The "Rational Male and Female"? - Biology and Programs in Relationships

gottathink said:
I think the concept is worth meditating on as either way (polar couples or individuals considering the concept) the necessity is to pursue the work.
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gottathink said:
The literature that discusses polar opposites is not at all about looking for the one. It’s about developing a crystallised being so that polar opposites are drawn together. No looking involved.
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I agree that the concept is worth thinking about and discussing, and I wouldn’t be down on the idea of someone looking for the one, either! It seems to me that there are many different types of people and, necessarily, just as many different types of challenges, strengths, weaknesses, ways of perception, and potential destinies.

For different people, it might be right to think about the idea of the one, or of polar opposites, or of multiple polar beings, or of relationships in the framework of a soul group. Or even none of that... but that they are looking for someone compatible or co-linear for companionship on their journey. I think that all of these ideas have merit and are more or less fitting depending on the individual.

But, I would guess that in the context of the Work, what is most important is whether or not the idea helps you toward your aim of self-honesty and self-mastery. In some cases, for example, the idea or feeling that there is a polar opposite out there may help and inspire someone. And, it may actually be true too. But, in some other cases, that idea or feeling may be simply a program or a narrative to avoid doing real hard work in a relationship, or it could be used to spiritualize hormones and lower emotions. So, not everyone wears the same shoe size, and one man’s meat might be another man’s poison, etc.

Anyway, I think that this thread was started because some people felt a lack of discussion about the nuts and bolts of relationships between men and women in favor of the spiritual aspects of same (it is subtitled biology and programs in relationships). And there have certainly been a lot of people passing through here who have neglected the nuts and bolts aspects to their detriment. So balance is important. While there is surely an interdependence between the two approaches, perhaps sticking to the nuts and bolts here and discussing the spiritual philosophy in another thread would work better? I dunno. Is there not a thread on polar opposites?
 
sid said:
…..Most people out there, be it males or females, don’t know anything about love since such knowledge is removed from this world. What we see out there is everyone seeking an experience from their favourite Disney movie. People don’t seek love, they seek a lifestyle…..
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“What we see”. This is an interesting mental trap. “We” tend to generalize and project so “we” are justified and validated.

IOW can you really speak for ANYONE but yourself? I think it is most powerful and instructive to only speak from the first person.

Experts agree! : ).

“I have the backing of the consensus opinion” when really, no such thing exists or really matters.

When I’d say “we”, in my youth, my best friend would say: “oh? You and who else? Do you have a mouse in your pocket?”

What you are saying might even be true, but can “we” stand for something without leaning on the idea “we” are not alone and are bolstered by a throng of researchers who see things the same way we do?

When someone says “we don’t do this or think this” or “we forumites believe and act blah blah” in reference to this forum, I cringe a bit. Especially when the opinion doesn’t really represent me.

I think this is part of the work. To learn to stand on your own two feet; not in stubborn denial of reality while ignoring feedback, but to stand in a place that is honestly co-linear with your own life.
 
Andromeda said:
I agree that the concept is worth thinking about and discussing, and I wouldn’t be down on the idea of someone looking for the one, either! It seems to me that there are many different types of people and, necessarily, just as many different types of challenges, strengths, weaknesses, ways of perception, and potential destinies.

For different people, it might be right to think about the idea of the one, or of polar opposites, or of multiple polar beings, or of relationships in the framework of a soul group. Or even none of that... but that they are looking for someone compatible or co-linear for companionship on their journey. I think that all of these ideas have merit and are more or less fitting depending on the individual.

But, I would guess that in the context of the Work, what is most important is whether or not the idea helps you toward your aim of self-honesty and self-mastery. In some cases, for example, the idea or feeling that there is a polar opposite out there may help and inspire someone. And, it may actually be true too. But, in some other cases, that idea or feeling may be simply a program or a narrative to avoid doing real hard work in a relationship, or it could be used to spiritualize hormones and lower emotions. So, not everyone wears the same shoe size, and one man’s meat might be another man’s poison, etc.

