Spirit guides and psychopaths

[iloveyoghurt]

Seems as though your ex may have been subject to bidding and entranced by it. For what it's worth.

Bidding? Not familiar with the term, but at a guess you might mean like some "energy" making him an "offer".


I will reflect more on the lesson. Thanks for the pointer/reminder. I've never really spoken to anyone much about the experience, it's was totally foreign to my normal life, and another huge turning point, in that, the trauma still remains and affects my life today as I've never really recovered. Feel like I'm ever only treading water in my life sometimes, and then wham, something else huge happens and whacks me down.

Anyhow, thanks again.

 

[truth seeker]

Seems as though your ex may have been subject to bidding and entranced by it. For what it's worth.

Bidding? Not familiar with the term, but at a guess you might mean like some "energy" making him an "offer".

The link below may help :)

http://cassiopaea.org/2010/09/14/michael-topper-on-stalking/

I will reflect more on the lesson. Thanks for the pointer/reminder. I've never really spoken to anyone much about the experience, it's was totally foreign to my normal life, and another huge turning point, in that, the trauma still remains and affects my life today as I've never really recovered. Feel like I'm ever only treading water in my life sometimes, and then wham, something else huge happens and whacks me down.

Anyhow, thanks again.

Yeah, it can be really difficult and overwhelming when when this happens. Although easier said than done, try to keep in mind that our lives are constantly trying to teach us something - it's a reflection of who we are. If you feel stuck, please don't hesitate to talk about it here so that you can get to the bottom of it and start to put it behind you. To do that though, you really have to be tired of living that way and be willing to give up your suffering.

 

[iloveyoghurt]

Tired of living with my suffering? Omg, no one is more so than me. I'm so tired I'm too afraid to get back up again - and more. I'm also shattered psychically, more and more each time something happens. It's warn away my nerves.. or something. It's classic trauma and pts symptoms. I was nearly going to put myself into psychiatric care a week or so ago, because my mind is shattered, is the only way I can describe it.

I have got back up again, over and over and over, but it's getting to the point - or waaay beyond the point where I'm so warn it feels like it's becoming permanent, or, I'm going to give in because I just cannot give it the slip. I have made some enquiries before on the forum about psychic attack, because when I first began reading about it, back approximately 7 years or so ago, it really hit a nerve with me, and I wanted to discover more about this phenomena; a similar concept had occur ed to me prior to reading about it in the Cass material. However, with the enquiries I made, I was directed to dietary management. Of which I was already reading about anyhow (I think you know the thread I am talking about). I understand why diet is important mind you, but, I would still like to know about these seeming forces that are hell bent on driving me to continual nervous breakdowns. I have noticed that, the "force" seems to present through people in my life. It's like they switch, but, I recognise that it is the same "face" of the same energy that comes through them. It does my head in and I'm quite the nervous wreck. My brain just shuts down now real easy - I could be at a cafe and then cannot find my keys, or I leave the house without my wallet, but cannot cope with going back and getting it. Shattered.

I get back up but then......

It's scary. And real scary when I see it appear in my life again, just when I feel like I'm on safe ground. Zapps my confidence. And my mind.

I have come to notice that, once you are exhausted, or sick, or alone, you are a prime target, and the attacks are intensified. It's like a National Geographic program on the African Savanna, not physical though, but psychic. Once you are down, your defenses and wits are not working at optimum either, so you just sit tight, hoping it will pass you by relatively unharmed. Each time though you are a little more frayed, and I also feel like I am somehow "tagged" for another attack soon. Like my lack of defenses can be somehow sensed, by this energy.


How's that? Pretty messy stuff. I don't take drugs.

 

[truth seeker]

Tired of living with my suffering? Omg, no one is more so than me. I'm so tired I'm too afraid to get back up again - and more. I'm also shattered psychically, more and more each time something happens. It's warn away my nerves.. or something. It's classic trauma and pts symptoms. I was nearly going to put myself into psychiatric care a week or so ago, because my mind is shattered, is the only way I can describe it.

I think the key to knowing when you are truly tired, is when you are willing to do what it takes to change. Before that point comes, it can be aid that you are on some level enjoying your suffering. Basically this means that while you may not like the specifics of your circumstances, you enjoy the victim or special status it brings and with it the feeling that there's nothing to be done.

