Some advice or help if you have the time

[Kreu]

Hi everyone,
I have a problem I think I need some help figuring out, if it’s possible.
I’ve hesitated to write because I don’t want to create noise and I know everyone has important things to do but I’m worried sick, and I’d be grateful for someone to maybe point me in the right direction or give me some advice if they’ve been in the same situation.
My problem is that my boyfriend and I are right in the middle of a life changing moment that can turn out either really bad or really good depending on the outcome; weather he gets a job he’s been applying to for quite a while now, or not. If he does, we will be fine but if he doesn’t we won’t be able to pay rent and keep our apartment and I really don’t know what we’ll do. My paycheck is not enough and he had been searching for other jobs for ages but there’s nothing in the town we live in.
I instinctively find myself praying to the DCM for help but my greatest fear is that somehow this will muddle things up., and by that I mean I know that wishful thinking is the worst thing to do, so I force myself to not even think about how much of a relief it would be if things worked out (a relief is an understatement) but I’m afraid that by praying for help I’m somehow sending out wishful thinking without meaning to, it’s come to the point where I don’t even know how to formulate myself when I pray because I’m afraid to mess things up (I hope this doesn’t sound too silly…).
I guess my question is; should I keep praying in an open, “come what may” sort of way which I try to do or should I just leave it alone?
Let the universe sort it out like it always does, or is it possible to lean the odds of him getting the job if I pray (this is where it starts feeling like wishful thinking to me which makes me uncomfortable)?
Or since this is his job to get/not get, should I talk to him about the benefits of praying to the DCM (he’s not so invested with the things we learn here and I don’t want to get in the way of his free will.) Or am I taking this all to literally/seriously (it’s pretty serious to me/us)?
I’m sorry, I hope I don’t sound like a rambling mess but I’m very confused at the moment and would be very thankful for some advice if anyone has the time to give it.

Thank you.

 

[Explorer]

Hi everyone,
I have a problem I think I need some help figuring out, if it’s possible.
I’ve hesitated to write because I don’t want to create noise and I know everyone has important things to do but I’m worried sick, and I’d be grateful for someone to maybe point me in the right direction or give me some advice if they’ve been in the same situation.
My problem is that my boyfriend and I are right in the middle of a life changing moment that can turn out either really bad or really good depending on the outcome; weather he gets a job he’s been applying to for quite a while now, or not. If he does, we will be fine but if he doesn’t we won’t be able to pay rent and keep our apartment and I really don’t know what we’ll do. My paycheck is not enough and he had been searching for other jobs for ages but there’s nothing in the town we live in.
I instinctively find myself praying to the DCM for help but my greatest fear is that somehow this will muddle things up., and by that I mean I know that wishful thinking is the worst thing to do, so I force myself to not even think about how much of a relief it would be if things worked out (a relief is an understatement) but I’m afraid that by praying for help I’m somehow sending out wishful thinking without meaning to, it’s come to the point where I don’t even know how to formulate myself when I pray because I’m afraid to mess things up (I hope this doesn’t sound too silly…).
I guess my question is; should I keep praying in an open, “come what may” sort of way which I try to do or should I just leave it alone?
Let the universe sort it out like it always does, or is it possible to lean the odds of him getting the job if I pray (this is where it starts feeling like wishful thinking to me which makes me uncomfortable)?
Or since this is his job to get/not get, should I talk to him about the benefits of praying to the DCM (he’s not so invested with the things we learn here and I don’t want to get in the way of his free will.) Or am I taking this all to literally/seriously (it’s pretty serious to me/us)?
I’m sorry, I hope I don’t sound like a rambling mess but I’m very confused at the moment and would be very thankful for some advice if anyone has the time to give it.

Thank you.

I think you might be over-thinking the act of prayer a little. You're asking for help in an open way, which doesn't really sound like wishful thinking to me. However, I wouldn't invest all of your hopes in the action of a higher power, because that would be wishful thinking.

Have you looked into the EE breathing program developed by Laura in order to help relieve stress? It sounds like you could do with it.

