I'm aware of my grammatical errors, but I do not find these any measure of spiritual growth or polarity. I used to be among the top in spelling class back in the days (I am Dutch, not English, which a couple of posters correctly remarked), but if the spelling is good enough so others can understand the meaning of your words, what else purpose does spelling have, outside elitism? If anything, I wish the world would have moved towards one language by now as to reduce misunderstanding, caused by such language barriers. It is amusing how the old world is in panic of the new "rude", "impolite" slang of "disgraceful" SMS and internet communication, which I actually find to be a good thing, as soon the new generation will all speak the same language, leaving less room for misunderstanding and elitism (the people who speak the world's primary language natively have always had an advantage).
In fact, as you should have realised by now, the means of 4D communication and up is telepathy. How is this possible if not by the removal of language? How do you think higher-density aliens can communicate with us in English? They can't, they don't know nor use English, they establish a vibrational link to your brain ("channel"/"tunnel"). Hence it appears to you that they know English but they don't. You are just talking to yourself. One part of you is under control of the channeled entity, the other part of you remains under control of you. The moment you are channeling you are that entity, but the moment you stop you are them no longer.
It is recognized everywhere that 3D density is the only density where the veil of forgetfullness/separation applies. How is this possible? Language. Remove language and you become telepathic. No other (non-3D) beings in the entire universe create dull, boring words with their mouths (instead, I imagine they create music). Sure, dogs bark, but that's incredibly limited:
19.15 Questioner: I would assume that an entity can continue— can start, say, in second density with service totally to self and continue right on through and just stay on what we would call the path of service to self and never ever be pulled over. Is this correct?
Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. The second-density concept of serving self includes the serving of those associated with tribe or pack. This is not seen in second density as separation of self and other-self. All is seen as self since in some forms of second-density entities, if the tribe or pack becomes weakened, so does the entity within the tribe or pack.
The new or initial third-density entity has this innocent, shall we say, bias or distortion towards viewing those in the family, the society, as you would call, perhaps, country, as self. Thus though a distortion not helpful for progress in third density, it is without polarity.
Do you see? There is no true STS nor STO before 3/4th density. In 1st, 2nd and the beginning of 3rd density, these polarities are mixed (one Big road). After mid 3rd, the Big road starts splitting up (beginning of the "choice"). A person who does not wish to choose between the high road and the low road, remains stuck in mid 3rd. This is the case with buddhists for example. Buddhists want balance, they want to sit on the fence, they want to remain harmless, not only to STO, but also STS. This is why the negative authorities leave them alone (no threat to their plans), but also why they will never achieve their desired Nirvana (=7th density state). Buddhists think they can go directly from 3rd to 7th density (roads coming back together at mid 6th density so a new Big road, a new 1st density can begin), which is pure 3rd density delusion caused by the veil of forgetfullness. If they do not get rid of that mindset soon they will have to wait for the ending of the next Grand Cycle.
That aside, yes, perhaps you are right, perhaps my spiritual growth is indeed very low. But what does that have to do with polarity? I see no evidence of there being any link with spiritual maturity and spiritual polarity, do you? Perhaps this is just another trap, another trap of separation? Did this thought never occur to any of you? Or perhaps it was too uncomfortable for you to consider, because it downplays the "work" you've been doing, and thus not necessarily putting you miles ahead of those pesky organic portals?
By that logic one may aswell throw any freshly incarnated soul out of the window, as given their young incarnated age, they will not be mature, civilized, polite, enlightened, grammatically punctual enough to make it to the 4th density shore. Where is the logic, where is the reason?
And yes, I am emotional, for as far as I'm aware, emotion must come before reason. It is the hidden phoenix within you. This is the nature of the positive path (imho, if that makes you more comfortable). Physical balance (reptilian brain) -> emotional balance (limbic system) -> mental balance (neocortex) -> spiritual balance (pineal gland). I am learning not to think before I am emotionally balanced/fulfilled. If I have an emotional problem/imbalance, I try to refrain from thought, until I have it sorted out. Likewise, I will no longer go into spiritual matters until I have my mind sorted out. Anger is also not as bad as you have been led to believe, it could lead to courage, courage for speaking out for example. Courage is a high vibration, if it is based on love for others.
The negative path I am finding out everyday more and more, is clearly one of control. Not only of others, but also of yourself. There is no balance within you, so you must control your lower bodies. "If you want to be spiritual, you must control your mind, you must control your emotions, you must control your instincts." I can imagine the rapists and drunkards of old, are now the politician, the priest, the CEO, ... Overtime, you automatically start imposing this control unto others. If one does loose control once in a while, it is of a highly primitive and distorted kind. I'd imagine TPTB do this purposely once in a while in organized rituals.
What I'm saying is that no STS thinks of himself as STS. It is not any less or more about spirituality then STO, so I find it weird that you think of spiritual growth as exclusively STO. They are just heading into opposite directions. So, it does not bother me whatsoever if you think of me of spiritually immature, ignorant, retarded, (nor does it bother me what diagnosis self-appointed guru Laura labels me with)..., for if that is how you greet a newcomer, then I care little for your labels. "You do it my way, or take the highway!" Here it is: "You read the entire Wave series, or refrain from posting!" The highway is fun you know. The only reason of my posts is because there are always some in the canyon who secretly wish to get out, but don't know where to start. I have no problem throwing some ropes.
Didn't Alan Watts tell you not to be scared of the outsider?