The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey

What I like is that Covey's underyling idea is that there is an ethical natural law that you violate at your peril - and that you can profit from if you follow it. But it's not about "success", it's more about living a life based on unshakable principles that can sustain you, no matter the circumstances. It will also shield you from just reacting to what is thrown at you and mechanically going this or that way. He defines free will as that short moment between stimulus and your reaction - this is where it's at!

The message reminds me a lot of Jordan Peterson. But Covey doesn't go into science or religion, he rather focusses on practical advice and on bringing his core messages home. It had a big effect on me and I now often think about things in terms of "I decide to do this or that" instead of just being thrown around by circumstances. This shift in mindset alone can be such a blessing! There's so much more in the book, and I think everyone can get a lot out of it, whether you have time management problems or not.

Like many others, the first time I read it years ago, I picked up pretty much only on the time-management stuff, and I was looking for a quick solution, so I missed some of the main points. Having read it recently again, I got so much more from it! It's funny how we can filter data out when we aren't ready to face something, change our attitude, etc. :-[

With the Work in mind, reading it is quite interesting, like Luc explained above. I guess it comes down to it being a practical way to focus on our core values, on long term goals, and most of all, on being as aware as possible and not going into black&white thinking, emotional thinking, etc. Some of his suggestions are really making a difference for me at least. I feel, like he said, that changing is not so scary when you know that there is an unchangeable core that you value more than "success", keeping your thinking errors and narratives, etc.

It's also refreshing to have a book on this topic that focuses on real stuff (not fake values as promoted by society today), and encouraging people to take responsibility and act more consciously, instead of the more common "self-help books" where all you get is a promotion of fake niceties, fake success and egotism, mixed with a bunch of self-pity, "you're speshul", "hug your inner child", etc.
 
Fwiw, while looking up the book online to see about buying the most updated version (the version I have is from 1990), I found a workbook that accompanies the book called the 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Personal Workbook.' I plan to purchase this as well. And for anyone here who may be a parent to a teenager or young adult, Covey also has written a version for this age group titled 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens'.
 
I've finished this book now and it was an incredibly inspiring read. I think Covey has a way of writing that conjures such brilliant imagery, there's humour and there's gentleness in his words...I would thoroughly recommend it to anyone, the lessons and guidance are for all, they are relevant to whatever organisation you are part of (work, family, community).

I am halfway through the book and started wondering about this personal mission statement Covey is talking about in his book. Did anyone write a statement like that, and do you think it is helpful?
I've started to write one Mariama...I'm not finding it easy, I'm having to correct myself often and peel back the layers, not confuse personality with character (I thought that a tremendous lesson in the book). Having a set of unshakable principles almost seems to go against the flow of modern thinking where you can be whatever you want to be and my initial thoughts were "Well, that seems a rigid approach." But it's not, it actually arms you against the harmful fluidity of current trends whose foundations are built on sand.

I've been changing my approach to situations of late. I'm observing more and trying to ask the right questions, especially in times of conflict in the home. My partner is finding it unsettling as he still very attached to the blame game, but the youngsters seem to enjoy and participate in the deeper thought processes.
 
I've started to write one Mariama...I'm not finding it easy, I'm having to correct myself often and peel back the layers, not confuse personality with character (I thought that a tremendous lesson in the book). Having a set of unshakable principles almost seems to go against the flow of modern thinking where you can be whatever you want to be and my initial thoughts were "Well, that seems a rigid approach." But it's not, it actually arms you against the harmful fluidity of current trends whose foundations are built on sand.

I think this group is already founded on "unshakable principles", so we all practice what Covey is preaching to some extent. Gurdjieff's ideas of self-remembering point in the same direction as well. So I don't think this is too "rigid" - it's either you submit to unshakable "good" principles consciously, or you submit to the principles of entropy and chaos unconsciously while under the illusion you are "free".

That being said, I had my difficulties coming up with a "mission statement" myself, though even trying was a useful exercise for me. Also, the very idea of a mission statement seems to help me - sometimes just refocusing on that idea puts my various tasks and possible reactions to situations in a new light.

