Should I feel this way?

[lwu02eb]

I decided to consciously change some habits this year and attend work Christmas lunches. I decided to do this for the purpose of observing myself and others and as they say "when in Rome, do as the Romans do".

I went along, was condial, answered questions and spoke when it was appropriate. However, I found myself feeling thoroughly deflated during and after the event. The reason for this deflation was, on inspection, due to the huge amounts of forensic examination given to issues of little or no worth (in my opinion). Examles include, the huge amount of time given over the discussing indulgences of a million sorts. Namely, 'food', all the other meals that they would be having during the festive season (even that night) and seemingly endless discussion about the latest episodes of various valueless television programmes and, of course, complaining about every conceivable thing.

I, whilst not asking others why they were doing what they were doing, which was to eat huge amounts of sugar (both complex and simple) because I already know why they do that - thoughtlessly, mindlessly and habitually, was almost hostility asked why I was only eating meat and fat, and not eating dessert etc and was subjected to yet another inquisition for my 'evil deeds' in raising chickens for meat etc. I should note that I didn't raise any of these issues, I was asked and so I responded as appropriate.

I didn't feel angry and nor did I respond angrily but I just feel a bit sad and weary that this is the sum lot of a 'social gathering'.

It was useful, because it once again provided me with an idea of how not to be, but still, I somehow feel out of sorts. Is this the correct response or have I done something wrong?

 

[Mrs. Peel]

It was useful, because it once again provided me with an idea of how not to be, but still, I somehow feel out of sorts. Is this the correct response or have I done something wrong?

I find there's nothing like a work function to make me feel how "different" I am. ;) Currently, everywhere I look there are boxes of candy, cookies, etc., that were gifts from vendors to coworkers, left sitting out for all (but me) to enjoy. We are going through a retirement "incentive" as a preface to a reduction in workforce, so just about every day there is a "cake" reception for a group of people who are leaving. Sometimes I'll carry a piece of cake out with me and just give it to a coworker who didn't attend.

On Thursday we have our department Christmas lunch at the country club down the street. Of the three menu choices, a filet was the least Evil. But you are right, the conversations center around cookie swaps, sports, reality shows, current events (the Fox news version), and who is making what for Christmas dinner.

As you say, when in Rome... but I don't try and flaunt my diet, or my views, and mostly just try and blend in. How do they know you raise chickens? And what's wrong with that? Why would they think it's evil to eat them? Odd...

But you're right, I do feel kind of out of sorts after sometimes. I guess it's just a longing to be around one's own kind instead. :/

 

[Mr. Premise]

I'm not sure there's a "correct response." It seems like your actions were correct which is the important thing. It's normal to feel a little alienated when you can perceive the distance between what you do and what they do. But I've found in these situations that of all the topics we concentrate on here, regular people are most interested in diet. Not that they are going to change how they eat but everyone seems to like talking about it. When I say I can't have something and explain I'm on the Paleo diet they always ask a lot of questions and I tell them how much weight I've lost and how good I feel, how I never feel hungry,how my blood pressure is down, etc.

I think the thing to work on is compassion for these people who are being poisoned by mechanically doing what the culture tells them to do.

 

[Seppo Ilmarinen]

You could tell that you have food allergies or digestive problems and this diet helps your stomach or you don't like the taste of certain foods. It's usually much easier for people to accept subjective explanations than objective scientific information, because most people don't want their world view challenged. It always depends of the persons involved and the dynamics of the situation. If you get a feeling that there's too much focus on your lifestyle or it starts to get too hostile, you could try to direct the conversation into other topics. But yeah, I've had similar experiences too.

 

[lwu02eb]

I stupidly let slip about the chickens before I became aware of strategic enclosure. The obvious hypocrisy of these people sitting before me eating poor quality turkey that was reared (probably appallingly) for the purpose of feeding them whilst at the same time berating me for rearing chickens for meat seemed to slip by their notice. Sigh

I know well enough by now not to antagonize people so I just said the least offensive things and just let the conversation move on once they'd had their fill.

 

[Carl]

This was the case with me in my old place of work, before really learning to externally consider.

