Am I DEAD?

[Risen]

Have you ever read this overview of Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration?

Hi T.C., Yes I have read that overview recently and it helped me to make some sense of everything. I think I am out of the "danger zone", so to speak. It is when I am very low on energy that I begin to get "spells" again but they do not last long now and I am actually able to cut them short by doing the work. At first I had no control at all and now they are becoming almost an opportunity to observe the process. Although I am still many times depressed. This has been going on for almost 5 years and at first I was absolutely loony!

I am sincerely thankful for everyone's concern and suggestions. I had began to get discouraged from being so isolated and lonely.

I am especially interested in the suggestions on diet, however I can not imagine how anyone can afford to eat all these things. I was able to find some wild substitutes growing in my yard and woods. Wild lettuce, dandelion greens, alfalfa, plantain greens, wild onions, pecans and black walnuts. I can sprout the wheat myself, which will be economical also. I have tomatoes, green peppers, and mustard greens stored from my garden and have always eaten lots of dried beans. I have also begun to do research on mineral content of foods.


I have started reading "A Confession". Thanks ,Leopher, for the link. I will let you know if it helps. So far I am very interested.

Good weekend to all!
Peace

 

[T.C.]

It is when I am very low on energy that I begin to get "spells" again but they do not last long now and I am actually able to cut them short by doing the work.

Hi Zombie.

Would you be able to explain a bit more about the "spells". It may be that they are negatives and you are doing right to try and control them; but without networking, it is easy to mislabel things, states, experiences, and to not see them for what they really are.

It may be that these "spells", if they are painful and troubling, may actually be moments of conscience caused by you seeing things more as they really are, and your predator might be fighting the "process" by convincing you these moments are "bad" and that you should avoid the suffering.

 

[anart]

Sorry, Ellipse, I cannot guess, perhaps meditate?

You are very close. It's something similar but more easy.

Ellipse, why are you making such obtuse remarks as if you hold some secret? At a time when someone has asked, sincerely, for help, you are playing word games and it is most disconcerting and not at all helpful.

 

[Ellipse]

When doing some effort to figure out the answer by ourself we gain more.

Direct answer is very tempting for one who know, or believe to know. After, come the manner, and yes, it's difficult, can appear as "playing word games" if not done with care.

 

[anart]

When doing some effort to figure out the answer by ourself we gain more.

What answer do you presume to have?

Direct answer is very tempting for one who know, or believe to know. After, come the manner, and yes, it's difficult, can appear as "playing word games" if not done with care.

Why, in the world, would you presume to have an 'answer' in any way? You over-estimate yourself and your self-importance is astounding.

This forum does not allow manipulation and what you are doing is manipulation in what appears to be an effort to inflate your own self-importance and come across as some sort of teacher who has a secret answer that will solve everything. It is completely inappropriate in this situation. If you cannot prevent yourself from behaving in this manner, then this forum may not be for you.

 

[Laura]

Sorry, Ellipse, I cannot guess, perhaps meditate?

You are very close. It's something similar but more easy.

When doing some effort to figure out the answer by ourself we gain more.

Direct answer is very tempting for one who know, or believe to know. After, come the manner, and yes, it's difficult, can appear as "playing word games" if not done with care.

Ellipse, I'm not sure that you are really in sync with the work of this forum. You seem to think that you are here in the role of a teacher or a substitute for the Cassiopaeans. Please disabuse yourself of that notion and those behaviors immediately.

 

[Ellipse]

So, I made a big mistake

Ellipse, I'm not sure that you are really in sync with the work of this forum.

I hope not

You seem to think that you are here in the role of a teacher or a substitute for the Cassiopaeans. Please disabuse yourself of that notion and those behaviors immediately.

Ok.


What I was thinking for Zombie was just praying.


Can we discuss about my error in appropriate thread ? I need some help here.

Zombie, I'm sorry to make your thread deviate. Not being helpful make me really sick.

 

[Adaryn]

Hi Ellipse,

What I was thinking for Zombie was just praying.

So why didn't you say it plainly instead of making her guess?

Can we discuss about my error in appropriate thread ? I need some help here.

Yes, you can create a new thread for that.

 

[Risen]

It is when I am very low on energy that I begin to get "spells" again but they do not last long now and I am actually able to cut them short by doing the work.

Hi Zombie.

