13 things mentally strong people don't do

Number 4 Reminded me of Ouspenskies phrase.

Recognition and Acceptence.

4. They don't focus on things they can't control. Instead, they focus on what they can do.

"It feels so safe to have everything under control, but thinking we have the power to always pull the strings can become problematic," Morin writes. Trying to be in control of everything is likely a response to anxiety.

"Rather than focusing on managing your anxiety, you try controlling your environment," she says. Shifting your focus off the things you can't control can create increased happiness, less stress, better relationships, new opportunities, and more success.
 
Thank you Laura for sharing this wondefull list!
Altough this is not the swamp section I need to share something I had not dare before. For about 3 years I have been absent due to many reasons but a month ago I thought I needed to start from the beginning to know why did I stop after such an improvement in my life. After re-reading ISOTM, some chapter of The wave, Brain changer and Earth changes and the human conection I cocluded that I had been doing "the work" without real understanding.
The reason why I'm sharing this is because of the first point on the list

1. They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves. Instead, they express gratitude

At that time Anart (3 or 4 years ago) left the forum and I thought: such a brilliiant person abandoning the forum and I am such an ignorant doing "the work" so I said to myself you are an idiot if you think you are going to reach some advance working on yourself.....that thought accompanied me until one month ago.
I was allways feeling sorry about myself.

I don't really know what Im going to reach doing "the work" but One thing is clear for me: this forum, this community, this work is my life.
 
Thank you Laura. So I/we will trying to be.
Can I add one more?

They don't shun away their duties(job, human relationships). Instead do as challenging and adventurous thing to do until find the solution.
 
Great list with important reminders, thank you Laura! :flowers:

jhonny said:
Thank you Laura for sharing this wondefull list!
Altough this is not the swamp section I need to share something I had not dare before. For about 3 years I have been absent due to many reasons but a month ago I thought I needed to start from the beginning to know why did I stop after such an improvement in my life. After re-reading ISOTM, some chapter of The wave, Brain changer and Earth changes and the human conection I cocluded that I had been doing "the work" without real understanding.
The reason why I'm sharing this is because of the first point on the list

1. They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves. Instead, they express gratitude

At that time Anart (3 or 4 years ago) left the forum and I thought: such a brilliiant person abandoning the forum and I am such an ignorant doing "the work" so I said to myself you are an idiot if you think you are going to reach some advance working on yourself.....that thought accompanied me until one month ago.
I was allways feeling sorry about myself.

I don't really know what Im going to reach doing "the work" but One thing is clear for me: this forum, this community, this work is my life.
Click to expand...

I'm glad you've decided to come back, jhonny! :hug:
 
After reading the list, it just seemed to me that this thing she is calling "mental strength" is an attribute of those who are advancing in The Work. This sort of thing is what makes it apparent that The Work is something that is best done in real life.

And OH! How often we fall short of these very simple abilities that make life so much easier!
 
Laura said:
And OH! How often we fall short of these very simple abilities that make life so much easier!
Click to expand...

How very true! Thank you for sharing this list, it's a very useful and timely reminder, and indeed something for daily consultation.


Gawan said:
Here is a Ted Talk of her that according to Amazon made her famous and where she explains how she came about creating these 13 habits, because she went through a lot and lost several very close people in a relative short period of time:


Click to expand...

Thanks for posting, I think this is a powerful story of how to make whatever painful and difficult situations life throws at us into a lesson of creating something entirely new - somewhat like an artist working his clay or other material, just transferred to a mental-emotional level. Inspiring! :wizard:
 
Seems rather a given when you look back on your life, which implies preincarnational programming to set up the experiences to set up this mindset that sets up the paradigm of your mind... and you can see this when encountering others, what part of the cycle they are working on... what number on the list they are working on... which ones are weak or strong etc. Much of it can seem rather innate don't you think? Sort of reminds me of that story Laura used in whatever book... when she mentioned the start of AA... those that seemed to make so much progress from hitting bottom, were most likely working on a previous lesson that they didn't pass.... so when they do this time, progress seems so fast or severe or significant to their previous lifestyle.... when essentially, they are only picking up where they left off last time, but they have to work within the game or part of the cycle they are living in, so the experience has to be setup etc... to prepare for their lesson... and choice... then the degree of predictability enters the picture depending upon how they are aligned with the lesson/experience comes their way.... ticking off the numbers on the list, either one by one or simultaneously depending upon their status, experience level... which seems like they really didn't accomplish so much after all, which can be rather disappointing in a way. ;)

And all the 'good stuff' is saved for a certain section of the participants... if half are newbies, and others only background actors, then it does seem to delineated the game further.
 
Laura said:
After reading the list, it just seemed to me that this thing she is calling "mental strength" is an attribute of those who are advancing in The Work. This sort of thing is what makes it apparent that The Work is something that is best done in real life.

And OH! How often we fall short of these very simple abilities that make life so much easier!
Click to expand...

I think so ... that was my thoughts too, while reading it I can clearly see what gets significantly improved in me in just one year, primarily thanks to the Work ... and yes now when I know the mechanics, I can see when falling short is about to happen, and at least I can stop it on time to prevent bigger damage, and reflect it later to learn and point the mistakes, in order to perfect it more for the future.
 
Thanks for sharing this Laura!

I also think that I fall short in many of the attributes she describes so it's a great idea to print it and keep it posted on the wall as a reminder.

Also, it is great how these things can be practiced every day and they can be quite an endeavor some times. That's a good reminder that one can do meaningful things in every little thing one does if one is at least working on developing attributes like these.
 
Thanks for sharing Laura!

It's quite interesting to realize that the core aspects of working on the self come down to these very simple habits that we can incorporate into our daily lives. This list is truely practical, which is something that I myself try to practice on a daily. Instead of coming up with theories, ideas, and over thinking thing, I make it my goal to to see things as they really are and deal with them sensibly.

Thanks again. :)
 
Thanks for sharing Laura, I will be printing these out for sure. 3 & 5 are the two that really stand out for me
 
Indeed a gem. Thank you Laura, for posting.

I would like to share some views regarding the power, aka the no 2 point. As experienced, I practiced relinquishing power for the past 3 or 4 years firstly in a 'designed' fashion in work context, and subsequently in a semi circumstantial manner in personal context. I learned a lot about myself in both situations and I can say that power is a skill that is taken for granted because of the blinding effects on the actual decision making capability or efficiency. The lesson I learned is that power over others is a superficial role that anyone can play. Power over self is a completely different ball game which one can only play when all power over others has been relinquished. Apologies for the lack of detail but the experience is a bit raw as I am still in the second phase of my experiment which is quite confusing. Bottom line, I found that all remaining 12 points can have a different meaning depending on the level of application of point 2.

Cheers,
Ina
 
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