Hello all.
I have been thinking about networking this issue for a while now.
I have been a long time reader of Laura’s work. I also have had the opportunity to join the FOTCM. I was also part of the private group when it was first formed years ago. I also had the opportunity to participate in face to face meetups and met some long time members.
I won’t get into the details too much but long story short, due to lack of my aim with the core group it was decided at that point that perhaps it is best that I am not fit for the private group.
There was more than just lack of aim on my part. I was also ignorant of the severity of several programs that I was oh so blind to.
Of course at the time I didn’t understand what was going on so I was angary and confused. In the long run though, I think that was one of the kindest and probably also a difficult decision to have been made in my regards. It really was the shock that started my current journey that I feel is coming to a close, as I am about to start another. More on that later.
Speaking of anger, boy was I an angry person.
Looking back wow, the kindness I was treated with was amazing.
I can see how much energy went in trying to bring to my attention the glaring problems I was displaying.
To those of you who tried, you know who you are, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Please accept my apologies for my stubborn nature.
Let’s discuss the programs that have been with me most of my life that directly affected me from being a productive member of the FOTCM. I mention this because before my departure from the private group, there was several failed attempts at getting me involved more with the group.
My major programs first.
One of the big ones for me has always been my need for validation. Due to my upbringing I have a major problem with this program. For me it took moving to Mexico and teaching in a high school for 4 years, to enlighten me to my “hunger”.
Ah… kids can teach you so much.
What worked for me is I learned to discipline myself to remember that every idea and decision I have can be tainted by my unbalanced desire for validation. Over time I learned to recognize when the “hunger” was the most active and deny it nourishment.
It’s not easy realizing you are a phony, doing things all for the wrong reasons. Simply that’s why so many of my attempts at “helping” out, fell flat on its face.
As I already mentioned, another big one for me is my anger. Again due to upbringing and being abused while growing up. At first I just wanted to shut down that part of me or imprison that aspect of my mind. I learned through time though that the key is not to get rid of anything but to tame the “beast”, and utilize its energy. The important part is to accept and feel the anger as an internal red alert to a situation in your life that might be very important. If done right, inside you may have tremendous heat that you can use to achieve so many things. All the while no one outside of you has any idea you are transmuting this energy. In other words, you do not engage in unruly, abusive or passive aggressive behavior towards others because you are “blind” with anger. I don’t know if I’m making sense.
Another major one for me is my stubbornness. Meaning too much. I believe for me this imbalance has been because of a combo of cultural programing (Persian pride) and again upbringing in general. As with other imbalances one must learn to utilize its energy and in doing so bring balance. As a positive way one can utilize stubbornness is obviously inventing or repairing things. Where constant failure can take its toll, stubbornness can help persevere till success.
I guess one of the big lessons for me has been the importance of balance in everything that we do, we engage in, and in ourselves. Example being, we have all learned being unhealthy is just a state of imbalance.
Another lesson for me is also that my programs can and will be amplified if not constantly monitored and communicated with through a network of objective individuals. Sure I post here and there but not enough when it counted. To my knowledge this amplification happens as we are increasing our vibrational frequency. I guess what we call the general law. It wants to bring imbalance. That’s why once you truly start on this “journey” there really isn’t going back, so one must come to really internalize this ramification.
Ok so in the spirit of networking and now that I’m done with the general background info, I will get to my point.
My dream has always been to own land and be as independent from the current system to as much as practically possible. 15 years ago when I was living in Canada I did attempt that very thing. But basically I did everything “wrong” that can be possibly done. I also did not network in the way I needed to, to really be able to achieve something. Also a major problem was my father’s involvement in securing the loan for the mortgage. At the time I could not do it without his help. Let’s just say I learned many difficult lessons. My Father is a good hard working man. But like everyone he has programs. So at the time I was not getting along with my parents.
Funny thing is once I set healthy boundaries with them our relationship has improved dramatically as I talk to my mom every Sunday. I have also come to really accept them for who they are.
Could also be the fact that I live two countries away now!
Ok fast forward to now, life after Covid Idiocracy. I have been let go of my teaching job as the school has been hit hard financially. I actually think it’s a good thing because I couldn’t teach in the new child abusive Covid system. I have also managed to save up a little and some investments I have has matured. So I am nervous about leaving it in the current financial system and want to take it out and invest it into hard assets, i.e. land.
My plan is to buy 50 acres of farmland in a mountainous area of the region of Mexico I am living in. I also want to buy it under a nonprofit LLC. I plan to invest in infrastructure and turn the land into an agroecology school for the area.
Although I am happy and excited there is a part of me that wanted to network about this before I go ahead with my plan. You see I’ve never been happier in my life then now. I know it seems weird. But as I read the forum and feel the hard lessons everyone is going through I can’t help but notice several things.
Mexico is one of the only countries that you can still come too without a covid test or needing to quarantine. I have established connections with people here in Mexico that can help anyone with a path to residency. (I have helped several people now) And I just happen to come into some money recently.
Obviously I know what the FOTCM is doing and aiming for. Of course I would love to try and do something in coordination with the group here. Maybe the land can be donated to the church so another working group can be established or something?
I really don’t know.
As you guys are my extended family I guess I just wanted to share what’s going on in my life in general, and get some feedback on an important life moment.
I’m not necessarily suggesting anything particular, this window might be short and I just wanted to put this information on here.
