December 16, 2008
Bailout Madoff!
by Brady Willett
With the financial markets already in a state of panic and the global recession expected to worsen in 2009, we can ill afford to allow the financial institutions, charities, and rich idiots that entrusted Bernard Madoff with their money to go bust. As for the widespread contention that since Mr. Madoff committed fraud he deserves to go to jail, do not think of Madoff as operating a ponzi scheme so much as a Strong Armed Perception Fund (SAP Fund), and don't think of him as breaking the law so much breaking new ground in the arena of fictitious returns.
In short, there needs to be a new bailout effort entitled the Criminal Reprieve Assistance Program (CRAP) to provide ingenious criminals like Madoff the tools required to help kick start the faltering U.S. economy. By investing $100 billion with Madoff so that he can start-up a new and improved SAP Fund and make current clients whole, the CRAP would immediately help restore confidence in the marketplace. Concurrent with the Madoff bailout pieces of CRAP could also be used to expedite the release of jailed mortgage brokers so that they can help stabilize the collapsing U.S. housing market by doing what they do best - underwriting crappy mortgages.
What we have failed to learn time and time again is that the Madoffs' of this world take risks that ordinary investors do not, and only when these criminals amass enough capital and clout does the average investor stand to benefit. If adopted the CRAP can effectively flush out the safety-crazed attitudes of investors now taking root and allow unlawful innovation and the temporary perception of wealth to flourish once again. It goes without saying that the only alternative if the CRAP sinks and Madoff doesn't get bailed out is financial Armageddon, millions of jobs losses, and another Great Depression.
