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Romantic Fiction, Reality Shaping and The Work
- Thread starter Laura
- Start date
trytofly
Jedi Master
Thank you! I managed to enter the titles in French.
My old bookmark prevented me from accessing it. It's been fixed !
That's not a issue. Count on the report is based unique books.
Currently reading the story, and I am really enjoying it. Excellent recommendation. Me too, I'm laughing a lot.
I'm fascinated by how well the mutual influence between the characters is explained. From rough and too strong to softer and gentler. And from weak (even if this is just perceived that way) and naive to strong and wise.
Recently, I was the shoulder to cry on; my colleague asked me to help her because she was very sad. Apparently she had two romantic relationships, and both ended badly. The first one was lying and pretending to be what he wasn't (according to her), and the other was jealous; he would yell and curse when he was angry. After a couple of days of talking with her, exchanging messages on WhatsApp, I still didn't hear: "I'm sad and crying all day because of this or because of that." She was talking, but she didn't say anything that would help solve the problem. In the end, I recommend reading the romantic novels, but she refused that with words: "No, if I start to read something like that now, I would cry all day."
And I heard these kinds of stories a lot in my life; after all, I know the need for self-pity very well.
However, reading these novels and implementing the lessons can really turn around the relationship to a better place. I've been doing this for a couple of months, maybe more, and I can see changes vividly.
Finish reading "Her Baseborn Bridegroom " by Alice Coldbreath.
I really appreciate how Linnet's kindness changed Mason. And his strength makes her stronger. In life, that's all anyone needs: that one person who recognizes goodness in us and is willing to trust us to become better human beings.
Il Matto
Jedi Master
Things are definitely looking quite dicey out there at the moment. There's a lot to be outraged about, a lot of 'negative emotion bait'.
I haven't previously contributed to this thread, but I have been quietly reading the novels of Mary Balogh in the background for a while now. Boy, am I glad that I am! What a beautiful antidote to the madness - a much needed reminder of what is decent.
I didn't know Charlie Kirk, but I've been deeply touched by the loss of someone who stood for faith, family and self-giving love. Reading the romance novels is now not just about positively dissociating and enjoying feeling good in these challenging times, its also a small tribute to the soul-nurturing values that some would seek to blot out and a tribute to those that stand for them.
Thank God for the romance novels!
I haven't previously contributed to this thread, but I have been quietly reading the novels of Mary Balogh in the background for a while now. Boy, am I glad that I am! What a beautiful antidote to the madness - a much needed reminder of what is decent.
I didn't know Charlie Kirk, but I've been deeply touched by the loss of someone who stood for faith, family and self-giving love. Reading the romance novels is now not just about positively dissociating and enjoying feeling good in these challenging times, its also a small tribute to the soul-nurturing values that some would seek to blot out and a tribute to those that stand for them.
Thank God for the romance novels!
His Forsaken Bride by Alice Coldbreath strikes me more than any romantic novel before (or maybe the ones before were just an opener to a new perspective). It seems to me that Alice presented this opportunity to be influenced and changed by our partners in a better and more natural way.
Also, I can relate to Oswald because over the years I have become more calculated—with words, thoughts, and especially actions—in order to better adapt to my surroundings, including work, social interactions, and my relationships with others. Not in a bad way, just trying to understand and consider more of the external and internal factors. But often I ask myself, when is the right time to just say what I think instead of censoring myself to gain or achieve what I perceive as the right way? And because Oswald is the king's spy, he was forced to become cunning, manipulative, and secretive. Is that his true nature, or did he just jump into a role that fits him well because he likes it? First, I was upset with his manipulation and calculation, as he would gain from bringing the marriage with Fennela out of the dust.
But, on the other hand, the book has to start somewhere, and sometimes (pardon me if I get this wrong) that’s with two people, at least one of whom is at their lowest point.
And Fennela, oblivious of the hypocritical, deceitful, and manipulative royal environment. Naive, sincere, and kind. What chances does she have? But with Oswald's way of approaching things and solving problems, she becomes more observant and wise, perhaps.
And their influence and changes make them a different kind of person. Is this something they always had inside themselves? Is that change possible if they never met? Is there a need for balance and harmony in a relationship that some people long to achieve? Is that truly possible if you don't allow yourself to be influenced by your partner's reaction? I say 'reaction' because I think that people rarely have the opportunity to be in a relationship with someone who can talk that much. Because we don't have time to talk about everything.
