Walking the Tightrope

[BrandonD]

Hi BrandonD!

I think there is a difference between asking personal questions to the C's and posting personal questions in the forum.
When you ask the C's for some of your personal belongings it is useless for the others (at least at 99%, I guess) and the energy always changes, as we have seen.

On the other hand when you post personal questions in the forum you might give an opportunity to others to learn and understand from your situation.
And it might be helpful for you to describe your situation more in detail, something I learned, too. But in a way you have done that already.

Wishing you success on your way! :)

I have been trying to describe my personal situation in more detail, but it has been extremely difficult. Not because I don't want to share, but because I can't encapsulate it. Say there is a person and you have a large panorama of feelings relating to them. It is difficult to start describing them to someone who may not be familiar with the situation because any one facet would give a distorted impression of that situation. I would like to just say it all at once.

I guess ultimately this question about taking care of myself vs taking care of others is regarding my romantic relationship. I am having a difficult time even seeing it clearly. I want to do what is right, but I don't know what that is. It is a complex thing.

I have been with this person for a little over 5 years, this is my longest relationship. There is a dissatisfaction that has been brewing for a while. It seems there are selfish reasons to stay and unselfish reasons to stay. There are also selfish and unselfish reasons to leave. I am having a hard time finding the simple core that I can point to and say "that is clearly the right thing to do."

That is another reason I was trying to formulate the question in abstract terms as well, I thought that maybe I could find some way to superimpose an abstract answer over my situation and understand what I should do.

Is this relationship ultimately unhealthy for me? I guess that would be the bottom line, but I cannot really tell.

 

[gdpetti]

A little personal info: I grew up with a very submissive nature. This has led to repercussions in my life that I'm sure others can relate to: feelings of exploitation and anger, becoming withdrawn from others in order to protect one's self, confused sense of personal identity, etc. I've conquered much of this problem, but of course it has left a mark upon my life, one that I might always have to contend with.

Currently, I have close daily involvement with 2 people who have much more dominant personalities than myself. I care for them both but I often feel taken advantage of or drained, with all the accompanying negative feelings.

Sounds like the main character, and his situation, in 'The Celestine Prophecy'.

 

[Nienna]

Hi BrandonD!

I think there is a difference between asking personal questions to the C's and posting personal questions in the forum.
When you ask the C's for some of your personal belongings it is useless for the others (at least at 99%, I guess) and the energy always changes, as we have seen.

On the other hand when you post personal questions in the forum you might give an opportunity to others to learn and understand from your situation.
And it might be helpful for you to describe your situation more in detail, something I learned, too. But in a way you have done that already.

Wishing you success on your way! :)

I have been trying to describe my personal situation in more detail, but it has been extremely difficult. Not because I don't want to share, but because I can't encapsulate it. Say there is a person and you have a large panorama of feelings relating to them. It is difficult to start describing them to someone who may not be familiar with the situation because any one facet would give a distorted impression of that situation. I would like to just say it all at once.

I guess ultimately this question about taking care of myself vs taking care of others is regarding my romantic relationship. I am having a difficult time even seeing it clearly. I want to do what is right, but I don't know what that is. It is a complex thing.

I have been with this person for a little over 5 years, this is my longest relationship. There is a dissatisfaction that has been brewing for a while. It seems there are selfish reasons to stay and unselfish reasons to stay. There are also selfish and unselfish reasons to leave. I am having a hard time finding the simple core that I can point to and say "that is clearly the right thing to do."

That is another reason I was trying to formulate the question in abstract terms as well, I thought that maybe I could find some way to superimpose an abstract answer over my situation and understand what I should do.

Is this relationship ultimately unhealthy for me? I guess that would be the bottom line, but I cannot really tell.

The Cs have said that we are here to learn lessons. And this may be a lesson(s) for you to learn. If this is the case, the Cs wouldn't give you an answer to this, anyway, as they would see it as keeping you from learning your lesson.

And, as far as I can see, this is a lesson for you to learn. The best way to gain knowledge is to network with like-minded people, and this is the best place for doing that if you have the same goals and aims as those here on the forum do.

By having to network, it could help you to be able to better see the situation you are in because, by sharing what you are able to, it helps for you, through your writing, and us to get a better picture of what the problem(s) may be.

 

[naorma]

Hi BrandonD!

I think there is a difference between asking personal questions to the C's and posting personal questions in the forum.
When you ask the C's for some of your personal belongings it is useless for the others (at least at 99%, I guess) and the energy always changes, as we have seen.

On the other hand when you post personal questions in the forum you might give an opportunity to others to learn and understand from your situation.
And it might be helpful for you to describe your situation more in detail, something I learned, too. But in a way you have done that already.

Wishing you success on your way! :)

I have been trying to describe my personal situation in more detail, but it has been extremely difficult. Not because I don't want to share, but because I can't encapsulate it. Say there is a person and you have a large panorama of feelings relating to them. It is difficult to start describing them to someone who may not be familiar with the situation because any one facet would give a distorted impression of that situation. I would like to just say it all at once.

