Acceptance
- Thread starter obyvatel
- Start date
obyvatel
The Living Force
First, thanks Scottie for the clarifying explanation.
A different example - a real life experience that happened about 20 years ago, came to mind when I was pondering acceptance today. I am writing about it in present tense as I am remembering it. This is a situation where I am faced with immediate danger. I am traveling by night bus through a rural area, periodically dozing off and waking up when the bus hits potholes, ubiquitous in the country road. I am towards the back of the bus. Suddenly there is commotion towards the front of the bus; not really visible from where I sit because of people standing up. It does not sound good - seems like armed men who boarded the bus in the guise of passengers struggling with the security guard. Intent is to rob - there is a big rural marketplace to be convened at the destination point where most of the passengers - small scale traders and farmers with significant cash - are headed.
I have precious minutes to digest what is going on - all this info was not known in real time. Obviously, no sane person is going to "like" what is going on. Saying "yes" , by which I mean an attitude of acceptance of what is happening, nothing more, nothing less, is crucial for survival. Denial - no this cannot be happening - there is law and order, there are guards, police stations etc....Or wishful thinking - only if I had listened to the advice of not taking the night bus ...., or contemplating about how governmental corruption and social inequality has given rise to this state of affairs ...
have no place in the current moment. I have to act quickly trying to save what I can without standing out. I take out some cash from my purse - enough to get home as far as I can see and stash it underneath my foot inside my sneakers - taking advantage of being in the back of the bus. I have a new watch - given as a gift recently on a special occasion from a special person; I am tempted to try and save it. But it looks like the robbers are inspecting each passenger as he is made to get down from the bus leaving their belongings behind. I decide that it will be too suspicious to not wear a watch given the rest of how I was dressed. So I keep the watch on, knowing they will take it as I get down. I got away from that situation and reached home after more adventures.
At times of immediate danger, parts of the brain (called reptilian brain) which are older can over-ride the inputs from the newer neo-cortical sections of the brain. In such situations, unlike the workplace ones discussed before, the goal is immediate survival. However, the "knowledge" of the these survival oriented parts are archaic and less refined. The choices available to respond to reality using only these parts are therefore limited. If we are able to stay focused on the present, then the neo-cortical capabilities can be utilized to work in conjunction with older parts of the brain to improve the quality of response.
So acceptance in this sense is not just a "thinking" response, or just a "feeling" response, but an embodied state which acknowledges the reality of the present moment. This state serves as a foundation to choose a suitable response to what reality is presenting to us in the moment. For situations which do not pose immediate physical threat but moral revulsion, acceptance of the situation simply means acknowledging that it is really happening. Acceptance does not mean that we morally condone what is happening (feeling response) or intellectually agree with it ( thinking response). Thinking and feeling are rational evaluative functions which operate on data acquired from the perception of reality of the moment using both the sensing and intuitive (which looks at possibilities of how things can develop given the present state without judgement) functions. I think that a state of acceptance improves both the quality and quantity of data that can be acquired from reality in the moment with minimal interference from "likes and dislikes" - paving the way for next step of proper evaluation. For many situations in life, we can start with rebelling and come back to the real situation and do what needs to be done - like Scottie wrote. In such cases, things get done, at different times, but with similar results. In more urgent situations though, the attitude of acceptance may make more of an externally discernible difference - osit.
A different example - a real life experience that happened about 20 years ago, came to mind when I was pondering acceptance today. I am writing about it in present tense as I am remembering it. This is a situation where I am faced with immediate danger. I am traveling by night bus through a rural area, periodically dozing off and waking up when the bus hits potholes, ubiquitous in the country road. I am towards the back of the bus. Suddenly there is commotion towards the front of the bus; not really visible from where I sit because of people standing up. It does not sound good - seems like armed men who boarded the bus in the guise of passengers struggling with the security guard. Intent is to rob - there is a big rural marketplace to be convened at the destination point where most of the passengers - small scale traders and farmers with significant cash - are headed.
I have precious minutes to digest what is going on - all this info was not known in real time. Obviously, no sane person is going to "like" what is going on. Saying "yes" , by which I mean an attitude of acceptance of what is happening, nothing more, nothing less, is crucial for survival. Denial - no this cannot be happening - there is law and order, there are guards, police stations etc....Or wishful thinking - only if I had listened to the advice of not taking the night bus ...., or contemplating about how governmental corruption and social inequality has given rise to this state of affairs ...
have no place in the current moment. I have to act quickly trying to save what I can without standing out. I take out some cash from my purse - enough to get home as far as I can see and stash it underneath my foot inside my sneakers - taking advantage of being in the back of the bus. I have a new watch - given as a gift recently on a special occasion from a special person; I am tempted to try and save it. But it looks like the robbers are inspecting each passenger as he is made to get down from the bus leaving their belongings behind. I decide that it will be too suspicious to not wear a watch given the rest of how I was dressed. So I keep the watch on, knowing they will take it as I get down. I got away from that situation and reached home after more adventures.
At times of immediate danger, parts of the brain (called reptilian brain) which are older can over-ride the inputs from the newer neo-cortical sections of the brain. In such situations, unlike the workplace ones discussed before, the goal is immediate survival. However, the "knowledge" of the these survival oriented parts are archaic and less refined. The choices available to respond to reality using only these parts are therefore limited. If we are able to stay focused on the present, then the neo-cortical capabilities can be utilized to work in conjunction with older parts of the brain to improve the quality of response.
