j0da
Jedi Council Member
Hello fellow travellers,
I write this post with a little bit of hesitation, because the material which I'd like to propose to your attention is directly connected with philsophy and technology which through the years went under such a vicious covert and overt attack, that it's misaplication, distortion, misunderstanding went to great lenghts in relatively short time, comparing with the degradation of application of eastern philosophies. There still may be places where on could find knowledgable, honest and able practictioners in that particular field, but because of it's wide scope and huge area of spiritual reality covered by this philosophy it's extremely difficult to reach one contructive conclusion whether or not engage in it, or where to look for help or practice. I've spent three years of my life researching that area and still I have many unanswered questions.
Nevertheless, there are pieces of workable knowledge in that philosophy that I found extremely useful already, which could aid us in difficult task of discerning between sheep and wolves.
The problem is, souled beings may often be in such a poor spiritual/psychological shape, that they can be mistaken with psychopatic villains. Those persons share some traits with beings we try to keep away from.
I write this after reading Magus' post entitled "Keys To Spotting Self-Involvement". I've spotted there some references to particular behaviour which was part of my own actions/beingness. While I uderstand the best intentions of Magus, his statements were oversilmplified to the point, that I've finally decided to post the material.
I've intentionally omitted calling the philosophy by it's name, because I think we don't need any more ill-willed attention, that we already have. More than that, I'll post only the google query for number of reasons which I'm ready to explain, but maybe it won't be necessary.
Here is short excerpt from a book:
---
Chapter 9
COVERT HOSTILITY (1.1)
Covert: 1)Covered or covered over; sheltered. 2)concealed; hidden; secret.
Hostile: 1) Of or pertaining to an enemy. 2)feeling or showing enmity; antagonistic.
American Heritage Dictionary
The main difficulty with a 1.1 is that he doesn't wear a neon sign telling you he's a 1.1.
It's a cover-up tone the most difficult one on the scale to recognize. After you do spot
one, don't expect the next 1.1 you meet to bear much resemblance.
HIS MANY DISGUISES
He may be that hearty buffoon, "the life of the party."She's the inconspicuous little old
maid down the street who never forgets your birthday. He could be the jovial, back-slapping salesman. The smooth con man. The witty, entertaining gossip columnist. The swaggering
office Don Juan who might be the smiling lady next door who knows all the delicious little
stories about the neighbors. He's the lover who is gay and tenderly passionate one minute and disdainfully sarcastic the next. He's the clever impostor who passed himself off as a surgeon
for fifteen years. He's the gentle-mannered homosexual. Or that pleasant young man who
"never said an unkind word to anyone"but was just convicted of seven hideous sex crimes. Or
that newspaper reporter who appeared so friendly until his story (full of slimy innuendoes)was
in print. And here's where we find that nice bank president who embezzled $100,000 and skipped off to Brazil with the belly dancer. He could be the sensitive poet, the suave millionaire
or the charming vagrant who lives by his wits and hasn't done a day's work in twenty years. Wherever he turns up, he'll be in disguise. If you're generous in character, you may be tempted to treat him leniently. Don't.
(...)
AS A FRIEND
You won't need enemies. You'd be better off as a recluse. Don't trust him with your money, your reputation or your wife. He's a person who hates but is unable to say he hates.
He deals in treachery and expects to be forgiven. He'll tell you he stood up for you when he actually did his best to destroy your reputation. He'll flatter you quite insincerely while he
waits for his moment to do you in. And he'll find more ways of doing you in than I can possibly catalog in one chapter.
The 1.1 expects special privileges or exemptions, He'll be the one most likely to assume that he can break the rules of a marriage, a company, a group or society.
We often like the 1.1 at first because he pretends to be so high-tone. But eventually (unless we're in Sympathy)we grow to despise him. Our loathing, however, is sometimes
hard to explain because we can seldom pin down exactly what this doll is doing that's so despicable.
While he's arrogant, he's such an accomplished actor that we may be deceived by his
put-on of humility Having command of all the tones below his, he uses them without conscience to convince us he's harmless and means well. In this way, he manipulates people, always seeking hidden control. He may weep, plead, propitiate or sympathize; he may pose contempt or disdain. But through all the histrionics he is trying to nullify others to get them to
the level where they can be used.
If you get mad at him, he usually drops to Propitiation (goes out of his way to do
things for you or brings you gifts)or Grief ("I didn't mean any harm...")in order to worm his
way back into your confidence. Count on him to know your soft spots and to play on them
with consummate skill.
