Strange sensation in solar-plexus area?

[HowToBe]

Okay, I have finished reading The Myth of Sanity. So I'm wondering if the sensation I'm experiencing is a mild form of "shin pan", which Martha Stout mentions in the book. However, internet searches for the term have only revealed other people who are quoting the book. Does anyone know of any information about this?

I'm going to continue reading the Redirect thread and the other threads linked to there, but that will take a while. For the moment, I'm wondering how to choose a starting point? How do I identify a trauma to write about?

 

[bngenoh]

Hi HowToBe, i came to this thread from your Dreams Initiated by reading myth of sanity thread.

From what you have described about your situation, even down to the solar plexus sensation though it hasn't happened to me in a while, match my situation almost exactly. Maybe i can offer something worthwhile to you, but first i would like to quote i think Gonzo, "All aspects of The Work are cyclical."

"I" too have crashed, i began 2012 that way, i second Gertrudes comment that there is a limit to the benefits to be derived from introspection, more so when one is analyzing one's "failures,"and or in a depressive mood. Her very pragmatic approach of "yeah i fell, but it's okay if i choose to learn from my failings," is one that i have taken myself. We crash, but then, if we observe, we realize that we have not entirely regressed. We have grown, even if just a little.

The issue you bring up about a fear of self discovery is one that i have encountered, but in my case, it is not really me that is afraid, it is another "thing" because it reacted in a way that literally split itself from me, and i was able to observe it "fleeing" away from me.

This:

My current guess is that maybe during the period of growth I mentioned EE brought something near to the surface, which then reacted to the money situation and now I'm tied up in this reactive knot of fear. The tricky part is that "it" manages to subtly steer me clear of doing anything important, and then before I know it, I've been up 4 to 10 hours past my bedtime (I have a talent for staying awake), and I'm too tired and braindead to do the important things like EE, but it is only at this time that I realize I ought to have done EE hours earlier.

goes to the heart of the matter, the implicit lies "it" tells to manipulate us into doing it's bidding. One of the practices i have taken up is viewing any choice i am going to make through the eyes of Consequentialism, while i realize this is not the end all be all, simply because "it" can "shape shift" perfectly, and imitate the "voice" of my mind, it has helped me to cut down on irrational behaviors and actions.

As to this:

I'm going to continue reading the Redirect thread and the other threads linked to there, but that will take a while. For the moment, I'm wondering how to choose a starting point? How do I identify a trauma to write about?

Maybe the one that sticks out most in you. "I" am treating mine like recapitulation, starting with general topics, then going to specific instances within those topics, but we are all individuals.

 

[HowToBe]

Thank you for your time, bngenoh.

"I" too have crashed, i began 2012 that way, i second Gertrudes comment that there is a limit to the benefits to be derived from introspection, more so when one is analyzing one's "failures,"and or in a depressive mood. Her very pragmatic approach of "yeah i fell, but it's okay if i choose to learn from my failings," is one that i have taken myself. We crash, but then, if we observe, we realize that we have not entirely regressed. We have grown, even if just a little.

Yes, and I have recognized this. Even in the middle of my crash I was able to see that some of the helpful behaviors I had formed during my "period of growth" were still in effect. While slightly comforting, it did little (that I could see) to help me escape my pit, and continue actively growing. However, Laura's article, "How is the World Going to End in 2012?", has provided me with a very powerful shock that may have been what I needed to set me going - actually DOING things. "I" was too divided before, and was sabotaging myself. I have now acknowledged this and am working on systematic ways of improving myself and my circumstance, always with the knowledge that a "fall" could be right right around the corner. I'm working on a post in "The Swamp" to describe what I'm talking about more completely.

This:

My current guess is that maybe during the period of growth I mentioned EE brought something near to the surface, which then reacted to the money situation and now I'm tied up in this reactive knot of fear. The tricky part is that "it" manages to subtly steer me clear of doing anything important, and then before I know it, I've been up 4 to 10 hours past my bedtime (I have a talent for staying awake), and I'm too tired and braindead to do the important things like EE, but it is only at this time that I realize I ought to have done EE hours earlier.

goes to the heart of the matter, the implicit lies "it" tells to manipulate us into doing it's bidding. One of the practices i have taken up is viewing any choice i am going to make through the eyes of Consequentialism, while i realize this is not the end all be all, simply because "it" can "shape shift" perfectly, and imitate the "voice" of my mind, it has helped me to cut down on irrational behaviors and actions.

Yes. I know I still have not seen "it" in complete clarity, but I do think I have finally achieved complete distrust for what I used to call my "self". I am also working to stir my emotions back up, because I think part of my problem has been that my intellect was running the show and my emotions had gone to sleep. When I was younger I pursued Truth under the guise of Christianity with a certain idealistic vigor, which at some point seems to have failed, and this contributed to my paralysis, or so I think. So part of my current work is trying to "live with a *Kapow!*", if that makes sense. The last few days, when I start feeling like I'm losing steam, I take a few deep, vigorous breaths - sort of like BaHa - to bring my energy back up, and then I check to make sure I'm not wasting time on a distraction, and then I get back to what I was doing. I do this when my inner resistance tells me to do something else, and when the "solar plexus sensation" occurs. Often times I can feel sadness on the very border of my consciousness as I do this. I am glad I bought The Myth of Sanity.

As to this:

I'm going to continue reading the Redirect thread and the other threads linked to there, but that will take a while. For the moment, I'm wondering how to choose a starting point? How do I identify a trauma to write about?

Maybe the one that sticks out most in you. "I" am treating mine like recapitulation, starting with general topics, then going to specific instances within those topics, but we are all individuals.

Okay, that's what I thought might be a good idea. But "I" tend to be obsessive about detail and burn myself out, so I'll have to be careful. For instance I spent a long time describing a dream in writing this morning. This may help to remember the dream, but maybe I'm wasting time if I never get around to "focusing on reasons", as described in the Redirect thread.