Romantic novels often describe romantic relationships from times past, when partners were even less likely to engage in complex human relationships, IMO, especially men. Even though it could be a funny book to read. Some duke is talking with his wife, how her tenderness and kindness affect him in the most unusual ways.
However, instead, these books teach us how this change can occur naturally, perhaps even without our awareness.
I can't imagine how many good changes can happen in us if we allow it willingly, knowingly, and especially with knowledge (or at least information from this forum).
Another thing that was really interesting was the way Alice brings the inner monologue of her characters into the light (perhaps this was common in other books, and maybe I hadn't noticed it before in such a way).
I think that helps us understand that our partners aren't just defined by what they say and how they behave. There is so much more, and maybe we could see it if we let them show more by reacting differently in tense situations. Because if you just ask them, "Why do you behave that way?" people usually don't know the answer, but if you adjust to their needs (with time, you will understand and know more), like Fennela did when she understood that it's not the right time to ask Oswald about his job.
And this reading is really important, maybe even the most important thing in our lives because we all need someone who is willing to shape and be shaped. And since many of us have never experienced love from our parents, how else will we learn how to love and be loved?
Anyway, I never thought that romantic novels could bring me such joy and thoughts for reflection.
Also, I can relate to Oswald because over the years I have become more calculated—with words, thoughts, and especially actions—in order to better adapt to my surroundings, including work, social interactions, and my relationships with others. Not in a bad way, just trying to understand and consider more of the external and internal factors. But often I ask myself, when is the right time to just say what I think instead of censoring myself to gain or achieve what I perceive as the right way? And because Oswald is the king's spy, he was forced to become cunning, manipulative, and secretive. Is that his true nature, or did he just jump into a role that fits him well because he likes it? First, I was upset with his manipulation and calculation, as he would gain from bringing the marriage with Fennela out of the dust.
But, on the other hand, the book has to start somewhere, and sometimes (pardon me if I get this wrong) that’s with two people, at least one of whom is at their lowest point.
And Fennela, oblivious of the hypocritical, deceitful, and manipulative royal environment. Naive, sincere, and kind. What chances does she have? But with Oswald's way of approaching things and solving problems, she becomes more observant and wise, perhaps.
And their influence and changes make them a different kind of person. Is this something they always had inside themselves? Is that change possible if they never met? Is there a need for balance and harmony in a relationship that some people long to achieve? Is that truly possible if you don't allow yourself to be influenced by your partner's reaction? I say 'reaction' because I think that people rarely have the opportunity to be in a relationship with someone who can talk that much. Because we don't have time to talk about everything.
Romantic novels often describe romantic relationships from times past, when partners were even less likely to engage in complex human relationships, IMO, especially men. Even though it could be a funny book to read. Some duke is talking with his wife, how her tenderness and kindness affect him in the most unusual ways.
However, instead, these books teach us how this change can occur naturally, perhaps even without our awareness.
I can't imagine how many good changes can happen in us if we allow it willingly, knowingly, and especially with knowledge (or at least information from this forum).
Another thing that was really interesting was the way Alice brings the inner monologue of her characters into the light (perhaps this was common in other books, and maybe I hadn't noticed it before in such a way).
I think that helps us understand that our partners aren't just defined by what they say and how they behave. There is so much more, and maybe we could see it if we let them show more by reacting differently in tense situations. Because if you just ask them, "Why do you behave that way?" people usually don't know the answer, but if you adjust to their needs (with time, you will understand and know more), like Fennela did when she understood that it's not the right time to ask Oswald about his job.
And this reading is really important, maybe even the most important thing in our lives because we all need someone who is willing to shape and be shaped. And since many of us have never experienced love from our parents, how else will we learn how to love and be loved?
Anyway, I never thought that romantic novels could bring me such joy and thoughts for reflection.
Breo
The Living Force
Thanks for expressing that, Il Matto. Often I lack the ability to phrase it and ends up with "yes exactly" and that's not enough for sharing :) You expressed much of what I felt and thought too, reading Mary Balogh, being very, very grateful for the sanity and soul nurturing of this project, that helps so much to stand strong in times like these, also in relation to the very sad Charlie Kirk assassination. You said it much better :) Thanks to Laura and all who contribute too.
