wetroof said:
My sleep Paralysis has changed overtime. Before it was very 'light'. now it is usually accompanied with a pulsing in my brain that can be uncomfortable and hurt when it is really pronounced.
I've never mentioned this to anyone, but I used to have sleep paralysis alot.....too much.
Started when I joined the army at 18 and lasted until...oh, I dont know...around 30 I guess.
It began pretty much as what I hear described as what most experience....inability to move, impending doom, that type of thing.
When the onset of pain you mention started for me, there was no uncomfortable about it, for me at least. It felt as if my soul were being ripped to shreds. It was pure torture, seemingly night after night lasting forever. (I work as an electrician. One time I got hit by 277v of electricity. Even though it was only from my thumbpad to my forearm, it felt as if my whole body was hit. This is what it felt like)
For years I suffered with this. To this day, I still do not know why.
At some point, I just snapped. Now, I dont get angry much but I guess that I had enough. That was it. There was going to be no more begging, pleading, crying for it to stop.
I cant remember the date, but I can remember the mindset. You want me, the fing take me. Its kind of funny now, looking back at it, but then I was really ticked. Enough was enough.
Now I dont know if this would be the wrong thing to do, but it does not matter. Whats done is done. Anyways. I challenged it. I wanted it. Bring it.
And it did. I still to this day feel as if it was a fight for my life.
Once this decision was made, during the episodes, the pain would increase each time and each time I would remain defiant. Is that all you got. Then came the point that I took control. I called it on. I wanted more, I willed more, I forced it to give me more. It was me basically saying, "You cant have me. I am stronger than you"!!
It was that point of time that things started to change. The episodes happened less and less. Went from a few days a week, to a few days a month, to almost non existant. Also, as the time went on, I was able to recognize it before it had time to take full effect. For some reason, as soon as I recognized it it would begin to recede.
I'll be 45 pretty soon. Every once in a great while it still tries to slip in but I see it and its not a problem anymore, but looking back....I dont know what it was....why my brain would act like that...but I feel like I won something and I am a lucky man.
I know. Fantastic story eh? Probably why I've never mentioned it to anyone.
For whatever reason, I was thinking about this tonight and decided to look here to see what was up with that. I've read a bit on this, but could not find much about people experiencing pain. I was kind of surprised when I read what I quoted.