What is love if it is not energetic food?

[ScarletBegonias]

Recently I've discovered that I learned to show "love" to others the way that my mother showed me love when I was growing up. My mother over-fed, over-nurtured, over-protected and over-taught me and now I have a tendency to engage in these behaviors to show my "love" too.

I've come to the realization that I don't know what love is even though I think I love this new fish I got. He is so excited to see me and we seem very happy just entertaining each other. I am also happy that I can feed him and provide him with a safe and clean home. I'm trying to teach him little things too, because I've observed some of his habits and like to play with him.

But I see how I bought him just so I could feed off of his energy, because I bought him to avoid feeling lonely over the summertime. He is my first pet and I wonder if we all keep pets around because we want to love something or because we want to feed off of them.

What is love if it is not energetic food? I think energetic feeding can exist before and after the actual food source is gone, but is this love instead? How can I love myself if the only understanding I have of love is this "love" I have received from my mother? I'm lost and I think my fish knows more about love than I do!

 

[EmeraldHope]

According to the C's, love is light is knowledge.

You are correct in your post that most "love" here in 3d is nothing more than energetic feeding. I do not recall off the top of my head which transcript that is outlined in, but I am sure someone else knows and will post it. Laura covered this also in The Wave.

 

[Avi]

I'm lost and I think my fish knows more about love than I do!

Hi Scarlet,

In my experience, coming to grasp that one does not know what love actually is, happens to be an excellent place to be.

For this way you can start learning by setting aside, even if only temporarily, the many prejudices and socially conditioned views we pick up surrounding the act.

For it IS an ACT, a state of being, more than a thought or word. We use words, but when it comes to LOVE, do words ever truly do justice?

Enjoy the state of not knowing, its where discoveries are truly possible.

With warm regards.

PS - A thought just occurred regarding your "do-gooder" view of love. Have you ever asked yourself whether doing things for others might actually deprive them of their own experience, their own opportunity to learn? It is not always the case, of course, and when one gives because it is simply what one does, that is one thing, but to "give" so you can "feel good" is indeed prostituting "love" to nothing more than an energetic meal.

 

[Mr. Premise]

I'm lost and I think my fish knows more about love than I do!

Hi Scarlet,

In my experience, coming to grasp that one does not know what love actually is, happens to be an excellent place to be.

For this way you can start learning by setting aside, even if only temporarily, the many prejudices and socially conditioned views we pick up surrounding the act.

For it IS an ACT, a state of being, more than a thought or word. We use words, but when it comes to LOVE, do words ever truly do justice?

Enjoy the state of not knowing, its where discoveries are truly possible.

With warm regards.

PS - A thought just occurred regarding your "do-gooder" view of love. Have you ever asked yourself whether doing things for others might actually deprive them of their own experience, their own opportunity to learn? It is not always the case, of course, and when one gives because it is simply what one does, that is one thing, but to "give" so you can "feel good" is indeed prostituting "love" to nothing more than an energetic meal.

I agree. In fact that was one of the big take-aways from Jacob Needleman's Lost Christianity. We have to be very clear on what we are not and what we don't know. That is the starting point. The worst thing we can do is thing we ARE something we're not or that we know something that we don't.

 

[dannybananny]

Recently I've discovered that I learned to show "love" to others the way that my mother showed me love when I was growing up. My mother over-fed, over-nurtured, over-protected and over-taught me and now I have a tendency to engage in these behaviors to show my "love" too.

To me it seems like a program that was put by your mother, but she probably did nurture it in a way she learned and thought was best for her child, which is not a bad thing if it's balanced, but if it was to much caring then there can be a problem of lack of independence in later life if someone does everything instead of you, you can become selfish.

But I see how I bought him just so I could feed off of his energy, because I bought him to avoid feeling lonely over the summertime. He is my first pet and I wonder if we all keep pets around because we want to love something or because we want to feed off of them.

