Book recommendation for people asking questions
- Thread starter dani
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I've actually come to think of it in different ways, I remember what they said about De Souza and his frequency somehow preventing the abduction process, I think that awareness does have an effect in so many levels of ones existence where knowledge protects, that aided with different changes to one's life.. aided by knowledge itself, can offer one protection.
We're still lowly 3D beings so there's just so much one can do, but one's soul at other levels might be spared some of the shenanigans that this incarnation could produce... maybe.
portobello
The Force is Strong With This One
Healthy state of mind, body and your surrounding environment is also important I think. I've been meaning to share one of my experiences for some time now, so I think I'll use this abduction discussion as an opportunity to share it now in case someone finds it informative. Some of it is rather graphic, but I have to get it off my chest. You may spread it around if you find it helpful. Maybe I need to make a separate thread about it.
Some years ago, during the summer, I woke up with a hangover, a stuffy nose and a parched throat. I didn't feel sick or that I caught a cold, but the inside of my nose was all swollen up and it was incredibly hard to breathe through the mouth too. I actually felt like I was suffocating and began to panic, so I rushed to the bathroom to get a nasal decongestant. I practically sprayed half the bottle up my nostrils before I passed out due to stress. I eventually woke up on the floor feeling incredibly groggy, but at least I could breathe. It wasn't long until my nose began to swell up again so I got hold of another decongestant and got to work. It seemed to work, but the swelling kept coming back after an hour or so and I was in constant distress. My house was a total mess and hadn't been cleaned for months, so I thought it's a (dust) allergy of some kind and that it will pass, but it lasted more than a week.
I was going through a rough patch that period. I was very isolated, malnourished, depressed and passive to do anything else about it, so I let the event take its course.
Needless to say, I hardly slept during those days. I was actually afraid of falling asleep, until I essentially couldn't. I started experiencing severe insomnia and night terrors after day 3. Eventually paranoia and hallucinations started to kick in which made things considerably worse. I was hyper-vigilant but completely exhausted at the same time. I was essentially in a hypnagogic state 24/7, often hearing and seeing things that you don't under normal circumstances. That included: voices of my deceased parents, smell of rotten eggs, weird looking spiders on curtains, giant (like 15cm-long) cockroaches on the ceiling, bunnies in a wretched state at the size of a dog, fuzzy/pulsating 3-dimensional black orbs floating around the room...among other things.
Given everything I've learned so far pertaining to "fringe" or alternative explanations regarding those things that tend to dismiss them as superficial "hallucinations", I'd wager that my awareness was in a flux of uncontrollable expansion and contraction.
At any rate, I felt like everyone was out to get me and that I was defenseless, but my in stubborn nature, I felt that I needed to push through and endure. I was engulfed by fear on the one hand, and on the other, the adrenaline rush was almost irresistible.
Whenever I brought myself to calm and felt I was about to doze off, I was always jerked back to wakefulness (myoclonus). On the rare occasion where I managed to reach deeper states and actually begin to fall asleep, I was always greeted with a ‘night terror’ that always involved an antagonist who appeared to resemble my (deceased) father, and it was never pleasant. Without going into too much detail, my interactions with it ranged from verbal abuse and what a disappointment I am, to rape and torture.
That persisted for several days and I started growing numb to it, until finally, one day, I believe I exited my body. I say believe, because It’s hard to tell the difference between OBEs, lucid dreams and wakefulness when your mind is all over the place. My reference point is past experience and practice in astral projection that involves vibrations and pressure on the chest before your detach from the corporeal.
When I did exit my body and started walking around the room in my astral counterpart, I noticed in the corner of the room a small creature, dressed in a hooded brown robe with a white rope around its waist, sitting on the floor like a gargoyle between my desk and the filing cabinet. As I approached it, it lifted up its head and I saw its face. As you might’ve guessed, it resembled the disappointed physiognomy of my father, only much older, riddled with wrinkles and scars.
