Struggle at work - How to handle an STS colleague?

[Ellipse]

I think that having "no reaction" doesn't mean that you didn't have a reaction in the past and won't have a similar reaction in the future. It's just that you're not having it at the moment because you are more localized in your head, thinking about what happened. The challenge is to be in front of the reaction even before it happens so that you can catch it happening in the moment.

Regarding the "counter effect," in some situations if one is 'able' enough to do it, it may sometimes be necessary to go opposite to a strong automatic reaction (almost "brutally") so that it can be counter balanced and bring one back to center. An example would be is that if there is a strong automatic/unconscious reaction in the workplace to be passive in a certain situation then consciously making an effort to go to the opposite extreme and being very assertive can help to bring one back to center, all the while observing the dynamic and not identifying with it so that one can stop on a dime if necessary and not go too far to the other extreme and lose conscious awareness and then make the matter worse. But it takes a lot of conscious control to be able to do this. Better to focus on what's going on inside yourself and how you are connected to the whole dynamic. One has to be aware of one's reactions and it's circumstances in the first place and this is where self observation is so important at the beginning, for starts. Better, IMO, to observe your inner reactions while all this is happening and always best to err on the side of caution.

Thank you Kenlee for your answer on this very particular point. I guess this is martial art knowledge. Very interesting to think in those terms. It suite me well, I practised a martial art long ago. I've to found a mind sparring partner.

 

[Corvus]

Ellipse, have you ever said to him about how you feel and what influence his behaviour has on your work?

If it doesn't work, then just go to the superior and review the whole situation.

If this doesn't help, then learn how to be and strive to be assertive.

When it comes to first advice I think it has no sense of telling it to the person because if it could have some impact he would not act as he does in the firstplace. Second is risky because probably he is not in that place because of his knowledge and skill so it just tells you there are some connections to the top, so that also does not make sense, and if he finds out if the connections are well oiled you ll get more fire throw-ed at you and more tension and conflict with him or higher ups. Being assertive depends on the situation, if you have some advantages you can use like firm depending on you badly, high value employee, etc.. you can then put out some demands, but if just a "figure" on the board you ll be just put in the fire if there is nobody else coming forward, and it is frequent situation because most are to afraid to do anything. That option is if you want to change something from outside if the situation is too draining, but would recommend as said previously to concentrate on the emotions in that kind of situations which can be hard sometimes because of anger from injustice and incompetence of person not deserving that position, but control of yourself is only what you have in the end, because outside situation is fickle and can change when it comes to first option.

 

[rinzler]

I'm actually really curious about this aswell. How do you as an STO-candidate treat people like that?
There's this that Jesus said:
Luke 6:27-36

[27] "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, [28] bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. [29] If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. [30] Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. [31] Do to others as you would have them do to you.

[32] "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. [33] And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. [34] And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. [35] But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. [36] Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
And then there's that:
Luke 14:26
26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.


If I'm going to be honest here I have to say, loving your enemies is going to get one killed or worse...and so it did happen to him.
Obviously none of us is him so we can't apply this principle in real life; can we?
I believe in Justice and if I go around in life treating the people that wish me harm like saints I'm just going to make a fool of myself and get abused and used. Maybe I should use an anology to express myself more clearly.
It would be like a zebra going to the lion and trying to befriend it while it is hunting for zebras..
This makes no sense to me. What happend to Justice? And the wheel of karma that affects our future incarnations and our time in the void?
If I'm not wrong there is also the Second Council of Constantinople that removed the concept of reincarnation from the bible due to pressure from the ruling elite.