I think that it's good thing to question intention behind actions such as "love", something that you clearly stated was a result of wish not to feel alone and probably to feel good in giving "love". But it's not a bad thing to have a pet, C's said through interactions with them they grow, it's just that question: Why do we do it? Do we expect to gain something from it?
Realization that you have is first and basic step, now you "only" need will to act. It isn't easy but if you give it a try you can only gain and you don't lose nothing, only your false self, but the question is how much do you appreciate your false riches and how much your true self. That's the question we all face.

 

[cubbex]

Love is not a feeling or an expression in essence. Love is an state of consciousness you can reach, even by a little moment, and the way it manifest has different faces. Depending on your level of consciousness, your level of love, that's why is knowledge, and is light, because love creates light by knowledge.

 

[obyvatel]

How can I love myself if the only understanding I have of love is this "love" I have received from my mother? I'm lost and I think my fish knows more about love than I do!

Mostly, our parents instilled a sense in us that we have to be a particular way so that we can be worthy of love. This dynamic usually carries over into adulthood and we are always caught in "what we should be" without considering "what we are".

"Loving the self" starts with knowing the "self" without judgement and prejudice. This knowing involves the body, emotions , thoughts and behavior. Writing a daily journal with observations made about the "self" could be a good start. Writing helps to keep observations grounded and not floating around in imagination. It is not about "what we would like to be " but to objectively see "what we are". Only after we know "what we are" can we move towards "what we would like to be".

fwiw

 

[cubbex]

How can I love myself if the only understanding I have of love is this "love" I have received from my mother? I'm lost and I think my fish knows more about love than I do!

Mostly, our parents instilled a sense in us that we have to be a particular way so that we can be worthy of love. This dynamic usually carries over into adulthood and we are always caught in "what we should be" without considering "what we are".

"Loving the self" starts with knowing the "self" without judgement and prejudice. This knowing involves the body, emotions , thoughts and behavior. Writing a daily journal with observations made about the "self" could be a good start. Writing helps to keep observations grounded and not floating around in imagination. It is not about "what we would like to be " but to objectively see "what we are". Only after we know "what we are" can we move towards "what we would like to be".

fwiw

I really recommend to do this, keep a journal, like a research journal when you write your observations about the specimen or project you are carrying right now, and that experiment would be yourself under observation, under your own ideas, and suddenly you may discover incredible things.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

Write what you feel, what flows. And someday when be the right time, you will return to reading and according to your level of knowledge, maybe you might see some interesting things.

You can also see yourself as a fish, and your mother who built your aquarium, a fragile world of glass. With every comfort, adjusting your system to a single type of food and water. Maybe the fish is "excited", because you is who feed him? Like we were excited when it comes to the person who gives us love and we consent and makes us feel safe. We know that only in this world of glass, we feel good.

It is as symbolic, following the same chain. And so it intervenes and creates more fragile worlds to other people besides fortifying turn ours, because we believe we are doing something "good" to their lives. There are people who can be an incredible damage if the glass breaks, just they cannot breathe more.

Read the wave, as says Herakles, is a state of being. Therefore you should be there to understand. Your question to me is one of the strongest pillars of belief system, and is beginning to create cracks in the yours.

 

[Nienna]

Scarlett, you may also want to read the On Love thread.

 

[ana]

According to the C's, love is light is knowledge.

You are correct in your post that most "love" here in 3d is nothing more than energetic feeding. I do not recall off the top of my head which transcript that is outlined in, but I am sure someone else knows and will post it. Laura covered this also in The Wave.

Yes, it is covered in The Wave series:

Q: (L) There are many teachings that are promulgated that Love is the key, the answer. They say that illumination and knowledge and whatnot can all be achieved through love.
A: The problem is not the term "love," the problem is the interpretation of the term. Those on third density have a tendency to confuse the issue horribly. After all, they confuse many things as love. When the actual definition of love as you know it is not correct either. It is not necessarily a feeling that one has that can also be interpreted as an emotion, but rather, as we have told you before, the essence of light which is knowledge is love, and this has been corrupted when it is said that love leads to illumination. Love is Light is Knowledge. Love makes no sense when common definitions are used as they are in your environment. To love you must know. And to know is to have light. And to have light is to love. And to have knowledge is to love.

