Session 23 November 2024

I’ve been thinking about what the Cs said in this session regarding trauma and early imprinting and in which ways people can find some hope to reach that primal level and being able to be free from that type of programming. There’s a lot already on the forum about different ways in which people can work on those issues, but, as some have mentioned here, it seems that in some cases it really is a hard task.

First, I want to say that I don’t think this is a reason to feel doomed. Not being able to fully release those things seems to be part of a common human experience and not something that completely impedes learning and advancing at a soul level. As per manifesting, Pierre is an example of how much someone can accomplish and give to the world, even with that type of programming. So, I guess what I’m trying to convey is that we can continue to do good deeds, serve others and accomplish things even when those things happen, and in some cases, it may even be part of the lesson plan.

However, I’ve been very interested lately in finding tools that can help us be freer of that sort of primal level conditioning so I’ve been revising some of the things that have been mentioned previously in connection to other things that I’ve been studying recently.

I must warn that this is a long post and I don’t think it is something new, but perhaps it is helpful to try to connect some dots on this topic.



It has been mentioned on the forum already and even asked to the Cs, but what comes to mind is attachment theory. The basic idea behind the theory that isn’t usually mentioned is that attachment is considered to be a basic biological need for human beings. So, it is not just something extra that is nice, but truly something that is wired in our human biology, and, in early infancy, this is experienced as truly existential because it is existential to our incarnated experience. I say incarnated because as souls or spirits perhaps attachment isn’t existential (I don’t know), but in our 3D reality, where we are bodies which are partly mammalian, we are bound by that biological need to attach to another human being.

This is also mentioned in a similar way in the book Healing Developmental Trauma.





It’s interesting what the Cs said once about that book (and others):




Now regarding this from the latest session:



There’s this from Healing Developmental Trauma:



Seems to be a very good example of how this primal conditioning happens.

And then, again from the latest session:



What calls my attention is that they mentioned that we are souls first AND that it is the genetic body that can be overwhelmed by abuse and that it is at that level that the programming occurs.

As is mentioned in the session where Healing Developmental Trauma is discussed, they propose a method that has these top-down and bottom-up approaches. Top-down approaches are very useful, but nowadays I tend to think that for many people it might not be enough, because there is that primal conditioning that happens at the genetic body level that is very hard to access, and for that, it seems that bottom-up approaches seem to be more effective. Neurofeedback is very effective, yes. I experienced that myself and it was incredibly beneficial, but perhaps some other bottom-up approaches need to be added in some cases, or other combinations of both approaches.

In one training I had on a somatic approach to trauma treatment, we studied a model proposed by Peter Levine which I found very interesting. Here’s a short article that talks a bit about his view:



We have discussed these things in the forum as well, that is, how, for example, the autonomic nervous system responses can and do affect our thinking, behavior and even world view. Stranger to ourselves is a book that comes to mind as a particular good book on that subject, but mainly, all the research on polyvagal theory and how a nervous system that is stuck in a threat response can influence the way in which we think, emote and view the world.

Here’s a picture I like about it, perhaps it’s a bit simplistic but it conveys the idea:

View attachment 104317


So, we know all this, but again, how can we reach those levels of conditioning? That is still the question and usual with human complexity, I don’t think the answer is very simple, but perhaps it is not so convoluted either.

I still think that the focus proposed by Healing Developmental Trauma is very good as it manages to combine some CBT or top-down ideas with the more somatic or bottom-up approaches, but one question I’ve been asking myself is how exactly can one extrapolate their proposal so that it isn’t achieved only by using their specific therapeutic model?

One thing is to understand the different survival styles they describe and to understand how these become limiting (and even harmful) patterns of behavior, thinking and experiencing life. But I suppose that understanding that at the primal level involves more ‘body/sensations awareness’ and some more exploration of the subconscious in a way that is helpful and not just feeding narratives.