Would you be able to explain a bit more about the "spells". It may be that they are negatives and you are doing right to try and control them; but without networking, it is easy to mislabel things, states, experiences, and to not see them for what they really are.

It may be that these "spells", if they are painful and troubling, may actually be moments of conscience caused by you seeing things more as they really are, and your predator might be fighting the "process" by convincing you these moments are "bad" and that you should avoid the suffering.

It starts when I am low of energy and especially if I am feeling cold, I do not tolerate cold well. I have many negative thoughts and imagination. At first, for a long time, I believed the imagination was true. After reading books by Gurdjeiff and Ouspensky and material on this site and required reading, I began to be able to self-remember and control negative thoughts and emotions much better but I did not anticipate how much resistance would come. I understand conscious suffering and do not try to avoid it. This part, while painful is welcome. I have learned much from this type of suffering.
Perhaps there is a very strong little "i" that does not want me to work and does not want me to progress and is VERY persistent. But to tell the truth it really seems like not me at all and more like an outside force. Many times while in this state, obnoxious people will come to my house and annoy me while usually people seldom come here. Also, while in this state, people who have not called me for some time (people I don't like or trust) will telephone me. This is happening less since I have become more aware of manipulative behaviors and do not respond like I used to. I hope this makes things more clear. And yes, I definitely need to network! So glad you're here.

What I was thinking for Zombie was just praying......

Zombie, I'm sorry to make your thread deviate. Not being helpful make me really sick.

I was somewhat anxious about the guessing as I was not feeling well, however,
I accept your apology and thank you for your suggestions.
Praying, yes, good idea.

Peace

 

[webglider]

Hi Z:

It sounds as though you are going through a really difficult time. I have a suggestion that may be of help.

Perhaps you could work with the moving center a little in a really gentle way. Walking may be good as it would get you out and bring you into the world. You may be really resistant in the beginning, but it may work if you persist.

Sometimes it helps to work through an obstacle indirectly. If nothing else, exercise releases endomorphins, and that may make you feel a little better and more grounded.

If you can afford it, perhaps massage would be good or some other type of body work might help you experience the physical aspect of yourself and help in the grounding process.

 

[Risen]

Sometimes it helps to work through an obstacle indirectly. If nothing else, exercise releases endomorphins, and that may make you feel a little better and more grounded.

I think this is also a good suggestion, I do feel precisely that, ungrounded. I used to be much more active.
Thank you for this suggestion.
Peace

 

[Pierre]

Sometimes it helps to work through an obstacle indirectly. If nothing else, exercise releases endomorphins, and that may make you feel a little better and more grounded.

I think this is also a good suggestion, I do feel precisely that, ungrounded. I used to be much more active.
Thank you for this suggestion.
Peace

Hi Zombie,

A lot of good suggestions were made in this thread. Applying them should bring very positive results.

The diet designed by Laura has a strong effect on moods, emotions and thoughts. I can only recommend that you try applying it.

If you didn't read it yet, you also could have a look at the depression as a stepping stone thread. There might some helpful data in there.

 

[Risen]

Thank you also for your suggestions, Belibaste . I can see I have a lot of reading to do. I will report back results as they come. Already I am starting to feel less hopeless and isolated. As I stated before, I live in a very rural area. There is not even one book by Fourth Way authors in my town library. The community of this forum is very important to me as one could imagine.

 

[Risen]

Update- I have just finished reading Gnosis-book 1 and it has shed a great deal of light on my situation, especially this quote.

As we have mentioned several times, esoteric evolution is conditioned
at the start by a bankruptcy, a moral breakdown. To make progress after this, man
must know exactly where he stands, meaning that he must see himself. St Isaac the Syrian
said that he who has been able to see himself as he is is better than he who has been able to
see the angels.51 What we call bankruptcy, the Tradition calls 'death'.

I think I am on my way to better understanding of the system and my personal position in it.
Thank you to all who responded to my need and a special thank you to Laura for everything.


*edited because I changed my mind about something.

 

[anart]

Update- I have just finished reading Gnosis-book 1 and it has shed a great deal of light on my situation, especially this quote.

Glad to hear that. :)

I think I am on my way to better understanding of the system and my personal position in it. I will not be using this identity in the future or posting in this thread. Thank you to all who responded to my need and a special thank you to Laura for everything.

Continue to move forward, there is much ahead - and congratulations on finding the information to put some pieces together - this is an accomplishment.