I guess ultimately this question about taking care of myself vs taking care of others is regarding my romantic relationship. I am having a difficult time even seeing it clearly. I want to do what is right, but I don't know what that is. It is a complex thing.

I have been with this person for a little over 5 years, this is my longest relationship. There is a dissatisfaction that has been brewing for a while. It seems there are selfish reasons to stay and unselfish reasons to stay. There are also selfish and unselfish reasons to leave. I am having a hard time finding the simple core that I can point to and say "that is clearly the right thing to do."

That is another reason I was trying to formulate the question in abstract terms as well, I thought that maybe I could find some way to superimpose an abstract answer over my situation and understand what I should do.

Is this relationship ultimately unhealthy for me? I guess that would be the bottom line, but I cannot really tell.

The Cs have said that we are here to learn lessons. And this may be a lesson(s) for you to learn. If this is the case, the Cs wouldn't give you an answer to this, anyway, as they would see it as keeping you from learning your lesson.

And, as far as I can see, this is a lesson for you to learn. The best way to gain knowledge is to network with like-minded people, and this is the best place for doing that if you have the same goals and aims as those here on the forum do.

By having to network, it could help you to be able to better see the situation you are in because, by sharing what you are able to, it helps for you, through your writing, and us to get a better picture of what the problem(s) may be.

hi BrandonD!

Thank you very much for your description of your situation. Now I can understand a little bit more of your problem. Have been in a similar situation, not so hard as your situation looks like, but also very heavy.

What came to my mind was a sentence from a friend: "If you have two possibilities - think of the third one!"

The other thing was: Spinning - it helps, to find your way.

:)

 

[zak]

Hi BrandonD!

I think there is a difference between asking personal questions to the C's and posting personal questions in the forum.
When you ask the C's for some of your personal belongings it is useless for the others (at least at 99%, I guess) and the energy always changes, as we have seen.

On the other hand when you post personal questions in the forum you might give an opportunity to others to learn and understand from your situation.
And it might be helpful for you to describe your situation more in detail, something I learned, too. But in a way you have done that already.

Wishing you success on your way! :)

I have been trying to describe my personal situation in more detail, but it has been extremely difficult. Not because I don't want to share, but because I can't encapsulate it. Say there is a person and you have a large panorama of feelings relating to them. It is difficult to start describing them to someone who may not be familiar with the situation because any one facet would give a distorted impression of that situation. I would like to just say it all at once.

I guess ultimately this question about taking care of myself vs taking care of others is regarding my romantic relationship. I am having a difficult time even seeing it clearly. I want to do what is right, but I don't know what that is. It is a complex thing.

I have been with this person for a little over 5 years, this is my longest relationship. There is a dissatisfaction that has been brewing for a while. It seems there are selfish reasons to stay and unselfish reasons to stay. There are also selfish and unselfish reasons to leave. I am having a hard time finding the simple core that I can point to and say "that is clearly the right thing to do."

That is another reason I was trying to formulate the question in abstract terms as well, I thought that maybe I could find some way to superimpose an abstract answer over my situation and understand what I should do.

Is this relationship ultimately unhealthy for me? I guess that would be the bottom line, but I cannot really tell.

Hello BrandonD,
Maybe those passages of the book "Unholy Hungers" of Barbara E. Hort can interest you :
"The inner Beloved is an archetypal energy that usually appears to us in the form of a personn. We may sense the inner Beloved in a dream or a story or a film or an individual, but the archetype's essence is usually a composite of several images. if we want to know the shape of our inner Beloved, we must first do what my friend did-pull together and contemplate several images of the beloved that we have projected. Not all such images are the romantic kind; they may be parental, professional, even political. For any type of projection, we should focus on the images of all the people whom we have felt could fill us with self-respect and self-love. Although they may seem unrelated at first, the energies we perceive in them will eventually coalesce into a coherent, though complex, entity who will symbolize our personal archetype of the Beloved."

"Once my friend became acquainted with her true inner Beloved...She now look a bit of time each day to become her inner Beloved, and another bit of time to commune with her inner Belove. Again, this initially felt to her like an exercice in perpetual fantasizing, but then she said to herself, "Isn't this what i do anyway when i am smitten with an external lover? I'm constantly thinking, 'What would he say, think, do, feel, or advice in any given situation, about any given topic? And how would i respond?" Only this time, my friend was not imagining how an external person might respond. This time her Beloved actually was all she imagined."

"In whatever form or venue our inner Beloved is reflected, he or she bears the same attitude towards us. The Beloved is a being who honors our sacredness, inspires and protects us, offers us dignity and devotion, and helps us to transform ourselves into the people were we born to be."

It made me to understand that i cannot give all to the others, i must to keep a little for myself, and even i must start by myself, because i cannot give more than i have, it's a kind of auto-destruction.

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