Awareness is the key

I’ve been researching a few somatic approaches and what seems to be key in which work best is awareness. Now, the way in which they explain this in neurobiological terms is that dissociation actually causes the brain to work in a dissociated way, the information is not associated and therefore we are unable to process that information in ‘whole’ way. They use different models of the brain to explain this: The triune brain (Reptile (ANS), Mammalian (ANS and Limbic system) and Cognitive/thinking (Neocortex), or more in terms of Polyvagal theory, or even as a right hemisphere and left hemisphere thing. I think all the models have something interesting to say, but perhaps none of them has the whole banana. The important thing is that there’s this experience of dissociation/fragmentation that seems to block a proper information processing and transform the experiences in learning. What they seem to be finding is that healing happens with the opposite of dissociation, that is the association of all these ‘brains’, ‘sides’ or parts. So, usually, these experiences are stored in the body as primal responses and reactions that are disconnected from our thinking brain. Just as an example, you could say they are stored in the right hemisphere which is more sensation and body oriented and the left-brain doesn’t have a clue about it but receives the input sent to it without being able to understand it and so comes up with narratives to explain it. So, the idea is to get that left-brain to ‘see’ and understand that information stored in the right-brain, for example. Now, I don’t think that the neurobiology of it is fully understood yet, so these are just some ideas presented by some researchers.

The reason I’m leaning towards seeing awareness as key is that bottom-up approaches that are more passive (meaning that they don’t require much awareness or conscious ‘work’ during sessions) like neurofeedback, trembling to release trauma, breathing that releases trauma, etc. are all super helpful in releasing some of that burden, but still may not reach deep levels of healing for a lot of people. Just to be clear, I’m not discarding those, I truly believe they are super helpful and perhaps enough for most people, when combined with other more top-down approaches. I just think that perhaps those tools become even more helpful when combined with consciousness and awareness during the process so that the experience can become associated in all 3 levels (reptilian brain, mammalian brain, neocortex) or 2 sides (right/left hemisphere).

There’s also this idea that the neocortex is kind of sleepy or shut-down because of trauma. As I understand it, it’s not so much that it is shut-down completely but it is shut-down from that particular information which is stored implicitly, as something that is not accessible explicitly. The idea then is to associate that information stored so that the neocortex can access it and process it. Hence, awareness. Of course, we can go beyond the neocortex and think of the soul/spirit (and the metaphorical rider on the elephant) as what brings awareness even over the neocortex, which I’m going to cover briefly later, but, it is also true that our souls kind of merge with our bodies so using the 3 brains as analogy, perhaps reminiscing the “centers” described by Gurdjieff, can be useful, I think.

Here are some excerpts from the book HDT again, just as a summary of their approach:









That reminds me of the idea presented a long time ago in the forum about the Doctrine of the Present, discussed here, here and elsewhere. As well as the practice of “keeping it below the neck”.

But also, thinking about that same practice, the idea of the elephant and the rider, as well as the idea of the ‘little Is’ described by Gurdjieff, somatic awareness and mindfulness, I think of the IFS model some people already mentioned in this thread as something that can be useful as a way to explore the subconscious with a framework that promotes the strengthening of the metaphorical rider in a language that seems easier to understand.

I don’t agree completely with how the IFS model is applied and I think there some wokeism issues in that field as there are in almost all of psychology nowadays, but I think it provides a useful way to think about this type of work.

Basically, the model proposes the multiplicity of mind too, saying that we have parts and the self. The self is vague in terms of what it is, some people call it ‘adult self’ others call it ‘core self’, others even call it soul. But the idea is that there is this core, wise aspect to ourselves that isn’t affected by trauma but is somewhat diminished or weakened by it, allowing the parts that are traumatized to run the show, which manifest as the ‘symptoms’ or behaviors, thoughts, emotions that are problematic.

View attachment 104318

They have those distinctions amongst parts but perhaps the details aren’t so important but more the idea that there are parts and then there is an ‘adult/wise self’. The whole idea of therapy being to increase self-leadership by unblending the self from the parts, that is, to strengthen that adult-self so that it can be in charge of the system. Also, an important view of the model is that these parts are survival strategies that helped us survive in the past, so they’re basically trying to protect us, but they do it in a way that isn’t helpful anymore. The model is called Internal Family Systems because the idea is to literally see all these parts and the self as a family inside, so the approach to them is as you would approach a family, sort of.

Now, a lot of people who read about this and I think even therapists who use this model, focus too much on the inner child and healing the inner child and stuff like that. I think that, yes, addressing those wounded parts is important, but again, awareness is key, so the first and most important part of it is to strengthen the adult-self. The whole idea is that it is the presence of self that heals and the therapy isn’t so effective without a strong self. That is why that first part is so important and the main aspect of it is the ‘unblending’ which is basically to become aware of the parts and how they hijack the system so that there’s some separation.

Of course, this is very similar to the idea of the little Is and bringing a butler to the household. Also similar to the idea of a rider and an elephant and strengthening the rider.

