A Random Physical & Emotional Freakout in Thailand

[Carlybee]

Hi guys,
I just got back from Phuket Thailand with a friend I’ve known for 10 years but never traveled with before. She has depression and is quite negative by nature but didn’t think that would have an effect on me or our holiday at all. Anyway, weeks leading up to leaving I began feeling or sensing something not bad but a slight gut feeling about the trip that I couldn’t put my finger on, I thought it must have been a random anxiety of flying but I have never had that before and have been to 19 other countries and never feared flying. I knew something wasn’t going to go well on the trip as I had the gut feelings beforehand and random dreams and events prior.

Almost as soon as we landed I felt an intense heavy energy about the place like it was restricting my chest, I blamed it on the humidity. 2 days went by and everything was fine until I borrowed a Thai ladies pair of sandals to get home one night as I only had sneakers on, on that one walk home the next day in between my big and second toe where the sandal had rubbed I got a blister so I went and purchased ones that go over the foot as Im sensitive between the toes and cant normally wear those kind of toe shoes.

Anyway we went on a tour to Phi Phi island and went snorkeling, while I was walking out in the turquoise water to explore the fish life I tread on a piece of dead coral, right where my blister was. The next day I began to feel very weak and my heart rate began to go up and blood pressure right down. Anyway I actually came home early after 3 ongoing days of this terrible response I was experiencing as I ended up having huge panic like attacks, with shaking, twitching and pins and needles in my hand, hyperventilating waking in the night shivering and sweating with a racing heart, really bad diarrhea, vertigo, extreme weakness and crying from exhaustion, I felt a constant adrenaline like surge through my body/bloodstream which continued thru the nights also, my tummy swelled right up like it was full of air, and found it hard to do deep breathing let alone E.E all of which I have never experienced abroad as I have traveled to 19 countries and never felt that panicky or adrenaliney before. I have had anxiety before but always due to some circumstance and never on this scale with all those horrible physical symptoms. It could have been many things like a reaction from the foot cut or maybe it was the humidity, or my low blood pressure, doing too many activities or the recent separation from my soon to be ex husband sinking in I’m not sure, but it felt very horrible and it wasn't going away after 2 days of dealing with it so I made the decision to just get home asap which I was upset at myself for being too weak to ride it out what ever the heck it was.

I haven't told my friends I came home early because I’m still trying to work out what the heck all this emotion and strong physical symptoms were, I know I can be prone to anxiety since my Mother died when I was 19 but this had a stronger physical element to it that came very suddenly without warning. Id really like to know about how to fix whatever I’m going through so I can move forward from this experience but it certainly did have a totally unexpected element to it outside myself that I cant put my finger on. If anyone has any insights I’d really appreciate it. But at least the racy heart and panic subsided almost as soon as I arrived back to my home but I certainly don’t want to have to go through that again, the foot I can deal with but the strength of the sudden physical and emotional attack came out of the blue and I really did feel like I was being attacked as the energy was sooo intense and strong. In the meantime I will meditate and try and get my deep breathing back to normal. I had to see a doctor once I landed as my foot was so swollen I had to remove my shoe and the swelling was moving up my leg, so I have some strong antibiotics and it has gone right down now, but I am still extremely weak and still a bit baffled and freaked out by the whole experience.

Ps: I did manage to have some fun on my holiday though :)

 

[Turgon]

Hi Carlybee, sorry to hear about what happened to you in Thailand. Hopefully you can get your health back in order after all that's happened. A few things stand out though.

weeks leading up to leaving I began feeling or sensing something not bad but a slight gut feeling about the trip that I couldn’t put my finger on, I thought it must have been a random anxiety of flying but I have never had that before and have been to 19 other countries and never feared flying. I knew something wasn’t going to go well on the trip as I had the gut feelings beforehand and random dreams and events prior.

This could be a really hard lesson in learning to not only listen but act upon your intuitive responses to upcoming events. You knew there was something really off about this particular trip but went along with it anyways. I've made this mistake countless times and the one thing I always realize is that I knew beforehand I shouldn't have, but did anyways.

Anyway we went on a tour to Phi Phi island and went snorkeling, while I was walking out in the turquoise water to explore the fish life I tread on a piece of dead coral, right where my blister was. The next day I began to feel very weak and my heart rate began to go up and blood pressure right down. Anyway I actually came home early after 3 ongoing days of this terrible response I was experiencing as I ended up having huge panic like attacks, with shaking, twitching and pins and needles in my hand, hyperventilating waking in the night shivering and sweating with a racing heart, really bad diarrhea, vertigo, extreme weakness and crying from exhaustion, I felt a constant adrenaline like surge through my body/bloodstream which continued thru the nights also, my tummy swelled right up like it was full of air, and found it hard to do deep breathing let alone E.E all of which I have never experienced abroad as I have traveled to 19 countries and never felt that panicky or adrenaliney before. I have had anxiety before but always due to some circumstance and never on this scale with all those horrible physical symptoms. It could have been many things like a reaction from the foot cut or maybe it was the humidity, or my low blood pressure, doing too many activities or the recent separation from my soon to be ex husband sinking in I’m not sure, but it felt very horrible and it wasn't going away after 2 days of dealing with it so I made the decision to just get home asap which I was upset at myself for being too weak to ride it out what ever the heck it was.

This sound like the symptons of you stepping on some type of poisonous fish. As if you got hit by a neuro-toxin or something. But many coral reefs have been shown to be disease-ridden, mainly due to human polluting, so because of the blister, some type of infection may have gotten in. Did you also get vaccinated before you went on your trip? Also, how has your diet and detoxing been? Because if you haven't been detoxing, then your immune system could have very well be weakened from an already toxified body. And with being in such a different environment and completely different type of foods that your used to eating. All this could have played a role along with your current emotional issues with your ex.

