ElizabethDempsey
Jedi
Re: The Work by Katey Brien
Her name is Byron Katie.
Her name is Byron Katie.
Staying in Your Own Business
I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's. (For me, the word God means “reality.” Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that's out of my control, your control, and everyone else's control, I call that God's business.)
Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, “You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business.
When I'm worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God's business.
If I am mentally in your business or in God's business, the effect is separation. I noticed this early in 1986. When I mentally went into my mother's business, for example, with a thought like “My mother should understand me,” I immediately experienced a feeling of loneliness. And I realized that every time in my life that I had felt hurt or lonely, I had been in someone else's business.
If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We're both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn't work.
To think that I know what's best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what's right for me? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you.
If you understand the three kinds of business enough to stay in your own business, it could free your life in a way that you can't even imagine. The next time you're feeling stress or discomfort, ask yourself whose business you're in mentally, and you may burst out laughing! That question can bring you back to yourself.
And you may come to see that you've never really been present, that you've been mentally living in other people's business all your life. Just to notice that you're in someone else's business can bring you back to your own wonderful self.
Source: _http://www.thework.com/downloads/little_book/English_LB.pdf (page 4 of 22)
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Byron Kathleen Reid, buiseness woman, mother living in high desert in South Karolina, got depression in her thirties. Within ten years her depression got worse and Katie, how she's called, spent almost two years hardly moving from bed, she was plunged in suicidal thoughts. Than, one day, from the depth of her despair, she experienced changing life realisation.
Katie had noticed that when she was believing in something to be or should be different that it was ("My husband should love me more", "My kids should appreciate me more") she suffered, and when she was not believing in those thoughts, she felt calm. She realised, that this which caused her depressed, was not her surrounding world but her convictions on her sourrounding world.
Quote taken from www.thework.org.pl from lesson 1 - how the work (by Byron Katie) was originated
Laura said:Actually, looking at the process she is talking about here: http://www.thework.com/index.asp , it doesn't look like a bad thing at all! If some esoteric ideas were blended in there, it would be a kicker. But as it is, for the average person, this is excellent.
I've read it again, and it's definitively a relevant critique !I just stumbled upon a critique of BK's "Work" :
A Critique of Byron Katie's The Work
Is Byron Katie’s method known as The Work harmful? Some believe so. There are numerous instances of Katie on stage blaming sexual abuse victims, denying racism, stifling efforts for social change, denying the reality of abuse and accusing people of things they didn’t do. It’s all donegurumag.com