What can be said to the dying, if they ask. From this forums perspective.

[Harold]

Hello All, Harold here with a situation that weighs heavy on my mind and heart. I could use an objective view from the forum.
Through face book, I have re-connected with an old friend. I first joined face book in Sept. and re-connected with this friend in Oct. We spoke on the phone in Dec. where he informed me he has prostate cancer. He sounded great, I got the impression that he just found out and that the prognosis was good.

I called him about 10 days ago and he sounded very bad, I could hardly understand him. The next day I went to see him. When I walked in the room I was not prepared for what I saw. During my 2 hour visit he told me that 2 weeks ago, he was told he had 3 to 6 months to live, I gather he immediately stopped the kemo as it was making his life miserable, and he wanted a higher quality of life in the end.

I spoke to him today and he sounded much better. He made a comment about a good friend of his, in a similar situation, who choose no kemo at all is still alive and feeling great 2 years later. He sounded in higher spirits. I asked if it would be ok with him and his wife if I came by again later this week, he really liked the idea and said any time he would like that.

He and I have been out of touch for about 12 years. He originally, was my boss, mentor and co-owner where I worked. We became friends soon after I started, as we were very close. 2 years into working there abouts, I left the company as I was very sick, and as it turned out was sortly thereafter given only weeks or months to live. I dont think I have told him that. About a year and a half after I left his company, his partner and co-owner saw me working in a pizza hut, we got talking, I told him about my clean bill of health etc. and he offered me my old job back. I went on to be very successful for a number of years until another illness changed my life yet again forever.

My point is that when I left his company he was looking at death, (he senced it and told me later) they gave me this excellent second chance, now Im looking at death now and with someone who is very important to me. I learned so much from him, I want to share one story about this man. During the Korean War, he was stationed in North Korea, just a poor kid from Buffalo, teaching North Korean soldiers to use flame throwers. His wife had a nervous breakdown, he recieved a pass to tend to her in Buffalo. The paper-work got lost, he was charged with AWOL and sentenced to 5 years in a army prison. While in prison, he and some mates dug a tunnel to a near by barn and started a underground newspaper. Printing press and all. Very anti-war etc. True pioneers. The whole thing was found out, he escaped and has been living in Canada ever since. I was always under the impression that he and I shared a certain connection, we both could talk about philosophy and how the world really works etc. He shared similar sentiments with me.

Now I am thinking as to how I can be of service to him and his family. I just feel so out of my league here. He seems to really like that we are back in touch. I knew his family somewhat, I went camping with him and his son and went over for diner a bunch of times. We were friends, but that changed the last time I got sick and left his company (for a second time)at the same time but for other reasons.(again I actually did not know how sick I was at the time when I left) But I just dont know how approprite it is to walk into someones life like that, In that situation. I've been out of the industry since that last illness and have been relatively healthy ever since. One of my gigs is foraging local herbs, I brought up in conversation with my dying friend some of these herbs and he was familiar with them and said he would really like some. In anticipation of this I had some with me and gave him a generous amount. His sons wife lives with him and has the exact same illines I had the last time, which is how I got into it in the first place. So they both were very thank-ful.

To be honest, if he is gonna die and I keep visiting him, I know the topic of after-life will come up eventually, we were like that befor. In our conversation today he was a little philosophical. What do I do in this situation, knowing what I know? ...."Well gee buddy, your gonna go to fifth desity, where you will have time to reflect......?!?" Like is there a article on what to say to open minded people who are dying and want to know stuff about it? I dont even know if it is correct of me to think this but if it comes up I dont want to 'mis-inform' a dying person. On the other hand I dont want to avoid him either as he seems to enjoy the visits. And I do too.

So any help with this situation would be appreciated. I don't think I am ego driven in this situation as I have a real hard time calling him, and make myself do it. And I was a little disturbed when I saw him last time(he looked like he did not have long to live) and I went out later with a couple of other friends for a couple beers, which is really unlike me. In closing I am very glad that we coincedently met up recently, he was always a good influence in my life and a good friend. He gave so much more to me than I to him. I got 2 2nd chances at life(at least), he himself gave me a second chance professionally, I just see a great guy who is loosing his life, his house is foreclosing, he supported a wife, daughter, grand daughter and a daughter in-law(who is very sick too). His son is out of the picture in not a good way. I just dont want to make their fragile situation any worse, only more comfortable.