So acceptance in this sense is not just a "thinking" response, or just a "feeling" response, but an embodied state which acknowledges the reality of the present moment. This state serves as a foundation to choose a suitable response to what reality is presenting to us in the moment. For situations which do not pose immediate physical threat but moral revulsion, acceptance of the situation simply means acknowledging that it is really happening. Acceptance does not mean that we morally condone what is happening (feeling response) or intellectually agree with it ( thinking response). Thinking and feeling are rational evaluative functions which operate on data acquired from the perception of reality of the moment using both the sensing and intuitive (which looks at possibilities of how things can develop given the present state without judgement) functions. I think that a state of acceptance improves both the quality and quantity of data that can be acquired from reality in the moment with minimal interference from "likes and dislikes" - paving the way for next step of proper evaluation. For many situations in life, we can start with rebelling and come back to the real situation and do what needs to be done - like Scottie wrote. In such cases, things get done, at different times, but with similar results. In more urgent situations though, the attitude of acceptance may make more of an externally discernible difference - osit.
Scottie said:
Thank you Scottie and obyvatel.
What came in my mind when reading this thread was what I call "things are". "Things are" is somehow between yes and no. You do not spend your energy to discuss pro and contra within yourself. You step aside try to get your emotion out of the situation, acknowledge what is and then you can think and act. This is not easy though.
It is like trying to swim in a stream. It is too strong so you cannot go on against it. But you also do not want to "give up" and let yourself float or swim with the stream. You also have a third option to let yourself drift with and swim with an angle to the side- and therefore decide to do. You acknowledge you cannot swim against the stream but also do not want to swim with the stream. You acknowledge things are and stop to struggle with yourself and check your possibilities how to shape the situation and your possibilities. You decide yourself and do not let decide.
Another example, which came in my mind. When someone comes running in your direction howling and swinging a club you have got the possibility to flight, fight or step aside and let the someone just pass you. And use the energy of this situation.
I hope this makes sense.
Dylan
Jedi
Great thread! In the moment, accepting the reality tht cannot be changed is a boon to ones survability. Taking premeditated steps to reduce risk, or having a support system to deal with unanticipated stress is also going to play a larger role in determining whether one can handle and accept the situations one encounters in any given moment.
I feel that some people are hard wired to feed off of, or seem accepting when situation arise in which the drama quotient can be aggravated or annulled simply by ones predisposition towards 'acceptance.' Those who approach the situation from the point of view that antithetical inputs may be beyond their control and thus accept them compared to those whose disposition inclined them to become indignant are those who will inevitably perform better, from the point of view of being more malleable to those outside conditions which cannot be changed by wishful thinking. I am thinking of many examples, but for me I can reduce them simply to go with the flow mostly, but stand like a rock when you know that you can control the situation and prevent it from becoming dramatic.
I feel that some people are hard wired to feed off of, or seem accepting when situation arise in which the drama quotient can be aggravated or annulled simply by ones predisposition towards 'acceptance.' Those who approach the situation from the point of view that antithetical inputs may be beyond their control and thus accept them compared to those whose disposition inclined them to become indignant are those who will inevitably perform better, from the point of view of being more malleable to those outside conditions which cannot be changed by wishful thinking. I am thinking of many examples, but for me I can reduce them simply to go with the flow mostly, but stand like a rock when you know that you can control the situation and prevent it from becoming dramatic.
David
Jedi Master
obyvatel said:
I used to always say ‘YES’ to work... though the last time, I had a whopper of an experience, I really should have said, ‘NO WAY.’ LOL (it was a job for two people, and parts and drawings supplied were wrong, making it a job for more than two)
There's is a TedX or Ted Talk... by a Dr Watson (if I remember his name correctly) the talk is called ‘Being Brilliant Every Single Day’ Part I and Part II he doesn't prove his point that Brilliantly in the end... but I applied the technique for god afoul nightmare job, it helped when everything that could go wrong, was wrong... I had no choice but to accept the situation, though the job got finished within the window of opportunity, and the next day I had to tighten my belt by two notches, to stop my pants from falling down... and for three months the thought of the job bothered me greatly... PostTramauticJobDisorder LOL Acceptance was difficult because, the situation was so frustrating, cold sweat of fear, if I truly accepted the situation, I think would have gotten over it better... Acceptance just seems like half the battle.
There's also a Ted talk by psychologist, Kelly McGonigal, called ‘How to make stress your friend’ From_http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend/transcript?language=en
I thought it might help complement the narrative, that goes with acceptance. Because some days, much like the weather, one can't change so much, only how we live with stuff that just happens, outside of ones control... what else to do.
FWIW
obyvatel
The Living Force
Here is a thread on Mcgonigall's talk How to make stress your friend
I was looking for psychological studies on acceptance. Seems like there is data indicating that acceptance builds resilience to trauma.
Conceptualizing mindfulness and acceptance as components of psychological resilience to trauma.
I was looking for psychological studies on acceptance. Seems like there is data indicating that acceptance builds resilience to trauma.
Conceptualizing mindfulness and acceptance as components of psychological resilience to trauma.
Another thought came up: to effectively deal with reality, the less dissociated, the better. That seems to be another good reason to use positive dissociation (such as watching a great film, reading great fiction, or doing EE/meditating) so that when we are living through every day life, we're able to avoid the ("negative") mechanical/automatic dissociation that's so common.
This is a interesting topic. Good feedback is already given.
During fires, Whoever talks more become visible. so we can expect all types of show off's during that time at the expense of whoever is responsible to the problem. so it is natural to feel anxiety and worry. The more we deny it, more helpless we feel. During the 'fires', it is better to think what he is saying is valid, practicable or not and discuss different sides of the solution as safely as possible. When we are in the middle of the fire, we are more vulnerable and easy to get into silence or violence mode. Better not to say 'No' externally instead say 'one Possibility'.
Asking our selves 'What can I learn from this situation or what information could have made difference' can change the focus. In my view, whatever we do, some problem or other will be there to occupy us. We can consider it as a General Law or even 'world only exist for experience'. Of course, it is easy to say.
Currently I report to a woman who comes with a hammer for our 8:30AM calls and asks (specifically) me lot of questions. Yes, she had been in this company for 15 years and knows lot more than I had. My strategy is tell them this is how I did, these are my considerations and ask for feedback. Every time different feedback comes which some times contradict each other. She does first-time-manager routine of show-off, got some -ve feedback from her boss due my successful self-defence during early months. I asked for monthly 1-1 calls and I talk rather frankly to her that softened the situation, but she still does what she does. That's best I can do, give what she wants and at least I had that satisfaction of doing my part. What comes next is a different thing.