CONVERSATION
Here's a fast way to peg a 1.1: he seeks to introvert you. This generally occurs in the
first few seconds of meeting him. He'll say, "You've gained some weight, haven't you?"or "I
can't figure out why you look so different..."On the phone, he may open the conversation
with: ''Your voice sounds funny; do you have a cold?"Under the guise of friendly concern,
these remarks are meant to push your attention into yourself (and away from him). Soon you'll
be explaining yourself or worrying: "What's the matter with me?"
On meeting, the 1.1 nearly always tries to speak first in order to grasp control of the conversation. If he gets his own darts in first, there is less chance for something to be thrown
at him. I once introduced two 1.1 men to each other. As I did so, I wondered who would win
the inevitable rush to get in the first word. Well, they both started talking at once, and they kept talking for at least a full minute, neither hearing a single word said by the other. They were
well-matched.
Covert Hostility fills his conversation with small barbs, thinly veiled as compliments
("this cake is delicious, almost as good as anything you could buy in a store"). It's a 1.1 who uttered the classic put-down: ''That's such a lovely dress you're wearing. I've admired it for years."
He feels a continual nervous necessity to reject almost any remark. If you're trying to
make a sincere statement or present an upscale idea, he'll query it, "I see what you mean,
but..."He'll helpfully correct your pronunciation and word choices (he's the semantic fanatic),
start picking lint off your shoulder, or interject a joke at your expense (usually with puns; he
loves them). He uses any conceivable method of cutting your communication to ribbons. Of
course (ha ha)he didn't mean any harm. Just being friendly.
HONESTY
He lies when there's no reason to lie. Facts are confused, twisted or hidden, while he noisily advertises his honesty, ethics and virtue. He may be giving you his "sacred word"
while he wields his automatic knife-in-the-back trickery.
If you challenge his lies, he'll probably tell you he was being "subtle."
(...)
from "How to Choose Your People" by Ruth Minshull
----
The point is - I'VE BEEN LIKE THIS! Yeah, that's true. After reading this book I felt very, very bad. I was forced to confront my own behaviour patterns, to really see what kind of man I was. But, from that point things started to change, I started to change. There are lots of things I still have to work on, but I'm already on the way of clearing my act.
Apart from seeing myself in the mirror for the first time of my life I also had a tool for choosing people with whom I'd like to associate and spot those which I should avoid. Oh boy, that really gets much burdern off one's shoulders.
So, without further ado, here is a google query - just paste it in google and hit enter ;)
"how to choose your people" +filetype:pdf
best wishes,
I write this post with a little bit of hesitation, because the material which I'd like to propose to your attention is directly connected with philsophy and technology which through the years went under such a vicious covert and overt attack, that it's misaplication, distortion, misunderstanding went to great lenghts in relatively short time, comparing with the degradation of application of eastern philosophies. There still may be places where on could find knowledgable, honest and able practictioners in that particular field, but because of it's wide scope and huge area of spiritual reality covered by this philosophy it's extremely difficult to reach one contructive conclusion whether or not engage in it, or where to look for help or practice. I've spent three years of my life researching that area and still I have many unanswered questions.
Nevertheless, there are pieces of workable knowledge in that philosophy that I found extremely useful already, which could aid us in difficult task of discerning between sheep and wolves.
The problem is, souled beings may often be in such a poor spiritual/psychological shape, that they can be mistaken with psychopatic villains. Those persons share some traits with beings we try to keep away from.
I write this after reading Magus' post entitled "Keys To Spotting Self-Involvement". I've spotted there some references to particular behaviour which was part of my own actions/beingness. While I uderstand the best intentions of Magus, his statements were oversilmplified to the point, that I've finally decided to post the material.
I've intentionally omitted calling the philosophy by it's name, because I think we don't need any more ill-willed attention, that we already have. More than that, I'll post only the google query for number of reasons which I'm ready to explain, but maybe it won't be necessary.
Here is short excerpt from a book:
---
Chapter 9
COVERT HOSTILITY (1.1)
Covert: 1)Covered or covered over; sheltered. 2)concealed; hidden; secret.
Hostile: 1) Of or pertaining to an enemy. 2)feeling or showing enmity; antagonistic.
American Heritage Dictionary
The main difficulty with a 1.1 is that he doesn't wear a neon sign telling you he's a 1.1.
It's a cover-up tone the most difficult one on the scale to recognize. After you do spot
one, don't expect the next 1.1 you meet to bear much resemblance.