Cheers,
Harold

 

[shijing]

I'm sorry to hear that your friend is doing so poorly, Harold, and I know it's difficult to see someone you care about in his position, facing their own mortality. From your description above, it sounds like you are making a positive difference in his life right now, and I'm sure that no matter what you say specifically, your general presence and support are appreciated at what must be a frightening time in his life.

To be honest, if he is gonna die and I keep visiting him, I know the topic of after-life will come up eventually, we were like that befor. In our conversation today he was a little philosophical. What do I do in this situation, knowing what I know? ...."Well gee buddy, your gonna go to fifth desity, where you will have time to reflect......?!?" Like is there a article on what to say to open minded people who are dying and want to know stuff about it? I dont even know if it is correct of me to think this but if it comes up I dont want to 'mis-inform' a dying person. On the other hand I dont want to avoid him either as he seems to enjoy the visits. And I do too.

I don't think you should avoid him -- definitely not for this reason. I think that if I were in your situation, the first thing that I would do is ask him what he thinks may follow death, and frame the conversation accordingly -- that is probably a good way to be considerate of his feelings. If he sincerely asks what you think, I think it should be fine to tell him that you have looked into various things, and that one of the possibilities you are considering is the information discussed here. Remember that even Laura considers the C's information to be hypothetical at one level -- hence the need to confirm as much as possible via independent research -- so you can take that position too. You don't need to discuss the concept of 5D with any finality, but you can say that it is part of a larger framework which makes sense of a lot of different aspects of reality (if that is what you yourself feel, of course) which other traditions fail to do. Finally, remember that what he believes about the afterlife is his responsibility -- if he asks you to tell him your opinion, then that is his choice. When approached this way, I don't think you need to worry about "misinforming" him, because you aren't promising him that things are a certain way -- you're merely giving him your perspective to do with as he wishes.

 

[cholas]

Hi Harold,
Also sorry to hear of your friend's situation. I'd like to echo shijing's thoughts(and your own as well) in that being in the presence of your friend while he spends the last of his last time here(possibly), as likely being beneficial for you both.

My father left this realm due to prostate cancer and if there was one thing I tend to regret about our last hours together is that I wasted time/energy trying to push him,unsuccessfully, into 'cleansing mode'. In hindsight, that approach was not the best option, FWIW. I think this might be part of the 'give only what is asked of you' scenario.

Another friend is, as you have mentioned, doing fine after being diagnosed with the same ailment, but refusing chemo/drugs and instead working on changing, dramatically, his programs/patterns.

Seems to me just being there as a true friend, without judgment, is a very helpful thing to do, imho. And, if I might offer, be very wary of trying to change them.

 

[Harold]

Hello Shijing and Cholas,
I woke up this morning, it is the first thing on my mind. I made a tea and came right to the computer, to see if anyone has replyed. Right now its 7:30am sun morn.
I told him I would drop by this week again, every second counts in this mans life.

Topic Summary
Posted on: Yesterday at 11:50:41 PMPosted by: cholas
Insert Quote
Hi Harold,
Also sorry to hear of your friend's situation. I'd like to echo shijing's thoughts(and your own as well) in that being in the presence of your friend while he spends the last of his last time here(possibly), as likely being beneficial for you both.

I feel somewhat guilty for this fact that I will benefit, if so be it... great, but how do I determine if this is beneficial for him? I want to definitively conclude that 'I' am doing this for him. Sure I can see a benefit for me, but that is not my intention, as far as I can tell. I can look death in the eye and benefit from seeing him from a whole perspective. I mean as far as I can tell, I am just a good friend who remembers how much this man has helped me and many others. I want to make sure I am not part of my programmed ponerized life, in this situation. That my negative influences don't have 'other' plans for this situation, as I mentioned, his family situation seems to be very fragile.
I would suggest that I am good at seeing influences in my life, I have years of experience with this, but I have learned so much in the last month or so(I read at least an hour to 4 hours a day of the Wave and everything that is suggested to me and SOTT material etc. I am truly devoted to learning and applying what I learn) In this situation, I do not feel that I have room for mistakes, and want to make as few as possible in this situation. I dont want to look back on this and see that it was my ego running the show all along, this is not acceptable to me, especially in this particular situation.

