Struggle

[Scheherazade]

I must admit first of all that I've been a boardlurker for several years. As several members of the forum usually admit also, I always feel 'I have nothing relevant to add'. I've been trying to shut down the 'voices' in my head that says 'let the people with more knowledge that I have, speak and say something really important'. These are very powerful programs indeed.
And also because english is not my native language and it is sometimes hard for me to convey what I am feeling.
Lately I've been having problems with my role on the life of my children. From my point of view, I am the caretaker, my responsibility is to guide them as best as I can, It is a compromise I made when I gave them birth.
But how to do it when the other parent, who lives with me, and who shares this responsibility, is not colinear with what you know? It was not always like this, not before I start to read The Wave and the cassiopaean's messages.
I do not try to 'preach' this knowledge to my husband as I know he doesn't view my food choices and way of thinking with good eyes, it is very strange to him.
On one hand, it is hard to watch my children eating junk food, on the other, I made a compromise with this family, and it is nobody's fault that I've changed during the last several years.
On one hand, I say, specially to my older, the dangers of sugar, he already could grasp the notion of 'densities', on the other hand, my husband accuse me of saying nonsense 'paranormal' notions to our boy.
Sometimes I just take a deep breath and think 'let the life take its course, expect nothing'.
But it is hard, I always feel I could do better.
Is there someone with no-colinear partner? How do you do it?
Thank you for reading.

 

[lilyalic]

Hi Scheherazade, sorry to hear your struggles, there is a discussion on "finding partners" that has useful information about relationships

Here is the link: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,36240.0.html

Being in a non-co linear relationship, you'd have to apply external consideration as the partner does not see things "as you do" if you can accept this...

There's also a thread about being apprehensive upon posting on the forum: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,36724.msg542400.html#msg542400

I hope you find some guidance!

 

[Keyhole]

Hello Scheherazade, the threads posted above are a good place to start. I think a lot of us here come up against conflict when we voice out views to friends and family, Mouravieff adresses this in Gnosis. He says that it is part of the "General Law" - that mans enemies will be the ones closest to him. In order to reduce the attacks once must practice strategic enclosure and try to limit what one says in the company of others who are not co-linear. For example, perhaps you could speak to your child about these topics when you are not in the company of your husband? Do you mind if I ask, what does your husband say about the diet?

 

[Scheherazade]

Thanks for the links lilyalic, I'm cheching the threads now.

For example, perhaps you could speak to your child about these topics when you are not in the company of your husband? Do you mind if I ask, what does your husband say about the diet?

My husband trusts blindly in most of the nutritionists and doctors, that in general, advocate the opposite of paleo philosophy...

 

[Argo]

Thanks for the links lilyalic, I'm cheching the threads now.

For example, perhaps you could speak to your child about these topics when you are not in the company of your husband? Do you mind if I ask, what does your husband say about the diet?

My husband trusts blindly in most of the nutritionists and doctors, that in general, advocate the opposite of paleo philosophy...

I know several people who think the same, and usually in discussion with them I say that there is none real evidence for that theory, just the opposite. And I always give them the links from SOTT about diets. :)

I guess it's much harder to do that when you deal with a close relative or a non-co linear partner.

 

[kalibex]

Hi, Scheherazade:

For now, your best bet may be to 'lead by example', ie, model what you deem to be healthy behavior and eating habits as you continue to learn more about what works. If you are feeling better, etc., you can share that information with your family (without being too obsessive or heavy-handed, hopefully).

 

[Keyhole]

But how to do it when the other parent, who lives with me, and who shares this responsibility, is not colinear with what you know? It was not always like this, not before I start to read The Wave and the cassiopaean's messages.
I do not try to 'preach' this knowledge to my husband as I know he doesn't view my food choices and way of thinking with good eyes, it is very strange to him.
On one hand, it is hard to watch my children eating junk food, on the other, I made a compromise with this family, and it is nobody's fault that I've changed during the last several years.

IMO best thing that you can offer others is to respect their choices and as you already said - guide your children towards truth. As long as you are there to provide information and give advice when asked/needed - that is being the best service to them that you can be. I think the reality of the situation that not a lot of people are interested in knowing the truth, and sometimes no amount of alternative information can change a persons views if those views clash with the ones promulgated by society. However, I don't think it would do any harm to subtly suggest other ways of eating and point out the health hazards of the modern day diet occasionally. And if you have the books and other pieces of information about the diet at hand - your children and husband may be interested and read them some day.

 

[Laura]

Hi, Scheherazade:

For now, your best bet may be to 'lead by example', ie, model what you deem to be healthy behavior and eating habits as you continue to learn more about what works. If you are feeling better, etc., you can share that information with your family (without being too obsessive or heavy-handed, hopefully).

Exactly. As you noted, you are the one who has grown/changed and the best thing you can do is make that positive for everyone. The more you can BE, the more you OUGHT to be there for others in the ways they ask for. (Keeping your own needs in mind at the same time.)

 

[RedFox]

Hi, Scheherazade:

For now, your best bet may be to 'lead by example', ie, model what you deem to be healthy behavior and eating habits as you continue to learn more about what works. If you are feeling better, etc., you can share that information with your family (without being too obsessive or heavy-handed, hopefully).

