So I don't know, maybe I'm here to learn empathy? I feel like a flesh robot a lot of the time, like I'm not "supposed" to be here. On Earth.
Hello!
It's a pity TomSquared does not seem to still be a part of the forum as far as I can gather. Yet, I'm going to share my reflections after having read through the thread. This thread began in 2017, and I guess since then some development and inner reflections and insights may have happened in his life concerning his initial query.
So, according to him, he desensitized himself because he was under the impression it was difficult and embarrasing for him to handle his sensitivity. Why difficult? Why embarrasing? To me the reason why he chose this action is a crucial one. Why was it so hard for him to be sensitive? And does he know how his mindset was working at the time in order to find sensitivity such a burden? What, and/or who, gave him the idea that desensitizing himself, ridding him of an inherently sound sensitivity was such a good idea?
If one has deliberately desensitized oneself, it's also possible to re-sensitize oneself.
What is his lesson being sensitive? And what is his lesson desensitizing himself?
And what exactly is a diagnosis? The Universe has no diagnoses, because everything is lessons. Only society has a need to categorize in terms of diagnoses. And what kind of a society is it we're talking about? The malign, ponerised society or the benign, empathic? What purpose does a ASD diagnosis serve the individual vs. what purpose does it serve society to put such a diagnosis, that label, on someone?
It seems to me that by shutting off that which seems to be his very lesson by using his free will to give in to "circumstances" desensitizing himself, he actually did the opposite of what he was thinking he was doing. What he in fact did was to put an even stronger emphasis on his lesson, i e sensitivity, and everything connected to this topic, where empathy is one part.
And thus he plunged himself into a "new" lesson, but in effect on the same theme, to experience the flip side of sensitivity, and having to examine being desensitized as another way to come to grips with the nature of his lesson. The lesson of finding out the nature of sensitivity by putting oneself in a situation where one tries to cut oneself off of it in order to be putting an even stronger focus on it.
One cannot escape one's lessons. No matter what one does to avoid it, the lesson keeps popping up, because the lesson is the reason why we're here on Earth. And if trying to escape the true purpose of one's lesson, that may be the reason why he was feeling like he was not "supposed" to be here on Earth, and that feeling is a key to understanding the true meaning of his lesson.
So, now that he has experienced both sides of the coin, would he be able to tell what sensitivity is and the full nature of his lesson?
And what does it mean to inflict on oneself the cutting off of sensitivity? From what kind of mindset is this impulse originating? Under what influence? (I'm not asking for myself, I would have loved to hear his reasoning)
What his approach to the above reflections would be, we won't find out. But I'm sharing this nevertheless because my reflections may be relevant to someone else reading.
Thank You!