I'll be honest - I was expecting worse when I clicked play but this is not to excuse the behaviour. A lot of kids around the world get that treatment from their parents or teachers. It's uncommon in the West because the pressure to succeed is less but in countries or cultures where poverty is (or was) common place, kids end up bearing a lot of pressure to succeed and break the poverty barrier (or at least they used to!). Pain, fear and violence is used as a key motivator and driver. Again, not saying it's right but also not acting as if what is shown on the video is a rare event. It's shocking he's dishing that out to a girl though - it's usually boys who get the physical treatment.
I just felt to offer that warning out of respect for those who have considerable sensitivity / might feel upset.
I figured the title was also a warning and gave clarity about the dynamics.
Personally, I found it distressing to watch - and also to see the
lack of active response from witnesses.
For years I have also been noticing that there seems to be such a massive level of 'desensitising' happening within society with regards to violence (well, actually everything!!). I see such a blasé attitude being adopted by so many, and I personally struggle with this on many levels. Perhaps this is in part a 'coping mechanism' for many people, but also I feel part of it is also because so much of what we interface with is via media, through a screen... and we are absolutely bombarded with it. I notice there is considerable detachment for many, as if people are watching a movie, not witnessing something real because it is not in front of them and they are not exposed to it on such a sensory/energetic/tactile level.
I know footage like this assault is reflective of things that happen every day all over the world (and SO SO SO much worse) and these things have always have happened. I also know that when it comes to raising children, being a parent is incredibly hard at times - and we
all inflict damage upon our children in some form - whether we do this with some form of awareness or conscious intention / or whether it is mostly unconscious. Still, I think many souled beings with an ounce of empathy would struggle with this footage on some level.
Aspects of the behaviour this young girl displayed while he was verbally abusing and assaulting her were clearly
instinctive, non confrontational, she appeared to be almost frozen, trying not to make things worse; I would guess she adopts this behaviour regularly in order to protect herself as much as possible. This young girl has had to live with this man long term, and has been
conditioned on many levels to find ways to cope with and 'tolerate' however she is treated. I think everything we have seen in terms of her response is indicative of long term abuse. She would be well aware that she is trapped in that reality until she can obtain some kind of liberation from this oppressive, toxic control and deeply destructive (likely long term) abuse, and she is just trying to survive and endure this - it would appear that she does not feel she can just 'leave' or speak for herself. She also potentially has other family members she has deep emotional bonds with (mother, siblings), and for many reasons, this too, likely directly affects the way she interacts with this 'authority' who is compelling her to 'do better'.
This man treats her as if she is his 'property', his 'asset'; one that he has invested time, money and energy into, clearly with an intention to achieve a particular objective. His anger and frustration that she was not 'performing' like a 'well trained dog' - indicate he perceives he has the 'right' to behave this way. He
freely uses excuses regarding 'cultural differences' to justify his behaviour and
protect himself.
Perhaps he truly believes that his 'guidance' and 'encouragement' is for 'her own good'; possibly the pressure he is placing on her is more deeply connected to not only his own stature, but also 'the wellbeing of the family' financially long term / recognition... but personally, I do not see his actions genuinely coming from a place of love or concern for
her welfare (or others), no matter what he believes his justification is.
I am aware that this man may well have had a very abusive / challenging childhood himself and he is acting this way out of years of his own conditioning. Perhaps he perceives that this made him stronger and more focused, maybe he believes that he is instilling 'discipline, values and strengths' in his daughter, but he clearly does not have the capacity to do this appropriately or to even see that there are other positive ways to support someone to achieve their own goals and personal levels of 'excellence' (and I doubt they are her own personal goals to be honest). I wonder if this man has ever considered that perhaps she never wanted to play tennis at this level (or professionally/long term) that perhaps her gifts and potential are numerous and lie elsewhere? It appears he is only interested in his own ego driven objectives. To beat and hound a soul into submission on every level imaginable in order to have them do your bidding is not love for others. It is purely STS 'love' for yourself and your own agenda.
For those who believe this material to be 'staged' propaganda, in the audio I could hear the sounds of the impact of blows to her head, saw the shock that registered through her body language; I think it was real and genuinely distressing for her. I do not think it was 'staged' at all. I am honestly astonished that anyone can suggest that. This young woman is an
exceptional young actress if that is the case. Added to this, the frequency of the voices of the people filming suggest genuine concern. Clearly the police thought it was serious enough to arrest him. I fully appreciate that there are many false reports that circulate for many reasons and that serve particular agendas, but I do not feel this is one of them.
I think the instincts of this young girl were not to fight back for a variety of reasons, perhaps partly related to fear but also not wanting to show 'disrespect' to her father, especially in public, as from the Chinese cultural viewpoint this would bring discredit and dishonour, (the irony of that, given his behaviour!) but on a deeper level I suggest she has experienced some major physical and psychological abuse to 'tolerate' this in the way she did, and I would also suggest that
even in private she has learned not to challenge him. It seems evident to me this was not the first time this has happened to her. I suspect she has been trapped in, and conditioned to, that dynamic for a long time, and in truth the reality is probably a lot worse when nobody else is around. His actions were calculated and 'measured' and suggested an air of arrogance, but I also had the
distinct sense that he was aware that people were watching, so I think he was consciously 'restrained' in his displeasure, given there were people around. I would also suggest this has occurred in public before, but people have just turned a 'blind eye'. Clearly
he doesn't wish to be publicly humiliated (daughter not performing to his satisfaction), but has absolutely no problem inflicting this on someone young, vulnerable and defenseless in order to impose his so called 'authority'.
Ideally, a parent is someone who protects, nurtures and cares for their child, who encourages them to explore the world with awareness, navigate their way into adulthood, develop their gifts and strengths, who supports them to grow and flourish. We clearly do not live in an 'ideal' world, we also see that no parent is 'perfect', and we know 'all there is, is lessons'... but so often those lessons are incredibly painful and deeply damaging to the point that the soul is so deeply traumatised, they are unable to find or even conceive of a reality beyond their painful, destructive experiences. No matter the outcome of this whole situation, this young girl has a terribly difficult time ahead of her as she tries to cope with all she has endured and will continue to, as she moves through life. It is highly possible she will replay/attract this dynamic in future relationships continually experiencing toxic, hyper controlling, physically / psychologically abusive partners and situations (employment etc), because of the damage / conditioning already imposed upon her. I hope eventually she will get authentic transformative support to deal with the trauma of all she has experienced, and discover a new way of being... and come to know that not every man is like her father.
every part of my body tense, coiled like a spring, willing her to fight back or at least scream for help, but I realised I was observing behaviour related to 'Pavlovs dogs'. It was sickening to watch.