One way of describing it that I also find interesting is that parts are like neural networks which are running a program, much connected to the idea of "neurons that fire together wire together". If you think of it in that way and you think of how AI that are also described as neural networks work, it’s like these parts are kind of like clusters of wiring that had a job to do at some point that was very important. As with AI that only works according to what it is programmed to do, these ‘clusters of wiring’ try to solve every problem in the same way they were programmed to work, but what they do just isn’t helpful in the context they are now. So, by bringing awareness to them over time, there’s a rewiring that happens and those clusters begin to dissolve.

What’s also interesting is that you can add somatic awareness to this and approach sensations/states as parts to be aware of and cover that aspect too.

I also see a possible connection between the idea of ‘you are souls first’ and the self, and the genetic body as a place where there parts reside. I can’t say I’m sure of that but it’s an interesting thought.

There’s more to the therapeutic process as the idea is that once there is a strong enough ‘self’, one can approach the parts and ‘unburden’ them, but that usually comes AFTER strengthening the self.

I think a problem that can come up with this approach as with many others is that it is very hard to do it alone without blending with parts and becoming lost in the narrative. I would say that apart from awareness, networking is key, as that adds another layer of awareness that is almost impossible to obtain without having a network or at least another benevolent human being who can be an anchor to reality.

It is very important to maintain the separation between parts and self (unblend) and to kind of drop the content or narrative. It isn’t so much about what the parts are saying but about understanding the basic fear they hold and allowing it to unburden. The idea isn’t about adopting their views but about observing them without judgment so that they can unburden and therefore stop taking over. By establishing this sort of relationship with our parts, those parts actually become less demanding and open up the space for the adult self to become more aware, stronger and more in charge. It’s also important to keep in mind that we’re talking here about the idea of a benevolent adult self, which doesn’t mean succumbing to the parts whims. A benevolent adult doesn’t succumb to a child’s whims but knows how to impart discipline in the household in a loving and caring manner.

Another analogy that might be useful is to think of how you tame/train a dog (or an elephant). You understand it is a dog and it behaves like a dog and you don’t expect it to think like an adult human being. By understanding how dogs behave, their instincts and their fears, etc., you are more capable of taming/training them in a loving manner. That means that sometimes you need to be assertive, strict, etc. And some other times it helps to be more flexible, etc. Things like that.

A book that explores this idea is “Inviting a Monkey to Tea”. It doesn’t talk about parts specifically but it offers some ideas on how our mind is basically like a monkey and how to view it like that can be helpful.

*****

Well, that’s basically what I wanted to share. Again, I know this stuff isn’t new, but perhaps it can be helpful to connect some of the previous ideas shared before and remember some of the tools we have. I guess part of what I’m saying is that Laura and this network have already created something which is incredibly beneficial for us to work on ourselves. We have the tools and we’re always looking for more, which is great. But some things are just too hard to reach and require more work, that’s all.

There are other tools which I still have to learn which have been mentioned in the forum as well and seem to be promising in terms of trauma treatment and reaching more subconscious levels, for example EMDR. It would be interesting to explore those too to see if adding that to the mix can become a more thorough approach.

For me, all these tools are very useful, but it also depends a lot on whether we approach them with awareness or not, the rider needs to be awake. That’s my main thought now, anyway.

Sorry for the super long post just to say what has already been said elsewhere :-[. I hope it helps someone.

Great post, Yas - and no need to apologize for the length! It's a super convoluted topic, this healing thing, and I think you did a great job of making a concise overview of a lot of territory. This was helpful for me to read because at work recently, I've had some major internal upheavals and dysregulation.

I started a new job where I'm in an industrial environment, which means I'm covered in PPE... a full flame-retardant body suit, earplugs and muffs, gloves, protective boots, goggles, and an enclosed face shield helmet that's connected to outside air through a hose. The job is super physical, and I'm always dealing with dangerous materials. Plus I'm often hammering on things and it's very physical and my body spends a lot of time tensed or flexed. It's sort of like being in an industrial version of Santa's workshop, but there's also a sort of Vispassana element as I'm basically cut off from the outside world with most of my senses dulled or shielded for protection. Add to that the physicality of it, and it's a super challenging combo. Meanwhile, there's nothing to do but focus on the same repetitive task at hand for hours on end, so my dopaminergic urges, not to mention my specialness programs, and my intellectualizing tendencies, all aren't very happy with me. It's just me and 'the mind', and so I suppose it's no wonder my internal state and nervous system has gone a little bat-shit crazy sometimes.