I have got back up again, over and over and over, but it's getting to the point - or waaay beyond the point where I'm so warn it feels like it's becoming permanent, or, I'm going to give in because I just cannot give it the slip. I have made some enquiries before on the forum about psychic attack, because when I first began reading about it, back approximately 7 years or so ago, it really hit a nerve with me, and I wanted to discover more about this phenomena; a similar concept had occur ed to me prior to reading about it in the Cass material. However, with the enquiries I made, I was directed to dietary management. Of which I was already reading about anyhow (I think you know the thread I am talking about). I understand why diet is important mind you, but, I would still like to know about these seeming forces that are hell bent on driving me to continual nervous breakdowns. I have noticed that, the "force" seems to present through people in my life. It's like they switch, but, I recognise that it is the same "face" of the same energy that comes through them. It does my head in and I'm quite the nervous wreck. My brain just shuts down now real easy - I could be at a cafe and then cannot find my keys, or I leave the house without my wallet, but cannot cope with going back and getting it. Shattered.

My honest opinion is that you're choosing to focus on the 'high strangeness' in order to avoid facing yourself. When you begin to face yourself, you quickly see that the responsibility for what your life looks like instead of searching for outside sources for the causes. The reason that diet was stressed to you in that thread was because quite often, many of these experiences we file under 'high strangeness' can be slowed down significantly if not completely stopped with diet. The same goes with intake of knowledge - specifically reading about narcissistic wounding. This helps us to see how we react to certain situations via hooks. This not to say that nothing is happening, but that there are other options. Why continue on in the same manner when you have seen through your own experiences that it's not working for you? Sometimes the answers we get are the ones we need, not the ones we want.

You don't have to choose to continue being a victim (or to use your example, one of the animals in the African Savanna). There are more choices available to you if you are willing to see them.

Just wondering, are you getting enough sleep?

 

[iloveyoghurt]

An honest opinion is much appreciated - thanks. Always refreshing and valuable to get honest feedback.

I get heaps of sleep, not too much though, I don't make the mistake of over sleeping.

I have just had surgery on my lungs (4 weeks ago now), tomorrow I am off to hospital to find out whether I will "require" radiation therapy.

I do feel like a victim: my ex boyfriend was physically and emotionally abusive, I've just managed to untangle myself from that one. Our mutual friend has turned against me as well, siding with the party that has more perceived power. My one last family member has just finished on the phone telling me to basically harden the heck up and took the opportunity additionally to list practically all the things he doesn't like about me. The call ending with him hanging up on me.

I think I've had more than one emotional breakdown in the last 3 months. And possibly more than that in the last two years! I am pretty much alone and I tend to drive myself crazy with worry and grief.

I believe I have pts that is never quite resolved, and gets triggered easily. I will be speaking to surgeons tomorrow about psychotherapy.

I just find it amazing that, when I need peoples support the most, they seem to gnash their teeth at me like wolves.

I tend to believe it's got something to do with that, it's too stressful for them, so they create barriers to ensure they are not inconvenienced with any burden themselves. I think it's called victimisation of the victim? It's a clinically recognised occurrence. I have wonder also if it has something to do with, some kind of animal instinct that kicks in, it's like a rejection of the perceived weaker members of the race. I believe that there is an unconscious perception there that, me, and people with various illnesses too, are genetically inferior, and they somehow have an instinct to reject such people, or genetic lineage.

I don't think I have victim tendencies, as such. It's not really my style I don't think.. but yes, I am feeling like a victim of late as I am incredibly mentally and emotionally shattered from the exhaustion of abuse and trauma.

Just to fill in the picture a bit.

I just wish for good results tomorrow, and hope that my brain can stay on track to drive there, and that I don't go into trauma easily, as what is tending to happen much lately with all this and other things.

It would be practical to take a valium for this situation, althought that comes with a big cost as far as I am concerned. Maybe a stiff drink then :)

So that's the story.

I will consider more of you post, and contemplate on what you have said.

Thanks again for the feedback.

 

[EmeraldHope]

An honest opinion is much appreciated - thanks. Always refreshing and valuable to get honest feedback.

I get heaps of sleep, not too much though, I don't make the mistake of over sleeping.

I have just had surgery on my lungs (4 weeks ago now), tomorrow I am off to hospital to find out whether I will "require" radiation therapy.

I do feel like a victim: my ex boyfriend was physically and emotionally abusive, I've just managed to untangle myself from that one. Our mutual friend has turned against me as well, siding with the party that has more perceived power. My one last family member has just finished on the phone telling me to basically harden the heck up and took the opportunity additionally to list practically all the things he doesn't like about me. The call ending with him hanging up on me.

I think I've had more than one emotional breakdown in the last 3 months. And possibly more than that in the last two years! I am pretty much alone and I tend to drive myself crazy with worry and grief.

I believe I have pts that is never quite resolved, and gets triggered easily. I will be speaking to surgeons tomorrow about psychotherapy.

