nemo
Jedi
attempt on self-observation, inspired by recent forum experience
(nemo is a bit anxious concerning his long post and hopes it doesn`t serve self exclusively.)
(he leaves it at the moderator`s discretion to supply some context, if necessary.)
first post
An interesting story comes to my mind. I write it down. I get the flimsy afterthought that this might
also be an opportunity to test the waters regarding some controversial subject I believe needs inclusion.
I`m vaguely aware that I might provoke controversial reactions but do not think that I actually violate forum rules.
_I go ahead and press submit.
reset
an interesting story comes to nemo`s mind. he writes it down. he gets the flimsy afterthought that this might
also be an opportunity to test the waters regarding some controversial subject nemo believes needs inclusion.
nemo is vaguely aware that he might provoke controversial reactions but does not think that he actually violates forum rules.
but then nemo starts to reflect his motivation behind the post. it becomes clear that nemo likes to show off by presenting an
intriguing story, thereby feeding his self-importance. he also becomes aware that it is actually rather likely that he will provoke
controversial reactions and thereby possibly even harming the forum. that would be equal to putting nemo`s wants above the
forum`s needs, thereby demonstrating sts in action. nemo wonders.
_nemo decides to delete his post.
maybe, because nemo is somewhat unsure about rules, he posts a request to the sott editors in order to clear up some
confusions he has regarding rules. this seems a good way to test the waters regarding nemo`s topic without bringing any harm to the forum.
Others might benefit as well.
second post
I become irritated at anart`s reply. Not only does she point out that I broke the forum rules, which I find exaggerated.
She also has the nerve to comment critically to my post`s content.
_Since I cannot comment her remark without further violating the rules, I write an insincere apology for overstepping rules;
after all, she`s the moderator. Simultaneously I smuggle in my topic through the back door. I think it is important.
reset
nemo becomes irritated at anart`s reply. not only does she point out that nemo broke forum rules, which nemo finds exaggerated.
she also has the nerve to comment critically on nemo`s post.
nemo starts writing reply, then pauses and reflects. he realizes that as a moderator anart has a lot of experience and earns
respect. her differing attitude towards nemo`s topic and his being unable to refer to it hurts his ego. nemo realizes that he
provoked this situation himself. his resulting negative feelings are buffers to protect his false personality.
_nemo answers with a short reply in which he apologizes for his mistake. he also promises not to repeat it.
third post
Reading anart`s lenghty vivisection of my second post makes me angry. I feel the heat rising to my face.
I realize that she has interpreted my reply rather correctly but feel her arguing to be somewhat biased.
_I counter her lenghty reply with an even longer post trying to make myself clearer and to defend my position because
it is important that I´m understood.
reset
reading anart`s lenghty vivisection of nemo`s second post makes nemo angry. he feels the heat rising to his face.
nemo realizes that she has interpreted his reply rather correctly but feels her arguing to be somewhat biased.
while starting to write another lenghty reply to explain himself in more detail nemo realizes that by doing so he further
boosts his ego`s wants. it becomes clear to him that the whole argument revolves around nemo. nemo is the sun of this debate.
he is blind towards the forum`s needs.
_nemo posts short reply in which he identifys his behaviour as self serving.
nemo writes that he needs to reflect on what anart has been saying.
fourth post
While reading anart`s reply regarding my previous post I suddenly feel like walking on a minefield. I feel treated rather unfairly
by anart who, I believe, stubbornly rubs my self-importance in, while at the same time ignoring a lot of what I`ve written.
The situation feels increasingly kafkaesk.
at some point during writing another lenghty post nemo realizes that this dialogue could go on indefinetly.
he is suddenly overwhelmed by a bad conscience towards anart who`s time he`s clearly abusing on behalf of his own self-importance.
_nemo then very spontanously submitts a quick post in which he identifys his behaviour as self serving.
nemo writes that he needs to further reflect on what anart has been saying.
afterwards he reads anart`s third post again. then nemo takes a lenghty walk in the wintry city. he ponders his next reply.
nemo then mentally goes over the whole thread again, trying to view it more objectively.
he then realizes to his astonishment that he made a clear mistake with his first post.
to up the ante he went on repeating the same mistake over and over again in his following posts.
nemo suddenly realizes that he lied to himself from the get go. nemo`s egoistical thinking prevented him from the start
to see the wider picture, in which he is a mere extra.
by going over the posts step by step he wonders at the different options or opportunities he would have had.
this makes nemo pause.