Topic Summary
Posted on: Yesterday at 11:50:41 PMPosted by: cholas
My father left this realm due to prostate cancer and if there was one thing I tend to regret about our last hours together is that I wasted time/energy trying to push him,unsuccessfully, into 'cleansing mode'. In hindsight, that approach was not the best option, FWIW. I think this might be part of the 'give only what is asked of you' scenario

could you expand... please on 'cleansing mode', I am unfamiliar with this term.
and what is 'FWIW' too?

Posted by: Shijing
From your description above, it sounds like you are making a positive difference in his life right now, and I'm sure that no matter what you say specifically, your general presence and support are appreciated at what must be a frightening time in his life.

Posted by: cholas
Seems to me just being there as a true friend, without judgment, is a very helpful thing to do, imho.

Your views here are very appreciated, I think this too, but this seems to me like this is a situation that could be a set up, in the bigger picture. I really feel the need to be hyper vigilant in this situation, but I dont know what to look for. Again my concern is not to disrupt this family, which I do not think I am doing, but I am getting this sort of sense to be very careful in this situation. Too, I am keeping an eye out for any attachment to this situation, is this a proper concern?, again I say I feel over my head in this situation.

Posted by: Shijing
If he sincerely asks what you think, I think it should be fine to tell him that you have looked into various things, and that one of the possibilities you are considering is the information discussed here.

ok here I get really uncomfortable.... I am not comfortable with sharing this information. Like where do I start? Too, through out my life, I do not have what I would consider...a good track record with sharing this type of information. At least from my point of view. And now I am faced with a situation where this information could really be of help and I have very little good past experiences to go on here. Like I said, if there is an article on how to broach this situation, it would be very helpful.

Well I look forward to your replys, thanks so much for the feedback.

Cheers,
Harold

 

[Mrs. Peel]

could you expand... please on 'cleansing mode', I am unfamiliar with this term.
and what is 'FWIW' too?

Hi Harold,

FWIW is a short way of writing "For What It's Worth". As for the "cleansing mode", I interpret that to mean that cholas was trying to give advice that his father had not asked for nor wanted, but cholas can clarify on that. Sometimes, when a person comes upon the Cs information for the first time, their first instinct is to try and spread the info around to everybody they know. I tried that years ago, only to find that my New Age friends (who I thought would be the most open to it) thought I was crazy and didn't want to hear about any "negative alien stuff."

ok here I get really uncomfortable.... I am not comfortable with sharing this information. Like where do I start? Too, through out my life, I do not have what I would consider...a good track record with sharing this type of information. At least from my point of view. And now I am faced with a situation where this information could really be of help and I have very little good past experiences to go on here. Like I said, if there is an article on how to broach this situation, it would be very helpful.

Here, I think Shijing's advise to "ask him what he thinks may follow death, and frame the conversation accordingly" is the way to go. Is he very religious and/or attached to the idea of some "heaven or hell"? Above all, remember to honor his free will. Even if it means free will to keep his belief in that heaven or hell.

 

[Cyre2067]

Hey Harold, sorry to hear about your friend. I just wanted to echo Shijing's point of view. It helps to let them lead the conversation, practice your active listening skills. Try to see what his perspective is by asking gentle questions (if the topic comes up at all).

Try not to let the situation weigh too heavily on yourself. You're just being a friend, offering a comforting presence. You don't have to educate anyone on density levels, aliens, or any of it. If it comes up, and he seems genuinely interested in your ideas feel free to preface it with a disclaimer, "well this is just something i stumbled across on the web..."

Also one of my mini-lessons the universe has been driving home recently is 'stop worrying about the outcome' or letting go from any attachment to any particular outcome. Like you may find yourself pondering how you want the a situation to flow, as soon as you catching yourself doing that just stop and plop yourself back into the moment.

Just be yourself and observe what ya can.

 

[cholas]

Mrs. Peel is indeed spot-on there, Harold.

At the time of my father's passing, I was very 'full' of new information, much of it from the Cass work. I was also full of myself and although I was not asked, I frustratingly attempted to change him. Very ego-oriented on my part. In the end he did not want to change and fully trusted the doctors/big pharma to fix his predicament. Eventually I did drop the need to 'save' him and things smoothed out, but alas.....time wasted, lesson learned.

