Unique testimony of a women diagnosed with dissociative identity disorders

hesperides

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
I just came across this yt in which a woman explains how she has been experiencing her life in the company of 11 personalities, or alter-ego although she doesn´t like the term, and how she´s managing herself out of this labyrinth. At around 40', she wilfully let one of her three years old personality take over for about 10 min., although she´s aware in the background of everything the kid is doing and saying to the interviewer.

I think her testimony has a lot in common with Laura´s course of knowledge and being, but I must say I´m rather impressed witnessing such phenomena for the first time. It also gives me goose bumps where people might end up after having suffered serious traumas, and that´s without mentioning how these kind of disorders are treated by doctors and the public alone.

 

Jenn

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
Thanks for sharing, it was interesting but kind of sad to watch.

To hear that identities can have their own health conditions independent of the "host" for lack of a better term, is mind boggling to me.

I know the move "Split" was a hollywood dramatized version of DID but it did touch on the fact that different identities have their own physiological make up. It makes me think if one identity has diabetes and has to take say, metformin to lower blood glucose, what effect would that have on identities that didn't have diabetes, does the medication even exist in their body...

Here's some more info I found on the internet:

Optical differences in cases of multiple personality disorder.-
"The test on the equality of the two covariance matrices showed that the two groups were significantly different (p less than .05). That is, MPD subjects had significantly more variability in visual functioning across alter personalities than did control subjects. "
Probing the Enigma of Multiple Personality -

When Timmy drinks orange juice he has no problem. But Timmy is just one of close to a dozen personalities who alternate control over a patient with multiple personality disorder. And if those other personalities drink orange juice, the result is a case of hives.

The hives will occur even if Timmy drinks orange juice and another personality appears while the juice is still being digested. What's more, if Timmy comes back while the allergic reaction is present, the itching of the hives will cease immediately, and the water-filled blisters will begin to subside.
 

Hi_Henry

Jedi Master
. What's more, if Timmy comes back while the allergic reaction is present, the itching of the hives will cease immediately, and the water-filled blisters will begin to subside.
That is a powerful statement regarding what it means to be a human. In other words, we know nothing about ourselves.
 

Bluefyre

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
I want to respond to this post, having an inside track so to speak, on DID. I don't like the word "disorder". The whole phenomenon is a very create survival response to horrendous abuse and trauma, not a disorder. I've watched quite a few videos about DID and read a lot of books over the past four years. One of the most helpful was Internal Family Systems Therapy by Richard Schwartz in helping me gain knowledge and come to terms with what was happening with me in concrete terms. There is so little understanding of how the brain/mind works but it's growing all the time.

I had many episode of missing time throughout my life and kept them hidden, even from myself and swept under the proverbial carpet until I ended up in hospital four years ago when my neighbour witnessed an "episode" and called 911. I couldn't tell him what day it was or where I worked and couldn't stop violently shaking. I came back to my conscious self four hours later with no memory of how I ended up in hospital, in a gown, couldn't remember what day it was. On a humourous note, I was relieved when the nurse asked me if I could tell her what month it was. Good thing she didn't ask me what day it was.

The great blessing in all of this is having been on the forum and introduced to the Work years before and the idea of the little i's. I have come to see the parts that fractured off as a more extreme end of that spectrum. Unlike the woman in the video I set upon a course to recover memories, the events that sent these precious little "kids" into exile, to the shadow place, as they call it. I made a conscious choice to take responsibility in a way that some people cannot, to uncover, face, and process these memories with the strength of me in the present, the adult, using EMDR first of all with a very compassionate therapist. She commented many times how I would not back down. I had to KNOW. Unfortunately, she did not have any experience with DID but did provide a safe place and a presence for me to work through so much. Looking back I was re-traumatized to a large degree but I do not regret the process. How could I leave these traumatized parts to carry the burden any longer? In retrospect, it took at least two years of doing EE regularly to open the pathways(?) for the first memories to surface.

It's hard to put into words the feeling of fried circuits when I came back from missing time. As I worked at building new pathways I would still have intense flashbacks and had a couple of times when I missed a week of work because my nervous system was so overwhelmed, but no matter the intensity, I held on to the present while holding the terror stored in my body, becoming the responsible adult the parts had never known before. Luckily my supervisors were sympathetic when I gave them a thumbnail of what was going on, plus years of being a conscientious, hard-working employee, they cut me some slack.

