Amazing Grace By LKJ

[SeekinTruth]

Oh, and I can wait for the continuation if and when Laura decides to undertake it!

I think I should continue it because the reader who has traveled through all that pain and suffering (and I skipped a LOT of details) really deserves to get to the part where it's all made clear and one learns that knowledge really does protect and there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and Love IS everlasting... and it was all worth it.

Well, it's not over until it's over, but the happiness I have experienced in my life with Ark more than makes up for all that went before, and if it was to end tomorrow, it would still be more than I ever thought I deserved.

Well, the part of Ark coming into the picture was the most fascinating and heart warming of all in your life. And in my humble opinion, you both deserve each other and have earned the rare true love you've found. :)

 

[Miss.K]

I think I should continue it because the reader who has traveled through all that pain and suffering (and I skipped a LOT of details) really deserves to get to the part where it's all made clear and one learns that knowledge really does protect and there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and Love IS everlasting... and it was all worth it.

Thank you, for considering this.

When I finished the book, long time ago, my feeling was "Noooo!! Please don't stop!! I want to know what happens next"

Well, the part of Ark coming into the picture was the most fascinating and heart warming of all in your life. And in my humble opinion, you both deserve each other and have earned the rare true love you've found. :)

I second that, it gives me hope that you found each other

 

[Laura]

It's finished... now, time for concentration on getting ALL the sessions here in the transcript section of the forum. That may take awhile...

 

[cassandra]

Fantastic! I can't wait to finish the last two chapters.
Not only is it a great story ( that is, maybe not always for for Laura at the time), but it provides a context for sometimes quite (for me) abstract ideas. I'm someone who always likes an example for difficult-to-grasp concepts, so this has put a lot of things in perspective.
Thanks to Laura and everyone involved in this.

 

[SeekinTruth]

Just finished reading Grace. Looking forward to the continuation when you're able to get to it. Thanks a million, again, for the hard work, Laura. It's a great service to so many of us readers.

 

[Nienna]

I thought that maybe after reading about the exorcism Laura told about in Amazing Grace, some may want to listen to the podcasts done by Laura where she actually has a tape of that exorcism.

You can find the two podcasts here.

 

[Laura]

I thought that maybe after reading about the exorcism Laura told about in Amazing Grace, some may want to listen to the podcasts done by Laura where she actually has a tape of that exorcism.

You can find the two podcasts here.

Actually, the tape is a DIFFERENT exorcism.

 

[Nienna]

I thought that maybe after reading about the exorcism Laura told about in Amazing Grace, some may want to listen to the podcasts done by Laura where she actually has a tape of that exorcism.

You can find the two podcasts here.

Actually, the tape is a DIFFERENT exorcism.

Oh! It's still a good one, though. It's almost hair-raising.

Added: I want to clarify that I listened to these two podcasts quite a while ago so I confused this exorcism with the one in Amazing Grace. I am now listening to them again and it is really amazing to listen to.

 

[jen1221]

I think I should continue it because the reader who has traveled through all that pain and suffering (and I skipped a LOT of details) really deserves to get to the part where it's all made clear and one learns that knowledge really does protect and there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and Love IS everlasting... and it was all worth it.

Thank you, for considering this.

When I finished the book, long time ago, my feeling was "Noooo!! Please don't stop!! I want to know what happens next"

Well, the part of Ark coming into the picture was the most fascinating and heart warming of all in your life. And in my humble opinion, you both deserve each other and have earned the rare true love you've found. :)

I second that, it gives me hope that you found each other

My thoughts exactally. I really look forward to the day when you add more to the story. Even though I found The Wave two years ago, something about this book was so different for me, more important even.

It's hard to believe that one person can go through so much and not only survive, but to be transformed in to a better person is amazing! There isn't even that much drama in a horror movie!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this experience, and for all you do and continue to do!

I do have one question, when you finally learned the truth, how did you tell your children?

 

[Cosmos]

In the end of the last chapter is an error :

I did not realize that all my dreams and impressions of Nazi Germany were past-life drivers that compelled me to keep searching, to keep working to overcome obstacles that ultimately led to being reunited with my husband from that time, my lost love, my “other half” in most literal terms. I didn’t realize that the

I did not realize that, by virtue of remaining true to an Ideal in the face of all evidence to the contrary, by asking and continuing to ask, by knocking and continuing to knock at the door, it was being opened to me, and the Guardian at the Door had beckoned me to enter. Over the next two years I was initiated into realms of knowledge that few people ever encounter.

 

[grini]

Last night I finished reading this book and it's AMAZING! I have to thank istina for recommending me Amazing Grace, thank you!
Now I know what was Laura going through and now I appreciate her and her work even more. I was wondering why isn't this book on the list of recommended books by the QFS?