It radiated with such deep and all-consuming hatred toward me unlike anything I’ve felt before. I can only describe it as infernal rage, not much different than that of a colloquial demon or a semi-sentient zombie. Its eyes were pitch black, but turned glowing lime green, at which point it stood up and grew in size and proceeded to telekinetically bash my frame against the ceiling and the floor for several seconds. I felt terrified and powerless to do anything so I surrendered to the experience, and quite literally began to laugh it off to the point where I could call myself “happy”. That pissed it off even more to the point of disgust / repulsion. It anticlimactically scurried away and I was zapped back into my physical body and woke up feeling…rejuvenated out of all things, as if I was asking for more.
Anyway, after 10 or so days of this persisting “routine”, and in spite of my adventurous spirits, I finally decided to put my ego aside and ask for help from my ex, because I (naturally) felt like I was losing it. I couldn’t tell her everything about it, so I just said I’m having trouble sleeping.
I was given sleeping pills (zolpidem) which only helped for one night. I also got hold of marijuana and CBD oils which helped me relax, but not break through the barrier of myoclonic jerks.
I was advised to visit a psychiatrist, but I held it off for as long as I could (several days). Eventually I caved in and was prescribed a cocktail of Xanax (0.5 mg), Risperidone (1mg) and Fluvoxamine (100mg). None of that really helped either, only made me groggier. Finally, I was prescribed quetiapine (25mg) which helped for a few days. In my paranoia-fueled research I stumbled on the existence of a rare disease known as Fatal Familial Insomnia (FFI) which seems to be incurable, where quetiapine is often used as treatment…and that took my mind for a spin and only made things worse. Eventually the shrink upped my quetiapine dosage to 100mg a day and it knocked me unconscious every time. I finally felt at peace after a month of back and forth lunacy. I continued the treatment for with risperidone, fluvoxamine, quetiapine, lowering the dose each month and felt like I was back on my feet after ~4 months.
I had a relapse with alcohol shortly after, primarily to cope with loneliness, and I was drunk every other day. One day, I got plastered with 2 bottles of red wine and went to bed at around 3 o’clock at night (the significance of the time is explained further down). As I was entering the hypnagogic state and was about to fall asleep, I felt a tingling / electrifying sensation around my neck. I began to convulse and shake as if I was having a seizure, semi-paralyzed in a fetal position. In my mind’s eye I saw a shadowy humanoid figure with glowing orange-red eyes holding me down by my neck, but this time I resisted and fought back. It paid dividends and I woke up, but was unable to stay awake with all that booze in my system.
I had a relatively ok 4~hr sleep after that, but as I began to wake up and open my eyes, I saw a fuzzy orb that morphed into a black spider projected in front of my vision. It faded away quickly as I gained more consciousness and finally woke up. I went to the bathroom to freshen up and take a shower and went back to bed for another 2 hours. As I began to wake up from the 2hr sleep I felt a very sharp pain in one of my testes and what I saw in my drowsy state with my eyes half open, was again what appeared to look like my father, pinching my private parts with a shit-eating grin on his face. I went for a check-up to the urologist the same day and everything seemed to be in order.
I’m not sure what the Cs say about something like that, but looking back at the experience, to me it seems like an attempt of possession by reducing one’s will to nothing. Whether it was the usual suspects (greys, lizards), astral parasites of all kind, bad hygiene and mental state, it’s something that I’m still looking into. The cliché answer is probably ‘a mix of everything’ as usual.
As far as my relationship with my father, it was not the healthiest, but not the worst either. He suffered a lot in his life and had a lot of shit to deal with. And given the apparent ability of NHIs to appear to you as whatever they please in any state of consciousness, I suspect that it was just used against me to break me down, hence why I’m referring to him as a ‘resemblance’ throughout this post.
Through the work of Dr Jerry Marzinsky, I later discovered that it's a common experience among inmates and schizophrenics who abuse(d) drugs, particularly alcohol and meth, with the latter being referred to as the "devil drug" by convicts and patients alike. They all report attacks often occurring late at night (3am in particular) especially during full moons, by entities looking like “demons” with either red or lime green eyes, who attach themselves to the nervous system through the neck area. They also seem to despise bible verses (like psalm 23).
