Third_Density_Resident
Jedi Council Member
My sister has been with this guy for about 9 years now, who at first seemed all charming and nice etc., but who revealed the kind of person he is not long afterwards. Everything he has done since has only reinforced my belief that he is a psychopath. Everyone who has ever come to know him has more or less agreed that he rates very highly on the "asshole" scale. The only people who believe he is "nice" or a "good guy" are his friends, and my sister, who he is with. The whole thing wouldn't be half as bad if my sister's daughter (not his daughter) wasn't caught up in the whole mess, and sadly she suffers terribly from his sadistic behaviour. He loves to terrorise her and other children, but at the same time he engages in what can only be called "vulgar" behaviour, such as breathing on them just after he has been sick (i.e. vomited), and lying naked on my niece's bed when she wants to go to sleep, and refusing to move, saying that it's his house and he will do what he wants. He has done numerous other absolutely disgusting things which I can't discuss here, not to mention that twice now, two totally different people have attempted to press charges against him for lewd, inappropriate behaviour towards children.
The real tragedy of the whole thing is that my sister simply cannot see what everyone else around her can. She continues to defend him, saying that in truth he's a "good man" who is simply "misunderstood", despite the fact that she herself has told us, literally over a hundred different times, of all the nasty things this man has put her through (including making her pay for everything, buying his own family cars but not buying her one despite the fact that she's studying and can't make enough money on her own; dropping his own daughter off (from another relationship) at school but making my niece walk even though her school is on the way).
My sister thinks that everyone is "out to get him", when in truth all we want is for her to get away from this evil man. What hurts everyone so much is that she allows this man to make her own daughter miserable; most other normal women would have walked out long ago if their child was treated this way by a boyfriend, but not so in this case. None of us "have tried to get to know him" or "given him a chance", which is the biggest load of rubbish under the sun; in the beginning we gave him plenty of chances.
Many people (women, mostly) who have seen this creep, have been terrified just by his eyes alone -- they have claimed that he stares "right into their souls" and makes them feel very uncomfortable. I have heard that psychopaths have this "ability", or whatever it is, and this is one of the things that has convinced me he must be a psychopath.
Another convincing thing is that he has one friend who I also believe to be a psychopath. This friend has been exposed as being a total con-artist, getting people to pay for services which don't actually exist. Lovely people!
To top it all off, this evil man is the most materialistic person I've even known. He has well over a million dollars, and buys expensive boats, goes out to dinner all the time at fancy restaurants (but never takes my sister with him!), and more or less brags how wonderful he is for having so much stuff. To him his children are his possessions, they are not human beings to be loved.
He is also a shocking liar. A couple of years back he made up some story about how he had "heard" that my mother said something highly offensive to his mother. It turns out the whole thing was an absolute fabrication; my mother had never even spoken to his mother at that point in time. We never worked out who would have said such a thing, but we suspected all along that he made it up to cause trouble. Aside from lying, he never directly answers a question, and is always so calm and rational, no matter how heated a situation gets.
Anyway, I could go on and on ad nauseam, but I think you all get the idea.
The whole point of this post is simple: What do we (her family) do in such a situation?
My niece is the nicest little girl you could ever meet (she's 11), and yet she is made to put up with such a horrible person, and has now even been gagged from ever talking about certain "issues" to friends at school, and if she does, she will be "punished". I spoke with my sister the other day, and more or less got straight to the point. I said, "I have read an awful lot about a certain group of people in society with such-and-such traits (all of which match her boyfriend almost perfectly), and I believe your boyfriend is one such person. I suggest you read up on the topic yourself and try to disprove all of this for your own benefit and protection." All I got in reply was that everyone in the family had more or less been against her and she doesn't want much more to do with us. I have thought about directing her to various sources on psychopathy, but she is likey to either not read them at all, or if she does, not see that his behaviour is like that behaviour of a psychopath.
The real tragedy of the whole thing is that my sister simply cannot see what everyone else around her can. She continues to defend him, saying that in truth he's a "good man" who is simply "misunderstood", despite the fact that she herself has told us, literally over a hundred different times, of all the nasty things this man has put her through (including making her pay for everything, buying his own family cars but not buying her one despite the fact that she's studying and can't make enough money on her own; dropping his own daughter off (from another relationship) at school but making my niece walk even though her school is on the way).
My sister thinks that everyone is "out to get him", when in truth all we want is for her to get away from this evil man. What hurts everyone so much is that she allows this man to make her own daughter miserable; most other normal women would have walked out long ago if their child was treated this way by a boyfriend, but not so in this case. None of us "have tried to get to know him" or "given him a chance", which is the biggest load of rubbish under the sun; in the beginning we gave him plenty of chances.
Many people (women, mostly) who have seen this creep, have been terrified just by his eyes alone -- they have claimed that he stares "right into their souls" and makes them feel very uncomfortable. I have heard that psychopaths have this "ability", or whatever it is, and this is one of the things that has convinced me he must be a psychopath.
Another convincing thing is that he has one friend who I also believe to be a psychopath. This friend has been exposed as being a total con-artist, getting people to pay for services which don't actually exist. Lovely people!
To top it all off, this evil man is the most materialistic person I've even known. He has well over a million dollars, and buys expensive boats, goes out to dinner all the time at fancy restaurants (but never takes my sister with him!), and more or less brags how wonderful he is for having so much stuff. To him his children are his possessions, they are not human beings to be loved.
He is also a shocking liar. A couple of years back he made up some story about how he had "heard" that my mother said something highly offensive to his mother. It turns out the whole thing was an absolute fabrication; my mother had never even spoken to his mother at that point in time. We never worked out who would have said such a thing, but we suspected all along that he made it up to cause trouble. Aside from lying, he never directly answers a question, and is always so calm and rational, no matter how heated a situation gets.
Anyway, I could go on and on ad nauseam, but I think you all get the idea.
The whole point of this post is simple: What do we (her family) do in such a situation?
My niece is the nicest little girl you could ever meet (she's 11), and yet she is made to put up with such a horrible person, and has now even been gagged from ever talking about certain "issues" to friends at school, and if she does, she will be "punished". I spoke with my sister the other day, and more or less got straight to the point. I said, "I have read an awful lot about a certain group of people in society with such-and-such traits (all of which match her boyfriend almost perfectly), and I believe your boyfriend is one such person. I suggest you read up on the topic yourself and try to disprove all of this for your own benefit and protection." All I got in reply was that everyone in the family had more or less been against her and she doesn't want much more to do with us. I have thought about directing her to various sources on psychopathy, but she is likey to either not read them at all, or if she does, not see that his behaviour is like that behaviour of a psychopath.