NeurOptimal has been so helpful. The universe put a trainer in my path who is very familiar with DID, having used NO for 6 years at addiction clinics. She has seen it all and is so matter-of-fact about the whole business, asking if "anyone came out" after a session. From the outset of coming to terms with my mental processes, I determined that I could integrate, that it was not a lifelong sentence while not pressuring any part of me to integrate and "disappear". They are all parts of me. I like the analogy of the porcelain vase. When it is shattered, it can be glued back together and the repaired vase is much stronger than the original, although the cracks will always be visible. My cracks are on the inside and constant reminders of the power of being present with my thoughts and emotions. It's a fine line to walk and what has been a tremendous help is the much wider scope of this forum, the AIMs and my place in it, the one small drop in an ocean. Knowledge protects.

I have always been reticent to talk about this. There was a great deal of shame. The more I learn, the more knowledge I gain, that feeling of being a crazy freak lessens and I experience more acceptance of the strength it took to survive and joy and appreciation for the courage and tenacity of all of the parts of me that brought me to this point. I hope I don't sound melodramatic, but a balance of appreciation without self-importance. Most people on this planet are traumatized to one degree or another as Heller describes in Healing Developmental Trauma. It has been such a learning experience and I no longer need to hide. Time to come out of the closet. I feel such gratitude for the creativity and strength that got me here, the forum and the DCM within me.

I hope this makes sense. It's a thumbnail, from the inside looking out.
 

Breo

Jedi Master
FOTCM Member
I don't like the word "disorder". The whole phenomenon is a very create survival response to horrendous abuse and trauma, not a disorder. I've watched quite a few videos about DID and read a lot of books over the past four years. One of the most helpful was Internal Family Systems Therapy by Richard Schwartz in helping me gain knowledge and come to terms with what was happening with me in concrete terms. There is so little understanding of how the brain/mind works but it's growing all the time.
Hallo Bluefire,
I can relay to your post indeed. Thank you for sharing these painful experiences.

It also took me decades to realize that my scattered/missing little i's have such a strong independent influence on my overall being. And I am in the middle of uncovering more and more aspects of them. Also the concept of the 'Internal Family System" introduced by the forum was my first step of raising my awareness and being able to observe.

Finally I understood that the scattered self needs as you said "a consciously choice" and conscious help "to collect these precious little kids" out of their dark prison. This set free in me so much motivation to search for them and take care of the well being of my internal family.

Yes, in the process there are a lot of flashbacks and learning to accept when the system is overwhelmed to take it slowly and baby steps. I also for far too long was full of guilt and shame of being stuck with no idea of how to get out of it, adding more and more pressure. Day by day I am learning how to release that tremendous blocked energy behind multiple serious trauma so that it does not overwhelm the scattered system.

It takes safe places in different kinds of therapy. NeurOptimal for me too seems to integrate all the different approaches and more than anything the whole body of Work of the Forum.

Since the last Cs session, I also wonder a lot about our ancestors influence, like how the scattered parts might outlive eg a predators/ victims inheritence? And how to find/connect to healthy ancestors, if they historically cannot be found?

I like the analogy of the porcelain vase. When it is shattered, it can be glued back together and the repaired vase is much stronger than the original, although the cracks will always be visible. My cracks are on the inside and constant reminders of the power of being present with my thoughts and emotions. It's a fine line to walk and what has been a tremendous help is the much wider scope of this forum, the AIMs and my place in it, the one small drop in an ocean. Knowledge protects.
👍❤👍
 

Chu

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
Thanks for sharing this, Hesperides. It really is amazing that a person can survive in this world, and recover from such level of trauma, or at least come to live as normally as possible. The mind is incredible in its potential of reaching such complex defense mechanisms. Yet, the latter can be so harmful to the adult, and only a few are able to overcome this splitting.

I've only listened to min. 20 so far, but it reminded me of the book Sybil, by Flora Rheta Schreiber. I read it last year and could hardly put it down. It was such a sad story, and yet such an admirable thing for the patient to work through. I would recommend it to anyone interested in this topic.

Bluefire, I'm so sorry to hear that you went through all of that, but so glad that you are doing so much better, that NO is helping and that you found such a good trainer (and the therapist in the past). I liked the analogy of the porcelain. I think that describes a lot of people. Some people may be "tougher to crack", others cracked more or faster. Some may have a crack or two, while others many. Some cracks are already fixed, others not. But these cracks show, and they remind us of what we went through in order to survive at some point and, if processed and integrated, can be a source of strength as well. Porcelain can be beautiful too, in spite of the cracks. OSIT.

