Why are you single?

Menna

Menna

The Living Force
I get asked this question 2-3 times a week and to tell you the truth it annoys me. Why do others feel that people should be in relationships? I also know of a lot of people in un happy relationships, why do they create their own problems by staying with that person.

I believe people need to take more pride in themselves and stop looking outside to others to better their life. If you find someone you like spending time with then by all means get to know that person and see where that goes.

This is just me venting as I find it offensive when someone says, "Why are you single." like I am expected to be with someone.

I know that if I was 100% happy with being single then these comments wouldn’t bother me, but regardless of that I find it interesting that being single is questioned.

Just like anything else in life there are positives and negatives - to being single and being in a relationship. I just don't know why when someone is single other people ask "Why"
 
"And why are you single Menna?" :lol:
I'm joking of course :P
People have so many programs deeply printed that they will never stop annoying you. You can counter them by some standard responses like "I'm still looking for the one" but it's better to focus on your life. Many people are obsessed with not being single (i know some people who are in relationships just because otherwise they would be single) and forget to be alive. So maybe you will meet someone who will not interfer with the Work someday, the universe is infinite, but till then it is healthier to ignore those pre-programmed rethorics and live your own life :)
 
Hi Menna

Many people when don't know what to say when meet another person start to ask that like questions and i think they don't mean anything bad with that and don't know that it could be annoying.
 
mkrnhr - Yea I usually say "I haven't found the right one yet." which is true. I just don't know why being single is viewed as a negative. Thanks for your response I feel that people have been imprinted with the thought of "I need to be in a relationship."

NSD - I have thought of that - that people use it as a conversation starter or they are trying to start a new conversation topic and don't mean anything by it. But I get the feeling that question has a negative curiosity to it. Like people are trying to find out what's wrong.
 
Menna said:
Like people are trying to find out what's wrong.
Click to expand...

In some case people try to find what is "wrong" but they don't look at their yard and like mkrnhr said ignore it and go on, dont let to be food, block it.
 
Have some fun with it instead! Maybe you can answer back with a question, like "Why are you single?" or, "Why do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?" or "Why can't snails go faster? "Why {insert silly question}?" Perhaps they'll notice that it's a stupid question...maybe. People have asked me some silly questions, and I myself have asked them too lol. Thing is not to be affected by it. Most people don't know any better, so why bother?
 
There is also the "Ann Landers" reply to nosy questions: "Why do you want to know?"

Of course, the person may not be put off by having the question returned, so you might need a backup if they want to introduce you to their sister. :)

Herondancer
 
I like the "Why don't snails move faster?" pretty funny and its a good way to show the person how silly there question is or how you don't really care.

Herondancer - Thats a good idea. If the person is asking the question then they must want to know the reason why. So why not ask "Why do you want to know?" good idea. But thats also the thing i don't mind being set up its not that I want to be single or want to be in a relationship. It just is what it is at this point. I just don't like how people try and disrupt your path, think they know whats better for you and view being single as a negative thing.
 
Menna said:
I know that if I was 100% happy with being single then these comments wouldn’t bother me, but regardless of that I find it interesting that being single is questioned.
Click to expand...
Well this is it.

I don't think anyone can be 100% happy being single. But you can be happy with yourself as you are, and when you achieve this social acceptance becomes completely irrelevant.
In fact I find it amusing how majority of people freak out at anything that doesn't conform to "normal" standards and the lengths they will go to in order to sass you out and sort you in appropriate pigeon hole.
And as herondancer noticed the most annoying are the match makers.

But I don't think it is interesting or strange question at all. I think its normal, human society is designed for couples and families.

I am tall, not giant , 196cm, anything between 185 and 200 is quite common in my country and I ended up living in the country where average size of men is around 170 and women 160, it use to drive me off the wall that most of the people here find it OK to use "OMG how tall you are!!!!" as opening line of conversation.
And we are talking about only 20 cm difference. What is 20 cm compared to the size of universe?!