The value for myself in that particular experience was in uncovering my own programs. As I'm sure you can appreciate, being near someone dying of cancer, especially with the added 'doped up' influence, can be a rather trying situation. The experience carries with it many opportunities for growth for all involved, in my opinion.

 

[Nienna]

Hi Harold,

I am very sorry to hear about your friend.

And I agree 100% with Mrs. Peel. The best you can do is to keep him in a comfortable spot. Don't try to steer him in any direction, just let him steer himself.

Good luck and my thought are with you.

 

[Buddy]

Hi Harold.

I haven't had an opportunity to spend with a person the last few hours or moments of their life, so I'm not speaking from experience, but it does seem to me that often, the best way to serve the Universe and the 'God' in others is to set aside our own wants, needs and desires to say or do this or that in certain circumstances, and just be there for the other person no matter what. In the case of spending the last moments or hours of someone's life, just being there: your presence, support, concern and affection can possibly provide the comfort a person needs.

During conversations, if I don't really know the answer to certain questions, then sometimes all that can be expressed is honesty... to look at the person, and feel the helplessness because that is the reality of the situation (if it is).

I dont want to look back on this and see that it was my ego running the show all along, this is not acceptable to me, especially in this particular situation.

My ego is not known for thinking very deeply, so my answer is to make an effort to understand what it is that I am wanting to say or do, why I'm wanting to say or do it (what effect do I think it will have) and whether or not that is the best approach to use or whether another one would be better. It's not easy because my conditioned self is used to thinking and doing on a shallow basis, but it gets easier with practice.

This is my current understanding which may be too limited to be very helpful, so just consider it for what it may be worth. :)

 

[Gimpy]

ok here I get really uncomfortable.... I am not comfortable with sharing this information. Like where do I start? Too, through out my life, I do not have what I would consider...a good track record with sharing this type of information. At least from my point of view. And now I am faced with a situation where this information could really be of help and I have very little good past experiences to go on here. Like I said, if there is an article on how to broach this situation, it would be very helpful.

Well I look forward to your replys, thanks so much for the feedback.

Cheers,
Harold

I think just being there with him in companionship is enough. If he wants to talk about what comes after, just be yourself and be externally considerate. Don't worry so much about how to talk about it or what to say. Be there. People really feel that and its more of a comfort than words express.

 

[Alana]

I haven't had an opportunity to spend with a person the last few hours or moments of their life, so I'm not speaking from experience, but it does seem to me that often, the best way to serve the Universe and the 'God' in others is to set aside our own wants, needs and desires to say or do this or that in certain circumstances, and just be there for the other person no matter what. In the case of spending the last moments or hours of someone's life, just being there: your presence, support, concern and affection can possibly provide the comfort a person needs.

During conversations, if I don't really know the answer to certain questions, then sometimes all that can be expressed is honesty... to look at the person, and feel the helplessness because that is the reality of the situation (if it is).

I am in full agreement with the above, Harold. And i am very sorry to hear about your friend, and also your own struggles with health problems.

The advice you received from everyone this far, is excellent: Be there and listen. I just want to add, fwiw, that i can understand your difficulty very well. You want to help this great friend and you know it is a serious matter, so you don't want to make any mistakes, right? And then it's the fact that for most of us human beings, facing death approaching for a person we care about, reminds us of our own vulnerability and the finiteness of our existence, which are very uncomfortable feelings to come to terms with, especially since we are hypnotized into a bodycentric mindset and believe we are invincible Magicians.

I've been also reading the works of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross recently, a psychiatrist who, imo, is the most important writer out there on the subject of Death and Dying, and who learned about the needs of the dying first hand in her practice, and then shared them in volumes of books, so that she can teach the rest of us how to see and assist the people we care about, love and treat, in this vulnerable stage where they find themselves unprepared.

Ross' books are full of case studies and interviews with people who are in the same situation as your friend, and it seems that most people at this moment of their life need sincerity, support, someone to listen to them and see them as a whole human being.