And just as a lot of people think they are in love, or being loving when, in fact, they are not; a lot of people think they are making love and they are not. As the writer above commented, this process the Cassiopaeans advocate has to do with "learning what love really is and how to become an instrument for it to flow through [you.]" And, he is absolutely correct that you must "Know yourself.... Realize Yourself! And then you will have something of value to offer."

Q: (L) So, you are saying that the path to illumination is knowledge and not love?
A: That is correct.
Q: (L) Is it also correct that emotion can be used to mislead, that is emotions that are twisted and generated strictly from the flesh or false programming?
A: Emotion that limits is an impediment to progress. Emotion is also necessary to make progress in 3rd density. It is natural. When you begin to separate limiting emotions based on assumptions from emotions that open one to unlimited possibilities, that means you are preparing for the next density.

The sign of the growth of the emotions is their liberation from the personal element and their transition to higher planes. The liberation from personal elements enhances the cognitive power of emotions, because the more personal elements there are in an emotion, the more capable it is of leading into delusion. A personal emotion is always biased, always unfair, if only for the reason that it opposes itself to everything else.

Thus the problem of right emotional knowledge is to feel in relation to people and the world from a point of view other than the personal. And the wider the circle for which a given person feels, the deeper the knowledge which his emotions give.

Thus the problem of emotional knowledge consists in a corresponding preparation of the emotions which serve as instruments of knowledge.

Become as little children...' and 'Blessed are the pure in heart...' These words speak about the purification of emotions. It is impossible to know rightly through impure emotions. Therefore, in the interests of a right knowledge of the world and oneself, the work of purification and elevation of emotions should go on in man.

There are emotions through which we gain knowledge, and there are emotions by which we are led astray. [Ouspensky, 1922]

More to be found here:
The nonlinear dynamics of love and complex systems -Debugging the Universe

 

[ScarletBegonias]

Thank you for your replies, everyone! You have given me much to think about and I appreciate it. I am keeping a journal/sketchbook and thank you for the suggestions to do that here too! I'm still trying to understand this concept, but maybe I have not read far enough yet:

When you begin to separate limiting emotions based on assumptions from emotions that open one to unlimited possibilities, that means you are preparing for the next density.

 

[obyvatel]

Thank you for your replies, everyone! You have given me much to think about and I appreciate it. I am keeping a journal/sketchbook and thank you for the suggestions to do that here too!

The suggestion was to keep a private journal related to self-observation. I may have misunderstood what you wrote above but you do not need to necessarily share your self-observations here. The idea is for you to get an accurate picture of yourself as you are. You can share your observations here if you want to but it is your choice.

[quote author=Scarlet]
I'm still trying to understand this concept, but maybe I have not read far enough yet:

When you begin to separate limiting emotions based on assumptions from emotions that open one to unlimited possibilities, that means you are preparing for the next density.

[/quote]

Perhaps using a personal example will help. Take some recent events where you made some assumptions (which later turned out to be incorrect) about yourself/others. Then try to recollect the emotions you felt in those situations which were tied to the assumptions. Try to see how these emotions affected your thinking and behavior. Then try to hypothesize how you could have thought or acted differently if you were not under the effect of those emotions derived from incorrect assumptions. A personal journal where you write down your observations about yourself are a great help in going through such exercises which lets you see many concepts "in action" and thus build understanding.

Regarding "emotions that open one to unlimited possibilities" - it is difficult to describe them in words at least for me. The very little experience that I have had for brief moments with what may qualify as such emotions has shown me that such emotions are completely in a different level than the emotions we are normally accustomed to feeling. The emotions that we normally feel - even so-called positive emotions like pleasure or joy - are are usually tied to corresponding body sensations whereas some of these other or "higher" emotions are not tied to body sensations at all. But as I said, I do not have enough experience with such emotions that I can form a solid understanding - so my thoughts on this are hypothetical. Take such thoughts fwiw.