 

[Kreu]

yes, thank you, I too feel that I have invested a bit too much into this but I wasn't quite sure. I do EE and find it very beneficial, and when this whole problem becomes too much I do the breathing excercises to calm me down.
Thank you for your reply :)

 

[Carl]

Hi everyone,
I have a problem I think I need some help figuring out, if it’s possible.
I’ve hesitated to write because I don’t want to create noise and I know everyone has important things to do but I’m worried sick, and I’d be grateful for someone to maybe point me in the right direction or give me some advice if they’ve been in the same situation.
My problem is that my boyfriend and I are right in the middle of a life changing moment that can turn out either really bad or really good depending on the outcome; weather he gets a job he’s been applying to for quite a while now, or not. If he does, we will be fine but if he doesn’t we won’t be able to pay rent and keep our apartment and I really don’t know what we’ll do. My paycheck is not enough and he had been searching for other jobs for ages but there’s nothing in the town we live in.
I instinctively find myself praying to the DCM for help but my greatest fear is that somehow this will muddle things up., and by that I mean I know that wishful thinking is the worst thing to do, so I force myself to not even think about how much of a relief it would be if things worked out (a relief is an understatement) but I’m afraid that by praying for help I’m somehow sending out wishful thinking without meaning to, it’s come to the point where I don’t even know how to formulate myself when I pray because I’m afraid to mess things up (I hope this doesn’t sound too silly…).
I guess my question is; should I keep praying in an open, “come what may” sort of way which I try to do or should I just leave it alone?
Let the universe sort it out like it always does, or is it possible to lean the odds of him getting the job if I pray (this is where it starts feeling like wishful thinking to me which makes me uncomfortable)?
Or since this is his job to get/not get, should I talk to him about the benefits of praying to the DCM (he’s not so invested with the things we learn here and I don’t want to get in the way of his free will.) Or am I taking this all to literally/seriously (it’s pretty serious to me/us)?
I’m sorry, I hope I don’t sound like a rambling mess but I’m very confused at the moment and would be very thankful for some advice if anyone has the time to give it.

Thank you.

First of all, I would prepare for the worst in whatever ways you have available to you, but don't get caught in the worry trap. When you pray sincerely, you always tend t get what you need in the end, but it is never like you'd expect. These days I just pray for my lessons to speed up or slow down, depending on what I'm dealing with, and it always tends to work in it's own way.


I don't think "Let the Universe sort it out" is always such a good attitude to take, as we are meant to be learning to develop our own will. I take a view more along the lines of that we dance with the universe, and it usually leads the steps, but we have to keep our eyes and ears open in order to interact with it. Focus too much on a goal and you get tunnel vision, too little and you begin to drift.


I wouldn't bother trying to push the idea of praying on him, just stay open and be prepared for whatever you may have to face. It's hard to see beyond a difficult situation that we're currently in, and the EE program will help with this. You might also want to check out the Splitting thread, it contains a lot of information applicable to difficult life situations such as this.

 

[aaronfransen]

I hate to be a cliche and quote the Terminator movies, but they had a phrase they used in them: "No fate but what we make". I think it's appropriate.

That said, I know what it's like to be in your situation, and it really does suck. For myself there are times when I find I'm not nearly far enough along "the path" as I thought, and my wife's support has been a life saver. When everything else went to hell, at least she was there for me, and it made a difference.

Prayer is probably the wrong word, but it's safe to say I'm wishing you the best!

 

[mcb]

... I guess my question is; should I keep praying in an open, “come what may” sort of way which I try to do or should I just leave it alone?...

Hi Kreu,

I don't know the answer to your question, but just thinking about these matters could possibly show you a few things about yourself. Other questions that occur to me are

• Is your background such that you have been told that you should or should not pray? If so, is your concern now related to that?
• Why would you think that praying would "muddle things up?" Did it in the past?
• How do you feel about your request -- where does it seem, to you, to fit within the range of "Service to Self" and "Service to Others"?

 

[Kreu]

... I guess my question is; should I keep praying in an open, “come what may” sort of way which I try to do or should I just leave it alone?...

Hi Kreu,

I don't know the answer to your question, but just thinking about these matters could possibly show you a few things about yourself. Other questions that occur to me are

• Is your background such that you have been told that you should or should not pray? If so, is your concern now related to that?
• Why would you think that praying would "muddle things up?" Did it in the past?
• How do you feel about your request -- where does it seem, to you, to fit within the range of "Service to Self" and "Service to Others"?

Hi Megan, I'll try to answer you questions to the best of my ability,
My backround is not religeous, religion or praying was never discussed in our family but I have always prayed to the universe, although when I was younger I would call that "god" (although not any organised religion's god in my mind). My concern is more after reading about what the C's and all the reaserch have to say about praying is that it acutally "works", which wasn't something I was totally convinced of before. And I do believe it works, although I am open to the idea that my understanding of HOW it works may be flawing.
When I say "muddle things up" I'm just expressing my fear of somehow leaking wishful thinking into my prayers, and this shows I have a lot more to learn on the subject, which is what I am doing right now (I have some threads open on th subject and am trying to go through them as thouroghly as possible.
When it comes to my request, I always hope that I'm not actively being STS, but I'm in quite a bit of emotional turmoil right now (time to do some breathing again I think) so i really can't see straight. I don't want to sound too hysterical and I'm sorry if I have. I need to think upon the replies I have gotten and I need to remember that what happens happens.