I just find it amazing that, when I need peoples support the most, they seem to gnash their teeth at me like wolves.

I tend to believe it's got something to do with that, it's too stressful for them, so they create barriers to ensure they are not inconvenienced with any burden themselves. I think it's called victimisation of the victim? It's a clinically recognised occurrence. I have wonder also if it has something to do with, some kind of animal instinct that kicks in, it's like a rejection of the perceived weaker members of the race. I believe that there is an unconscious perception there that, me, and people with various illnesses too, are genetically inferior, and they somehow have an instinct to reject such people, or genetic lineage.

I don't think I have victim tendencies, as such. It's not really my style I don't think.. but yes, I am feeling like a victim of late as I am incredibly mentally and emotionally shattered from the exhaustion of abuse and trauma.

Just to fill in the picture a bit.

I just wish for good results tomorrow, and hope that my brain can stay on track to drive there, and that I don't go into trauma easily, as what is tending to happen much lately with all this and other things.

It would be practical to take a valium for this situation, althought that comes with a big cost as far as I am concerned. Maybe a stiff drink then :)

So that's the story.

I will consider more of you post, and contemplate on what you have said.

Thanks again for the feedback.

iloveyoghurt,


The diet and the ee together will help to balance some of your brain chemicals and the ee especially will help with the ptsd . I understand what you are going through, as I have been there a couple of times myself . Diet, ee and knowledge is the way out of this. I am not sure, though, that if you are having lung issues you can do ee safely, perhaps a skilled moderator can advise.

Have you read the big 5 psychology books yet? Once you get a good grip on that stuff, you can notice what is going on better and stay away from toxic people, as well as understand yourself more. I remember that you had responded to my post in the Women Who Love Psychopaths thread. The 5 books recommended here go into much greater detail than the post of the reference that I made in there, and would be very beneficial for you, I think .


You may find , with time, that there are just some members of your family and or friends that are too toxic to continue association with. Just as you identified with my reference in the other thread, it seems to me you are still trying to take responsibility of there something being wrong with YOU as to why people act the way the do. Not true. However, I am certain that you do also have traits to work on also just like many of us that have been wounded do.


We cannot force others to get better or change, but we CAN help ourselves. You are a member of the walking wounded, as Laura would say, and as such certain types of predators DO sense a weakness. You should probably also like to read all of the books on psychopathy.

 

[iloveyoghurt]

Ohh, goodness, goodness me.. thank you, thank you...

I am preparing myself for a big book purchase - there is just so many to buy, but little money here at the moment. I yearn for more info to protect and know what I'm dealing with, to lighten my blind spots.

I have read so far:
Trapped in the Mirror
The Myth of Sanity
Wolves in Sheep's clothing

I feel like I need more info, yes.

I have ceased associations with my mother and my father quite a few years back now. My stepfather has been good, generally, but there is some issues it seems, as tonight demonstrated. He is the last family member I have, he is the only one who took me, and collected me from hospital when I've had treatment or operation. But he turned tonight.

Thing is, I thought I was in the all clear. I thought I had worked it out, I thought I was on to it. Then whoosh, a domestic violence situation, seemingly from nowhere. That's the thing, it's been like Groundhog Day.

I am pretty sure that was the last one, it just caught me by suprise. I was too trusting, too naive, too hopeful. Fantasy land. I was believing there was a god that was looking after me. I was sure that it was OK, because I just couldn't imagine it turning so bad. Now I know, I really, really, know that it can happen. I just wish to understand more about it now, on an intellectual level, by reading and learning, so i can understand it and know more consciously.

I've had a lot of real cruelty around me - without sounding like a victim. Just stating the reality really. I have done nothing but care for these people. I've been utterly reasonable, but, the more reasonable I have been, the more the up the anti. It's truly bizarre because it is not logical. I empathise because I've had so much hell in my life. But these people I've been dealing with lately - my ex, and the mutual friend - seem to want me dead, and just for the pure enjoyment of .... what, I just cannot define. But it seems to be animal. It's real viciousness.

Anyhow, I have no contact with them, there was just a lapse over the weekend when there was an exchange of goods, and some texting afterwards. I've told them not to contact me.

Never, ever, again. I will be sure. I've seen it and it just ain't my thing at all. It never, ever was.


Thanks for listening. I better take a breather on this one. I'll take a step back and listen a while.

EE is fine on my lungs, I'm pretty much back to repair. But now, the journey to get back to where I was previous to the surgery: EE, yoga, running 10km and swimming 1.5km a week, and belly dancing! I just get tired of putting it all together, then it all gets wiped out, and I have to rebuild. Sorry if I am wining a bit now.