Instead of looking at yes or no, we can also think in terms of consequences. In my work, people discuss how to do things all the time. opinions inevitably vary. If it is technical reasons it is easy to have consensus. But, it becomes tricky when it is personnel/self-importance reasons sugar coated with technical reasons. If I blindly accept it, I end up hating to do when I have to do. Some times, others point of view becomes clear when doing it. If I feel that it is not correct and i have something to back it up, I will point out my considerations, listen and let process take its course. Some times, they thank for raising it, some times they don't agree, Some times they keep quite, some times boss intervenes makes his/her version final, some times i make bafoon of my self and in rare cases, somebody behave like broken glass(i.e whatever we do later, we can't mend it). Generally, I am wary of the last possibility and that's where bosses had the opportunity to intervene.
Funny, how body reactions work. We all had been there million times. Getting feedback from neutral parties about the situation generally helps to have more information and choose better direction. General 'No' kicks in denial reactions, that triggers anxiety(from feeling something is wrong or PCS or fear of being branded as "not a team player"). Another thing we can do, is to accept the worst so that Denial effects calmed down and then rationally look whether there is any evidence to worst Or Accept that other person is correct, then look for evidence of his correctness, under what circumstances he can be right etc. Often, things are not black and white. truth in this case may not be valid in another case. one way of dealing in one (office) group may not be valid in another group. More information is more better.
Acceptance can be internal or external. Some can accept externally for others sake, but internally struggle. Others accept it internally(but will ignore it thinking that is not necessary to discuss) but externally skip to point of difference to resolve it. Asking for clarification generally helps.
Sure, acceptance(of lack of control, unpredictability) is important in fire fight. Also, Different people have different skills. Some are good at silent analysis, some are in doing things quick, dirty solutions and others are good at looking at the overall picture and narrow down to problem based on the symptoms and previous experience etc. Some are simply there because of they convinced management that they are good at it though they are not.obyvatel said:
Both are valid points that needs more details. If one knows that it is avoidable situation, document it, make a check list and do it next time. There is no guarantee that some other problem doesn't come. so motive of the person who is making a comment is important. Some times, Modelling others may increases the pressure but we can take feedback and experiment whether we can adapt.
During fires, Whoever talks more become visible. so we can expect all types of show off's during that time at the expense of whoever is responsible to the problem. so it is natural to feel anxiety and worry. The more we deny it, more helpless we feel. During the 'fires', it is better to think what he is saying is valid, practicable or not and discuss different sides of the solution as safely as possible. When we are in the middle of the fire, we are more vulnerable and easy to get into silence or violence mode. Better not to say 'No' externally instead say 'one Possibility'.
Asking our selves 'What can I learn from this situation or what information could have made difference' can change the focus. In my view, whatever we do, some problem or other will be there to occupy us. We can consider it as a General Law or even 'world only exist for experience'. Of course, it is easy to say.
Currently I report to a woman who comes with a hammer for our 8:30AM calls and asks (specifically) me lot of questions. Yes, she had been in this company for 15 years and knows lot more than I had. My strategy is tell them this is how I did, these are my considerations and ask for feedback. Every time different feedback comes which some times contradict each other. She does first-time-manager routine of show-off, got some -ve feedback from her boss due my successful self-defence during early months. I asked for monthly 1-1 calls and I talk rather frankly to her that softened the situation, but she still does what she does. That's best I can do, give what she wants and at least I had that satisfaction of doing my part. What comes next is a different thing.
Instead of looking at yes or no, we can also think in terms of consequences. In my work, people discuss how to do things all the time. opinions inevitably vary. If it is technical reasons it is easy to have consensus. But, it becomes tricky when it is personnel/self-importance reasons sugar coated with technical reasons. If I blindly accept it, I end up hating to do when I have to do. Some times, others point of view becomes clear when doing it. If I feel that it is not correct and i have something to back it up, I will point out my considerations, listen and let process take its course. Some times, they thank for raising it, some times they don't agree, Some times they keep quite, some times boss intervenes makes his/her version final, some times i make bafoon of my self and in rare cases, somebody behave like broken glass(i.e whatever we do later, we can't mend it). Generally, I am wary of the last possibility and that's where bosses had the opportunity to intervene.
Funny, how body reactions work. We all had been there million times. Getting feedback from neutral parties about the situation generally helps to have more information and choose better direction. General 'No' kicks in denial reactions, that triggers anxiety(from feeling something is wrong or PCS or fear of being branded as "not a team player"). Another thing we can do, is to accept the worst so that Denial effects calmed down and then rationally look whether there is any evidence to worst Or Accept that other person is correct, then look for evidence of his correctness, under what circumstances he can be right etc. Often, things are not black and white. truth in this case may not be valid in another case. one way of dealing in one (office) group may not be valid in another group. More information is more better.
If one has a habit of saying 'No', it is a good habit say 'Yes' to change the habit, but expect it to come around or land some where in between. There are situations I said 'No' because I am not convinced of it, but felt bad of my choice and felt satisfied when that helped in setting better understanding and limits. It is a work in progress.
Acceptance can be internal or external. Some can accept externally for others sake, but internally struggle. Others accept it internally(but will ignore it thinking that is not necessary to discuss) but externally skip to point of difference to resolve it. Asking for clarification generally helps.
Altair said:
Yes, thank you for this timely train of thought.
Last night, work had the drama of dealing with intoxicated passengers and harrassment/victim acting out on an airplane. It's a fine line to walk when dealing with unknown , unpredictable 'I' pesonalities. I have the stance of oh no not this . I would have been more activated by what you are saying about having a 'yes' approach to life and it's many variations of meeting with conflict. I do find direct confrontation to be hard to facedown especially when the conflict takes place in a confined area. I'll keep this on top of attitude 'toolbox' of reactions next time.