Exactly. As you noted, you are the one who has grown/changed and the best thing you can do is make that positive for everyone. The more you can BE, the more you OUGHT to be there for others in the ways they ask for. (Keeping your own needs in mind at the same time.)

Agreed, make sure you are not doing things for others (such as compromising on Your diet) for your families benefit, and at the same time not preaching. It can be a hard balance to get right but it's possible.

It may be worth noting that I've seen many people bring up similar situations over the years, and even been in a similar position myself in the past. So fwiw you're not alone in this struggle.

 

[Scheherazade]

Thank you very much for your comments, it was kind of you to answer.

That is what I've been trying to do, to 'lead by example'.
They (children) will grow up and discover the world at its own pace.
This is what I think rationally, but emotionally is hard. I have yet a lot to learn.

Hi, Scheherazade:

For now, your best bet may be to 'lead by example', ie, model what you deem to be healthy behavior and eating habits as you continue to learn more about what works. If you are feeling better, etc., you can share that information with your family (without being too obsessive or heavy-handed, hopefully).

Exactly. As you noted, you are the one who has grown/changed and the best thing you can do is make that positive for everyone. The more you can BE, the more you OUGHT to be there for others in the ways they ask for. (Keeping your own needs in mind at the same time.)

With so few words you can say a lot! Thank you thank you.

 

[herondancer]

Hi, Scheherazade:

For now, your best bet may be to 'lead by example', ie, model what you deem to be healthy behavior and eating habits as you continue to learn more about what works. If you are feeling better, etc., you can share that information with your family (without being too obsessive or heavy-handed, hopefully).

This is the best thing you can do. As your family sees the changes in you from following a better diet, they may take you more seriously. As to your oldest child, if he/she is approaching adolescence, there are some good articles out there on how a paleo/ketogenic diet can prevent acne. If only I'd know that when I was thirteen! I'd have been on it immediately, never mind all the other benefits. Find whatever motivates! :)

Some links:

http://www.acneeinstein.com/low-carb-diet-acne/

http://paleoforwomen.com/everything-you-need-to-know-about-acne-in-3000-words/

 

[riclapaz]

Hello Scheherazade, I've been in the same situation, my family sometimes takes me a little "crazy" as meat, fats and occasional vegetables, but the advice to "lead by example" I have found that the best way to handle this situation, when someone in my family goes through an illness and ask me any advice is when I try to explain the damage caused gluten, milk, grains etc. and I think on some level I understand, a little patience also helps. :)

 

[Moonbird]

I must admit first of all that I've been a boardlurker for several years. As several members of the forum usually admit also, I always feel 'I have nothing relevant to add'. I've been trying to shut down the 'voices' in my head that says 'let the people with more knowledge that I have, speak and say something really important'. These are very powerful programs indeed.
And also because english is not my native language and it is sometimes hard for me to convey what I am feeling.
Lately I've been having problems with my role on the life of my children. From my point of view, I am the caretaker, my responsibility is to guide them as best as I can, It is a compromise I made when I gave them birth.
But how to do it when the other parent, who lives with me, and who shares this responsibility, is not colinear with what you know? It was not always like this, not before I start to read The Wave and the cassiopaean's messages.
I do not try to 'preach' this knowledge to my husband as I know he doesn't view my food choices and way of thinking with good eyes, it is very strange to him.
On one hand, it is hard to watch my children eating junk food, on the other, I made a compromise with this family, and it is nobody's fault that I've changed during the last several years.
On one hand, I say, specially to my older, the dangers of sugar, he already could grasp the notion of 'densities', on the other hand, my husband accuse me of saying nonsense 'paranormal' notions to our boy.
Sometimes I just take a deep breath and think 'let the life take its course, expect nothing'.
But it is hard, I always feel I could do better.
Is there someone with no-colinear partner? How do you do it?
Thank you for reading.

Hi Scheherazad,

I agree with the others on "leading by example" and then as you say above "let life takes its course, expect nothing."

My 72-year mother moved in with me a year ago. Her diet was the typical standard American diet (SAD). And my diet is paleo/keto.

Now, after a year of me leading by example (without any preaching), my mother is pretty much paleo. Not 100% and not perfect, but she's lost around 25 pounds and has no desire to go back to the SAD diet. And she is quiet happy with the results.

Hang in there. All my best to you.

 

[Plume]

Is there someone with no-colinear partner? How do you do it?


Hello Scheherazade,

I'm more or less in the same situation, with a teenager who is awake and a companion who has difficulties to understand.
I'm not yet on Keto diet stage but what I do for idees, I reserve discussions with my child, there are some topics I only speek with him.
For health, I apply to myself natural medicine in which I believe, sometimes they follow me and are surprised in the results. Things change.
I think everyone has to make his own way, I do not force but I launch tracks.
What I've remarked is that since I myself changed they have also progressed, at their own pace, but it's a step forward.

Go ahead

 

[Seato]

Hello Scheherazade, I can relate with how hard it can be to watch your family eat junk food, as I often cringe at some of what my own family choose to eat. When I began Keto my family did think of my sudden dietary changes as a bit “crazy”. However just a couple of weeks ago my mother happened to watch something on tv that briefly mentioned ketosis giving me the opportunity to explain the diet to her. Though she and the rest of my family continue to have little interest in my diet it was nice to feel some progress in those around me and I wish the same to you and your family.