Anyway, I think that this thread was started because some people felt a lack of discussion about the nuts and bolts of relationships between men and women in favor of the spiritual aspects of same (it is subtitled biology and programs in relationships). And there have certainly been a lot of people passing through here who have neglected the nuts and bolts aspects to their detriment. So balance is important. While there is surely an interdependence between the two approaches, perhaps sticking to the nuts and bolts here and discussing the spiritual philosophy in another thread would work better? I dunno. Is there not a thread on polar opposites?
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Yes I agree, and was thinking the same that this discussion has developed in a way that should be in the Polar Beings thread. A lot of these points have already been discussed there along with valuable contribution from other members.
 
gottathink said:
The best advice I read was that people should pursue the work (Gnosis) and act in a way that their current partner is their polar opposite. This is because any genuine pursuit of this knowledge will move you towards your polar opposite [what ever lifetime that may be].
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Honestly, I think that for some people this could be very good advice. Say, if it is for someone who starts doing the Work while already in a couple with a family to support. If that person latched on to the idea of a polar opposite because they were unhappy in their situation, they could either use it as an excuse to ditch their family, or as inspiration to Work on themselves from where they are, understanding that their choices led them there for a reason, and to treat their partner with respect and commitment even if they feel there may be a better match for them in another life. The specifics of the situation would mean a lot.

But then, as Chu said, if the idea makes you feel like you are just biding your time until something better comes along, that would be pretty shi**y.

But anyway, I digress. To the Polar Beings thread!
 
Chu said:
I don't know, maybe I'm too "practical", and not imaginative enough. But to me, there is a lot more appeal in the idea of two people BECOMING "polar opposites" in the process of learning to give, to know themselves, to share knowledge with others, etc. in this life. That could be predestined, if you wish, but it still involves a lot of conscious effort and agency. Without the latter, it may amount to nothing, just like a genetic predisposition towards a skill is nothing if the person doesn't work hard to achieve competence at that skill.

FWIW!
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Essential. Thank you Chu for puting it so nicely :love:
 
As a bit of a curved ball and ‘tongue in cheek’.

On the local public talkback radio this exact topic came up a few months ago and many people chimed in along the lines discussed above (I am looking for my soul-mate etc.).

An old codger rings up and says, this thing about soul-mates is BS - what you want to find is not your SOUL-mate, but your CELL-mate, that is the person that you would be able to spend 30 years locked up with in a room measuring 5x3 meters without going crazy or murdering the other.

I found that quite hilarious, but at the same time to be true, too.
 
Not sure where to put this story but I think it best fits in this thread.

So I heard a story about the 24 yr old Moroccan football player achraf hakimi who plays for PSG in France that kind of blew my mind. So this guy got into a relationship with an actress who was 12 years older than him when he was 17 years old or something like that. Eventually they got married and recently she filed for divorce and as part of the divorce looked to take half his wealth. So this isn't like "news" per se when it comes to rich and famous types but what makes this story different is, wait for it, it got revealed he didn't actually own any assets despite earning like 15 million euros each year. Basically, EVERYTHING he owns is under his mum's name (houses, cars, jewelry , you name it) and 80% of his salary goes straight into his mum's bank account. His mother! Like, his now ex-wife can't get anything out of him from the divorce because he doesn't actually have anything to give as it all goes to his mum. Like, wow, this guy has become some legend.


Looking further into this, it appears he got into this type of arrangement with his mum before he got married to the lady so likely either his mum or him anticipated such a situation.
 
A pretty sad exchange you shared Beau. It's outright predation on psychologically vulnerable individuals. These types of attitudes and approaches are not at all uncommon in the porn industry at large, from what I've read.

I definitely think there is a place for coaching and helping men who want to be more successful at engaging with and relate to women, and those do exist out there. I think it is needed, given how many young men are pretty beaten down with these cheap yet isolating psychologically poisonous means of regulating their stress (porn, gaming, etc), not that that's going to fix what's disharmonious in a life like that on its own.

With how much the 4D STS have been trying to disrupt the formation of cohesive and loving families by getting the sexes at eachother's throats, any cultural trend of helping people live their lives counter to this agenda will by the law of averages start to attract vectors to twist it 180 degrees back on itself. Either extreme feminist misandry, or this "camgirl" porn magnate wannabe misogyny, neither is about learning to cultivate wholesome and positive relationships with the opposite sex.
 
Beau said:
This story has been making the rounds on Twitter. It's a leak of a chat between a "men's coach" and his followers. Some nasty people being attracted to that scene
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I doubt that this guy who calls himself MrLottaHoes on twitter, brags about being a pimp, and promises on the sales page for his group coaching to teach you how to make money by pimping women on onlyfans is misleading any otherwise well meaning young men into being abusive towards women.

It's interesting, however, that it took a woman to call him out on being a pimp and a sexual predator. The only men I see engaging with any of his tweets are just butthurt that he called men who wear glasses dorks. Obvious engagement bait to get more views and free marketing.
 
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