What can be said to the dying, if they ask. From this forums perspective.

Hello All, Harold here...I am having a very busy few days here. I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time to reply to this thread. I am moved by the responces, I think my friend would be too. I feel much more comfortable with this situation. If my friend knew of your concern for the best possible out come to this situation..... well if it was me in his shoes, I know I would really feel special. I don't know if he has every felt really special, but in my life experience, to feel really special, even if just once in our lives.... well that can go along way.

As I said, I am very busy. I will take the time to go over your comments again, and reply, and probably ask some more questions. I plan to go to see him this week, I do not have any plans to 'impart' any knowledge to him, as I mentioned, I am avoiding this topic all-to-gether. The best advice I think I have been given so far is to be myself, (we talk allot about the cooking channel, old times, catching up, some jokes etc.) be sincere, and if he asks.... say "well what is your take on this subject?" Get a good grasp on his understanding. As I mentioned, the closer it gets to the end, I think then the conversations will become a little more intense.... or maybe not....who knows. For now I will judge if I am a good addition to his life, my big thing is not to disrupt his family, they seem quite comfortable with me coming by. We always got along in the past, but it is different now. Like I said he seems to enjoy my visits, as we were good friends befor.

One more thing is..... I like what the C`s have to say about the light etc. and what to do right after we pass. As I have mentioned, the whole light thing... is it a hoax? From reading the little passage above, it seems to be valid, but I want to know more.... for my friends sake, and for my knowledge too. I can easily see this topic coming up.

I gotta go,
cheers
Harold
 
looks like Im going to see him tommorow, I feel much better informed, supported, centered. Im not gonna bring anything up, just let it flow. I want to enjoy ourselves, gonna bring him some candy, I just want to be with a friend, and make things a good time as opposed to not a good time. If he asks me about the 'light', I will say that I will have to get back to him on that one and I will bring it up with you guys again.
Thank-you all for the feedback
Harold
 
I think if you're being honest and open and externally considerate, you can't really go wrong :) I wouldn't worry too much about his "afterlife" because, as the C's said, ultimately everybody is ok, even if they have to go through a period of confusion. And it is upto your friend what his beliefs are - if he believes something contrary to reality he may have issues, but that also means he isn't Asking in any sincere way about alternatives so you can't really "help". But if he truly IS asking sincerely, then it means he already has let go of his beliefs enough to question them, which in and of itself means he'll probably be dying with a open/questioning mentality, regardless of whether you tell him about 5th density or not. Think about how many people die - the overwhelmingly vast majority never heard of densities, but that doesn't mean they will have issues. Like the C's said, it's the lessons of 3rd grade that matter, not how much you learn about 4th or 5th grade material while in 3rd grade. We're lucky to get a preview of 4th and 5th grades from the C's, but I don't think that's in any way necessary to have a very positive after-death experience.

So bottom line, I think it is entirely dependant on him and his internal belief system (or lack thereof), and not you, as to what his experiences are, so I wouldn't worry or feel like you have some kind of responsibility or even any control over what happens. Being a caring friend to him seems like the best thing you can do, osit.
 
SAO said:
So bottom line, I think it is entirely dependant on him and his internal belief system (or lack thereof), and not you, as to what his experiences are, so I wouldn't worry or feel like you have some kind of responsibility or even any control over what happens. Being a caring friend to him seems like the best thing you can do, osit.
Click to expand...

Exactly!
And if i were you Harold, instead of candy i'd bring my friend flowers and the EE DVD case ;)
Enjoy your time with your friend.
 
Hello, thank-you Sao and Alana for the further coments. I am going to see him in a couple of hours. I do not know what to expect. I am so grateful for having this forum. I anticipate the subject of afterlife to come up, but probably not today, I anticipate too an interest in alternative plans now that he has gotten off his kemo. This is where I think that any questions he may have, I can bring to this forum as I understand that medically trained professionals and those with reasearch on here may have some information.
He told me he loves those yogurt covered rasins, that is what I meant when I said candy. I've been imagining me going there with the DVD's and flowers now that you mentioned it Alana. I like this idea very much. I am not a big participant in the monetary system. So I need to do some research on where to send a money order, I have been utilizing the free site.... it works for me so far but I want my own copy.
cheers
 
I'm really sorry for your friend Harold ,i want to say that i'm totally agree with SAO ,be with him in these moments ,be yourself ,if he ask about afterlife tell him what you think from your point of view .
 
