Should I attend a new school?

[Alcarohtare]

Considering my official status (for the system) I'm incompetent.
As I said before in my newbie intro, I left my high school, 4 years ago due many reasons. BTW, since then my social life is zero, I do not exchange my thoughts almost with anyone, I became ,,lone wolf'' wich isn't good at all.
At that time I couldn't DO anything for myself, whatever, now I'm aware of many things going around...I certainly have no reasons for serving the system nor for residing in the material world, I have no ambition to become ''somebody'', You know what I mean - should I attend a new ''school''? I should probably find some new company for interaction.
Any comments, advices for this uncomfortable situation?

 

[Zadius Sky]

I think it's a good idea for going back to school. You've mentioned that you had left high school four years ago, so getting a diploma or whatever it's called that said you have completed your studies and helps to get a better job. If you do go back to school, it's part of being a good "obyvatel" - to get your everyday life in order, so to speak. This does not hinder the progress of the Work.

Maybe I've missed it, but do you currently have any job?

I certainly have no reasons for serving the system nor for residing in the material world, I have no ambition to become ''somebody'', You know what I mean - should I attend a new ''school''? I should probably find some new company for interaction.

Being a "lone wolf" or being in an isolation doesn't help you or your learning progress. So, having an interaction with other people would help you to learn more about the value of external consideration and to understand them as they are (and in the process, about yourself). Maybe, you'd find someone or people to "interact" with while you're in school?

fwiw

 

[paralleloscope]

Hi lux12

The choice is of course yours, but if you are considering working on yourself then you need to become somebody for yourself (Be the best you can be, for yourself) , inhabit your three brains and learn to navigate the material world so to speak which is near impossible on your own, OSIT. Wether you choose to come out of your shell in a school or work environment depends on where you are; both are valid arenas to learn and see your programs, how you are perceived and practice external considering.

I also made the choice of dropping out, escaping the friction and also found it to be a bad choice and am working my way through the education system again circa 10 years older than my peers, it's fun seeing with new perspectives on learning, seeing how every bit of learning fits into the grander picture and working on those simple and small karmic lessons meanwhile.

Coming out of ones shell of internal considering is tough work, but can be fun and much eased along by reading among others the books recommended here on narcissism, getting ones diet right (see 'Life Without bread' thread), EE breathing and sharing the deeper stuff with people who care (us) while practing external considering and strategic enclosure with people that may not be into learning what the purpose of life is.

Can you elaborate what it is exactly that is uncomfortable in your situation?

 

[mada85]

I certainly have no reasons for serving the system nor for residing in the material world

Well, I would say that your reason for residing in the material world is the simple fact that you were born here and the only way out is death. However, perhaps I am mistaking your meaning. Do you mean that you have no desire to spend your time acquiring more and more meaningless possessions? That you have understood that acquiring possessions is just an attempt to fill the inner emptiness?

As far as serving the system goes, I would say: give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's. Meaning, take care of your legal obligations to the state – taxes, job, etc – so that you have time to pursue the things that have real meaning for you.

If you continue to practice regular EE, and eat a low carb/high fat diet, you will find that your depressive states will lighten and your mood will become more stable. Have you read the forum thread 'Life Without Bread'? Or any of the recommended books on this diet? This is very important so that you have a good knowledge of how to handle the transition to a fat based metabolism.

I have no ambition to become ''somebody''

Life only requires that you become yourself. EE and the Work – in conjunction with the network - are probably the best methods for achieving this goal.

You know what I mean - should I attend a new ''school''?

Since you put 'school' in quotes, do you mean a school which is not a part of the system? Such as a Fourth Way school? The school of life?

I should probably find some new company for interaction.

I am in a similar position to you, lux12. I don't have any friends, and no social life. I don't know if age is relevant in this type of scenario, but it seems to me that it is more difficult to find friends if one is not interested in clubs, drinking and what usually passes for 'social activities' in our society.

My daughter is 23, and has a very similar history to you. What you wrote in your intro . . .

Due to my deep melancholic states I dropped out from school . . . I needed to spend ''some time'' in isolation 'cause I felt awful and was very suicidal.

. . . could have been written about her. However for the past four years or so she has patiently attended various support groups for people with mental health issues, and she now has a couple of good friends she goes out with from time to time. She even had a boyfriend for a few weeks. Perhaps you could find something like that in your town that would enable you to meet people? And attend such a group only as far as you feel comfortable?

I understand that when one has no friends it is very easy to think that no-one would want to be your friend. One feels needy, perhaps desperate, but I think it worth considering a couple of things that Benjamin Franklin said:

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.

If you would be loved, love, and be loveable.

Neediness and desperation for friends will certainly drive away potential friends. A relaxed alertness and external considering will make you more 'friendly'.

Ultimately, you are where you are because that is where you are, and to paraphrase anart, it could be no other way. So the main thing, I think, is to continue to work on yourself, read and gain knowledge, especially about human psychology and the workings of the mind, and take things one step at a time.

 

[Alcarohtare]

Myrddin Awyr: No, I've never had a job, but I'm planning to get some at spring.
parallel: I agree with everything you've said. When I said uncomfortable I meant following: I live with my parents and one of them is literally psychopath. My father. His influence. I should get away from there. But that is another story.
Endimyon: I certainly don't want any possessions. My diet is fine, it could be better though.

Thank you all for your wise advices and recommendations! ;)
Lux

 

[Deleted member 4320]

I'm same age as you. I also had different periods of doubt and disturbance.

Do not let your assumptions and emotional blockades drives you. Focus on the regular practice of EE. It really improves your emotional ability. You maintain the balance and begining to more naturally interact with the environment.

Don't wait to spring for get a job. Start now, ask your closer and further family whether thay don't need some help for which they could pay you, or get some easy available job like leaflets. Join some e.g dance classes. It will not allow you to stay alone, will force you to have fun with people, open to the touch. You will have a good chance of a new relationships.

I keep my fingers crossed for your efforts for independence from parents.

 

[Alcarohtare]

Thank You lux, you're such a heart! ;)