I am just starting ISOTM. I've been reading around Gurdjieff but I guess it's time to dig in. Just this morning I was on a section about yes and no being the friction to cause crystallization. I'm never sure that I'll really be understanding all I am reading but I suppose the lessons happen?
electrosonic
Jedi
Great thread.
I think its been touched on in parts through different replies, but my idea of the concept of 'acceptance' is this - consciously analyze the situation and then make the choice, i.e Yes or No. But once the choice is made, and you go through a brief period where you can no longer make any changes, accept the situation for what it is.
So acceptance is realising things as they are, but I think you should always hold the power to make conscious choices, saying No is perfectly 'acceptable' (sorry for the pun).
All in all, i find trying to live an STO orientated existence in an STS orientated world is sometimes like trying to walk a tightrope - usually while someone is on the other end swinging it from side to side trying to throw you off. Its difficult to know when to go with the flow as it were, or when its time to say No, and walk the other way.
Like they say, all there are are lessons. :/
I think its been touched on in parts through different replies, but my idea of the concept of 'acceptance' is this - consciously analyze the situation and then make the choice, i.e Yes or No. But once the choice is made, and you go through a brief period where you can no longer make any changes, accept the situation for what it is.
So acceptance is realising things as they are, but I think you should always hold the power to make conscious choices, saying No is perfectly 'acceptable' (sorry for the pun).
All in all, i find trying to live an STO orientated existence in an STS orientated world is sometimes like trying to walk a tightrope - usually while someone is on the other end swinging it from side to side trying to throw you off. Its difficult to know when to go with the flow as it were, or when its time to say No, and walk the other way.
Like they say, all there are are lessons. :/
obyvatel
The Living Force
[quote author=seek10]
Acceptance can be internal or external. Some can accept externally for others sake, but internally struggle. Others accept it internally(but will ignore it thinking that is not necessary to discuss) but externally skip to point of difference to resolve it. Asking for clarification generally helps.
[/quote]
The whole point of the initial post I made was about internal acceptance of the unfolding reality in the present moment. My choice of words was misleading. Scottie clarified it very well.
The rest of the practical stuff - including learning the lessons - happens after participation in the experience. The attitude of acceptance of reality of the present moment builds a strong foundation for responding appropriately to reality and learning the lessons inherent in the experience. Wishing things were not the way they actually are - which is the opposite of acceptance in my view - can cause unnecessary waste of energy.
Acceptance can be internal or external. Some can accept externally for others sake, but internally struggle. Others accept it internally(but will ignore it thinking that is not necessary to discuss) but externally skip to point of difference to resolve it. Asking for clarification generally helps.
[/quote]
The whole point of the initial post I made was about internal acceptance of the unfolding reality in the present moment. My choice of words was misleading. Scottie clarified it very well.
The rest of the practical stuff - including learning the lessons - happens after participation in the experience. The attitude of acceptance of reality of the present moment builds a strong foundation for responding appropriately to reality and learning the lessons inherent in the experience. Wishing things were not the way they actually are - which is the opposite of acceptance in my view - can cause unnecessary waste of energy.
casper
The Living Force
Velimir G. talking about this subject, fully imparting it:
2012 Transformation of Consciousness
Intro
COLUMN bloggers "New Vision" / Metaphysics - Spirituality
The joy of indulgence and magic of Acceptance: Everything happens by itself!
by Velimir G. on Apr 8, 2013 •
If you look into the eyes of any living being, you will notice there a presence of naturally and peacefully resting in itself in the moments before he activates the mind with all its stories and thinking processes and which is again established after the mind has exhausted all its reserves of misery , whining and resentment. At that point, careful observation you come to a very interesting insight - that the Initial status of every living being peace! Peace is a constant that no one can override, something that is impossible to drive away, something to which all life returns naturally, the starting balance! Throwing stones in calm lake can temporarily ripple or ruffle the surface, but once activity stops, the water returns to its natural state of tranquility. Everything always comes back this alone, all by its nature tends to peace. You will notice that the same thing happens in you. Take a close example from my own experience, a situation in which you have experienced great emotional distractions. Someone or something you is so hurt and angry that bitterly crying with a loud voice, and release huge and seemingly irrepressible sadness and bitterness which you suspect will never stop. Weep and sob, various thoughts feed and fueling their hurt and so for a while until we release and do not squeeze the last drop of misery from themselves, while all without burning. And then there is something interesting and revolutionary! You are tired, you feel exhausted and drained, but at the same time you overtakes a deep peace in which you realize that you are still you, regardless of tears, in spite of all the stories that are woven around them and with whom you are identified, regardless of all the drama that you previously created, nothing's really happened to you, you are still there, perfectly still, as they've been before was featured twitter, and in that alone is no dilemma, no question, moreover, realize the futility and meaninglessness of all your stress, because in the end again prevailed peace!
Then you realize that the "reality" does not have any problems! The reality is peaceful and calm, always the way it is! All the problems resulting from your reliance towards life and what it is! The reality is intact, nothing can upset, disappointed or hurt. Suffers and suffers only one who resists reality! And do you know where springs so much opposition and where it comes from all this turmoil?
Originating as a result of ordinary thought, as a result of misconceptions that peace, love, joy and fulfillment that aspire to find somewhere outside of us in external things and events! Your mind is constantly want to be anywhere else but here and now, in this moment, because he believes that as such is something missing! This gives rise to fear that we will miss something, we lose something and that fear is one that catapults us into the field eternal quest and wandering the furious! All resistance arises as a consequence of the definition of our minds on who we should be and life as we live we should, instead of recognizing those who already are and accepting life as it is!
It is this inability, the incapacity of acceptance and recognition of what it is a major source of suffering in our lives!
