The main thing that gets to me about all of this is being powerless. The majority of these heroes, while outgunned, they were powerful, some had superpowers even. I'm just a sack of meat, for the time being at least.
While some people were having dreams of zombies, I was having dreams about people being possessed by aliens. It was quite a vivid dream, and without going into a whole lot of detail about it, I was tasked with recovering some kind of metal box artifact with hieroglyphics on it that the aliens wanted but were kind of afraid of. I recovered the artifact but the aliens were waiting for me and I got shot and collapsed against a wall, bleeding out. An MIB walked in, which was actually a probe for a Mantis being, swiped the artifact, and forced me to stare into its cold, endlessly dark eyes. Then it telepathically told me something to the effect of "The forces of creation bow to our will. You are nothing. Your resistance will amount to nothing. Feel your helplessness. Feel that helplessness envelop you as you gaze upon the presence of your Lord and learn your place in the universe." Now the way these beings speak to you, it's like they bore into your heart and then their thoughts reverberate throughout your entire body. I certainly felt helpless, but managed to squeak out a feeble "F- you." That was not what he wanted to hear and he killed me. While I suspected this was some kind of genuine transdensity psychic interaction, it was still something I could write off as being "just a dream." The situation with Trump makes me feel the same way as I did staring into that creature's eyes, and it's not just a dream..
As far as looking for someone to blame, for a moment I wanted to lash out, but I quickly remembered what Laura had said about critical channeling, and that everything must be analyzed critically, especially one's own thinking toward the subject being analyzed. I realized I had no one to blame except my own naivete and emotional attachment to a positive outcome. Not making that mistake again.
I'm not going anywhere, and this defeat has me itching for a fight; as Gurdjieff said, "today is a good day to die." Even though I'm not seeing much of a legitimate possibility for a positive outcome at the moment, I want to go out giving the Mantises/PTB/stormtroopers/whatever the hell a big "F- you." A lot of my choices in the future seem to revolve around choosing exactly how I want to die, but they won't become more clear until Biden is sworn in.