Honestly it's pretty draining to be tested in all these ways at once and sometimes I get stuck in thought loops and stuff, which doesn't feel good. I've tried different approaches to deal with it - the 'being in witness' to the storms of emotions and sometimes hilariously awful narratives that roll through. 'Hey, let's spend today hating all your friends'. 'Hey, let's consider some self-destructive behaviours you could do'. 'Hey, let's talk about how you've given up on love'. Etc.

I've done the dialogue with parts via IFS sometimes asking, sometimes telling them to stop draining my energy. I've set intentions to the 'be in the body' and focus on my breathing as the sort of somatic or Tai Chi approach. During breaks I do grounding exercises and visualizations, as well as the Rosenberg vagal resets. Singing while at work, mental blocking through POTS, journaling after work, regular stretching, taking all the supplements, adaptogens, EE, etc. I can't say anything has really worked like a charm, although now that I'm writing this, the dysregulation has actually subsided in comparison to when I first started and the shock has worn off a bit.

Anyways, your focus on awareness is a good thing to remember - to keep reminding myself that I consciously chose this, knowing something of what a challenge it would be. And also reminding myself that it's good for me to do what 'it' doesn't want, because it gives me an opportunity to practice being the conscious adult when the inner system goes haywire. But what I'm getting from your post is that it'd be worthwhile to see if a more serious strategy of mental blocking would be worthwhile, to be more firm as the Inner Adult in the way that Samenow mentions. So yeah, thanks again for the post, it really helped put things in perspective for me. It's posts like these that keep me (relatively) sane during the work day. Ideally the dysregulation will continue to decline and I'll find some flow!
 
@odin343 I see you disliked my post. Would you like to share what it was that you didn’t like about it?
I'm guessing it was not anything you said in the post above, and rather it is about this post in another thread.
Since you snapped at Deliverance even though they only asked you a simple question, we can only assume that you wrote that previous post in the desperate hope that someone would take offence or take what you said seriously.

Don't you have a life you can live instead of trolling on an internet forum? Think how pathetic you look in our eyes right now.
 
Q: (L) Okay. So he's there with you a lot. Okay. The other thing is, now I thought a lot about this because we've had two people that have been close to us that died from brain tumors. Only two, I think... Henry and Pierre. And both of them had really serious mother issues. And that's something that struck me when I was thinking about it. They both had very serious mother issues. And I wondered why the mother issues... I mean, is there a relationship between mother issues and their brain tumors?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) Is that always the case?

A: No.

Q: (L) But in these two cases, that was the case. That's what I noticed. I'm sure that other people who have brain tumors, if you examine their lives, you'd notice something else or different things. So, what is the deal there? Is there some similarity between the two of them?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) And what was it?

A: They both turned their anger at their mothers on themselves since it was too frightening to be angry at the mother.

Q: (L) But I thought Pierre at least had dealt with that and had identified things?

A: Not at the primal level.

Q: (L) So they were like little children inside that were really, really angry at the mother and afraid to express that anger in a fully embodied way for fear of being, what? Cast out of the mother's love? Is that it?

A: Close. Fear of annihilation.

Q: (L) So the infant fears that if the parents don't respond positively to you that you will die. Is what was driving both of them?

A: Close.

Q: (L) And so they turned this anger on themselves and basically ate themselves up inside, in a sense?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) All right. Anybody got any follow up?

(Joe) What's the lesson for someone with that issue? What's the primary lesson they learned from having that kind of experience in life?

A: You are souls first. The genetic body can be overwhelmed by early emotional, mental, and/or physical abuse. It is very difficult to reach those levels of the subconscious mind
.

This one was a bit of a shock for me. He seemed like had those issues under control to all of you who knew him and interacted with him daily, and his environment was probably the most conductive to healing and growth that there is to be found. Yet these issues still persisted.

I just can’t help but wonder how much hope to resolve these issues there is for any of us really. Not just the specific type that Pierre and Henry had, I can imagine there are tons of other programs that are as deeply rooted as theirs were. And how can we possibly know when that work is effective, or what kinds of approaches help reach those deep levels if even Pierre didn’t manage to get there? It just makes me feel really sad - and hopeless too. Like the mountain is just way too high to climb.

I also wonder if there’s any connection between the early decision to leave Pierre mentioned in the past session, and those unresolved issues, or the cancer he struggled with.