All misunderstandings between people and the suffering we experience arise simply from the fact that we approach life with preconceived, learned a set of ideas and definitions of who we are and what kind of things "should be"! We assess, define and create expectations about how to make our life should take place so that we can say that we are happy and then compare corresponds to the actual state of things around us our expected ideals or not. If you prefer, we are happy, and if you do not respond, we are deeply disappointed and unhappy! Hence the fundamental misconception that we are the victim's life, when in fact the case that we are the only victim of his own mind, who, misled by false promise about external happiness, decided to be unhappy for life! Get the picture? This is why the whole of bitterness and disappointment with life, why to treat life with ingratitude and complain constantly, constantly whine and grumble and why we never nothing at will. "Why do I have to do now? I'd rather be somewhere else and doing something else. This is all for nothing and stupid. I find it beneath their dignity. So why is it just me going? Why I came down with this difficult destiny? "... And hundreds of others like them objection food and reinforce your belief that you are a victim because you believe that this is something, that happiness and salvation are somewhere else!
But once you stop consciously identified with their condition- ality, when the peel of identification with these preconceived and learned set of definitions of who you are, with these norms for that culture and society than you expect them to adjust, when instead of what "should be" confronted with what "IS", you realize that every problem starts and stops only in your head and try to forcibly change the circumstances and make them to fit into predefined frames of your selfish and narrow-minded ideals!
Because you are restless, because you race with time, rush, angry. There are reports that invisible and intangible pressure that we have to achieve something that we need to "take life into their own hands"! We spend their time investing huge amounts of energy to do something that in itself is impossible - that would subvert life itself, to become the master of your life and keep it under control at all times! But how can you be a master of something of which you are a part, something from which you derived? You realize that this is just a delusion of mind that you are not you.
When you can not resist something that is or is something you need to do than simply giving it,
when completely dive into it, you discover that the core of this fact there is nothing serious is not problematic except ideas of your mind that the pre-resist it! Weight problems depends solely and exclusively on the amount and intensity of the resistance that we provide to something. But once you truly accept, the magic begins!
Here is very important to emphasize that this is not about peace with something. Between conciliation with something and acceptance of something there is a huge difference. The acceptance comes as a result of direct understanding and understanding the nature of reality, as a result of the immediate crime scene, while conciliation comes as a result of misunderstanding and hopelessness where caught, the mind does not see any other way than her brutally subjugate, but without being truly accepted these conditions and therefore suffering and grumbling, which cause despair and bitterness of life.
Moreover, when you stop to force, will become perfectly clear that it was you were the ones who, through their reluctance at all times made it difficult for life to express. In the absence of your opposition, you will realize that your life is with great joy and love goes out to meet and he can not wait to have you stop resisting in order to be able to express in all its fullness and beauty through you. Only you are the one who puts up barriers to the flow! Then you realize that all that energy you have ever dissipate the reluctance life can be used to comply with its natural course and the will! Instead of being OTPORNIK life, you become conductors of the same life! Life thus ceases to be a battle and becomes cooperation!
Everything happens by itself!
In the absence of you as a resistor life, you realize that everything does happen on its own! Realize that life is not required by the supervisor, it does not need a controller. Life is very good care of myself and without your intervention, he actually lives, and I will always find a way to continue. Just be in silence down and assess this for themselves. You will see that the sun only rises and sets every day, that the wind blows from himself, that your body continues to function even when your mind is not present, the rain and snow fall without your influence, to the rivers run by themselves, do not run by you, your hair and nails grow regardless of your preferences. All perfectly performed exactly as it should happen when you do not expect it to be otherwise, when you did not judge it and gendarme, but when you give in and let everything to be exactly as it is! Once you have recognized, a tremendous relief, freedom, joy and space open in front of you, a deep peace emerges when you become clear that you are not a factor, it's not you that something may be affected, which can make something to be in force .
You will see that it is enough that you just decide something and everything else is still going on by itself! EFFORT AT ALL IS NECESSARY, PAPER AND "THE PASSION" are redundant, ENOUGH IS ONLY THE WILLING THAT MOMENT ALL MOVES! You essentially just decide whether to do something or not, and then everything else comes to you, all agree on one magical and miraculous way which might at that point you can not even consider while all perfectly into place by itself! This probably sounds like complete nonsense and contradicts everything we have learned to believe about life, but try for yourself you will come to this startling discovery!
The only thing you can do is take action and then just let go, safe in the knowledge that life will occur with the best possible solution! You are their job done, now let life do the rest. Do not interfere in his craft and annoy him, do not stifle its care. When top-notch carpenter order table, do not stand over him anxiously every day watching him he will make and not pestering him lay his advice and doubts about the job in who do not understand. No, you just have confidence in his expertise and leaving him alone to finish its work. As a result of that trust, you get a masterpiece! It's the same with life. Have confidence in life!
Once you accept life as it is, you are no longer in standby anything! In your understanding of life no longer exists following, after, there is no tomorrow ... just you here, fully present in the moment, which is in front of you right now and that's it. Cease to plan, hope and worry about the future because they realize that the future does not exist and that you have actually achieved that in fact, you do not miss and will always be actually all the way to the spontaneity of life is at that point wanted! The concern is meaningless, no one ever got nothing except ulcer care in their own stomach and unnecessary wrinkles on your face! Just let everything be as it is and let that worry you stay current carrying wherever you need to be! You'll soon find that you are always in the right place at the right time and that there are no accidents! You understand that there is a plan behind all this, which directs your actions and guides your steps. Of course, not all strictly defined, you have a certain margin, defined handling space within that to do this or that, to decide to some extent, but the main, general guidelines are already there, but the default. We ourselves do not know what the plan is, which is its direction, nor is it really important, but simply are aware that it exists. Looking at your past can clearly recognize the outlines of the plan. Therefore, whatever happens, in accordance with this plan, you just have to get into a state where you can find! Only this recognition will completely relax and allow you to be essentially carefree and fully present in your life!