I wonder how they would feel if I started conversation with OMG - how short you are, or how fat you are or OMG how big is your nose!
But that's sheeple for you - you cant win them, and you certainly don't want to join them therefore you start Work ;)
 
Stormy Knight said:
I wonder how they would feel if I started conversation with OMG - how short you are, or how fat you are or OMG how big is your nose!
Click to expand...

I used to think about this one in particular because I get the "You're so skinny!" from women.

My take on these remarks is that a lot of people are dissatisfied with themselves but rather that focusing on that and trying to do something about it, it's much easier to criticize someone else.

In addition, it comes from ignorance and all they are doing is repeating a program. People also do this with people who choose not to have kids. They automatically want to assume that you don't like kids when it's really the opposite in my case. I love kids so much, that I don't want to put one in a situation that wouldn't be best for it. Now, I'm only speaking about myself here as I realize that there are some people who make good parents, but I wonder how it is that these same people who criticize people for not having children don't criticize those who have them who are clearly not good parents.
 
[quote author=Menna ]Why do others feel that people should be in relationships?[/quote]

That’s such a common program. A few days ago I was called a loser, and that’s putting it gentle. Because I never really had any relationship.

Next to that I think that question touched a very destructive program.

Mostly fear I suppose. Fear of being alone, fear of being a social outcast, fear of feeling a loser. Fear of a lot of things.

There is a lot of pressure. - And having fear as a motivation to go into relationships, which they confuse as love. You can see the results everywhere.

They demand things from each other. Attributes which can call there own. It’s just possession. It doesn't has anything to do with Love.


You may find this interesting:

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=14966.0

It explains very well how Love has been twisted.
 
bjorn said:
[quote author=Menna ]Why do others feel that people should be in relationships?
Click to expand...
Mostly fear I suppose. Fear of being alone, fear of being a social outcast, fear of feeling a loser. Fear of a lot of things.

There is a lot of pressure. - And having fear as a motivation to go into relationships, which they confuse as love. You can see the results everywhere. [/quote]

Yeah, pressure to conform to the "norm" is very high. Once the psychopaths had everyone programmed to be in a relationship, and stay there - no matter how abusive or wrong it is., and to have children whether you would be a good parent or an abusive parent, or see the signs of how horrible the world is right now and you just don't want to go there, or for whatever other reasons there might be, anyone that starts thinking for themselves is cajoled, prodded and ridiculed until they step back into line so as to suffer as others do. Gotta keep that food going to 4D STS ya know. ;) And keep everyone dejected and depressed so as not to want to wake up and see what is really going on here on the BBM.

My 2 cents.
 
truth seeker said:
I used to think about this one in particular because I get the "You're so skinny!" from women.

My take on these remarks is that a lot of people are dissatisfied with themselves but rather that focusing on that and trying to do something about it, it's much easier to criticize someone else.
Click to expand...

Yeah. Lots of "coupled up" people are miserable and they want YOU to share in it! :lol2:

While that really IS an annoying question, you can just shut them up by saying something simple like "well, I haven't met the right person yet." Kinda trite, but actually true, right?? :)
 
You could also just answer, "because I've been waiting for you!" - hopefully that will make them really uncomfortable!

Of course, if they smile, then I guess you're in trouble. ;)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. In fact, I know a LOT of people who envy single people. I actually think it's quite healthy to be single for a long time - you get a chance to accept yourself as you are, not only because of being seen through another eyes in a 'positive' light (which is often just feeding). I was single for over 7 years at one point and I don't think I could have dealt with everything I've dealt with if I weren't single - it was necessary. So, there's another viewpoint on it!
 
Menna:

[quote author=Menna]I know that if I was 100% happy with being single then these comments wouldn’t bother me, but regardless of that I find it interesting that being single is questioned.[/quote]

It might also be somewhat geographical (edit: I mean demographical!). For example, where I live in Silicon Valley, there are many more single men. In Dallas, Texas there is a preponderance of women.

[quote author=anart]I was single for over 7 years at one point and I don't think I could have dealt with everything I've dealt with if I weren't single - it was necessary. So, there's another viewpoint on it![/quote]

Amen anart, and a big ditto!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Trending content

Back
Top Bottom