Why are you single?

Thought this thread was dieing...Glad to see its still alive...First time I have checked it in a few days been busy with ISOTM...Great book so far

For example on the bottom of page 5

"I realized that thought of schools on another plane was simply a sign of weakness of dreams taking the place of real search. And I understood then that these dreams were one of the principal obstacles on our possible way to the miraculouse."

Sounds like Ouspensky is talking about "Wishfull Thinking" and how it can be counterproductive. How wishing and thinking takes the place of acting and doing. Would not have been able to pick up on this without this website and forum
 
This was, a most helpful thread.
There was a example of caractheropathy in curiouskat posts, there were many usefull posts everywere.

As a fellow former natural bodybuilder, I understand the drive and your reasons to become one.

However part of the "lifestyle" associatted with bodybuilding became senseless to me the more I dipped inside my programming.
I realised that the eating schedule was holding me back, in terms of adding unnecessary background stress. "Am I eating sufficient protein?" "Are my calories sufficient/excessive?"
And so was the constant worry if I was improving in body composition or not.
This was my experience, yours may differ.

These days I still exercise with weights, but eat a regular unplanned diet, trusting the functions of the vagus nerve to dictate how much I need to eat, and in general worry not about the outcomes of my training.

I dont know if anyone suggested to you so far, but the eiriu-eolas.org breathing programme, courtesy of Laura and co, is very helpfull to overcome our programming and wounds.

PS: Im reading In Search of The Miraculous as well.... what a wonderfull read.
 
"However part of the "lifestyle" associated with bodybuilding became senseless to me the more I dipped inside my programming...This was my experience yours may differ."

Funny you say this Iron because over the past few months...More like the past year I feel like I am "Missing out on life" because of what is required to be a natural bodybuilder. I started training and dieting when I was 20 and now at 24 I am realizing it is kind of pointless. Like you I will always be exercising and eating right but bodybuilding is very restrictive and I agree with you 100%. It is very hard to be social and I do get the senseless feeling. I am starting to realize that it does hold me back as well.

So why do I continue to do it?...When I was 20 I set a goal to become a professional and after 4 years (I am close) I feel that if I stop now I would have wasted 4 years of my life. I know this last sentence will be jumped on by the people on this forum because as I read it over I realize nothing is "wasted" and everything unfolds as it should, but I can't bring myself to give up on my goal until finished. I relate it to building a house with your bare hands and when it comes time to finish the roof you walk away saying - there is no point anymore. being so close and working so hard how could one just walk away. Yes awareness is a powerful thing and when you realize what you are doing is no longer useful and wont let you grow spiritually then you should stop it...I don't know what else to say I know I should just stop NOW but can't bring myself to until I finish the roof ;)
 
Menna said:
So why do I continue to do it?...When I was 20 I set a goal to become a professional and after 4 years (I am close) I feel that if I stop now I would have wasted 4 years of my life. I know this last sentence will be jumped on by the people on this forum because as I read it over I realize nothing is "wasted" and everything unfolds as it should, but I can't bring myself to give up on my goal until finished. I relate it to building a house with your bare hands and when it comes time to finish the roof you walk away saying - there is no point anymore. being so close and working so hard how could one just walk away. Yes awareness is a powerful thing and when you realize what you are doing is no longer useful and wont let you grow spiritually then you should stop it...I don't know what else to say I know I should just stop NOW but can't bring myself to until I finish the roof ;)
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Actually, Menna, you may have over-anticipated the response you would receive to this. It reminds me of a question that was asked several months ago (I can't locate the thread right now, but if I do I will post it) by someone who was pursuing an academic degree and was close to finishing, but felt that they were no longer really interested in their degree area. If I remember correctly, the advice that was given was if they were so close to finishing, then it may be a good exercise to do it since learning to follow through on a long-term goal and complete a task can be one kind of lesson that we need to learn. This seems to apply to your case as well -- if you have worked this long and are close to your goal, then it may make sense to see it through. What would not make sense would be to continue to follow this lifestyle after you have met your goal, if you feel that it is not contributing to your personal growth.
 
Shijing said:
Menna said:
So why do I continue to do it?...When I was 20 I set a goal to become a professional and after 4 years (I am close) I feel that if I stop now I would have wasted 4 years of my life. I know this last sentence will be jumped on by the people on this forum because as I read it over I realize nothing is "wasted" and everything unfolds as it should, but I can't bring myself to give up on my goal until finished. I relate it to building a house with your bare hands and when it comes time to finish the roof you walk away saying - there is no point anymore. being so close and working so hard how could one just walk away. Yes awareness is a powerful thing and when you realize what you are doing is no longer useful and wont let you grow spiritually then you should stop it...I don't know what else to say I know I should just stop NOW but can't bring myself to until I finish the roof ;)
Click to expand...

Actually, Menna, you may have over-anticipated the response you would receive to this. It reminds me of a question that was asked several months ago (I can't locate the thread right now, but if I do I will post it) by someone who was pursuing an academic degree and was close to finishing, but felt that they were no longer really interested in their degree area. If I remember correctly, the advice that was given was if they were so close to finishing, then it may be a good exercise to do it since learning to follow through on a long-term goal and complete a task can be one kind of lesson that we need to learn. This seems to apply to your case as well -- if you have worked this long and are close to your goal, then it may make sense to see it through. What would not make sense would be to continue to follow this lifestyle after you have met your goal, if you feel that it is not contributing to your personal growth.
Click to expand...