(nemo is a bit anxious concerning his long post and hopes it doesn`t serve self exclusively.)
(he leaves it at the moderator`s discretion to supply some context, if necessary.)
first post
An interesting story comes to my mind. I write it down. I get the flimsy afterthought that this might
also be an opportunity to test the waters regarding some controversial subject I believe needs inclusion.
I`m vaguely aware that I might provoke controversial reactions but do not think that I actually violate forum rules.
_I go ahead and press submit.
reset
an interesting story comes to nemo`s mind. he writes it down. he gets the flimsy afterthought that this might
also be an opportunity to test the waters regarding some controversial subject nemo believes needs inclusion.
nemo is vaguely aware that he might provoke controversial reactions but does not think that he actually violates forum rules.
but then nemo starts to reflect his motivation behind the post. it becomes clear that nemo likes to show off by presenting an
intriguing story, thereby feeding his self-importance. he also becomes aware that it is actually rather likely that he will provoke
controversial reactions and thereby possibly even harming the forum. that would be equal to putting nemo`s wants above the
forum`s needs, thereby demonstrating sts in action. nemo wonders.
_nemo decides to delete his post.
maybe, because nemo is somewhat unsure about rules, he posts a request to the sott editors in order to clear up some
confusions he has regarding rules. this seems a good way to test the waters regarding nemo`s topic without bringing any harm to the forum.
Others might benefit as well.
second post
I become irritated at anart`s reply. Not only does she point out that I broke the forum rules, which I find exaggerated.
She also has the nerve to comment critically to my post`s content.
_Since I cannot comment her remark without further violating the rules, I write an insincere apology for overstepping rules;
after all, she`s the moderator. Simultaneously I smuggle in my topic through the back door. I think it is important.
reset
nemo becomes irritated at anart`s reply. not only does she point out that nemo broke forum rules, which nemo finds exaggerated.
she also has the nerve to comment critically on nemo`s post.
nemo starts writing reply, then pauses and reflects. he realizes that as a moderator anart has a lot of experience and earns
respect. her differing attitude towards nemo`s topic and his being unable to refer to it hurts his ego. nemo realizes that he
provoked this situation himself. his resulting negative feelings are buffers to protect his false personality.
_nemo answers with a short reply in which he apologizes for his mistake. he also promises not to repeat it.
third post
Reading anart`s lenghty vivisection of my second post makes me angry. I feel the heat rising to my face.
I realize that she has interpreted my reply rather correctly but feel her arguing to be somewhat biased.
_I counter her lenghty reply with an even longer post trying to make myself clearer and to defend my position because
it is important that I´m understood.
reset
reading anart`s lenghty vivisection of nemo`s second post makes nemo angry. he feels the heat rising to his face.
nemo realizes that she has interpreted his reply rather correctly but feels her arguing to be somewhat biased.
while starting to write another lenghty reply to explain himself in more detail nemo realizes that by doing so he further
boosts his ego`s wants. it becomes clear to him that the whole argument revolves around nemo. nemo is the sun of this debate.
he is blind towards the forum`s needs.
_nemo posts short reply in which he identifys his behaviour as self serving.
nemo writes that he needs to reflect on what anart has been saying.
fourth post
While reading anart`s reply regarding my previous post I suddenly feel like walking on a minefield. I feel treated rather unfairly
by anart who, I believe, stubbornly rubs my self-importance in, while at the same time ignoring a lot of what I`ve written.
The situation feels increasingly kafkaesk.
at some point during writing another lenghty post nemo realizes that this dialogue could go on indefinetly.
he is suddenly overwhelmed by a bad conscience towards anart who`s time he`s clearly abusing on behalf of his own self-importance.
_nemo then very spontanously submitts a quick post in which he identifys his behaviour as self serving.
nemo writes that he needs to further reflect on what anart has been saying.
afterwards he reads anart`s third post again. then nemo takes a lenghty walk in the wintry city. he ponders his next reply.
nemo then mentally goes over the whole thread again, trying to view it more objectively.
he then realizes to his astonishment that he made a clear mistake with his first post.
to up the ante he went on repeating the same mistake over and over again in his following posts.
nemo suddenly realizes that he lied to himself from the get go. nemo`s egoistical thinking prevented him from the start
to see the wider picture, in which he is a mere extra.
by going over the posts step by step he wonders at the different options or opportunities he would have had.
this makes nemo pause.