I think the answer might be what the C‘s said: “You are souls first.“

It might be that in some if not many of such cases what counts isn’t really if they can conquer such BIG programming in a lifetime, but if they gave their best nonetheless. And/or if they at least seriously tried to conquer that (for most, if not all people) almost insurmountable mountain.

It’s understandable these ideas having this disheartening effect and I think it’s good that you shared them because they are textbook thought loops that everyone can relate to having at some point, and it goes to show how “the predator gave us their mind”. I think that often the emphasis in that phrase is placed on the word “their”, but we must give equal emphasis to the word “us”: that is, ALL of us. Our very interface with our reality, our 3D STS vessels, were engineered and programmed by the same entities, with the same templates.

Fatalism, despondency, black and white thinking - I don’t think these kinds of responses are natural to our souls. And as has already been highlighted, that literally ties in with what the C’s said:

A: You are souls first. The genetic body can be overwhelmed by early emotional, mental, and/or physical abuse. It is very difficult to reach those levels of the subconscious mind.

So when these kinds of thoughts come to us, they should set off an alarm inside us. It’s these thoughts that make us lunch in multiple ways.

We’re never going to be perfect. The main question that that section of the session raised for me is how are we supposed to know if we’ve resolved something, or if we think we have but actually haven’t? Maybe there’s a way of knowing, but maybe there just isn’t. Our skin will scar if it’s cut, and although some scars can fade over the years, they never go away completely. So what’s to say that our subconscious or emotional being or psyches are any different?

In fact, we may even benefit now, all of us, from reading that part of the session and coming to this kind of understanding. Knowledge, of course, protects. Let’s not get complacent about progress we think we’ve made and by the same token not get unrealistic about our aims, and bear in mind that we could do everything possible in excellent conditions and never get to the bottom of the iceberg.

And then we can just decide to continue to move forwards anyway.

Thank you Cosmos and T.C. for your replies. It does help a lot. And as soon as I read your responses another quote by the C's popped up in my head:

Laura said:
A: For all forum members: Do not lose heart. Just remember that if you do all you can, yourselves in the future will bridge the gap. You are all potential transducers of information into chaos. Let that information be love/truth. Goodbye.

What a beautiful way of saying things!
Thank you for that.
I could make a huge list, but for practical reasons I have cited just a few examples, which summarize very well what I think is a very accurate perspective.
Of course, and I think that very probably, there are other very valid views on the same subject.
In my case, I fully agree with what you have said above.

I just wanted to comment that this whole subject, I find it very much related to:
“The sting in the flesh”.
There is a beautiful debate on that subject in a thread that is in “The Work”.
From that thread is the following quote:


seeker2seer said:
I will try to state my question as clearly as I can, but it may need refinement for clarity. In the context of our current understanding of the Work, could the term “thorn in the flesh” possibly refer to the false personality, an attachment, a program, or a combination of all three or something else?

A follow-on question is do most of us working on ourselves for soul growth and development eventually encounter own our “thorn in the flesh” that refuses to go away or is not allowed to be removed for a higher purpose or lessons making our Personality (I) weak so that our Soul/essence/Real I is somehow shown to be strong? I sense this is also related to what Paul refer to throughout his teachings about the struggle between the flesh and spirit.

I hope my questions will be a starting point for discussion and sharing as well as a good example of networking to come to a greater understanding and growth for myself and others. I don’t want to be a slacker as the C’s said in the recent session. ;-)


When I think of the fact that certain energies could not crush Pierre's Soul, that he did not allow circumstances to intimidate him, that he fought the battle, that he did not deviate and thus the main battle he WON, that he is now simply resting for a while so that he can continue his service, that he loved and continues to love, I feel a joy that I cannot explain.

I almost forgot that I wanted to thank Yas for his great post.
I quoted just a small excerpt because it just fit what I wanted to comment on, but the whole entire post is a great job as iamthatis already pointed out.

Yas, you have put together for all of us a lot of tools, which are very useful but were quite loose and cluttered. Thanks for sorting and organizing all that in a great way.
No doubt that one can heal at deeper levels if we know the pathways, and the good combination of these studies in process, move in that direction in a practical way.

Thank you all for keeping the beacon on.
Let's keep calm.
Let us not fail to monitor our thoughts on a daily basis.
Let's avoid heated discussions whenever possible, using all the resources we have learned, such as the strategic enclosure, etc.
Let us continue to work in peace and attentiveness, because “Help is on the way” does not only refer to some event in the future, but also to the help that is present on the way and that we receive while we are on the way.

May Peace be with us all.
A hug. 🎄

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
 
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