So in practical terms, please assist

[Initiate4004]

Hello to my New Community! I am thrilled wih all the extremely helpful information to be found here, among other seekers. PRACTICAL people, clearly with good hearts...I am gonna go out on a limb here and guess we all could fall under the caegory of "sinners who never gave up", people who DO love the human race and DO want to at least evolve into 4th Density STO (I love that!!!)...but for whom traditional thinking just wasn't cutting it when we saw the paucity of "humaniy" in the world around us. Would that be fair? That's the vibe I am getting.
...I am somewhat intimidated by the level of knowledge and corrolary supportive evidence most of you seasoned members bring to these threads, and have yet to learn the etiquette about what category to post in, etc...in the meantime, could you fine people assist a Young Jedi? See, here's the thing: You NAME the archetype, the "Awakening" drama, I lived it. I lived it, loved it, went ass-over teacup Kundalini weird a few years ago in order to blah de blah....I am one of those who was horrifyingly "serving the Devil" when you could never have told me in a million years I wasn't doing the right thing by the Grays who had put me into their service through abduction and implantation.
Do you know how GOOD it feels to write these words and NOT feel like a freak? God bless us all, I am so happy to have found you guys. I tell you true, my Dark Night found pretty much no resolution UNTIL I read "The Wave" series, and the Lizzie's creation of the Grays is the ONE "truth" that totally, absolutely resonated wih me. Childhood sexual abuse is the "best" (ugh) way to permanently create a Puppet, but that's a whole other story. Suffice to say that "Rock and Roll" is I think the collective with the HIGHEST percentage of Grays anywhere. they just feed and feed and feed. As an active Kundalite (my particular path involves hard-core lightbody work....I can NOT describe what it's like being in my body right now, with the axiatonal and strallim allignments being physically put in place....as we say in Yiddish, "Gevalt. My HIP!!!!") I am going through evolution in a VERY, VERY physical way, it's all I can do with my life. It takes everyhing.
Anyhow.
My question is this: How the heck am I supposed to DREAM again? To envision a world, a future, where my gifts and talents won't be pillaged and maimed and my female face ground ino the dirt be the narcissistic envy I routinely attract, by the lies and the cheating of the puppets? I do not mean to whine, assuredly I don't, especially after reading the Wave....but are we just to tra-la-la along and NEVER take a stand in our lives....because there is really no point? Am I to just sit in my apartment ascending, allowing the lightbody to integrate and say, "Fuck music" or "fuck performance" because these things are transient and 3D energetics to "get famous" (NEVER my driving force or desire) don't work anymore?
New friends, I reach out to you in joy and safety, I am NOT complaining; I am an active, happy lightworker KEENLY grateful for Laura's amazing work, I am no hermit, I am not bitter...but do you guys know what I mean when I say in the final tally I need some help finding my joy again. When I write that, I mean that I AM full of the good...heh..."good" stuff necessary to be a 4D STO candidate and all, but it seems I just trip from day to day, not knowing what happened to the former pleasure I got from singing, laughing, etc...I still laugh but...oh, dang it.
How do I hang onto my dreams? Am I supposed to?

 

[anart]

How do I hang onto my dreams?

Why would you 'want' to? The point, here, is to wake up - not to hang on to dreaming.

I am an active, happy lightworker

What does this mean? What IS a 'lightworker' - I mean, really?

 

[webglider]

Initiate Wrote:


...but it seems I just trip from day to day, not knowing what happened to the former pleasure

I got from singing, laughing, etc...I still laugh but...oh, dang it.
Do I just focus on raising my frequency because people like us ge martyred anyway? Is that what awaits us, because the Wave as I understand it says, "move away from 3d as much as possible", but...oh help."

Hi Initiate.

I'm relatively new on this website as well, but I do have some responses to your questions. If I'm wrong about this I'd appreciate if someone with more experience could correct me.

If your concern is raising your frequency only to serve yourself because "people like us get
martyred anyway," you may be on the wrong track. I suggest that you look at the feelings that support such a conclusion. If the statement is based on fear your frequency would be lowered by default because fear feeds STS beings. In other words, your anticipation of martyrdom and the terror that may elicit may be just the tasty snack that some nasty little STS entity is searching for!

Laughter, as I understand it, and joy grounded in understanding is one of the ways to raise one's vibration.

Knowledge leading to discernment based on information gathered through hard work raises one frequency. Sharing this knowledge in an appropriate way at an appropriate time with an appropriate audience is a way to increase the fruits of your own work exponentially.

This of course requires a much courage, wisdom, and self awareness. As I understand it,
these qualities increase with the the integrity of the person and the quality of the work that he/she produces.

Ever since I found this site, I've been meditating on the cautionary words the C's gave to Laura: "Wisdom protects, Ignorance Endangers."

Knowing when to remain silent is key to evading martyrdom.

Good luck.

 

[Ruth]

...I am somewhat intimidated by the level of knowledge and corrolary supportive evidence most of you seasoned members bring to these threads,

You need to stop being intimidated, because it doesn't serve you.... I mean, if the 'good' people of the world intimidate you.... imagine what the 'bad' can do? Can't see a use for it, myself. :)

Childhood sexual abuse is the "best" (ugh) way to permanently create a Puppet, but that's a whole other story. Suffice to say that "Rock and Roll" is I think the collective with the HIGHEST percentage of Grays anywhere.

Its not limited to that, either... there are lots of ways to create "Puppets" or manipulate people into doing what 4D STS wants. The biggest challenge that any of us face if is actually 'facing' what was done to us and then healing it (if we can). Lots of us have physical and mental side effects of STS manipulation. Good luck with the healing part of that.