If you want to learn more about it, these four books are inclusive of all her work (the top on the list is the one that i think will help you most at this time. If for any reason you can't afford it, let me know and i'll send you a copy):

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying: what the dying have to teach doctors, nurses, clergy and their own families
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, The Wheel of Life: a memoir of living and dying
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Death: the final stage of growth
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Living with Death and Dying

So now, what if your friend asks you about your beliefs in the afterlife? I agree with Shijing here, you can ask him then about his own beliefs. And if it comes to sharing what you think about it, you don't need to refer to 5D. But you can say that you read in this book The Wave (you don't even have to mention the title even) that the dying souls go to this place for contemplation and to review their last life, so that they can evaluate what lessons they need to learn and where to go from there on.

But the most important i think, is not what we read and learned about the afterlife, but what do we think deep down ourselves. Because if you just recite to him something you read but it is not "yours", it won't be your truth, it won't be authentic. I might be very wrong here, but this is how i would want someone to talk to me if i was facing my death, give me what's in their hearts, not parrot a passage from a book. So a truthful i don't know might be most preferred.

And i think that the best gift you can give him at this moment is to share the Eiriu Eolas program with him. You can give him the website link, or better yet, buy him a copy so he can listen to it in bed. I truly feel that this will help him the most.

I am also pasting below some C quotes, not so much to share with your friend, but for you to contemplate:

A: When one's body expires, the path taken is the one prescribed by the individual's consciousness and experiences/expectations.