 

[Buddy]

I'm lost and I think my fish knows more about love than I do!

Hi Scarlet,

In my experience, coming to grasp that one does not know what love actually is, happens to be an excellent place to be.

For this way you can start learning by setting aside, even if only temporarily, the many prejudices and socially conditioned views we pick up surrounding the act.

For it IS an ACT, a state of being, more than a thought or word. We use words, but when it comes to LOVE, do words ever truly do justice?

Enjoy the state of not knowing, its where discoveries are truly possible.

With warm regards.

PS - A thought just occurred regarding your "do-gooder" view of love. Have you ever asked yourself whether doing things for others might actually deprive them of their own experience, their own opportunity to learn? It is not always the case, of course, and when one gives because it is simply what one does, that is one thing, but to "give" so you can "feel good" is indeed prostituting "love" to nothing more than an energetic meal.

I agree. In fact that was one of the big take-aways from Jacob Needleman's Lost Christianity. We have to be very clear on what we are not and what we don't know. That is the starting point. The worst thing we can do is thing we ARE something we're not or that we know something that we don't.

I agree with the above. The Work seems to suggest that the "love" we feel while in our mechanical state cannot be objective - fully 'real' - as long as it involves the false personality which is based in imagination. Have you read any Gurdjieff or Ouspensky yet?

If you haven't read it yet, the Wave chapter on addiction might also be helpful in understanding how the "do it again pleasure center" can be instrumental in reinforcing any fantasy scenario we create or already have. :)

 

[ScarletBegonias]

Thank you for your replies, everyone! You have given me much to think about and I appreciate it. I am keeping a journal/sketchbook and thank you for the suggestions to do that here too!

The suggestion was to keep a private journal related to self-observation. I may have misunderstood what you wrote above but you do not need to necessarily share your self-observations here. The idea is for you to get an accurate picture of yourself as you are. You can share your observations here if you want to but it is your choice.

I'm lost and I think my fish knows more about love than I do!

Hi Scarlet,

In my experience, coming to grasp that one does not know what love actually is, happens to be an excellent place to be.

For this way you can start learning by setting aside, even if only temporarily, the many prejudices and socially conditioned views we pick up surrounding the act.

For it IS an ACT, a state of being, more than a thought or word. We use words, but when it comes to LOVE, do words ever truly do justice?

Enjoy the state of not knowing, its where discoveries are truly possible.

With warm regards.

PS - A thought just occurred regarding your "do-gooder" view of love. Have you ever asked yourself whether doing things for others might actually deprive them of their own experience, their own opportunity to learn? It is not always the case, of course, and when one gives because it is simply what one does, that is one thing, but to "give" so you can "feel good" is indeed prostituting "love" to nothing more than an energetic meal.

I agree. In fact that was one of the big take-aways from Jacob Needleman's Lost Christianity. We have to be very clear on what we are not and what we don't know. That is the starting point. The worst thing we can do is thing we ARE something we're not or that we know something that we don't.

I agree with the above. The Work seems to suggest that the "love" we feel while in our mechanical state cannot be objective - fully 'real' - as long as it involves the false personality which is based in imagination. Have you read any Gurdjieff or Ouspensky yet?

If you haven't read it yet, the Wave chapter on addiction might also be helpful in understanding how the "do it again pleasure center" can be instrumental in reinforcing any fantasy scenario we create or already have. :)

Thanks Bud! Yeah, I read In Search of the Miraculous and The Fourth Way a couple years ago, but I remember being confused about some of the material and also depressed that they spoke of needing others to escape..........I'm so glad to be here on this forum now. :) You all have put a lot of love into this forum and I know that is true!! Thank you for this link!