Covey says himself that your mission statement is subject to constant revision. I see it as an exercise in filling ethical and character-building "STO" principles with life and making them more concrete for your individual situation. It's like a guiding star that you can rely on, like Peterson's wisely-chosen Aim, or like Gurfjieff's Aim that you "make your religion". It helps you move in a certain positive direction. But you will probably never achieve full success in this lifetime; Covey also wisely remarks at the end that he, too, often fails living up to his own principles. But that shouldn't keep one from pushing!

Covey's ideas aren't new of course, they are as old as time. But I think the value of his book lies in his great explanations, his great way of "putting it", and his practical approaches, the idea of a "mission statement" being one of them. In its minimal form, it's nothing more than writing a few lines in your diary, but even that can be very powerful, if it is based on STO principles.

Fwiw
 
The following quote made me think of the Cs session of May 2019 where they said that sharing with the network is important. In the chapter where Covey discusses Habit 6: Synergize he mentions what happens when people do just that:
There was usually an early moment that required considerable courage, perhaps in becoming extremely authentic, in confronting some inside truth about the individual or the organization or the family which really needed to be said, but took a combination of considerable courage, and genuine love to say it. Then others became more authentic, open, and honest and the synergistic communication process began. It usually became more and more creative, and ended up in insights and plans that no one had anticipate initially.
As Carl Rogers taught, "That which is most personal is most general." The more authentic you become, the more genuine in your expression, particularly regarding personal experiences and even self-doubts, the more people can relate to your expression and the safer it makes them feel to express themselves. That expression in turn feeds back on the other person's spirit and genuine creative empathy takes place, producing new insights, and learnings and a sense of excitement and adventure that keeps the process going.
People then begin to interact with each other almost in half sentences, sometimes incoherent, but they get each other's meanings very rapidly. Then whole new worlds of insights, new alternatives, new paradigms that insure options, new alternatives are opened up and thought about. Though occasionally these new ideas are left up in the air, they usually come to some kind of closure that is practical and useful.

That's an encouraging thought and we see these new paradigms, insights and alternatives pop up all over the forum when people become more 'authentic', OSIT.
 
Fwiw, while looking up the book online to see about buying the most updated version (the version I have is from 1990), I found a workbook that accompanies the book called the 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Personal Workbook.' I plan to purchase this as well. And for anyone here who may be a parent to a teenager or young adult, Covey also has written a version for this age group titled 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens'.

Thank you, Cleo!

In the book Stephen talks about reading it with an aim to teach others, which helps with your own learning. I have younger siblings who are teenagers. We talk about some of the things covered in the book, in general and in family meetings settings. I help set and carry out these meetings; one of my younger sisters seemed a little confused when I asked her what she thought about a family mission statement. She commented it reminded her of school or church.

I'll check this out as this might be a good addition :-)
 
I have finished the book and it was a great read. I think I will go back to certain parts of it and perhaps do some exercises and write my personal mission statement (even if it's just a few sentences in my journal).

This quote from Anwar Sadat really struck a cord with me, as I understand more and more how our thinking can hamper our progress or propel us forward:

My contemplation of life and human nature in that secluded place [he spent some time in a prison in Cairo] had taught me that he who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress.

Then Covey writes:
Change -real change- comes from the inside out. It doesn't come from hacking at the leaves of attitude and behaviour with quick fix personality ethic techniques. It comes from striking at the root - the fabric of our thought, the fundamental, essential paradigms, which give definition to our character and create the lens through which we see the world.

It also makes me think of Russian writer Solzhenitsyn (Jordan Peterson talks about him quite a lot) who was sent to the Gulag under communist rule and spent his time there contemplating what he had done that got him there. Both men seemed to have jumped at the opportunity of taking personal responsibility for their lives instead of blaming external circumstances. That is really inspiring and shows us what we can do in the direst circumstances when we use our thinking to change our subjective reality into a more objective one, OSIT.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top Bottom