Anthony De Mello, in his book "Consciousness" in favor of that cites a thought that is so deep and true that it is useful to have in mind. She says: "When shooters will shoot a bow without thinking of any particular award, uses all his skills; When shooting to win a brass buckle, but he was nervous; When shooting for the gold medal, blind, sees two targets, and was amazed. His skill has not changed, but the award is conferred by his attention. He cares about awards! More thinking about winning, but about the shooting and the need to win deprives him power. "
When you find that you have nothing to achieve in life, when you have no particular expectations, coming in a state in which your every outcome is acceptable! Maybe some outcomes do not necessarily fall into the category you would your ego defined as comfortable or radiant, but in fact you do not mind, do not complain and do not complain. The knowledge that is all what you have already everything that actually need! All you need is just to be. You will see that they need not necessarily be circumstances favorable to them and find the peace that is always present in everything svudgdje. Just try not to judge the situation you are in, as of a sort! You do so at her, do her attach this or that meaning. You'll understand soon that you are able to develop such a degree of flexibility and acceptance that you actually quite comfortable in any situation! You become like water! Water is everything adjusted, it takes the shape of each container in which it is located, and when not in place, simply flowing freely and pour over all. It is impossible to hurt her, it is impossible to keep in your hand, it is elusive and flow. Shot it can not be hit because it is not solid but slippery and mild. Be diplomatic.
At first you feel that something in you kidnaps and strongly resisted accepting, something will appear that will want to condemn, complain and lament, complain, curse and cry of anguish. When this happens, let him express himself, do not fight with it and push or avoid that impulse, just be aware, identify who is the one who has the need constantly grumble and then will be in front of you with a choice: whether to follow suit train of thought, will you accept the victim mentality and engage as a complainer and nuisance, or you let all that just to be free of your judgment! For each "tragedy" or "trouble" actually has no choice but to wait your consent, waiting for your approval before it could become a tragic! It is dependent on you! Without your consent, without your participation, there is nothing of the sacrificial dance! Always be aware of this!
One of the most effective ways to calm the constant murmur of your mind, a constant internal dialogue doubts, questioning ourselves, of life, of his actions, as well as eventual sense of responsibility and self-incrimination which is in you experiencing as a result of observing the chaos of the outside world, is that you may know to you at any given time do the best you can within its means and that this in itself is enough! You realize that you can not be responsible for the actions and the actions of others, or for events in the world that is based on a fallacy of mind and based on the identification with its madness! Not that your changing anything but themselves! In the end, you realize that you can never take responsibility for anything other than their own responsibilities to be love! It is the premier responsibility in which they already
itself contained all the other responsibilities. All the laws of this world dissolve into the only law! Release the need to judge! You realize that you is of no use and that you essentially nothing brings, does not enrich your life, you only draws and provoking. Always access it to other people with the level of your heart! Watch the best in every person and be their friend! Because, if there are any misunderstandings and difficulties in communicating with other people, you are aware that the root of the problem never other people personally, but that is a universal form of their
identification with the illusion of the ego, their belief that they are just mind their "žrtvizam" and pride, what creates all the problems, confusion and conflicts! The best thing you can do is get in touch with reality and know who you are, and then, possibly, if the opportunity arises, to remind others of their true nature! But not necessarily, not by force. If someone is able to understand and accept, great, if not, let him go on his way. Simply, be in its peace and be at peace with everyone around you. Observe that peace, to power the his sweetness and you will become that peace! Do what is at the core of your natural and healthy human nature: Live and let live! Let all just be!
2012 Transformation of Consciousness
Intro
COLUMN bloggers "New Vision" / Metaphysics - Spirituality
The joy of indulgence and magic of Acceptance: Everything happens by itself!
by Velimir G. on Apr 8, 2013 •
If you look into the eyes of any living being, you will notice there a presence of naturally and peacefully resting in itself in the moments before he activates the mind with all its stories and thinking processes and which is again established after the mind has exhausted all its reserves of misery , whining and resentment. At that point, careful observation you come to a very interesting insight - that the Initial status of every living being peace! Peace is a constant that no one can override, something that is impossible to drive away, something to which all life returns naturally, the starting balance! Throwing stones in calm lake can temporarily ripple or ruffle the surface, but once activity stops, the water returns to its natural state of tranquility. Everything always comes back this alone, all by its nature tends to peace. You will notice that the same thing happens in you. Take a close example from my own experience, a situation in which you have experienced great emotional distractions. Someone or something you is so hurt and angry that bitterly crying with a loud voice, and release huge and seemingly irrepressible sadness and bitterness which you suspect will never stop. Weep and sob, various thoughts feed and fueling their hurt and so for a while until we release and do not squeeze the last drop of misery from themselves, while all without burning. And then there is something interesting and revolutionary! You are tired, you feel exhausted and drained, but at the same time you overtakes a deep peace in which you realize that you are still you, regardless of tears, in spite of all the stories that are woven around them and with whom you are identified, regardless of all the drama that you previously created, nothing's really happened to you, you are still there, perfectly still, as they've been before was featured twitter, and in that alone is no dilemma, no question, moreover, realize the futility and meaninglessness of all your stress, because in the end again prevailed peace!
Then you realize that the "reality" does not have any problems! The reality is peaceful and calm, always the way it is! All the problems resulting from your reliance towards life and what it is! The reality is intact, nothing can upset, disappointed or hurt. Suffers and suffers only one who resists reality! And do you know where springs so much opposition and where it comes from all this turmoil?
Originating as a result of ordinary thought, as a result of misconceptions that peace, love, joy and fulfillment that aspire to find somewhere outside of us in external things and events! Your mind is constantly want to be anywhere else but here and now, in this moment, because he believes that as such is something missing! This gives rise to fear that we will miss something, we lose something and that fear is one that catapults us into the field eternal quest and wandering the furious! All resistance arises as a consequence of the definition of our minds on who we should be and life as we live we should, instead of recognizing those who already are and accepting life as it is!