I find it quite interesting that Laura's childhood, her mother and description how her grandfather died are very similiar to my childhood, my mother (and my mother's mother) and how my grandfather died.
I'm going to write about these similiar experiences.

Childhood... parents, grandparents (now only grandma), brother and I.. we all live in the same house. Since I can remember, there were always my grandparents around, I was brought up by them. Parents were working, so when they got home they were too tired to bother with us. Why even bother? Grandma was here to take care of brother and me, preparing lunch, wash our diapers etc. I didn't even want to go to kindergarten. One kid was making fun of me so everytime I had to go I started crying. Grandma then said I will stay with her and grandpa at home and brother should continue to go to kindergarten. Of course, that kid left some traces on me, I was wearing diapers, mostly at night, until I was 6 years old.

Mother...well, she is not exactly like Laura's mother, my mother's mother is like that, even worse. Mother's parents were both alcoholics and there was fighting every day in their house. Her mother was always on some party and was often getting in the bed with strangers. The only person who take care of her and her brother was their grandma. She said her father was good, except he was alcoholic and he died in his fifties, he had throat cancer. They were very poor, lived in the house made of mud and if she wanted to talk to her grandma, they could only do it outside, behind a stable. Then my father came and saved her from that hell.

Last time her mother visited us was in winter and I think I was eight or nine years old, that was the first time I remember her visiting us. There was something very bad/evil about her. When she was leaving I ran out of the house and I was hiding in snow behind the house. I didn't want to say goodbye to her and give her a kiss because she was so... evil! I just didn't like her and I wanted her to go away as soon as possible. My grandma said to me many times that she once left marmalade in the bathroom, on washing machine, and other time she left on the floor big jar with only one tablespoon of lard in it. Grandma believes that there was some kind of spell on marmalade and lard that will make us all ill or crazy if we ate it, they threw it away. I believe her because she felt on her own skin the power of spell when she was young.

Chapter Nine

Mother almost never spoke to us except to direct us to do something or to criticize all we had done. No matter what I did to please her, she found a flaw. She could not say: “you did a good job”. Instead: “You did it wrong. Do it my way.”

I was obviously the one with a problem because I was the one who was out of control! And, of course, I would get even more out of control, and end up screaming at her that she was cold, unloving mother and I hated her and I was going to do as I damn well wanted to whether she liked it or not.

And then the strop.

She had kept the razor strop that Ed had used on us. She raised the strop high, bringing it down again as I tried to deflect it with my hands or curl up to minimize the amount of exposed flesh. To this day I cannot remember a single clear instance of why I was being whipped, other than the fact that I disagreed with Mother. If being whipped was supposed to “teach” me something, it was singularly unsuccessful.

Laura here describes my mother :)
She is never satisfied and she ALWAYS find a flaw, even today! I was making a salad and she critized me because I wasn't doing it her way.
Sometimes I also ended up screaming at her. A few times she was packing her stuff and told us that she is leaving us, that she can't take it anymore. I remember I was crying and yelling at her, how can she do such thing, leave her children and husband? She went to the bus station and got back home in half hour. How sick is that?

And being whipped... I was going to high school, had a boyfriend, I think I was 17 years old. Postman came and gave me some mail that was for grandparents. I was in summer kitchen and wanted to take that mail to them in the house. Then my mother came in and wanted me to give her that mail... I said no, it's not for her, it's for grandparents and I'm going to give THEIR mail to them. She insisted and I insisted. She got so mad that she took iron rod that was used for wood stove, got back to me and at first she pointed my head with it... I guess she then realized it's my head, it's not too smart to hit me with iron in the head so she hit my buttocks. What a reason to get your ass kicked with iron...

Chapter Eight

The house was rather primitive. We had only the fireplace for heat, and an old gas range in the kitchen that required bottled gas on a regular basis, but after all of the events of the past years, getting settled down in the old house was truly like coming home. It was familiar. Every object settled in its precisely correct place according to the designs of my grandfather. A barn full of interesting items waited to be explored: an old “woody” station wagon, a big diesel engine. The tool shed held sets of tools for every design and purpose. The storage shed contained an old Victrola, boxes of magazines from the 20′s and 30’s, trunks full of old clothes, and jar after jar of old coins among the treasures.

There were also boxes of books. In one, I found a book with a rather off-putting title, seemingly about politics, in which – up until the assassination of John F. Kennedy - I had no interest.

What a flashback! I was doing the same thing in grandpa's workshop, exploring and touching everything.

