Hi CurtisL,
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With respect to outing a potential sociopath or psychopath...
CurtisL said:
Bar Kochba said:
If you were to tell her about him, she most likely would not believe you, as was already pointed out. AND, she would most likely tell HIM what you tried to do, which most likely would turn his attention to YOU. And you do not want that. There may be people fully equipped to deal with sociopaths, but rarely do they bnme out of the situation umscathed. And if you are not equipped, then... You wont know what hit you. FWIW
I wish to reiterate that if I were to "out" him, it would be anonymous (via email) and I would only provide information that he did not serve in the Marines like she believes and that might start the process for her to get out of the relationship.
Also, I am not worried about him turning his attention to me at all as he has intentionally removed himself from ALL family because he is pretending to be someone his entire family knows he is not.
He would just take this as a learning experience (if he figures out how someone outed him) and quit posting on social media sites and probably make his next girlfriend/wife/victim also stay off such sites.
I think it would be dangerous to assume that he would not turn his attention on you. One thing I've learned about pathological types is that they may make it their life's work to destroy anyone who gets in their way or threatens their plans. You would have to imagine it from their perspective, which is quite difficult if you don't have a pathological mind. However, if such a person has a plan to deceive, they will inject every ounce of their energy into maintaining the deception. For them, the deception is their current focus and they will put their all into executing their plan of deception. Since they are overly confident, they do not make a backup plan because they do not consider failure as a possible outcome.
If anything interferes with their plan, they will react as if their very life is being threatened but they will also add to their reactive energy their anger and resentment. Their sense of self righteousness allows them to justify their actions without any regard for anyone else. And if they do not know who is behind the perceived threat, they will make it their life's ambition to discover who is behind it, including tracing back on Internet traffic to pinpoint the origin of the "anonymous" email or web posting or finding someone who can, if they do not possess such skill. You are never as invisible on the Internet as you would like to be. There would be no greater motivation for them than to seek and destroy those who they feel are trying to destroy them.
I also think it dangerous to imagine he will somehow learn a lesson. Do you have any evidence from past behaviour to indicate he learns anything that does not fit within his view of how things should be in the world? The only lessons they seem to learn, from what I understand, is how to be a better sociopath or psychopath.
Although I completely understand why you would want to help someone avoid being his victim, and perhaps be driven also by a desire to shame him into change, I fear you are playing with fire and want to stress how dangerous the approach you are consider might actually be. Since there's a good possibility that your end goals would not be met, and that you run the risk of drawing his negative attention and actions towards you and your family, it seems to me like it would be better to leave him alone and accept his rejection of you and the family. As well, it might make sense to stop looking for whatever he posts on the Internet as it will only continue to make you want to react. Part of accepting his rejection might involve letting go of your interest in him.
Respectfully,
Gonzo