It is this inability, the incapacity of acceptance and recognition of what it is a major source of suffering in our lives!
All misunderstandings between people and the suffering we experience arise simply from the fact that we approach life with preconceived, learned a set of ideas and definitions of who we are and what kind of things "should be"! We assess, define and create expectations about how to make our life should take place so that we can say that we are happy and then compare corresponds to the actual state of things around us our expected ideals or not. If you prefer, we are happy, and if you do not respond, we are deeply disappointed and unhappy! Hence the fundamental misconception that we are the victim's life, when in fact the case that we are the only victim of his own mind, who, misled by false promise about external happiness, decided to be unhappy for life! Get the picture? This is why the whole of bitterness and disappointment with life, why to treat life with ingratitude and complain constantly, constantly whine and grumble and why we never nothing at will. "Why do I have to do now? I'd rather be somewhere else and doing something else. This is all for nothing and stupid. I find it beneath their dignity. So why is it just me going? Why I came down with this difficult destiny? "... And hundreds of others like them objection food and reinforce your belief that you are a victim because you believe that this is something, that happiness and salvation are somewhere else!
But once you stop consciously identified with their condition- ality, when the peel of identification with these preconceived and learned set of definitions of who you are, with these norms for that culture and society than you expect them to adjust, when instead of what "should be" confronted with what "IS", you realize that every problem starts and stops only in your head and try to forcibly change the circumstances and make them to fit into predefined frames of your selfish and narrow-minded ideals!
Because you are restless, because you race with time, rush, angry. There are reports that invisible and intangible pressure that we have to achieve something that we need to "take life into their own hands"! We spend their time investing huge amounts of energy to do something that in itself is impossible - that would subvert life itself, to become the master of your life and keep it under control at all times! But how can you be a master of something of which you are a part, something from which you derived? You realize that this is just a delusion of mind that you are not you.
When you can not resist something that is or is something you need to do than simply giving it,
when completely dive into it, you discover that the core of this fact there is nothing serious is not problematic except ideas of your mind that the pre-resist it! Weight problems depends solely and exclusively on the amount and intensity of the resistance that we provide to something. But once you truly accept, the magic begins!
Here is very important to emphasize that this is not about peace with something. Between conciliation with something and acceptance of something there is a huge difference. The acceptance comes as a result of direct understanding and understanding the nature of reality, as a result of the immediate crime scene, while conciliation comes as a result of misunderstanding and hopelessness where caught, the mind does not see any other way than her brutally subjugate, but without being truly accepted these conditions and therefore suffering and grumbling, which cause despair and bitterness of life.
Moreover, when you stop to force, will become perfectly clear that it was you were the ones who, through their reluctance at all times made it difficult for life to express. In the absence of your opposition, you will realize that your life is with great joy and love goes out to meet and he can not wait to have you stop resisting in order to be able to express in all its fullness and beauty through you. Only you are the one who puts up barriers to the flow! Then you realize that all that energy you have ever dissipate the reluctance life can be used to comply with its natural course and the will! Instead of being OTPORNIK life, you become conductors of the same life! Life thus ceases to be a battle and becomes cooperation!
Everything happens by itself!
In the absence of you as a resistor life, you realize that everything does happen on its own! Realize that life is not required by the supervisor, it does not need a controller. Life is very good care of myself and without your intervention, he actually lives, and I will always find a way to continue. Just be in silence down and assess this for themselves. You will see that the sun only rises and sets every day, that the wind blows from himself, that your body continues to function even when your mind is not present, the rain and snow fall without your influence, to the rivers run by themselves, do not run by you, your hair and nails grow regardless of your preferences. All perfectly performed exactly as it should happen when you do not expect it to be otherwise, when you did not judge it and gendarme, but when you give in and let everything to be exactly as it is! Once you have recognized, a tremendous relief, freedom, joy and space open in front of you, a deep peace emerges when you become clear that you are not a factor, it's not you that something may be affected, which can make something to be in force .
You will see that it is enough that you just decide something and everything else is still going on by itself! EFFORT AT ALL IS NECESSARY, PAPER AND "THE PASSION" are redundant, ENOUGH IS ONLY THE WILLING THAT MOMENT ALL MOVES! You essentially just decide whether to do something or not, and then everything else comes to you, all agree on one magical and miraculous way which might at that point you can not even consider while all perfectly into place by itself! This probably sounds like complete nonsense and contradicts everything we have learned to believe about life, but try for yourself you will come to this startling discovery!
The only thing you can do is take action and then just let go, safe in the knowledge that life will occur with the best possible solution! You are their job done, now let life do the rest. Do not interfere in his craft and annoy him, do not stifle its care. When top-notch carpenter order table, do not stand over him anxiously every day watching him he will make and not pestering him lay his advice and doubts about the job in who do not understand. No, you just have confidence in his expertise and leaving him alone to finish its work. As a result of that trust, you get a masterpiece! It's the same with life. Have confidence in life!
Once you accept life as it is, you are no longer in standby anything! In your understanding of life no longer exists following, after, there is no tomorrow ... just you here, fully present in the moment, which is in front of you right now and that's it. Cease to plan, hope and worry about the future because they realize that the future does not exist and that you have actually achieved that in fact, you do not miss and will always be actually all the way to the spontaneity of life is at that point wanted! The concern is meaningless, no one ever got nothing except ulcer care in their own stomach and unnecessary wrinkles on your face! Just let everything be as it is and let that worry you stay current carrying wherever you need to be! You'll soon find that you are always in the right place at the right time and that there are no accidents! You understand that there is a plan behind all this, which directs your actions and guides your steps. Of course, not all strictly defined, you have a certain margin, defined handling space within that to do this or that, to decide to some extent, but the main, general guidelines are already there, but the default. We ourselves do not know what the plan is, which is its direction, nor is it really important, but simply are aware that it exists. Looking at your past can clearly recognize the outlines of the plan. Therefore, whatever happens, in accordance with this plan, you just have to get into a state where you can find! Only this recognition will completely relax and allow you to be essentially carefree and fully present in your life!