Chapter Five

I remember waking up one night and seeing a bright light outside shining in through the window. The residence I lived in was built high on a cutaway flat place on the side of a mountain. There was less than 15 feet between the back of the building and the vertical slope that went up about 30 to 50 feet. The driveway provided just enough room for the housemother to park her car and have room for passengers to get out on either side. The only way a light could shine in the window would be if the back lights of the building were on, or if someone were standing on the drive with a strong light. I figured that it was the former, disregarding the fact that the building lights were off to the side and didn’t shine in my window when they were on. With that explanation, I dismissed any other and went back to sleep. Whatever it was, it didn’t seem to concern me.

The same thing happend to me in summer 2010. Those days I was reading Cs transcripts like crazy. One night I woke up and after a few moments I saw bright light outside shining in through the window. I live in a village and after midnight they turn off street lights, and my room is on the other side of the house so there is no source of light except the moonlight, but this light was too strong. I had no courage to get up and look at it, I was just waiting. It was shining one, maximum two minutes and it disappeared. It was interesting light because it was shining with different intensity. It was strong, but it was like it was, hm... radiating? I can't find appropriate word.

Chapter Fourteen

Grandpa had been rapidly deteriorating since he began taking the pills prescribed by the doctor. He would sit in a chair in his bedroom for long hours, leaning forward with his hands dangling in front of him, occasionally drooling and his eyes completely blank. I was extremely distressed by this and repeatedly suggested that his medication was responsible, but no one would listen to me. And, eventually I became convinced they were right. It was just the fate of old people to become like zombies.

When I got back, as soon as I came into the house, I could hear Grandpa calling me weakly. He had fallen inside the door to his bedroom, against the door, and there was no way I could open it to get inside. I went outside and found an unlocked window and climbed up on the fuel oil tanks and came in that way. After a month of bleeding, I found that I wasn’t strong enough to pick him up.

And suddenly, as we were standing in the elevator, I knew I would never see my grandfather again.

How could I know that I would never see my grandfather again? That was nonsense! I needed to get a grip on myself!

In the morning the phone rang. A hospital official asked to speak to my grandmother. I explained that she was in the country and could I take a message? After verifying that I was a member of the family, the person said that they were sorry to have to tell me that my grandfather had passed away during the night. I only asked: “What time?” Around 1:00 a.m. was as close as they could come. It was May 19, 1974.

Yes, I had a huge burden of guilt that Grandpa had fallen while I was out. I also felt guilt because I was certain that if I had taken him out of the hospital, if I had stood up to the system, he would still be alive. But that is also fairly normal.

Grant was very good to me through the funeral arrangements and even agreed to be a pallbearer, so a very difficult time was gotten through with the least amount of difficulty.

It was same with my grandpa...
If I'm right, Laura was 22 years old when her grandfather passed away. I was also 22 years old when my grandpa passed away. Funeral was one day before my 23rd birthday and I was thinking what a "beautiful" present Universe gave me...
I wrote about my grandpa in Deja Vu thread, so I'm going to copy some part of it.

From Deja Vu thread

It was all good first week, but night 15th August to 16th August... I couldn't sleep! I felt some kind of disturbance all night, I was rolling on my bed till 5 AM (something like that have never happened to me before), went to the bathroom and got back in my room. Finally I fell asleep. I had a dream about my grandfather, he was walking around the house like he was 30 years younger. We were all asking him does he need help, because in real life he was far from walking like he was 30 years younger. He was wearing diapers 9 years and last two years he always needed help to get up from a chair or a toilet, and we had to rotate him on a bed, but he could walk by himself. When I woke up, I felt that something is wrong, something is going on. I sent SMS to my dad to find out if everything is OK at home. He then called me, he never calls me when I write him a message.
He said to me that they are in the hospital, grandfather had last night (15th August) some mixture of stroke and epilepsy attack, two times, and he is not conscious. He also told me that they didn't want to tell me so it wouldn't affect my studying for the last exam.
Of course, they were right, it affected me a lot. I felt horrible because I didn't say goodbye to him while I was leaving, and I knew I will not see him again. Whole week he wasn't consious, and that whole week I felt my head will explode. I almost never have headache before. I felt that pressure in the middle of my head and it was very strong when I went to bed. Early in the morning of 23rd August I dreamed him again. This time I was able to see only his head, it was in a horizontal position, looked like he was lying in bed. He looked very pale, freshly shaved and his hair was neatly combed. I reached out to touch his face and he smiled to me, then I woke up. I felt huge relief, I managed to say goodbye to him, and I think good forces were involved.
While I was lying on my bed I wanted to send SMS to mom or dad to tell them that his time has come, that he is going to leave us now. Ten- fifteen minutes later mom called to tell me that grandfather died.

On the funeral I was thinking all the time about Gurdjieff and his story about his grandma from Beelzebub's tales to his grandson, what she told him before she passed away. That story helped me a lot to get through all that, and somehow I was also happy for grandpa, he was not in terrible pain anymore.

Okay, I think it's enough... I was writing this at least 3 hours.