughts (especially those of the 'negative introject') are really just those of miscellaneous "I's" floating around. It seems obvious in retrospect, I know. I was discussing a recent experience about a musical performance I did where I thought that I sounded really bad, but then when I later listened to a recording of my playing, I did not think it sounded as bad. I have decided to record my performances and practice sessions more often to get a more objective view of things. Then, it occurred to me to also possibly carry around a notepad and start to write down some of those "fleeting 'I' thoughts", if I can catch them in time. My question is whether or not this is a useful exercise, and to inquire if anyone has done anything like this. It seems a little bit similar to recapitulation, although not exactly.

Know Thyself


I have carried a moleskin notebook with me at all times for more than four years. I have recorded facts of events that triggered emotional reaction in myself or others in relationship. I have recorded thoughts, dreams, feeling, ideas, conversations, photos, quotes, charts, drawings, poetry, etc. I have discovered much about myself and the world that I was unaware of in the identified state. The presence of many selves soon became evident in the patterns and contradictions of behaviour. I could not see myself in the identified state. The process of writing down, as if by a third party observing, has uncovered many lies and denial with which I maintained the illusion of sanity. One discovery was that when I dislike someone, it is likely some personality characteristic is an exact mirror of my unknown self. I recommend Martha Stout's book, The Myth of Sanity. It describes in modern psychological terms of "disassociation" what Gurdjieff and Mouravieff called “barriers”. These are simply the lies I was telling myself to maintain a sense of sanity. I have recapitulated much of my life as I examined the history of events. Have I been here before? Who is involved? Who benefits? What is the meaning of this anger, fear, anxiety, guilt, resentment, self-pity, etc.? I found the notebook my way of “knowing myself”. It develops an observing “I”. Some of the behaviours I exhibit, such as emotional argument, have been observed for some time. The tongue has a life of its own. I seemed to fall into confluence the minute my mouth opens. I am usually running an automatic tape. I have changed as a result of this slow and carefully examination of self in all its operations. The observing “I” seems to be more objective, that is its function. The reward of this exercise for me is the struggle itself. Some days I only record the date, others I have pages of sudden insight into a hidden corner, Once the knowing and the experience are combined, I arrive at an understanding. Then my behaviour changes, until some days an old “I” will notice it doesn’t recognize me anymore. I have heard many ideas on self observation. The directions are not usually specific, it seems possible we each develop are own search light. Laura’s Adventure Series seems her way of knowing herself, and you can see this exercise begins in the inner man or inner woman and extends to the world around us, with outer considering. This has been the way I have started to Know Myself, and hence the reality I reflect. I simply started keeping notes and followed the pen across the paper as I tracked my own life and times. I experienced shocks and depression at what the notes revealed. It requires persistence and courage to follow this path little taken. Yes, this is a useful exercise, but its full fruits will take longer than two weeks, and I found an open mind about what to observe and how to do it allows the process to unfold without restrictions or expectations.

 

[StrangeCaptain]

Hello all,

I think this topic could be more generally discussed as journaling and how it pertains to The Work.

One form of journaling I have found useful is to write one's reflections on daily reading (and there is plenty of reading to be doing if you find yourself liking what this forum has to offer). If one records the date of these refections, it can easily be integrated with a more standard "diary" type of daily journaling.

Another form of journaling is to write each day on one's long- and short-term goals. By short-term, I mean really short as in writing a schedule for the following day. This type of journaling can have some interesting fruits. It was told to me by the person who suggested it that this type of journaling MUST be done the night before and not on the morning of the day one is writing about.

There are many more form of journaling and recapitulating of course. These 2 are the ones I have tried most recently. I am about a month without practicing them actually! I can say that I found them to be both immensely helpful.

 

[T.C.]

I recommend Martha Stout's book, The Mask of Sanity.

Actually Dr. Stout's book on dissociation is called, "The Myth of Sanity".

"The Mask of Sanity" is by Hervey Cleckley and is about Psychopathy.

T.C.

 

[go2]

I recommend Martha Stout's book, The Mask of Sanity.

Actually Dr. Stout's book on dissociation is called, "The Myth of Sanity".

"The Mask of Sanity" is by Hervey Cleckley and is about Psychopathy.

Thanks for the correction, T.C.

 

[bedower]

Hi Vide,

Thanks for that terrific link; I've saved it. What an eye-opener! So it was more like the Dervishes. Nice for the old instincts to be right occasionally! I haven't done any spinning since the school playground, but after reading the comments on that thread I'm definitely going to start doing it again. first thing in the morning, I expect, when my brain has woken up but my body hasn't quite got up to speed!

We actually saw a Dervish dance not so long ago. The physical space he was in was quite small, and I did wonder if he would crash into the tables. Silly thought. What an experience to watch, like a kind of uplifting vitalising hypnosis, as it were (at least for me), and that was 'second-hand' spinning. I can't wait to see what happens when I do it first hand.

Thanks again. :)

 

[Bo]

Bo, your comments about spinning intrigued me.

Do you mean spinning as in wool, or spinning as in whirling your body round, a la Dervish? The latter type came into my mind. Is this what you meant?

Yes, the latter, spinning just the way you did when you were a child, from personal observations I have come to the conclusion that spinning for myself involves better perception, more energy, being able to focus better.

Here i show you a quote rom ''Bringers of the Dawn.''

It is very important for everyone who wishes to be in complete balance
with their physical being to practice, on a regular basis, some kind of
deep-breathing program. This is a program in which breath is very
important and oxygenation is practiced so that oxygen is brought into
the body.

Another activity we recommend for those of you who wish to move into a
vast acceleration of energy is spinning. Move from left to right,
spinning around and focusing your vision on your thumb, counting and
spinning. We recommend that you spin thirty-three times at least once a
day. You may build up to the thirty-three spins very slowly. If you are
able to work up to thirty-three spins, three times a day, so that you
are spinning ninety-nine times, well, we will see how long you stay on
the planet-or at least in this dimension. When you complete spinning,
however many times you spin, bring your palms together at chest level.
Press them together, keeping your eyes open, and balance yourself with
your feet a shoulder's width apart so that you feel anchored and still
feel the spinning at the same time. This tremendously accelerates the
spinning of the chakra systems inside your body, which tremendously
accelerates the rate at which you can interpret and receive data.


So, the methods to use are intention, breathing, using the pillar of
light, and spinning. We will add a postscript to these. As you are
electronic beings who are altering your frequency at a very fast rate,
we would recommend that you drink a tremendous amount of water: fresh
water, purified water, or spring water. Water acts as a conduit or
conductor. It keeps your system open and flowing.

It was also suggested by the C's.
See below,



October 28, 1994 F***, Laura and V***

Q: (L) "Bringers of the Dawn" advised spinning, is this advisable for
all of us?
A: Major yes.

Q: (L) How many times a day?
A: 3
Q: (L) How many times?
A: 33

Just a few notes, I honestly do not think there is a precise way of how one should spin, some people like to spin clock wise others like to spin the other way, try to see what fits you.

Another note:
When you decide you want to spin, don't suddenly start with 33 spins, try to build it up slowly so you can get used to it, some people can't even make it to 20, but if you try slowly first so that you get used to it, it will then follow up automatically.

Do not anticipate or assume anything when you spin, but spin with an open mind, Because if you start to assume things while you are spinning, you will become distracted and it will not work.

Slowly but steadily you will feel focused every time you spin, you will feel more energized, and you will have a better perception.

There is a lot more about spinning, using the search bar can do miracles :)