Seeing or predicting my next move

[tridean]

Hi All,
I am part way through ISOTM, however I did have a bit of a head start in relation to self observation through the teachings of Mindfulness Meditation by Gil Fronsdal.

One of the exercises he suggests is to observe oneself having a shower which was an amazing experience in itself.

However, yesterday my experience went one step further and I am not sure if this has anything to do with my 'desire' to understand what 'self-remembering' actually is (because this is the part I'm up to in ISOTM and I do not know what exactly it is), but what happened in the shower for the first time was I could predict with amazing accuracy my next move, not only what part of my body I was about to wash next but the exact method of washing, i.e. hand movements etc. It was quite amazing and in fact I could see even 2 to 3 actions ahead of time. Of course this self observation would offer me the chance to change it, if you know what I mean, I think you will, I mean I could see then that I had a choice to continue on in the same habitual and now predictable fashion or do something different.

On the subject of different, I got a fishing hook in my ring finger during the Easter weekend and it got infected, but due to my wedding ring and not being able to take it off, my finger now looks like a Hungarian sausage, but it has forced me to brush my teeth with my right hand which has forced me to brush my teeth with attention, but, I can already sense the automative functions of my brain taking over, and that I have only had to brush with my right hand several times to notice it has started becoming more automatic.

Dean

 

[ScioAgapeOmnis]

I think you're doing it right, a shower is as good a place to start as any! Self-remembering is basically being conscious of your inner "activity" as you go about your life. Your thoughts, your emotions, your reactions to things, thought loops, etc. But don't get lost in your head, you have to simultaneously be paying attention to the external environment and where you are and your role in it. It is tricky at first but that's like playing the drums, you try to do the hands part and you forget about your feet. You start focusing on the feet and your hands go haywire. It just takes practice, which means persistence. Anyway, it's basically just staying aware of as many things inside and outside of you at the same time as you can, not judging, just observing. Of course this gives you a far greater control of yourself too, since you now can choose what to do instead of just doing what your programming says... kinda! You see the rub is, when you're just starting out you shouldn't really try to change your actions (unless its something really bad of course), and the reason you should not try to change it is because the part of you that is doing the observing is very much brainwashed and subjective too. So your ability to assess whether an action is good or bad, even while you're consciously observing your inner happenings, is still twisted and distorted every which way.

Its like layers of the onion, just because you're able to observe things like your emotions and thoughts does not mean that the part that is doing the observing is not affected by much deeper and more powerful programming and conditioning as well. But just the fact of observing is huge, without it nothing else would work. Now if you could just remember to do it elsewhere too, and that's the other hard part - remembering to self remember. Especially when you're in a more "challenging" situation where your emotions are engaged and other programs are kicking off, like some social setting. Or even more challenging but even more beneficial - remember to do it during "shocks". Like negative surprises, serious emotional or ego moments, stuff like that. Hey if it ain't challenging you're doing it wrong! But doing it during boring every-day activities isn't a waste at all, it gives you the necessary practice. You get into the habit of observing your, uh, habits!

This link has a great explanation about it:
http://www.cassiopedia.org/glossary/Self-Remembering

 

[tridean]

Hi SAO,
That is a really cool reply, many thanks. That has helped immensely. And yes, I am a musician and so the example of the drums worked very well, out of playing the guitar, the piano, the microphone ( ) and the drums, I found the drums the hardest and eventually gave up!

I will say, my kids are on school holidays, and normally I only have my little one at home, now I have all 6 and my wife is at work, so I do have some serious challenges with which to the work, and in one single day, like today, I was presented with many. I actually had to prevent myself from doing any analysis because I had already moved into that area after my mindfulness meditation and now I want to go back and start from just recording.

Cheers
Dean

 

[Laura]

You might also find the sott podcasts on the topic of Gurdjieff helpful because we talk specifically about the incident that Gurdjieff described as the origin of his ideas.