 

[EmeraldHope]

I am pretty sure that was the last one, it just caught me by suprise. I was too trusting, too naive, too hopeful. Fantasy land. I was believing there was a god that was looking after me. I was sure that it was OK, because I just couldn't imagine it turning so bad. Now I know, I really, really, know that it can happen. I just wish to understand more about it now, on an intellectual level, by reading and learning, so i can understand it and know more consciously.

I've had a lot of real cruelty around me - without sounding like a victim. Just stating the reality really. I have done nothing but care for these people. I've been utterly reasonable, but, the more reasonable I have been, the more the up the anti. It's truly bizarre because it is not logical. I empathise because I've had so much hell in my life. But these people I've been dealing with lately - my ex, and the mutual friend - seem to want me dead, and just for the pure enjoyment of .... what, I just cannot define. But it seems to be animal. It's real viciousness.

There is no one coming to save us. Expect attack .Know modes of same. Know how to counter the attack .


The illogical does not understand logical. For example, if a dog was about to bite you, do you really think talking logically to it would stop it from doing so? I had to walk away and leave it all behind me to move on, and you may find that to be the case as well at some point .


I do I understand very well where you are coming from.I grew up in an environment very similar to that of which you speak. I have a ninth grade education and a GED. My saving grace is that I have always been a very big reader. I bootstrapped myself out of that town , and ended up working on Wall Street ( not that I am proud of that at this point , lol). Intuition and will were my only tickets . That being said, in participating in this forum it has made me keenly aware of how not intellectual and how uneducated I am, lol . But, I make progress every day and so can you. Sometimes I may have to read something a few times. So be it. To follow some discussions I have had to go and read tons of books on politics, philosophy, and now religion . But that is ok too. I consider this to be the best University in the world. I often think people cannot imagine what growing up below middle class is really like from a violence and stupidity standpoint. You were smart enough to find your way here- now just keep on going. Do not let them hold you back or make you weaker. I know it is hard, but it can be done. :)

 

[iloveyoghurt]

Thank you so much for your communications.

Yes, I will re-explain: I had put a framework around my experiences that said something like: I have had bad luck for the last 10 years, and now it has finally turned around. I've had so very much, it was the way I chose to reference and make sense of the events, by putting it down to bad luck, thinking that the wheel had simply turned. Not a literal god. I had considered myself quite well read too; I've done quite an amount of work on myself, so, I was thinking it had finally "paid off", and I had reached a clear ground of healing and healthy relationships. I have a new awareness now!

Just an update: I've come from the hospital now and I am cancer free. Hear that - CANCER FREE..

It will take a while for it to sink in (it's the 3rd time I have heard this good news in my life, I have had 2.5 cancers, this one is benign - omg), there was a chance I would need radiation therapy, but this has turned out not to be the case.

I would like to say that, it's amazing how the mind can worry so very much, it's been to such a point that I have had difficulty planning just minor things in my life, such as eating, or showering. The brain gets overwhelmed with chemicals, then the body's physiology follows and takes over. Then this affects everything - relationships, ability to work, sometimes even to think.

Returning to the topic of this thread, it's at these times one is, I have suspected, open to psychic attack, or, spirit cling-ons. I am only supposing this of course, but it really does seem that this is the case at the time. Something too about being in such a state, I feel much more aware of these undercurrents - it's like I can sense it, somehow I am at a heightened awareness psychically.

I will take time to digest all your words. I cannot wait to get back to normal living, after a good rest this week.

Thank you, I hope my thoughts can be of use to others who may stumble across my experience here.

 

[Mountain Crown]

Just an update: I've come from the hospital now and I am cancer free. Hear that - CANCER FREE.

That's good news, iloveyoghurt.

 

[EmeraldHope]

Just an update: I've come from the hospital now and I am cancer free. Hear that - CANCER FREE..

Returning to the topic of this thread, it's at these times one is, I have suspected, open to psychic attack, or, spirit cling-ons. I am only supposing this of course, but it really does seem that this is the case at the time. Something too about being in such a state, I feel much more aware of these undercurrents - it's like I can sense it, somehow I am at a heightened awareness psychically.

I am thrilled to hear that you are cancer free! What wonderful news.


As far as the psychic attack goes, what I was trying to say, and I think others as well, is that until we get our body chemistry under control and plug up our holes in our knowledge base, there is no way to know. Using the scientific method to rule things out first would give a much better idea of what is going on there. As Laura says, we are quantum, chemical, biological beings, in that order. So, getting the chemicals under control is a big area to address first. Also, really understanding the material here may address some of your blind spots that may seem like attacks now, but may have their roots in other areas. I noticed that you said that you could not buy the Vegetarian Myth yet Laura has it if you will pm her, and pay when you can and write a review for the author . She has made that offer several times, and I am guessing it still stands That may really help since I see that you have very recently been a vegetarian.


