...managed to finish 'Seven Nights' which was rather bittersweet (without touching on the excruciating formulaic) and a bit of a letdown tbh. As unfortunately by about night 5 the character of Sidonie had reminded me so strongly of my first love, that I then spent the rest of the novella picturing her as a leggy, blonde valkyrie - which sort of blew the 'dream girl / positive use of imagination' concept out the window.
Well, as if 'Seven Nights' hadn't stirred up enough old memories - I'd only gotten to chapter 2 of 'A Rakes Midnight Kiss', when the prospect of reading anymore involving the endearingly spirited female protagonist, ALREADY had me grimacing...
...Instead of a dried-up old maid, he'd encountered a glorious Amazon. Tall. Blond...the prospect of plundering Genevieve Barrett's Viking charms dazzled Richard...
Never previously having cause to curse my spectacularly vivid memory and vivid
er imagination...
But other than stirring the melancholic fluttering's of long ago youth, it was only part way into 'What a Duke Dares' that I began to really wonder a bit more on the reluctance / resistance that accompanies reading what 'intellectually' strike as rather shallow, cookie stories (As Neil has mentioned previously, perhaps Mary Balogh might be next on the list) that however unpalatable the genre / generic the characters etc. - 'should' still be a quick painless diversion amongst reading other topics of interest.
Then funnily enough on following a link that Arwenn posted in the 'Reading group' thread - think I finally found the sore point?
All the dreams of “Him” came flooding back and I wondered if He was somewhere on the planet wondering if I was somewhere on the planet. Again, for the millionth time I sternly reminded myself that all such thoughts were nonsense. There was no such thing as “The One.” It was only romantic fairy tales at best; pathological delusions at worst...
I realize that some readers of these pages may wonder exactly where I am heading with this discussion, particularly that which constitutes the previous section. I only ask that you be patient and n…
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Laura's comment resonating profoundly and by default pin-pointing (for the moment anyway) what appears to be sticking in my craw and that being the colourful 'Duke' characters polygamous histories (prior to being rewarded with finding 'The One') coming across as some kind of pre-requisite?
Something, from a technician's point of view anyway, that makes all the sense in the world to me as a 'lover', however from a 'lived' experience, is being intuited as quite galling!
As with having been loved and lusted almost to the point of suffocation before the end of my teens, the decision was pretty well made for me (through some kind of fairy-tale sense of love / honour or misguided righteousness, I'm not sure) then and there, that without a 'connection', then all the 'maiden dew' in the world didn't really count for much.
And therefore 'this' was all bullshit etc. in a lovely long nihilistic evolution...
I was sure God or Nature was going to fix it.
Which I now find very interesting as looking back, there was and IS that idea that by being 'noble', faithful, always saying no to the delicacies being proffered etc. that I would eventually be rewarded (by finding my 'dream' girl).
But I also don't think I've ever actually
believed it (certainly not it in this life-time). Some deep rooted 'life suck's then you die', conditioning that was picked up at far too early an age I guess?
So, as I already have a crush on 'Pen' (by Chapter 6), am going to try and pay more attention to this 'pathological delusion'.