Now where I work nobody knows about my diet, about what I read or what I do in my spare time, or really anything about me other than "orthodox" stuff I talk about such as Uni, and what Christmas presents I'm buying for my mother. Coming across as completely normal is actually very easy now. I even take chocolates that I am offered and just throw them in the bin when nobody is looking

Maybe I've gone too far the wrong way and am missing opportunities to share knowledge with people, but I have become a bit better at understanding whether people would be open to new ideas or not, and these just don't seem the type. Then again, who knows.

My advice is just to always keep up a big belly smile and plenty of humour when questioned about your diet etc. I know it's hard and our self importance starts to feel attacked, but it's really the best way of deflecting energy draining and not coming across as some kind of freak.

I stupidly let slip about the chickens before I became aware of strategic enclosure. The obvious hypocrisy of these people sitting before me eating poor quality turkey that was reared (probably appallingly) for the purpose of feeding them whilst at the same time berating me for rearing chickens for meat seemed to slip by their notice. Sigh

I know well enough by now not to antagonize people so I just said the least offensive things and just let the conversation move on once they'd had their fill.

I would have jokingly pointed this out to them, perfect way to shut people is forcing them to think!

 

[Nook]

I didn't feel angry and nor did I respond angrily but I just feel a bit sad and weary that this is the sum lot of a 'social gathering'.

It was useful, because it once again provided me with an idea of how not to be, but still, I somehow feel out of sorts. Is this the correct response or have I done something wrong?

I occasionally still feel this way, even though I'm trying to have more of a happy-go-lucky attitude that the C's mentioned in one of the sessions, no judging, no anticipation, being open, etc but it's not always easy being surrounded by 'people' like that.
'Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it. ' - Morpheus

I also had to adjust what I say there due to strategic enclosure, after I've already discussed a few things, mostly health related. And I was at this job when I went Ketogenic so people have seen the difference which is helpful. And there are a few (3 approx. out of 30) people who don't dismiss something just because I said it - or because of trigger words - and they sort of seem to be using their common sense, so when they ask me something, I do answer truthfully.

 

[Mrs. Peel]

Maybe I've gone too far the wrong way and am missing opportunities to share knowledge with people, but I have become a bit better at understanding whether people would be open to new ideas or not, and these just don't seem the type. Then again, who knows.

Well, you can try and share knowledge but I find people rarely want to hear it. I spent a period talking about diet and health to my coworkers at the lunch table. Some seemed interested, but when they realized what they have to give up, well, they really aren't willing to do that, and readily admit it. One woman has a son who just became a doctor and she believes all the "standards" that conventional medicine spews out. "Everything in moderation" she keeps saying every time I make any comments, and "I'm gonna die of something!"

So, you can try and share knowledge with people if they do seem open to it, and you're right, who knows?

 

[lwu02eb]

Nuke, that's spooky! I'm writing an article about this and I chose that very quote at almost the same time you posted...

 

[Deleted member 4320]

During my life I tried several times to familiarize people with various topics, from politics, through diet, until the "Aliens".

Many times I was observing how people were not interested or were jumping to conclusions without a deeper understanding of what I want to convey to them. When somebody are not really interested, doesn't have a true desire to learn the best is to leave that person alone.

STO is giving when has been asked. So the best position we can take is to reveals the truth and "advertise" it, without impose oneself. Good example is the sharing on the Facebook, the most are familiar with it. We publish on the our own wall but somebody who is interested can take a look on it, and here our role is over, unless someone really asks for further guidelines or information. This is just exemple, there are other ways to help others.

IMHO

 

[Mr. Premise]

I think my positive talking about the diet has to do with the fact that for my job I travel around to my company's customers sites and consult. So I am meeting and eating lunch for the first time. Friends of mine whom I see regularly don't want to hear about it because they probably think I will keep bothering them about it. But strangers, in the United States always want to hear about diets (I think it's different in other countries).

Just today in fact someone at a customer site told me he would start the diet. He had heard of it but never met anyone on it.

 

[Nook]

Nuke, that's spooky! I'm writing an article about this and I chose that very quote at almost the same time you posted...