Hello Everyone,.... well I just came back from my visit to my friend. It was good. But I'm beginning to think that I am wrong in anticipating any conversation about spirituality or the afterlife. You never know though. :huh: I am still glad that I shared this with the forum. As I was vigilant not to steer the conversation in any direction. That was sucessful, thanks for that assistance.
cheers :)
 
Both my parents and a best friend I called brother passed away within a three(3) year period of each other. I was with them all as death approached. Every time it was them who brought forth the subject of death. Much was said through the eyes, that could not be expressed in words. What I did was hold out my hand with love, listen & talk. Love them and what happens, happens...

edit: for clarity
 
Hi Harold,
First of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your friend.
I don't have a close friend with cancer, but I've recently been put face to face with the disease when a client of mine has recently confided me that her supposedly benign tumor is, after all, a cancer. It is a very scary, sad, and debilitating disease.

Harold said:
But I'm beginning to think that I am wrong in anticipating any conversation about spirituality or the afterlife.
Click to expand...

I think this is an important point. To be able to be prepared, without anticipating. Being prepared will enable you to more easily respond to an otherwise difficult situation or question. Anticipating on the other hand, is different, and encompasses a different attitude which can sometimes restrict the natural flow of a situation.
I think you are doing well in caring for your friend, and I am sure he really appreciates it in such a difficult time. This seems to be quite a profound situation for both of you, perhaps it will bring you both some lessons, who knows?

I'm glad to hear that your vigilance has helped you in this last visit :)
 
Hello Everyone, was just re-reading the thread here to mostly read Alanas comments again.
But to cholas, Aidylsum B., Nomad, Al Today and Gerturdes, I want to thank again, and I have been thinking of your similar experiences and your first hand feedback, and courage.... :) Your sharing on this thread is not at all in vain.... I have recieved benefit, even if my friend never finds out about you guys, and your tender words towards him. In a sence I reffered to you all here on this thread, yesterday. I told my friend.... during our last 10 minutes of visit, that in the last two weeks or so , I have told some 'buddies' bout the 'korea' story. His eyes just lit up for the first time, he said "really? You remember that story?" I re-itereated the tunnel to him, and the base it was on, as it is a well known place, and how he came to Canada, and lived in this famous building, occupied by hippies..... he lived in that building befor ,during and at the end of this buildings famous story. I told him that some of the occupants of that building and surrounding area, started abunch of communes up in the Ottawa Valley(in the bush), and that one commune was named after the building that this famous story centers around. I told my friend that is one of the reasons I moved up there, and that his influence has been a great part of my life and that he is one of my heros, up there with Lincoln. I've always wanted to tell him that, it was a sentimental moment, we just looked at each other, I finally touched him for the first time in our visit, we shook hands. I barely got out of there, to find myself quite moved out in my truck after. That was one of my goals with him , was to tell him how I felt about him.(I know this is somewhat selfish, but I felt it was right for he and I) His wife seemed way more relaxed when I left this time.... I really look forward to seeing him again.

So..... Alana...... thanx again for your feedback, I am only singling you out in gratitude for the amount of info and feedback you provided. I used my judgement of the situation and consciously decided not to bring flowers to my friend..... this time..... the atmosphere at his home, when I left, was much more welcoming and relaxed. Its just my intuition, but I went with it and am satisfied. I really want to do this and am pretty sure I will next time. Alana I really appreciate the offer of the borrowing of your book. As a rule I am not one to turn down a gift. I only want to say thank-you for the offer. I just want you to know that for the last couple of months or so I have really been immersed in all of Laura's and Ark's material. I am currently using all my free time to read the 'Wave' and am around half way with that book. 'My' plan was to purchase the next wave book and the EE dvd. I just wanted to put that out there for you to consider, I hope thats ok...

well I have a busy fun fillled day ahead of me and wish you all a great week.
cheers :flowers:
Harold
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Trending content

Back
Top Bottom