Significative Childhood Memories

[Deleted member 8431]

Hi guys.

I wanted to share some memories I have from being 5-7 years old. I was thinking the other day about how I was as a kid, how I evolved to become who I am and various lessons I had gone through in my youth. These are specific events that have marked me as a kid and I'll add a few comments after (analysis).

Story 1: When I was in kindergarden, we were basically playing diffrent kind of games. That day, I was in the art section and found a little cardboard plate that I took to make something. Just as I took it, a little girl came to me and asked me if there were any left. I told her that it was the last one but that she could have mine and gave it to her without any hesitation.

Story 2: Kindergarden again. We were in the lego section and kids would always rush to find the 'rare lego parts' that everyone wanted. I remember that everytime, I would just let them do their little 'war' and once everyone was satisfied, I just used what's left without ever complaining.

As a matter of fact, that very same year, I was rewarded with a trip to the planetarium because I had been designated as being the most generous and well-bahaving kid of that year by the teacher. Note that she haden't told us that such reward system exists as she wanted us to be natural instead of 'faking it' just to get the treat.

Story 3: When I was in grade 1 (elementary) we once had to make a 'circle of friends'. We were all sitting in a group, one was told to stand up and to choose a friend and invite him/her to the circle. Then the added friend would choose another one etc. Now at one point, I remember that girl being the only one left sitting in the middle of the circle (crying) and nobody wanted to invite her. They were actully laughing at her as she already had a 'reject' reputation over other kids. Now what happened is I felt very sad for this girl. And on top of it, I knew everyone who dared talked to her were laughed at as well. Well, that didn't bother me as I just got out of the circle, handed my hand asking her to be my firend and integrated her to the group.

---

So in retrospect, if I think about how I was and what I have been exposed to I can already see some lessons that have began back then and still ongoing today.

I have always been a very calm, non-violent kid but some others were completely the opposite. Being exposed to violence and other behaviors of the sort was very hard for me because I didn't want to 'play that sort of game'. I would just let it happen and tried to avoid it. I have never really been a victim but yes, some people did abuse my generosity and picked on me from times to times.

Later in high school, I have already picked on some other people (perhaps just to 'look cool') but felt really bad and many years later, I contacted them of facebook to apologize. During high-school, I wasen't one of the popular guys but neither one of the reject. I had many friends that sometimes really didn't get along with eachother. That was also hard for me but actually, I never just dropped one buddy because of what others did/say. Quite the opposite actually.

Anyhow, feel free to comment and share significant memories of your own that might relate to your inner-self and lessons.

I'm not looking to be flattered here by the way. I don't feel special about it. Just myself.

Peace.

 

[Alcarohtare]

Hello, JayMark, after reading some of your memories i instantly remember some of mine from a childhood epoch too.
It seems you've been aware of things straight from the start of your 'fieldwork' here, since you preferred to give above to take.
Thanks for sharing!
Cheers

 

[Deleted member 8431]

It seems you've been aware of things straight from the start of your 'fieldwork' here, since you preferred to give above to take.

That's what I've been reflecting on.

Now I'm trying to figure out how the programming installed itself (or should I say, how I accepted it and how it was presented to me).

As they say, the devil is in the details.

Thanks.

 

[ggen]

Hi JayMark and thank you for posting this topic. It begins to get interesting when one begins the work of finding programs eh?! ;)

Since actually beginning the WORK several years ago, I too have reflected on my earliest memories. Like yourself, I remember witnessing other children being laughed at, picked on, or physically abused by their peers. At times, I was that child. I always felt compelled to stand up for the one being ostricised. Whether a toy was taken or someone was pushed down on the playground, I always went running to their defense. I remember wondering why other kids were so cruel and why none of the adults seemed to do anything.

