service to others vs service to self

[angel]

hi all, i just joined though i've been reading your forum for a while so i'm trying to understand something

in simple terms, nothing complicating...

if i buy someone a gift, for instance a t-shirt, am i doing the Service to Self Control thing? since the person by wearing this clothing item would be basically following my command even though it was a gift (good intention?)? so it was for my satisfaction and i violate their free will?

and another example... if i tell someone "have a good day". am i commanding them once again with service to self? its like i tell them to have a good day but maybe they don't feel like it?

so Service to Others is doing nothing and minding my own business? and Service to Self is being a busy body?

thank you for the input!

 

[Alada]

Welcome to the forum, angel.

Well we’re all STS here be default, so we have to keep that in mind and do the best with what we’ve got, but there’s always going to be some STSness in the mix. I think it often comes down intent, the reason why we chose to give the gift or say whatever was said, the intent behind a sentiment changes it’s meaning.

As for doing nothing vs being a ‘busy body’, this can’t be a black and white kind of thing. The ‘right’ thing to do will change according to the circumstances in every case, so I don’t think a hard and fast rule can be written for this, as with so many things: There is ‘good’, there is ‘bad’, and then there are the specific circumstances that determine which is which.

A couple of related CassWiki pages here: Service to others and service to self and All to those who ask

---

Maybe you could head over and make post to introduce yourself HERE.

---

Here's the welcome message to help you navigate. :)

Don't forget to check out Tips and advice for Newbies and the Forum Guidelines.

You might also want to read through the Diet and Health and EE-Breathing Program threads as well as the Recommended books: List and Guide. You also might be interested in the Knowledge and Being video made by Laura. It serves as an introduction to some of the concepts discussed here on the forum.

In the meantime, it's a good idea to bookmark the Cassiopaea Esoteric Glossary and the CassWiki as they are very useful references that can be used when you encounter concepts/terminology that you may not be familiar with. It should be consulted before posting questions on the forum.

Note that there are some "off limits" areas to the forum that are restricted to all but active forum participants, and we ask you to please keep the noise down. You will also not be able to edit or delete your posts until you reach a minimum of 50 posts. In that respect, it pays to use the "Preview" button prior to posting your message so that you can see how your post will look to others.

Finally, there is so much information on this forum that before beginning a new thread or asking a question on a subject, it is recommended to use either the quick search function at the top of the page or the more advanced search function on the menu function.

Please note that on each section of the forum, you will see a sticky topic at the beginning of the list of topics. This sticky topic called "Important threads - Name of the section of the forum" contains all the important threads that should be read by all members.

For members interested in delving deeper into the material, check our Comprehensive Guide for the Serious Reader.

Looking forward to your participation.

P.S.: Also, if you're not aware of it, the Signs of the Times news page is an excellent place to get your news. ;D

 

[Kisito]

Hi Angel, I'll speak for myself and hope you can understand my bad English. Being generous is to learn to be selfish, not to hurt others, but to learn to remove the importance of self or our ego. Wanting to please absolutely to a person is bad, because it only takes into account the person's belief. Like many beliefs are false, to please some resemblance to consolidate the illusion and lies. The truth hurts, politeness and decorum serve as buffers to the shock of the truth. Gurdjieff mentions "The scale of idiots in 21 degrees" to break free from egotism.
Work on humilité..pour access, it must pass through the acceptance of humiliation. The feeling of humiliation is our egocentric luggage.

 

[electrosonic]

hi all, i just joined though i've been reading your forum for a while so i'm trying to understand something

in simple terms, nothing complicating...

if i buy someone a gift, for instance a t-shirt, am i doing the Service to Self Control thing? since the person by wearing this clothing item would be basically following my command even though it was a gift (good intention?)? so it was for my satisfaction and i violate their free will?

and another example... if i tell someone "have a good day". am i commanding them once again with service to self? its like i tell them to have a good day but maybe they don't feel like it?

so Service to Others is doing nothing and minding my own business? and Service to Self is being a busy body?

thank you for the input!

Best thing to do Angel, is to begin to understand STS & STO as it exists on a Macro scale - once you have that understanding, the smaller, more intricate details should become more apparent.

Here's a quote from an article written by Michael Topper called 'The Positive/Negative Realms of Higher Densities'

In the higher densities, the Name of the Game is Consciousness.



This simply means that the higher densities of existence, whether positive or negative in orientation, all recognize that the business of all being and existence everywhere is always that of Consciousness... becoming more and more "Aware."



Awareness is related to "density" of consciousness, so to say. The STS way of achieving "density of consciousness" is to "gain weight" by assimilation of other consciousness units. This is generally promoted as "All is One" and refers to "evil" as a "rebellion" or a fault or something that will ultimately be "done away with."

STO, on the other hand sees "gaining weight" in a different way. It sees that an acknowledgement of the consciousness of "other self" as equal to its own consciousness, in spite of completely different manifestation of that being, is the way to "network" the consciousness so that the Whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

The difference is that the STO guys recognize consciousness as being an "integrative" activity of mutual networking and interdependence because they view all others as self, even if they are different, and therefore seek to help and assist because the other IS self in an absolute internal sense. In this way, Absolute Consciousness, or God is "glorified" by a marvelous diversity of being if you wish to put it in those terms.

The negative guys, on the other hand, play the game in terms of domination, subjugation and absorption of other consciousnesses into "One." . But, they too, understand that the rules of the game posit that in order for them to truly "absorb" into their being these other "consciousnesses," that the "other" must choose to become part of their "self-aggrandizement." An unwilling "food" is, in essence, not "nutritious" so to say. If the consciousness does not choose, it becomes a "poison" to the consciousness that seeks to "eat it." And so they must promote "Oneness" in a very particular way.

Note that both sides acknowledge "Oneness," but in very different ways.

As it is above, so it is below - what is found on a macro scale is also in a micro one.
Hope that helps a little.

The full article is here: http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/ciencia/topper/topper12.htm

 

[riclapaz]

Hello Ángel, if you have the opportunity I would recommend seeing this video in which Laura talks about STO vs STS, has helped me to better understand these concepts.

Q&A with Laura Knight-Jadczyk -- STO vs STS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TWAjBU9mz0

 

[kalibex]

...if i buy someone a gift, for instance a t-shirt, am i doing the Service to Self Control thing? since the person by wearing this clothing item would be basically following my command even though it was a gift (good intention?)? so it was for my satisfaction and i violate their free will?

My understanding is that a gift isn't an attempt to abridge someone's free will automatically. Kind of depends on the context. If someone asked you for a specific t-shirt or you knew that they liked t-shirts in general, then great. On the other hand...if you knew they didn't like t-shirts but you gave them one anyway because you didn't care what they really wanted or needed - self-serving. Or if you got someone a tee and then guilt-tripped him if he didn't wear it...that certainly wouldn't be a freely-given gift, without strings attached.

Depends a bit on your motivation, deep down inside, I think.

 

[Nienna]

Depends a bit on your motivation, deep down inside, I think.

True. This, also, takes into account what your real motivations are such as; are you giving something to someone because that person would like it, or are you doing it because it makes you look good, makes you feel good about yourself - in other words, are you doing it for you. It takes quite a bit of really looking at yourself and your motivations to see this.