Thank you all for your replies, they have been very helpful!

 

[aragorn]

Hi Kreu, it sounds to me like you're on the right track. Just make sure that you listen to your body and mind, that you don't overdo things and thus burn you out.

Having an open mind and non-anticipation while doing the EE-meditation has sorted many unclear and insecure situations in my life. Is your boyfriend doing EE, too? It might give him some relief in his stressful situation. However, I would try to avoid thinking that the EE-meditation is something that will "fix things". I see EE more as something that "cleans up our machines", purging trauma and enhancing our body and brain, so that we can have knowledge, being, and awareness to make better choices in life. And on some level I think that once we are more "in tune" with the universe - also by increasing our knowledge by reading (I notice that you've mentioned reading the Wave and other important books,) and interacting, and following a healthy diet - the universe will present us with unexpected opportunities and choices (at least that is my experience). And when tuned in, we have a chance to recognize these opportunities, and make the right choice and act accordingly.

 

[Kreu]

Hi Kreu, it sounds to me like you're on the right track. Just make sure that you listen to your body and mind, that you don't overdo things and thus burn you out.

Having an open mind and non-anticipation while doing the EE-meditation has sorted many unclear and insecure situations in my life. Is your boyfriend doing EE, too? It might give him some relief in his stressful situation. However, I would try to avoid thinking that the EE-meditation is something that will "fix things". I see EE more as something that "cleans up our machines", purging trauma and enhancing our body and brain, so that we can have knowledge, being, and awareness to make better choices in life. And on some level I think that once we are more "in tune" with the universe - also by increasing our knowledge by reading (I notice that you've mentioned reading the Wave and other important books,) and interacting, and following a healthy diet - the universe will present us with unexpected opportunities and choices (at least that is my experience). And when tuned in, we have a chance to recognize these opportunities, and make the right choice and act accordingly.

Thank you Aragorn, everything you say rings very true.
I try not to think that EE will fix things, I just know that it loosens the tight knot in my stomach that I have had constantly now because of this dilemma. I will definitely try to "dance with the universe" and remember that whatever comes my way is a lesson and a learning opportunity.
It's just so darn scary not knowing where you're going to live or what to do! (If worst comes to worst.)
But everyone's answers have been extremely helpful, I feel much better and will comtinue to learn and prey with an open heart and mind.
Thank you :)

 

[Chu]

Another useful exercise would be to write down what the "ideal scenario" would be, but trying to remain as open as possible. For example, what is really important to you? Does your boyfriend HAVE to get that particular job, and only that one? Then, you might find that there are ways in which you are willing to compromise, and some others that are far more important and you want to really stick to.

Then, you can both work on the (realistic) steps that need to be taken. Searching for other jobs with less requirements, or doing something else temporarily even if it's not "ideal", moving to another town, or whatever, so that other doors can open, etc. That kind of thing. Then, what you each can do to support each other in the process. You can even have a plan A, B and C, to be ready for the worst, hope for (and work toward) the best, and take what comes.

I've found that writing this down, and specially the steps, and following them, gave me back a sense of control, at a time when I felt I had none, and also, it taught me to take some responsibility and become an actor of what I wanted, instead of regretting what wasn't happening "now", or leaving it all up to the DCM. Meditating can help immensely, of course, but I would say that that meditation should be geared toward a better understanding (the expansion of knowledge), finding answers as to what is blocking you, and then, finding the strength to do something about it. And not so much about a specific outcome, because then you might be blocking other possible futures.

I hope it helps.

 

[Kreu]

Another useful exercise would be to write down what the "ideal scenario" would be, but trying to remain as open as possible. For example, what is really important to you? Does your boyfriend HAVE to get that particular job, and only that one? Then, you might find that there are ways in which you are willing to compromise, and some others that are far more important and you want to really stick to.

Then, you can both work on the (realistic) steps that need to be taken. Searching for other jobs with less requirements, or doing something else temporarily even if it's not "ideal", moving to another town, or whatever, so that other doors can open, etc. That kind of thing. Then, what you each can do to support each other in the process. You can even have a plan A, B and C, to be ready for the worst, hope for (and work toward) the best, and take what comes.