When I was around 10 years old I was constantly being tormented by a boy in my class. The name calling, tripping in the hallways, made up rumors, ect. got to be too much for me. I had lost the friends I thought were my friends and many kids were talking about me and ignoring any defense I had to offer. I finally told my parents and the principal was then contacted. I remember sitting in her office as she asked me questions and 'advised' my parents and me. She had a collection of dozens of dressed teddy bears strewn throughout the small space. She wore gaudy (back then I would have said sparkly) rings on just about every finger. I don't remember any of the words said, just the general outcome. She blew off my feelings and said that "Boys will be boys." My parents later told me that she had basically alluded to them that I was 'asking' for it. This was a crushing blow to me at such an age. I knew that I had asked for NONE of the 'abuse' that was rendered against me. (Maybe looking out for the other kids...?)I didn't understand how the 'principal' of an elementary school couldn't 'fix' or attempt to 'correct' what was happening to me. (Looking back, what about the teachers?!) The harassment continued as did my parent's ongoing plea that something be done. Nothing changed except that summer came and then I was off to a different school.
I realize now that the 'principal' was probably one of the first intimate encounters I had with a pathological type. Even at the time, I knew she just wasn't 'right' in her assessment and lack of actions. I wonder how many children suffered as a result of her being the 'overseer' of their 'educational' well being.
The very pertinent lesson I learned at 10 years old was that not all adults listen, care, or tell the truth. As an adult, I see the same types of individuals 'reigning' over every 'institution', elementary schools not exempt.
Since that time, bullying (at least in the schools of the U.S.) has been somewhat addressed and measures have been taken.
Although what happened to me was minor in comparison to what happens to other children of bullies, I took with me vital information and learned how to stand up for myself. It was one of the most eye opening experiences I had as a young person.

 

[Mrs. Peel]

Hi guys.

I wanted to share some memories I have from being 5-7 years old. I was thinking the other day about how I was as a kid, how I evolved to become who I am and various lessons I had gone through in my youth. These are specific events that have marked me as a kid and I'll add a few comments after (analysis).

Story 1: When I was in kindergarden, we were basically playing diffrent kind of games. That day, I was in the art section and found a little cardboard plate that I took to make something. Just as I took it, a little girl came to me and asked me if there were any left. I told her that it was the last one but that she could have mine and gave it to her without any hesitation.

Story 2: Kindergarden again. We were in the lego section and kids would always rush to find the 'rare lego parts' that everyone wanted. I remember that everytime, I would just let them do their little 'war' and once everyone was satisfied, I just used what's left without ever complaining.

As a matter of fact, that very same year, I was rewarded with a trip to the planetarium because I had been designated as being the most generous and well-bahaving kid of that year by the teacher. Note that she haden't told us that such reward system exists as she wanted us to be natural instead of 'faking it' just to get the treat.

Story 3: When I was in grade 1 (elementary) we once had to make a 'circle of friends'. We were all sitting in a group, one was told to stand up and to choose a friend and invite him/her to the circle. Then the added friend would choose another one etc. Now at one point, I remember that girl being the only one left sitting in the middle of the circle (crying) and nobody wanted to invite her. They were actully laughing at her as she already had a 'reject' reputation over other kids. Now what happened is I felt very sad for this girl. And on top of it, I knew everyone who dared talked to her were laughed at as well. Well, that didn't bother me as I just got out of the circle, handed my hand asking her to be my firend and integrated her to the group.

Well, I was probably the little "reject" girl sitting in the middle of the circle that everyone laughed at. That caused me to grow up with a chip on my shoulder against anybody "popular" and to imagine slights or put-downs that probably weren't intended as such. It's something I still work on, anytime there is a person, trend, or whatever that everyone praises, I go for something different. Everyone loved Paul McCartney, I liked John Lennon. :D A lot of that was to get "attention" (other than laughter) that I never got as a kid.

So today, I can sympathize with the outcasts, the ones who are bulllied, the ones who are different, cause I can remember what it was like to be "not cool."

Also, for the longest time, I imagined myself to be really "helpful" to other people. If I saw them trying to find something and I knew where it was, I'd speak up. If I walked past the carton of copy paper and nobody put it in the closet, I'd do it. If I saw dishes in the sink in the kitchen at work, I'd clean them up. Even if I spied a coworker I really didn't care for trying to do/find something, I'd go help. I thought I was soooo STO. Well you know what? I'n not STO, I'm just OCD! All those things that were "out of place" just bothered me so I dealt with them. Giving info/helping coworkers? Just trying to make myself feel superior..

Really takes oneself down a peg to realize what is actually going on with oneself! ;)

 

[Deleted member 8431]

Reminds me of another situation in second grade elementary.