980912
(C) I would like to ask a question. Immediately after, or shortly after, the death experience, do people tend to experience that which they have been led by their beliefs to expect?
A: Essentially, yes, but some people do not know, or presuppose anything of this. Therefore, for these souls, the experience is "purer."
Q: (C) What is the purer experience? What do they experience when they have no presupposition?
A: What have you heard about this?
Q: (C) A tunnel of light... a tunnel, a bright light, a loving being, and...
A: Wait... what about seeing one's "body?"
Q: (C) Okay, the first thing would be drifting above and seeing the body, and then seeing a tunnel and the light.
A: Yes, but there is not always a "loving being" awaiting. That is part of the presuppository material.
Q: (C) What was TKs experience?
A: Well, we must caution you that for those who presume "nothingness," there is usually a transitory period of total unconsciousness for preparatory and readjustment to 5th density purposes.
Q: (C) So, if you don't presuppose something, then you are just unconscious. (L) Or, if you presuppose nothingness, then... (C) Right, but that really surprises me because he had his own faith, but he did have a certain amount of faith. But...
A: Subject was unconscious prior to transition.
Q: (C) Oh, I see. That is what I thought. The doctor thinks he had an arrhythmia and his blood pressure dropped so low he passed out. Okay, what happens when a person has gone through what they have presupposed and experienced that, and are ready to go on to what really happens, THEN what happens?
A: Dreamlike state gradually merges with reality.
Q: (C) And what is the reality?
A: Entrance into 5th density.
Q: (C) What is that like?
A: Well, what do you think it is like, my dear?
Q: (C) Well if I say what I think it is like, then I am presupposing.
A: No, not necessarily.
Q: (L) When you are in 5th density, are you merged with your various soul essences so that you can perceive all of your extensions into other realities at different points in 'space-time,' and are you in...
A: That would be quite a kick in the butt, do you not think?
Q: (L) In what sense? You once said that when you are in 5th density that you are in a condition of 'timeless understanding.'
A: Yes.
Q: (L) And that you see and perceive in this timeless understanding condition, like a state of pure consciousness. Is that so?
A: Close.
Q: (L) Do you feel happiness, do you feel... well, I guess feel is the wrong term because you don't have anything to feel with...
A: Full range of emotional responses in profound clarity.
Q: (L) Would one say that being at 5th density was a pleasant experience, or just an intense one?
A: Intense, but not as you would imagine this.
Q: (C) I assume that it is intense without the negative aspects, that it would be good...
A: No. Negativity, yes that is there, but there is not the underlying fear of physiological damage that one perceives in third density due to genetic body response through hormonal brain swarms.
Q: (C) Okay, so what does one do in everyday life once one has become adjusted to 5th density?
A: "Everyday life" does not apply.
Q: (C) Take it as a term. (L) In other words, what does one do in 5th density? (C) Yeah, what is one's activity?
A: Consider it a sort of timeless pondering learning.
Q: (C) Do different people learn different things?
A: Of course, according to one's karmic resonance profile.
Q: (C) What is the mechanism of learning?
A: Natural attractive growth balance.
Q: (L) I guess it is just a finding of balance. (C) So, it is not a mental learning that we do here, but a sort of consciousness absorbing. Kind of like what we would like to do here, sleep on a book and absorb it? (L) Is that a good analogy?
A: No.
Q: (L) Help us out here. I liked it!
A: Well, Laura, picture a 5 dimensional screen.
Q: (L) I can't. I can't picture anything 5 dimensional.
A: Okay, then now you know what we are up against in the explanatory mode here!
Q: (C) But it is a sort of automatic transmission? (L) Or automatic function?
A: The interesting thing is the timelessness. This is why very recently "departed" souls are often "seen" by their loved ones, imparting incredible knowledge. There have even been cases where two souls were involved in 3rd density traumas together, and one instructs the other to go back, as it "is not your time yet."
Q: (C) So, that is how that one would know to tell the other, the timelessness factor, it was their 'time' and they got it immediately, so it would seem that for some people it is an instantaneous transition to 5th density. What determines a person's ability to cross into 5th density and assimilate the new state easily?
A: Vague.
Q: (C) It is a difficult question.
A: Re-ask please.
Q: (C) I am trying to re-form my question. (L) When such a case occurs, what distinguishes the one who is able to say 'go back, it's not your time'.
A: C**** ask.
Q: (L) Sorry, I'll shut up. (C) We have discussed the people who have presuppositions and who have played out the experiences they expect. What mind-set, or what presupposition should a person have to adapt most quickly and easily to the reality of 5th density?
A: Well, that is in itself a presupposition. But, let us just say an open- minded researcher would do best. But all do well ultimately.
Q: (L) When S. had her cardiac arrest. It was 20 minutes before the paramedics got there, so she was brain dead even when they revived her and put her on life support. I was at the hospital talking to her and trying to bring her back. I gave her Reiki and everything. So, we decided to ask if we could communicate with her and the C's said they would have to step aside for us to talk to her. We talked to her, and it was a very convincing conversation. But, at the time we were talking to her, she said something about a radio station and news in New Zealand and that we would hear soon and something about 'don't hurt the young girl!' She told me several things that convinced me that it was really her that we were communicating with, even though her body was still technically alive down at the hospital on total life support. I asked her if she was going to come back and she said no. I asked her why, and she said that she was having too much fun and when was the last time I remembered her to have fun, which was the truth. I asked her what it was like there. She told me that it was like a school. I asked what she was learning and she said that there was no way to explain and she could not tell me, but that we are in a certain class when we are in the body and a different one when out. As it turned out, we heard the next day about the lunatic in New Zealand who was shooting up all those people in Christchurch, and it was happening at the exact time that we were conversing with her and this was her reference to someone hurting a little girl. As I understand it, there was a little girl hiding behind a tree. So, she could SEE this business going on in New Zealand at the same time she was talking to us. She exclaimed about it even. It was a bizarre little conversation. (C) So, already she was there. (L) Indeed. (F) And she did say 'I'm not coming back.' (L) Yup. She said 'no way!' She said things that were so characteristic of her mode of expression that it was like when we were conversing with K**** just after he died and I was completely convinced it was him because of the way he was playing with words in the same way he did when alive. He loved puns and he was using them right and left. (C) Okay, we have done the ouija board a couple of times in NC and have asked to speak to T. and got some information. Were we, indeed, speaking to T* at that time?
A: You know when you are.
Q: (L) I guess you would KNOW if you had and would not have to ask the question. (C) Well, it sounded like him. Can we talk to him now?
A: No.
Q: (C) Why not?
A: He does not occupy the necessary level at your confluence. You see, one on 5th density must shift contemplation frequency to communicate with 3rd density, even through a medium such as this. Best results are achieved when the souls are recently "departed," as then you are most likely to play a big part in the contemplation process. This is because of the intensity of frequency modulation coming from those "left behind."
Q: (C) Okay, that makes sense. (L) It does? (C) Well, when the soul has just passed over they are closer to their third density mentality and frequency, and it is easier for them. (L) And it is better not to bother them after because you don't want to hold them at that frequency. (C) Right! And, I guess that the intensity of the frequency modulation comes from the person who is drawing them. I told him to go and not hang around. (L) Yeah, you don't want them to hang around.