I've found that writing this down, and specially the steps, and following them, gave me back a sense of control, at a time when I felt I had none, and also, it taught me to take some responsibility and become an actor of what I wanted, instead of regretting what wasn't happening "now", or leaving it all up to the DCM. Meditating can help immensely, of course, but I would say that that meditation should be geared toward a better understanding (the expansion of knowledge), finding answers as to what is blocking you, and then, finding the strength to do something about it. And not so much about a specific outcome, because then you might be blocking other possible futures.

I hope it helps.

This is immensely helpful, I'm going to sit down with my bf tonight and write down a plan. I felt like I was drowning there for a while and now I feel like this might work out if we work together (my bf and I) to make the best out of a bad situation. We have discussed other ways to solve this but without money this day and age everything is just blocked. But somehow we'll pull through!
I'm not going to leave it up all to the DCM but hopefully work with it and try to remember that it's all the way it should be.

Sincerely, thank you all for your kind words and insight.

 

[Keit]

This is immensely helpful, I'm going to sit down with my bf tonight and write down a plan. I felt like I was drowning there for a while and now I feel like this might work out if we work together (my bf and I) to make the best out of a bad situation. We have discussed other ways to solve this but without money this day and age everything is just blocked. But somehow we'll pull through!
I'm not going to leave it up all to the DCM but hopefully work with it and try to remember that it's all the way it should be.

Sincerely, thank you all for your kind words and insight.

Working on a plan is a great idea! Personally, I love making lists, plans, thinking about scenarios, possible outcomes, etc. because it helps to lessen the anxiety, and helps to add some known elements to the otherwise scary unknown. :)

As for praying and working with DCM, first a joke. You probably know it already, but here is a reminder: ;)

John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray. ''Listen God,'' John said. ''I know I haven't been perfect but I really need to win the lottery. I don't have a lot of money. Please help me out.'' He left the church, a week went by, and he hadn't won the lottery, so he walked into a synagogue. ''Come on, God,'' he said. ''I really need this money. My mom needs surgery and I have bills to pay. Please let me win the lottery.'' He left the synagogue, a week went by, and he didn't win the lottery. So, he went to a mosque and started to pray again. ''You're starting to disappoint me, God,'' he said. ''I've prayed and prayed. If you just let me win the lottery, I'll be a better person. I don't have to win the jackpot, just enough to get me out of debt. I'll give some to charity, even. Just let me win the lottery.'' John thought this did it, so he got up and walked outside. The clouds opened up and a booming voice said, ''John, buy a damn lottery ticket.''

Please don't misunderstand, I am not saying that you are demanding anything from DCM in any way, just try to add some humor to the difficult situation and show that in order for things to work out, perhaps it would be a great idea to show DCM that you and your bf do the best you can with what you have available, no matter if it isn't much. Approaching any situation with an open mind and creativity should generate some interesting ideas.

So good luck to you!

 

[Aya]

You have received great advises so there is not much to add, but I decided to share my thoughts on your situation.

When I first read your post, I felt your anxiety. From my experience, when we are in fear or worry, we end up spending our energy negatively by wasting it by unnecessary imaginations or doing unproductive things. In stead of thinking too much about the outcome, it will probably help you to focus on what you can do now as others have mentioned; supporting your boyfriend, looking for cheaper alternative apartment, finding a temporary job, or talking to a landlord if he can give you an exception this month to extend the rent payment due etc. If you are too desperate, your boyfriend will pick up on the vibe and he can become apprehensive, too. And that is not the healthy situation to be in for both of you.

It's just so darn scary not knowing where you're going to live or what to do! (If worst comes to worst.)

I have been there before, and I understand how difficult to be in a situation that can be threatening to your life. But sometimes we need to face the fact that the course our lives can change and we need to prepare for it. As long as there is a path to follow, we will find the way to overcome such a troublesome situation. Perhaps, you are learning an important lesson in your life. You need to have a faith in you a little bit more, and if you act with your faith to overcome what is in front of you, the DCM will put you into the right place. "All there is, is lessons." We are here for you.

 

[Kreu]

He got the job!!!
I just want to say thank you for your soothing words and helpful advice, this experience has been a real growing lesson for me and I probably would have handled it in a much poorer fashion without your help.
It also showed me and my boyfriend that we can overcome hardships if we put our minds together and work on trying to find the best possible outcome in a tough situation.
Now back to learning and growing, I just wanted to share our good news!
:D

 

[Lisa Guliani]

That's great news, Kreu.. I'm so happy for you and your bf.
Congratulations to you both and I wish you the best of luck for your future together....