One of the kids was pretty animated (perhaps hyperactive) and one of the teachers (we had two that worked alternative shifts) got so p*ssed one day that she took the boy's pencil case, shot it at the wall desintegrating it and then lifted the kid and threw him back down on his chair. Boy started to cry of course.

That was quite shocking. This teacher had always very severe (also she had a pretty wide shape) but that was just too much.

I don't remember what happened after but teacher got caught and fired. The other one took the full-time job and she was very soft, gentle and very nice.

Thanks for sharing as well!

Peace.

 

[Deleted member 8431]

Well, I was probably the little "reject" girl sitting in the middle of the circle that everyone laughed at. That caused me to grow up with a chip on my shoulder against anybody "popular" and to imagine slights or put-downs that probably weren't intended as such. It's something I still work on, anytime there is a person, trend, or whatever that everyone praises, I go for something different. Everyone loved Paul McCartney, I liked John Lennon. :D A lot of that was to get "attention" (other than laughter) that I never got as a kid.

So today, I can sympathize with the outcasts, the ones who are bulllied, the ones who are different, cause I can remember what it was like to be "not cool."

Also, for the longest time, I imagined myself to be really "helpful" to other people. If I saw them trying to find something and I knew where it was, I'd speak up. If I walked past the carton of copy paper and nobody put it in the closet, I'd do it. If I saw dishes in the sink in the kitchen at work, I'd clean them up. Even if I spied a coworker I really didn't care for trying to do/find something, I'd go help. I thought I was soooo STO. Well you know what? I'n not STO, I'm just OCD! All those things that were "out of place" just bothered me so I dealt with them. Giving info/helping coworkers? Just trying to make myself feel superior..

Really takes oneself down a peg to realize what is actually going on with oneself! ;)

Thanks for sharing!

And... and I would have been the one integrating you to the circle of friends. ;)

You have a good point though in your last paragraph. If one always help only to get something in return, to be prised or to feel superior, then I guess it couldn't be more STS that this. I have done that as well. But during those memories, it was purely instinctive and natural and that's why they are important for me. At least I know I wasen't born as an 'evil' baby just like Stewie Griffin (lol).

Peace.

 

[Mrs. Peel]

I have done that as well. But during those memories, it was purely instinctive and natural and that's why they are important for me. At least I know I wasen't born as an 'evil' baby just like Stewie Griffin (lol).

Peace.

Oh gawd, I HATE Stewie!!!

 

[Buddy]

Reminds me of another situation in second grade elementary.

One of the kids was pretty animated (perhaps hyperactive) and one of the teachers (we had two that worked alternative shifts) got so p*ssed one day that she took the boy's pencil case, shot it at the wall desintegrating it and then lifted the kid and threw him back down on his chair. Boy started to cry of course.

I was that boy. It wasn't until many years later that I learned that some people are addicted to their "calmness", have low stress tolerance thresholds and easily go spastic. I was just incredible bored and teacher blamed me as a buffer to prevent realizing how boring and utterly uncreative she was. True story (NOT! :D)

Seriously though, I was similar to that boy a lot of the time. Who knew what was what and why? :)

 

[Deleted member 8431]

I was that boy. It wasn't until many years later that I learned that some people are addicted to their "calmness", have low stress tolerance thresholds and easily go spastic. I was just incredible bored and teacher blamed me as a buffer to prevent realizing how boring and utterly uncreative she was. True story (NOT! :D)

Seriously though, I was similar to that boy a lot of the time. Who knew what was what and why? :)

Wanna join my circle of friends?

Another memory is about a guy who was pretty much like Stewie Griffin. I mean a kid. My age ('round 7), same class. He was literally 'evil'. Always picking on everybody, spitting on them, treat them like crap, punch them, kick them etc.

One day he got up to one of my soon-to-be-at-the-moment friend and stabbed him with a pencil, breaking the lead into his leg. Kid had to go to the hospital to have it removed.

The 'evil' kid was suspended if I recall but not ejected. I have met again him in my teen years ('round 16) and despite the fact he was more 'mature' I still felt strong negative vibes from him. He was very narcissic and it was always 'all about him'. He was very impulsive and not the kind of guy you want to mess with. He also had a rich family and was completely about material, girls, booze and sex.