 

[Renaissance]

See, here's the thing: You NAME the archetype, the "Awakening" drama, I lived it. I lived it, loved it, went -arse--over teacup Kundalini weird a few years ago in order to blah de blah....I am one of those who was horrifyingly "serving the Devil" when you could never have told me in a million years I wasn't doing the right thing by the Grays who had put me into their service through abduction and implantation.

I don't really understand what you're saying here, particularly the part in italics. Using 'blah de blah' as a description makes it confusing. Are you saying that through your Kundalini 'awakening' you we're able to stop 'serving the devil'?

It seems at least that you see 'awakening the kundalini' as something beneficial; it may actually cause more problems. Here's what Gurdjieff said about kundalini:

"In so-called 'occult' literature you have probably met with the expression 'Kundalini,' 'the fire of Kundalini,' or the 'serpent of Kundalini.' This expression is often used to designate some kind of strange force which is present in man and which can be awakened. But none of the known theories gives the right explanation of the force of Kundalini. Sometimes it is connected with sex, with sex energy, that is with the idea of the possibility of using sex energy for other purposes. This latter is entirely wrong because Kundalini can be in anything. And above all, Kundalini is not anything desirable or useful for man's development. It is very curious how these occultists have got hold of the word from somewhere but have completely altered its meaning and from a very dangerous and terrible thing have made something to be hoped for and to be awaited as some blessing. In reality Kundalini is the power of imagination, the power of fantasy, which takes the place of a real function. When a man dreams instead of acting, when his dreams take the place of reality, when a man imagines himself to be an eagle, a lion, or a magician, it is the force of Kundalini acting in him. Kundalini can act in all centers and with its help all the centers can be satisfied with the imaginary instead of the real. A sheep which considers itself a lion or a magician lives under the power of Kundalini. "Kundalini is a force put into men in order to keep them in their present state. If men could really see their true position and could understand all the horror of it, they would be unable to remain where they are even for one second. They would begin to seek a way out and they would quickly find it, because there is a way out; but men fail to see it simply because they are hypnotized. Kundalini is the force that keeps them in a hypnotic state. 'To awaken' for man means to be 'dehypnotized.' In this lies the chief difficulty and in this also lies the guarantee of its possibility, for there is no organic reason for sleep and man can awaken. "Theoretically he can, but practically it is almost impossible because as soon as a man awakens for a moment and opens his eyes, all the forces that caused him to fall asleep begin to act upon him with tenfold energy and he immediately falls asleep again, very often dreaming that he is awake or is awakening. "There are certain states in ordinary sleep in which a man wants to awaken but cannot. He tells himself that he is awake but, in reality, he continues to sleep-and this can happen several times before he finally awakes. But in ordinary sleep, once he is awake, he is in a different state; in hypnotic sleep the case is otherwise; there are no objective characteristics, at any rate not at the beginning of awakening; a man cannot pinch himself in order to make sure that he is not asleep. And if, which God forbid, a man has heard anything about objective characteristics, Kundalini at once transforms it all into imagination and dreams".

So, the desire to dream itself may come from kundalini and as Anart said, efforts here are to wake up.

You can read some analysis of the kundabuffer in this thread.

 

[mada85]

Initiate4004, the impression I get when reading your post is of a person who has found some information that validates many of her experiences, but is now wishing to assimilate all the new information, and return to the safety of being a 'lightworker' filled with love and joy. The information presented on this forum and in Laura's work does not, imho, automatically bring about states of love and joy. Quite the opposite, I would suggest - more questions, more uncertainty, and the shock of seeing 'the true horror of the situation'.

So, the question is, which path will you take? Back to the safety of new age love and light, or onward, armed with new knowledge, into the unknown? Love and light will look like joy and safety, but, in my experience, it is just a lullaby to send you back to sleep. Moving into the unkown is scary - terrifying even, when our illusions and dreams are stripped away - but if you really want to become an STO candidate, it is the only way.

 

[Initiate4004]

"The information presented on this forum and in Laura's work does not, imho, automatically bring about states of love and joy. Quite the opposite, I would suggest - more questions, more uncertainty, and the shock of seeing 'the true horror of the situation'."

Sorry, I have yet to master "quote" LOL
I took the liberty of editing part of my original post; I do NOT resonate to that kind of fearful thinking, and regret giving that impression; and thank you all for your assistance. What I have found is that in the weeks since discovering Laura's work, I HAVE BECOME HAPPIER (as in, "Phew!") simply because everything makes SENSE now. I don't feel doomed or like anything is "out of order" the way I used to, I understand even more clearly the sometimes subtle distinctions between STS and STO; and all I meant by being "intimidated" is that you folk have had lots more time to absorb all of this, it is all new to me. I really am grateful for your guidance, you can imagine back to when y'all first took baby steps into the truth with a capital "T"...and you were correct; silence is GOLDEN. If nothing else (and there are myriad benefits to "waking up", I get that TOO now...ykes my head reels LOL) I appreciate how very personal everyone's journey is at heart. Thanks for your help, as another poster mentioned, I just have SO MUCH to integrate, so many experiences to put into proper context.
...and I went "blah de blah" because even in the foothills of all this, I am questioning what it all means in light of the truth. Be well.

 

[Initiate4004]

Oh gosh...that snippet re Kundalini? THANK YOU, I just read it again. There is no question in my mind of one thing, that I am consciously incarnating, and it can be heck on the body; I am indeed being retooled but all I really want now is to conscientiously earn STO candidate status however I may gradually. What is happening to my body is no lie, it's no trick, but I have a different context now. Thanks.