From my current understanding, the attachments are very common and normal and they will release as your FRV increases, if I understand correctly

 

[truth seeker]

First of all, congratulations!

My stepfather has been good, generally, but there is some issues it seems, as tonight demonstrated. He is the last family member I have, he is the only one who took me, and collected me from hospital when I've had treatment or operation. But he turned tonight.

My one last family member has just finished on the phone telling me to basically harden the heck up and took the opportunity additionally to list practically all the things he doesn't like about me. The call ending with him hanging up on me.

Is it possible for you to elaborate a bit more on this? It seems that this person was supportive of you initially, I'm not sure I understand why they would turn on you suddenly?

 

[cassandra]

Congratulations!!! I am really pleased you won the battle over cancer. I hope you celebrate.

 

[iloveyoghurt]

Thank you all so very much! Every single one of you. It's a rather surreal journey, and to think of myself cancer-free is a new skin I am happy to get used to.

Yes, I would really like to get onto The Vegetarian Myth - as well as all the other books. I just love to get my head into hardcore subjects that challenge and educate, it's my favourite reading. I will seek Laura's offer.

To your question Truth Seeker, he has been incredibly supportive overall. we were on the phone and I was pretty much broken down - bawling etc, expressing my worry about radiation, my emotional exhaustion, and how I was feeling troubled and lacking in confidence if radiation therapy was to be recommended. I was expressing that I just don't think I could go through it all again (been there before, with chemotherapy too). I was ptsd, and, last night I was really considering psychiatric care, as well as suicide - very messy.

It turned when I was saying, I feel like I have to almost beg people to take me to hospital for these things and it's too much for me, there was a vague accusation there, but I was simply stating the feelings, and perceptions that I was struggling with. He took this (I guess) as an absolute accusation, saying, I'm taking you so what is your problem. He was aggressive and swearing, I think had been drinking. Then there was words about that I am expressing my feelings and I have a right surely to do so, and that it's not meant to be a direct accusation (my issue was around abandonment pretty much, as my family have never taken me to such things), he indicated that he would withdraw his support also, if I was going to be negative. He then began giving me feedback on my character ;)

This is all fine, we, as people, don't communicate always perfectly, however the poignant point I found curious and confusing was why now, why was he choosing now - the day prior to such an important meeting, and when I was so very messy - to assess my character, get aggressive and hang up on me.

Anyhow, it's all sorted now. He did take me to hospital. Funny thing, I am so relieved that I am ok, so as I don't have to rely on people for such things. It can be plain horrible to feel like you are imposing and putting people into an uncomfortable disposition - hell, I know how uncomfortable it is! What I believe I see sometimes is that, the emotions, the worry, the intensity, is too much for them too. They become uncomfortable, stressed and they feel my panic, then they are defensive, and, as I am the perceives source, they turn on me, in an effort to push away the stress I am giving off.

I see more clearly today that, it is normal, imperfect human dynamics. However, when one is in shock and trauma, the perceptions are quite different - it gets rather foggy and frankly, scary. To have that support possibly withdrawn is frightening, or threatened to be withdrawn even more so, and it's one more thing that my mind couldn't possibly at the time, adapt to. At the same time, however, it was important for me to not be - what I was perceiving as - bullied or threatened. It's a difficult thing to navigate this possibly otherwise normal territory, when the mind has pretty much dissociated and in a state of shock.


Anyhow, at the risk of feeling like this is my own personal blog, I'd like to take a step back, and catch my breath.

Thank you all for your congrats and interests. It has made quite an impact, even though I don't know you personally.

 

[anart]

As far as the psychic attack goes, what I was trying to say, and I think others as well, is that until we get our body chemistry under control and plug up our holes in our knowledge base, there is no way to know. Using the scientific method to rule things out first would give a much better idea of what is going on there. As Laura says, we are quantum, chemical, biological beings, in that order. So, getting the chemicals under control is a big area to address first. Also, really understanding the material here may address some of your blind spots that may seem like attacks now, but may have their roots in other areas. I noticed that you said that you could not buy the Vegetarian Myth yet Laura has it if you will pm her, and pay when you can and write a review for the author . She has made that offer several times, and I am guessing it still stands That may really help since I see that you have very recently been a vegetarian.


From my current understanding, the attachments are very common and normal and they will release as your FRV increases, if I understand correctly

I think that pretty much sums it up.