One last thought: your friend might need to try out some of the diet recommendations from the Diet and Health section, if he seems receptive to the suggestion. They are not far from the cancer-free protocol that Bill Henderson put together from various sources, on how to naturally treat cancer. One can even download the book Cancer Free, for a relatively small fee.

Fwiw....

 

[Aidylsun B.]

Hello Harold,

I am going through something very similar to what you described.

About a year ago, a former co-worker friend told me that he was concerned about a growth. The doctors monitored it and later determined that it was an incurable form of cancer. He underwent treatment and was off work for several months. He returned to work about six weeks ago but for only two weeks. I learned yesterday the cancer has spread to other parts of his body and that things aren’t looking too good.

Last summer, I lost a friend of nearly 40 years. He lived several hundred miles away so our conversations were by phone. We’d laugh and talk about old times. I went to visit him shortly before he died and we took pictures and did more reminiscing. It was so good to see him and to hug him. And I have to add that his memory was phenomenal!

As hard as it is, I try to just enjoy good conversation with my friend who is still here. I remind him that I love him and that he is in my prayers. And with my friend who died, I just listened to him recall the events of his life. He told me that he wished he could forget a lot of stuff but that he had made peace with it. He even took time to pass on some really good advice to me. Would you believe that he has already invited me for tea? He said he would look forward to sitting down and having a good cup of tea with me – but not for another 30 years or so.

I agree with what has already been said and I’ll add that I think you should continue to be a friend and just talk and laugh when you can and listen.

My best to you and your friend.

 

[SeekinTruth]

Hi Harold,

Sorry to hear about this difficult situation. I agree with what's already been said in the other replies. Just to summarize: since you care so much about him, the best thing to do is be there for him, and be as natural as you can to show how much you care for him and appreciate him.

As far as telling him about alternative treatments and holistic approaches to health, if he is open to it, give him information and further help if he asks. And for disscussing the afterlife, as was mentioned by others, just let him steer the whole thing and see where it goes. Keep in mind, that we can't be absolutely certain about the afterlife, 5th Density, etc. It's one of the types of information that we cannot verify ourselves with the methods of research, etc. that we can verify other types of information. And we can't remember the continued cycles of incarnation leading to higher densities (which seem pretty likely), but it seems that the lessons to be learned on this level require that we don't remember them.

Best wishes to you and your friend.

 

[ScioAgapeOmnis]

I think, as the C's advised in the above session, it's best to enter death with an open mind. So while you can, if he asks, tell him some things you have read about it, like about 5th density and it being a time to reflect and review, etc, I think it would be to his benefit if you simply encouraged non-anticipation and having an open mind about it, since no one can know for sure. There's definitely enough evidence to say that there's "something" after death, that it's not just emptiness and life is meaningless and all of existence is simply a cosmic accident. But us humans tend to make all kinds of assumptions, jump to conclusions, and come up with what we would "prefer" to see, or simply use scary ideas to scare people into fear and obedience. Since we're so clueless and have so many possible motives to distort and make things up, I think it's best not to subscribe to any of those ideas and simply have an open mind and be willing to let the universe teach you. It hasn't disappointed us with its mystery, wonder, and grandeur in life - why should we think it would disappoint us in death? Just as in life, there is no better way to learn about the true nature of the universe than from the universe itself - by looking and listening, and being willing to learn with an open mind.

 

[vinny]

Seems to me just being there as a true friend, without judgment, is a very helpful thing to do, imho. And, if I might offer, be very wary of trying to change them.

yup, I'm going through a similar thing with a family member, and I think the best thing to do is simply to be there, and be a friend, just to give some 'moral support', and without any judgment or trying to change the person.

Sometimes there are small bits of information that you can share that can be relevant such as dietary things that are 'non threatening' to someone's belief system but may help in at least a small way for that person to be a little stronger (eg: cruciferous veg, omega-3 oils etc for prostate cancer - someone here, sorry can't remember who off the top of my head, recently posted a very useful thread with lots of links). But that's all, you cannot and should not be forcing anything unwanted.