Never believed in coincidences

I tend to try and stay away from saying anything anymore to anyone. It's not only about Strategic Enclosure and External Consideration but the fact that we can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped or they don't even realize that they need some help. Contrary to what I used to believe from age 16 on that we need to shock or 'shake people up' to even give them a chance to think about things, because as long as they're in their comfort zone and delusional to no limit, they won't do any real thinking, which is true as L said in PP, fwiw.

A while back a costumer at work (I work at an Asian fusion restaurant), a customer sparked a conversation saying 'Isn't this the best sushi roll?'. 'Yeah, I used to think it's the best!' - I replied. 'Used to?', 'yes I don't eat any form of rice anymore', said I, 'Well, what do you eat now?' asked he. So he kept me engaged in conversation for minutes at the table which is frowned upon by management obviously but he seemed so interested in whatever I had to say, so I told him if he'd like, I could give him a list of recommended books on the subject and he was more than eager to agree. So I gave him a list that included LWB, VM, PBPM and a few others. I'm still not sure if this was the right thing to do, if I subconsciously planted the term 'used to' to 'give him a chance' to ask further questions or to sort of test him or that it was just a natural way of the subject turning up...especially since there's not many instances of anything just 'naturally occurring' but when people ask I try to be truthful as much as possible.

 

[Graalsword]

At my new work, there are two types of people. As in all callcenters, there are a lot of young people, and some of them are musicians (like me) or with other professions and in general people more open to [what is averagely perceived as] "strange or different things". Some others are much more conventional and only talk about football, cars and TV. I have had with a couple of the former ones certain conversations, one of them asked me about a printed pdf book I was reading (one of the psychology books) and we ended up talking about Gurdjieff, the Real I, the matrix, etc., he was very interested and agreed that people were very mechanical, including himself. That was a big surprise for me.

With another one, we were talking about food (I don't remember exactly how we got there) and he said about fat being perjudicial, I told him that according to some new research it was the opposite, that our paleolithic ancestors ate a lot of fat with meat, and he agreed and he agreed that that was true, and added that marrow was one of the original foods and, therefore that new research could be right, etc..

But I avoid going beyond that, except if I am asked to give more specific information, something that almost never happens.

On the contrary, most closer friends and relatives react almost violently to any suggestion of mainstream food being evil, or the possibility of comets aproaching, ice age, zionism, aliens, and even psychopathy. So I learnt to hold my tongue and refrain to talk about it at all.

We cannot make a cow behave as a lion. Same goes for human beings of different types or persons in a different stage of their learning path.

 

[KTC]

Don't worry. I recently had the same experience catching up with old friends while travelling.

They couldn't understand why I wouldn't 'treat' my son to sweets or let him drink their low fat, calcium enriched, lactose free milk from the fridge (how can they even call that milk??) Why couldn't he have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and how on earth could I feed him bacon.. with the fat on it!.. without toast?!?!

Of course the vegetarian myth came up. She's considering vegetarianism because its 'better for the environment'... smaller footprint, better for your health... the usual. Disturbingly this girl has a double degree in law and environmental science and works for the local council lobbying for the carbon taxing scheme. And she's a great chick. She really believes her plight.

He has recently survived a serious shark attack and is in rehab, gilled up with medication and dealing with all sorts of stuff mentally and physically. But he just couldn't understand the equation that what he put into his body may have any effect on his current situation and how his body is dealing with the trauma. He lived on 'convenience food', medication and booze... 'and how could fat be good for you anyways'??

I felt like I was living upside down.. or had stepped into a World that was certainly topsy turvy, with their 'low fat this' and 'fat free that', 'sugar free this' and 'vegetarian that'. If anything it was just a reminder as to how far I have come and how much I have learnt.. and just how difficult I find it trying to explain things to people who are just so brain washed.

Frustrating when its your work mates.. heart breaking when its your dear friends.

I've said it before.. thank goodness for this forum or we'd all be on a very lonely path. ;)

 

[lwu02eb]

Thanks for all your responses, you're right of course. It's all about perspective and what you do with the information. It gave me material to write an article so it's not all bad!