Anthony De Mello, in his book "Consciousness" in favor of that cites a thought that is so deep and true that it is useful to have in mind. She says: "When shooters will shoot a bow without thinking of any particular award, uses all his skills; When shooting to win a brass buckle, but he was nervous; When shooting for the gold medal, blind, sees two targets, and was amazed. His skill has not changed, but the award is conferred by his attention. He cares about awards! More thinking about winning, but about the shooting and the need to win deprives him power. "
When you find that you have nothing to achieve in life, when you have no particular expectations, coming in a state in which your every outcome is acceptable! Maybe some outcomes do not necessarily fall into the category you would your ego defined as comfortable or radiant, but in fact you do not mind, do not complain and do not complain. The knowledge that is all what you have already everything that actually need! All you need is just to be. You will see that they need not necessarily be circumstances favorable to them and find the peace that is always present in everything svudgdje. Just try not to judge the situation you are in, as of a sort! You do so at her, do her attach this or that meaning. You'll understand soon that you are able to develop such a degree of flexibility and acceptance that you actually quite comfortable in any situation! You become like water! Water is everything adjusted, it takes the shape of each container in which it is located, and when not in place, simply flowing freely and pour over all. It is impossible to hurt her, it is impossible to keep in your hand, it is elusive and flow. Shot it can not be hit because it is not solid but slippery and mild. Be diplomatic.
At first you feel that something in you kidnaps and strongly resisted accepting, something will appear that will want to condemn, complain and lament, complain, curse and cry of anguish. When this happens, let him express himself, do not fight with it and push or avoid that impulse, just be aware, identify who is the one who has the need constantly grumble and then will be in front of you with a choice: whether to follow suit train of thought, will you accept the victim mentality and engage as a complainer and nuisance, or you let all that just to be free of your judgment! For each "tragedy" or "trouble" actually has no choice but to wait your consent, waiting for your approval before it could become a tragic! It is dependent on you! Without your consent, without your participation, there is nothing of the sacrificial dance! Always be aware of this!
One of the most effective ways to calm the constant murmur of your mind, a constant internal dialogue doubts, questioning ourselves, of life, of his actions, as well as eventual sense of responsibility and self-incrimination which is in you experiencing as a result of observing the chaos of the outside world, is that you may know to you at any given time do the best you can within its means and that this in itself is enough! You realize that you can not be responsible for the actions and the actions of others, or for events in the world that is based on a fallacy of mind and based on the identification with its madness! Not that your changing anything but themselves! In the end, you realize that you can never take responsibility for anything other than their own responsibilities to be love! It is the premier responsibility in which they already
itself contained all the other responsibilities. All the laws of this world dissolve into the only law! Release the need to judge! You realize that you is of no use and that you essentially nothing brings, does not enrich your life, you only draws and provoking. Always access it to other people with the level of your heart! Watch the best in every person and be their friend! Because, if there are any misunderstandings and difficulties in communicating with other people, you are aware that the root of the problem never other people personally, but that is a universal form of their
identification with the illusion of the ego, their belief that they are just mind their "žrtvizam" and pride, what creates all the problems, confusion and conflicts! The best thing you can do is get in touch with reality and know who you are, and then, possibly, if the opportunity arises, to remind others of their true nature! But not necessarily, not by force. If someone is able to understand and accept, great, if not, let him go on his way. Simply, be in its peace and be at peace with everyone around you. Observe that peace, to power the his sweetness and you will become that peace! Do what is at the core of your natural and healthy human nature: Live and let live! Let all just be!
I think acceptance is a good word to describe the ideas in this thread. We know there are a lot of unconscious mechanisms at play in any given situation, but I've also noticed that in moments when a choice is made there are usually glimpses or fleeting thoughts of the different paths we can take. Those thoughts might be a small voice that can be a warning to us, a reminder of past lessons, or simply our conscience. It can come and go so fast that we might not even remember it since it's usually up against the well traveled paths of habitual dissociation, and that is so much easier to fall into (i.e. the path of least resistance). But if we can observe our thoughts and take the time to really pay attention to, accept, and hold onto that small voice it can grow larger and become a more active force in the choices we make. Sometimes that small voice might be so buried that it can take a whole lot of observation to recognize it, but I think having the outlook described in this thread is a great way to position ourselves to be able to recognize it.
ignis.intimus
Jedi Council Member
obyvatel said:
There are similar people at my work, and I would classify them as not caring very much. They do their thing, put forth their effort, but at the end of the day, they don't "own" the outcome. They punch the clock, do their their time, and then it's quitting time. Perhaps it's the clear delineation that makes it easy for them; they don't get over-involved or fuss with the details. But they are rarely the people putting in the extra hours to move projects/issues forward.
obyvatel said:
Tension is the standard response to a form of stress. Based on our conditioing and personality we move our bodies in differnet ways. It falls into two different primary catgetories. Expansion (which is what you describe) or contraction. From what I have seen and read, the best body-language example of this is shoulders raised (expansion/fight) or shoulders lowered (contraction/flight).
What is interesting is that both forms are physical contraction of the muscles, expressed in different ways and different muscle groups, and interpreted differently socially.
People tend to fight against things because it is in their nature to do so. Either because they live in the past, or because the past influences their present so much; and maybe the difference there is a thin line. What matters is aligning that nature with an outcome that means something socially. Something that makes somebodies life easier, even if down the road beyond our vision. There is that saying "to fight the good fight" but people often overlook all the small things. All the small things of which all the big things are made.
I would say: fight the good fight. If not for today, then for tomorrow. There is much to say 'no' to in our current reality. Beyond the geopolitics and global pathology, there are so many wrong ways of doing things that impact peoples lives in every field. But you have to balance it somehow, without over-extending yourself. Change, or at least influence, what you can.
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