Breo, I just saw your post, and the same goes to you. Gogogo!


 

aimarok

Jedi
FOTCM Member
It's strange that Devon living inside Encina is 26 years old, and Encina tells that she got all her personalities in her childhood. Her theory of personality fragmenting into pieces doesn't come along well with this fact. There's not a single word about spirit attachments during all the video. It seems that Encina just didn't try to meet a SRT specialist or just doing a regressive hypnosis. She might be surprised to know who all her "friends" are. William Baldwin suggested that almost everyone has at least one attachment and with such a diagnosis it's highly probably that Encina has the exact problem.
 

hesperides

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
It makes me think if one identity has diabetes and has to take say, metformin to lower blood glucose, what effect would that have on identities that didn't have diabetes, does the medication even exist in their body...
I don´t have the answer either, it´s an interesting question.

I guess that the side effects of strong meds only affect the person with DID, although they will likely interfere in the way she and her guests are relating to each others. From what the woman explains to the interviewer, the more unsafe she feels, the more some of her identities will spring forward to protect her, like it happened in her more recent abusive relationships where these identities would easily come out each day. So I imagine that whenever the strength of the woman´s awareness lessens, in this case due to the meds, any identities might take the leadership in an attempt to save, let´s say, their mum AND/OR their cozy home.
 
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BrendaH

Jedi
I found some videos on YouTube about DID:

Multiple Personality Disorder: Real psychiatric interview with Eve White, Eve Black and Jane

This video is translated to 15 different languages, you just have to activate the subtitles/CC.

In the description of the video you can read: “This is an unrehearsed interview of an unusual case of multiple personality. This case study introduces Eve White, Eve Black, and Jane, three separate and contrasting personalities presiding in the same body. Shows the psychiatrist, Dr. Thigpen, eliciting each personality.”

The woman in the video is Christine "Chris" Costner Sizemore. Something curious about this case is that one of her psychiatrists was Hervey M. Cleckey, who wrote with Chris' other psychiatrist, Corbett H. Thigpen, a book about her life. The book in question is called The Three Faces of Eve and there's also a movie based on the book with the same name.


The second video is Living With 12 Personalities (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and is about Lauren Stott. Subtitles are in English and Spanish.

From the description: “Lauren lives with dissociative identity disorder and has twelve distinct personalities. Each manifests as a voice inside her head that Lauren describes as “angels and devils.” After proper therapy Lauren is now able to cope with her condition and self-advocate. She wants the world to know that auditory hallucinations do not make her any less of a human.”

You can read more about her case here and there you can watch another video where she talks about the stigmas around DID and what it's like to live with this disorder.


The third video is called Living Life With Dissociative Identity Disorder (subtitles are only in English and Spanish):

Wyn and her alters talk about what her life is like with DID, she has 10 different identities including herself. The video was uploaded on her own YouTube channel: The Entropy System.


There are a lot of videos about DID on youtube, all the ones I saw were very good. I've always been interested in learning about this disorder, it's confusing and amazing at the same time what the mind is capable of doing and the effects that trauma can have on a person. Hopefully one day we’ll be able to understand in depth the functioning of the mind.
 
I lived 15 years with someone that had at least 6 that I could identify distinctly. The trauma she went through as a child by her father who was the Leader of lard religious group and a pastor of at least 4 churckes that I new of began doing unspeakable things to her, the oldest, and 4 of the younger siblings may age 3-4. Anyway, one of her identies told me all about it but she never remmbered. I was told by a very respected psychologist that a resolution for her was almost impossible because none of her others knew about each other.

It has been 15 years this year that I have let at least 93% of her go inside of me. My love went very deep and we had a beautiful child that is now 31. I left them when she was 14. I was abused by two of them but stayed, I think to protect my step daughter from her grandfather. It took it’s toll on me in ways that were unbarable but I got away. I believe she was also a psychopath but I am not completly sure. Her father definately is. M. Scott Peck’s book People of the Lie told me that part.

Love to all out there that have survived this type of marrige. It takes very hard work to thrive. I am at the beginning of having this type of life. Jordan Peterson is the reason.
 
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