Ps: I did manage to have some fun on my holiday though

Oh yeah, TONS of fun.

Take care of yourself. Here's hoping for a full recovery.

 

[Buddy]

Hi Carlybee. I'm just echoing DanielS. I'm sorry to hear about your misfortune also, but I'm glad it wasn't a total loss since you say you did have some fun. I think DanielS had some good questions. :)

 

[RyanX]

Carlybee,

DanielS made some good observations.

I'm wondering about this:

I haven't told my friends I came home early because I’m still trying to work out what the heck all this emotion and strong physical symptoms were, I know I can be prone to anxiety since my Mother died when I was 19 but this had a stronger physical element to it that came very suddenly without warning. Id really like to know about how to fix whatever I’m going through so I can move forward from this experience but it certainly did have a totally unexpected element to it outside myself that I cant put my finger on.

Maybe once you get somewhat stabilized it might be worthwhile exploring the death of your mother? Even though you were 19, that was still a pretty young age to lose a parent. It seems like you already made some connection between the feelings you had on this trip and the feelings you had concerning your mother's death - maybe there is still more to uncover?

Best to you!

 

[Carlybee]

Thanks for your replies I really appreciate it.

I think a lot of it was that I was meant to go and just relax by the pool, except I got dragged into doing full on days and nights by the friend I traveled with. She has long term depression and is a very negative person and I was trying to keep her happy above my own needs, so my gut feel is that I let her negative attitude drain my energy which compounded the situation, then when I got the infection and carried on doing what she wanted to do which was full on days, elephant riding, white water rafting, quad bike riding and staying out till 4am. She is much younger than me (26) so I found it hard to keep up and I way over did it considering I went from basically doing nothing for 6 months due to constantly getting run down from stress, to full on days in total humidity with an infection. So going on holiday and partying and over exerting myself like crazy lead to more adrenaline and cortisol in my system which then set of a myriad of little internal volcanoes!

My friend stayed at my house 2 days before we left and it was this energy drain and intuition about the trip that I felt beforehand. Just little things that I let get to me like not offering to help with cooking, doing dishes or even making her bed and always on my internet on msn. But I thought, well I've paid for the trip, she doesnt seem depressed enough atm so it will be fine, well the way she treated me on the trip when I got sick made it worse, she basically got shitty with me and made it all about her, and because she's a paramedic she told me my infection was nothing and when I began feeling unsupported she took it upon herself to give me the harsh treatment and was telling me that my anxiety and foot infection was getting her down and ruining her holiday (regardless of the fact that I was pushing myself to come along on all the tours). Maybe the trip was a realization to let go of such persons in my life and make way for more positive ones? The Mother stuff that came up I think is due to the fact that Im nearing the same age she was when she dies 38 (Im 35) so its almost like unchartered waters after that age as I will have outlived her which is weird for whatever reason.

 

[Joe]

Hi Carly, sorry to hear you had to go through what sounds like a pretty horrible experience. Apart from the possibility of poisoning of some sort, from a symbolic point of view, I'm wondering if this wasn't something of a wake up call, an experience of reality that perhaps directly contrasts with the perception you had/have? I'm not suggesting you're living in lala land or anything like that, but I'm thinking that when most people are away on holiday to somewhere nice like Thailand, swimming in turquoise water etc. they can't help but just forget about the reality of the world we live in and maybe daydream a little. If this was true in your case, and to then have an experience like the one you had, maybe it was a case of reality intruding and reminding you that it is dangerous to get too carried away in the daydream.

The reason I say this is that, for some reason, your post reminded me of an experience I had about 12 years ago in Spain. I had just come back from a nice evening with the family of a friends girlfriend. I was walking back to my apartment at night and had been looking around at the houses and apartments and thinking to myself "how can people live like this, cooped up in buildings, and was starting to think that humanity was doomed, but then I started thinking about the evening I had just had and how nice it was and started to convince myself that the world ain't so bad, that people are generally good and nice etc. So as I was walking along with this thought, suddenly, out of nowhere, two guys appeared, grabbed me, pushed me up against a shutter, grabbed some money from my pocket and ran off. The whole thing was over in about 5 seconds. Afterwards, (after I had calmed down) I couldn't help but think about the contrast between my state of mind and what happened. Then again, maybe it wasn't as complicated as I thought, and maybe it was more of the lesson was to simply be more aware of my surroundings in general.

Joe

 

[Ollie]

Carlybee,

DanielS made some good observations.

I'm wondering about this:

I haven't told my friends I came home early because I’m still trying to work out what the heck all this emotion and strong physical symptoms were, I know I can be prone to anxiety since my Mother died when I was 19 but this had a stronger physical element to it that came very suddenly without warning. Id really like to know about how to fix whatever I’m going through so I can move forward from this experience but it certainly did have a totally unexpected element to it outside myself that I cant put my finger on.

Maybe once you get somewhat stabilized it might be worthwhile exploring the death of your mother? Even though you were 19, that was still a pretty young age to lose a parent. It seems like you already made some connection between the feelings you had on this trip and the feelings you had concerning your mother's death - maybe there is still more to uncover?

Best to you!

I tend to go along with this, it definitely sounds like a panic attack (coupled with possible other external factors). The telling thing for me in your last post was this:

The Mother stuff that came up I think is due to the fact that Im nearing the same age she was when she dies 38 (Im 35) so its almost like unchartered waters after that age as I will have outlived her which is weird for whatever reason.

Paraphrasing what RyanX said, you may like to explore this statement further.