Menna, what does becoming a professional imply in terms of time, money, energy, etc? Do you need to commit to the 'profession' and for how long? And how close are you to getting there?

I once practiced Tae-Kwon-Do and had the goal of becoming a black-belt. I did, but on the b-b exam I twisted my ankle badly, and interpreted it as a sign that this was going too far for me. The reason was that during the previous months before the exam the training was getting kind of extreme, and I knew that after the b-b it would only get worse. I noticed a sort of cult mentality within the TKD school at that level. I wasn't enjoying it anymore, so I quit.

That was my case, which might not be the same as yours. The question is how far you are willing to take, why, and how much are you willing to pay for it?
 
Menna said:
I get asked this question 2-3 times a week and to tell you the truth it annoys me. Why do others feel that people should be in relationships? I also know of a lot of people in un happy relationships, why do they create their own problems by staying with that person.

I believe people need to take more pride in themselves and stop looking outside to others to better their life. If you find someone you like spending time with then by all means get to know that person and see where that goes.

This is just me venting as I find it offensive when someone says, "Why are you single." like I am expected to be with someone.

I know that if I was 100% happy with being single then these comments wouldn’t bother me, but regardless of that I find it interesting that being single is questioned.

Just like anything else in life there are positives and negatives - to being single and being in a relationship. I just don't know why when someone is single other people ask "Why"
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My answer is simple - the man is always alone. The company, in marriage, in any relationship - always remain alone. You think otherwise? The more you alone ...
 
Artur said:
My answer is simple - the man is always alone. The company, in marriage, in any relationship - always remain alone. You think otherwise? The more you alone ...
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Hi Artur,

Can you explain what you mean by this? It sounds like you are saying that one is always alone while in any relationship. This seems like a contradiction to me.

I can understand why certain relationships may feel "lonely", especially if they are of the feeding variety. If this is the case for you, I think you need to question why you choose to be in such a relationship in the first place?
 
Windmill knight - Close meaning that my last competition I placed 3rd and if you place 1st you turn pro. I have two competitions in June. If I turn pro in one of those then I will retire from competitive bodybuilding. I had a similar incident - when I played football in college I injured my back and had to stop playing. I also didn't enjoy football at that level as it became more of a business then a sport. So I didn't want to risk further injury for something I didn't enjoy.

On a side note - I am working in the fitness industry and becoming a pro would help my carrier
 
RyanX said:
Hi Artur,

Can you explain what you mean by this? It sounds like you are saying that one is always alone while in any relationship. This seems like a contradiction to me.

I can understand why certain relationships may feel "lonely", especially if they are of the feeding variety. If this is the case for you, I think you need to question why you choose to be in such a relationship in the first place?
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I mean 3rd density... If you are awakening, you'll notice it soon. It's just my opinion, I emphasize.

best regards
 
Artur said:
I mean 3rd density... If you are awakening, you'll notice it soon. It's just my opinion, I emphasize.

best regards
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Hi Artur, you seem to have a very difficult time communicating clearly. It does not appear to be a language issue, as much as it is a clarity of thought issue. You also have shown a tendency to not be very forthcoming with explanations and this has become a bit of an issue. For the time being, I think it would be best for you to continue reading on the forum only.
 
I'm not so older but the worst question in the young guys at this years is so stupid for me that... I don't know, Why it is important. The question is this in one of its variable ways to ask it "are you still been virgin" "why are you virgin"

And the others you have posted. Other thing is that, my ancestors from my mother were french, so here on Mexico the family get mix with the Chiapas guys from my grand mother and I from my father, so, I'm good looking in some way for the girls. I have the oportunity to be with other beautiful girls in the school but it's not in myself to have a relationship where you just want some phisycal contact. Only if you are going to learn something, you know. Necesary for something, or if it helps you in the "work".
 
Menna said:
I get asked this question 2-3 times a week
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"Have you ever been married" is one I hear often. When I say "no" ... a quizzical "why not?" usually follows. I tend to respond with something like "I have Triple A and a jar opener, what do I need a man for?" Shuts them right up :P
 
So "Why are you single?"

I was a single man until 30 years old. In that time when I got that question, I found one response I kind of liked best: "I was born that way".

I suppose the listener was taken aback a little bit, and I do not know if many understood that I was trying to communicate another point of view that being single could be considered the natural state, and this "pairing up" business was what was not necessarily the natural state for everyone!

They might have understood that I accepted and was happy with my "state" of being single, and was not yearning or hoping for a change to it. In fact, that was how I did feel about it. I was completely at peace with and loved every second being single.

In my life, I liked to think, and show, that everyone is an individual, and what seemed obvious and natural to one person, could be completely inappropriate for another. I resisted people who obviously projected their own needs, wants and experiences on others assuming everyone should be like them and experience life the way they did. I liked to promote the beauty of diversity of living and of thought. Or at least I hoped to...
 
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