HIS MANY DISGUISES
He may be that hearty buffoon, "the life of the party."She's the inconspicuous little old
maid down the street who never forgets your birthday. He could be the jovial, back-slapping salesman. The smooth con man. The witty, entertaining gossip columnist. The swaggering
office Don Juan who might be the smiling lady next door who knows all the delicious little
stories about the neighbors. He's the lover who is gay and tenderly passionate one minute and disdainfully sarcastic the next. He's the clever impostor who passed himself off as a surgeon
for fifteen years. He's the gentle-mannered homosexual. Or that pleasant young man who
"never said an unkind word to anyone"but was just convicted of seven hideous sex crimes. Or
that newspaper reporter who appeared so friendly until his story (full of slimy innuendoes)was
in print. And here's where we find that nice bank president who embezzled $100,000 and skipped off to Brazil with the belly dancer. He could be the sensitive poet, the suave millionaire
or the charming vagrant who lives by his wits and hasn't done a day's work in twenty years. Wherever he turns up, he'll be in disguise. If you're generous in character, you may be tempted to treat him leniently. Don't.
(...)
AS A FRIEND
You won't need enemies. You'd be better off as a recluse. Don't trust him with your money, your reputation or your wife. He's a person who hates but is unable to say he hates.
He deals in treachery and expects to be forgiven. He'll tell you he stood up for you when he actually did his best to destroy your reputation. He'll flatter you quite insincerely while he
waits for his moment to do you in. And he'll find more ways of doing you in than I can possibly catalog in one chapter.
The 1.1 expects special privileges or exemptions, He'll be the one most likely to assume that he can break the rules of a marriage, a company, a group or society.
We often like the 1.1 at first because he pretends to be so high-tone. But eventually (unless we're in Sympathy)we grow to despise him. Our loathing, however, is sometimes
hard to explain because we can seldom pin down exactly what this doll is doing that's so despicable.
While he's arrogant, he's such an accomplished actor that we may be deceived by his
put-on of humility Having command of all the tones below his, he uses them without conscience to convince us he's harmless and means well. In this way, he manipulates people, always seeking hidden control. He may weep, plead, propitiate or sympathize; he may pose contempt or disdain. But through all the histrionics he is trying to nullify others to get them to
the level where they can be used.
If you get mad at him, he usually drops to Propitiation (goes out of his way to do
things for you or brings you gifts)or Grief ("I didn't mean any harm...")in order to worm his
way back into your confidence. Count on him to know your soft spots and to play on them
with consummate skill.
CONVERSATION
Here's a fast way to peg a 1.1: he seeks to introvert you. This generally occurs in the
first few seconds of meeting him. He'll say, "You've gained some weight, haven't you?"or "I
can't figure out why you look so different..."On the phone, he may open the conversation
with: ''Your voice sounds funny; do you have a cold?"Under the guise of friendly concern,
these remarks are meant to push your attention into yourself (and away from him). Soon you'll
be explaining yourself or worrying: "What's the matter with me?"
On meeting, the 1.1 nearly always tries to speak first in order to grasp control of the conversation. If he gets his own darts in first, there is less chance for something to be thrown
at him. I once introduced two 1.1 men to each other. As I did so, I wondered who would win
the inevitable rush to get in the first word. Well, they both started talking at once, and they kept talking for at least a full minute, neither hearing a single word said by the other. They were
well-matched.
Covert Hostility fills his conversation with small barbs, thinly veiled as compliments
("this cake is delicious, almost as good as anything you could buy in a store"). It's a 1.1 who uttered the classic put-down: ''That's such a lovely dress you're wearing. I've admired it for years."
He feels a continual nervous necessity to reject almost any remark. If you're trying to
make a sincere statement or present an upscale idea, he'll query it, "I see what you mean,
but..."He'll helpfully correct your pronunciation and word choices (he's the semantic fanatic),
start picking lint off your shoulder, or interject a joke at your expense (usually with puns; he
loves them). He uses any conceivable method of cutting your communication to ribbons. Of
course (ha ha)he didn't mean any harm. Just being friendly.
HONESTY
He lies when there's no reason to lie. Facts are confused, twisted or hidden, while he noisily advertises his honesty, ethics and virtue. He may be giving you his "sacred word"
while he wields his automatic knife-in-the-back trickery.
If you challenge his lies, he'll probably tell you he was being "subtle."
(...)
from "How to Choose Your People" by Ruth Minshull
----
The point is - I'VE BEEN LIKE THIS! Yeah, that's true. After reading this book I felt very, very bad. I was forced to confront my own behaviour patterns, to really see what kind of man I was. But, from that point things started to change, I started to change. There are lots of things I still have to work on, but I'm already on the way of clearing my act.
Apart from seeing myself in the mirror for the first time of my life I also had a tool for choosing people with whom I'd like to associate and spot those which I should avoid. Oh boy, that really gets much burdern off one's shoulders.
So, without further ado, here is a google query - just paste it in google and hit enter ;)
"how to choose your people" +filetype:pdf
best wishes,