Hi all, I know I haven't posted in a while. I have been suffering with some personal mental and physical problems, so I think I have been drawn into distractions, probably voluntarily too. I did want to mention some repeating dreams I have been having though.
Things are heating up, and I suspect that things becoming more real or imminent are pointing my dreams towards certain subjects, however I am not the best dream analyst (not even one at all) and I am interested in another perspective of my own actions within these dreams.
I often dream about meteors; I am either outside or at my parents house. I am trying to warn my family and anyone nearby, pointing at them as they are clearly visible. In some of my dreams there are small flaming fragments that I am running around dodging, or diving to the ground to avoid.
A few days ago, or well I don't remember the time frame, probably not more than 2 weeks ago, I dreamed that I was at some sort of family event, but that there were a large number of unfamiliar people there too. Meteors started falling and I was desperately trying to organise groups of people, trying to get them to help each other - for some reason we were camped out near a train line, and in a sort of an abandoned city environment, and next to a fuel storage facility of some kind, I could see tall cylindrical towers which I knew were filled of petrol. The people I had organised were starting to fall asleep, and I felt a huge amount of guilt and horror as I realised we were in a terrible position, if something hit that facility there would be a huge explosion. Then an out of control train appeared to be heading towards us and I was yelling for people to wake up and move but many were too slow to either wake up and/or move, and I felt so much pain and sadness. Then I felt I was trying to direct people to safety but there seemed very few safe places in the area we were, there were cranes falling down, and tall buildings and I felt helpless.
Last night I had a similar dream, but instead of meteors, there were 'alien' invaders in space ships. No one had seen them coming, and they appeared I suppose in a type of wormhole descending from the clouds, their ships were silver and purple, dark, and they shot pale blue lasers or something similar. Again I was at my parents house, where they have a small cupboard under the stairs - I knew that the aliens were simply killing everyone, but I could 'see' survivors and people living in abandoned cities 'after'. So I tried to throw everything out of the cupboard, old shoes and bags - and yell at my mother and sister to wake up and come and hide - there wasn't enough time to go upstairs to get them, I was in frantic tears trying to yell for them to wake up. The aliens were very humanoid, and when they entered the house they were carrying long spears - I just sat there, and smiled at them, and said I was ready, and I felt the spear pierce my chest but the pain was slow although it was sharp - I felt as though I couldn't change what was going to happen, and I knew it would anyway, I had just been trying to help people, try and save them, but it didn't matter as this was going to happen anyway so I just accepted it.
In my dreams I keep struggling with a feeling of 'I told you so' when these disasters happen - a feeling of, I tried to warn you and help you, and now it's happening and you're not ready. But I hate feeling that that dream self is so smug. So when I am awake I try to rationalise that in to thinking that it's just a part of a desire of wanting to help people, but feeling impotent because I know that they will do what they want to anyway - so all I can do is prepare myself.
Another part of my waking self (and dreaming) is just acceptance. Just waiting, waiting to lay down and die and move on - but I am struggling with the not knowing what 'I' should be doing.
All I want to do, is try and help people in any small way I can, but try and isolate myself so that I can't do anything inadvertent to hurt anyone to their detriment, and I don't know if these feelings are selfish, or just lazy. I isolate myself regardless, although that process started many years ago.
Things are heating up, and I suspect that things becoming more real or imminent are pointing my dreams towards certain subjects, however I am not the best dream analyst (not even one at all) and I am interested in another perspective of my own actions within these dreams.
I often dream about meteors; I am either outside or at my parents house. I am trying to warn my family and anyone nearby, pointing at them as they are clearly visible. In some of my dreams there are small flaming fragments that I am running around dodging, or diving to the ground to avoid.
A few days ago, or well I don't remember the time frame, probably not more than 2 weeks ago, I dreamed that I was at some sort of family event, but that there were a large number of unfamiliar people there too. Meteors started falling and I was desperately trying to organise groups of people, trying to get them to help each other - for some reason we were camped out near a train line, and in a sort of an abandoned city environment, and next to a fuel storage facility of some kind, I could see tall cylindrical towers which I knew were filled of petrol. The people I had organised were starting to fall asleep, and I felt a huge amount of guilt and horror as I realised we were in a terrible position, if something hit that facility there would be a huge explosion. Then an out of control train appeared to be heading towards us and I was yelling for people to wake up and move but many were too slow to either wake up and/or move, and I felt so much pain and sadness. Then I felt I was trying to direct people to safety but there seemed very few safe places in the area we were, there were cranes falling down, and tall buildings and I felt helpless.
Last night I had a similar dream, but instead of meteors, there were 'alien' invaders in space ships. No one had seen them coming, and they appeared I suppose in a type of wormhole descending from the clouds, their ships were silver and purple, dark, and they shot pale blue lasers or something similar. Again I was at my parents house, where they have a small cupboard under the stairs - I knew that the aliens were simply killing everyone, but I could 'see' survivors and people living in abandoned cities 'after'. So I tried to throw everything out of the cupboard, old shoes and bags - and yell at my mother and sister to wake up and come and hide - there wasn't enough time to go upstairs to get them, I was in frantic tears trying to yell for them to wake up. The aliens were very humanoid, and when they entered the house they were carrying long spears - I just sat there, and smiled at them, and said I was ready, and I felt the spear pierce my chest but the pain was slow although it was sharp - I felt as though I couldn't change what was going to happen, and I knew it would anyway, I had just been trying to help people, try and save them, but it didn't matter as this was going to happen anyway so I just accepted it.
In my dreams I keep struggling with a feeling of 'I told you so' when these disasters happen - a feeling of, I tried to warn you and help you, and now it's happening and you're not ready. But I hate feeling that that dream self is so smug. So when I am awake I try to rationalise that in to thinking that it's just a part of a desire of wanting to help people, but feeling impotent because I know that they will do what they want to anyway - so all I can do is prepare myself.
Another part of my waking self (and dreaming) is just acceptance. Just waiting, waiting to lay down and die and move on - but I am struggling with the not knowing what 'I' should be doing.
All I want to do, is try and help people in any small way I can, but try and isolate myself so that I can't do anything inadvertent to hurt anyone to their detriment, and I don't know if these feelings are selfish, or just lazy. I isolate myself regardless, although that process started many years ago.