If we are containers to them, like UFO lore seems to often suggest, these things seem to want you exhausted, traumatized, hopeless and your mind out of whack, all of which result in an empty vessel easy to control and interact with/in our density. Now imagine that coupled with the advent of transhumanism and the merging of misceginated humans with remotely controlled technology. We’re in for quite a ride of divide and rule in a multipolar world.
The way I currently see it is, we’re in for the reemergence of ancient Egypt, Babylon, Sumer, India aka pyramid systems, with Orionians at the helm (think of the star-alignment of pyramids around the world), genderless cyborgs as the enforcers, “gypsies” (cognate of Egyptian) as the masses and “real Israelites” as a minority of outcasts. Sorry for the off-topic and possibly controversial closing remark, but I think it may offer some perspective for all the above.
Thank you for reading.
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portobello
The Force is Strong With This One
Yes, I'm as healthy as I can personally be walking the path of...curiosity. It was all sorts of bad, but I wasn't self-destructive enough to combine alcohol with prescribed drugs. My lowest point was feeling pain and numbness in my toes and fingers (symptoms of diabetes and bad circulation I guess), so I cut it all cold turkey (for several months) and got a gym membership the day after. I've been in shape ever since and my bloodwork is fine. I do indulge in a few beers once a month on average, mostly on a social level.
Sober or not, I still occasionally experience night terrors (with the same exact theme I described above), but I seem to become aware of the situation as it happens and manage to control it. Sometimes, the night terrors themselves feel "random", but most of the time It's the result of being consumed by thoughts and my mind going into overdrive. I do resort to 10-20mg of quetiapine whenever it gets too overwhelming and breathing exercises aren't enough, but thankfully it's rare.
Regardless, one thing I have to say about these entities is that no matter how weak you may feel, they do get upset and scared when you feel:
a) you know what you're dealing with
b) have nothing to lose
c) make fun of them
d) practice self-defense
Last time I got into a fight with one of these things in a "lucid dream" (hard to say what it really was), I could barely muster up the strength to pull a punch, but somehow I got rid of its presence. They're by all (personal) accounts cowardly when you let go of fear and attachments, especially when you laugh at them. It's not a sense of misguided superiority, there's practically zero of that in every encounter. Rather, knowing what you're up against, and even though the odds are stacked against you, deciding to do the right thing. It seems that once you take that courageous step, you're almost immediately enshrouded with the intuitive feeling of wholeness and that you are being protected. Apparently it stings them like sun rays piercing one's eyes early in the morning.
*I forgot to mention that I did experience Exploding Head Syndrome (EHS) in combination with the aforementioned myoclonic jolts almost every day (sometimes more than twice) when it was really bad. Not sure what to make of that.
Anyway, sorry @dani for derailing the thread. I recommend Jerry's book (co-authored with Sherry Swiney) and his interviews. He's not that well-versed in UFO lore, so when it comes to the big picture and the greater battle, his vernacular and view of the phenomenon is mainly theological (Swedenborgian to be exact), but it all tracks with Laura's work.
I'm no stranger to the above and indeed deep belly breathing exercises are not enough, but the physiological sigh is IMO. It works like a brake. Most of the times I only have to do it twice, but you can even do it three times, before it takes effect.
I also take supplements and focus on learning new skills which keeps me in the here and now. I think that's important before we embark on more esoteric stuff or explore high strangeness, but that's me.
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Ketone Cop
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At the ripe old age of 81.5, I’ve been telling friends and family, near and far, for a few years now — (officiously, pretentiously, tongue in cheek — but not really!) that, “As a PhD ‘philosopher’ (ahem), my most important philosophical remark, the one I want put on my tombstone is this”: What […]
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I was once into angels and stuff, I was even a member of Doreen Virtue's angel "cult". I would still be if I hadn't had some deep emotional trauma that I knew I could not heal using simple "love and light". Looking back, I realize now that "cult" existed in order to act as a support group to help each other maintain their deep emotional wounds with shared "love" instead of actually doing any real "work" to solve their issues.
One can't do any true healing without being able to look directly in the mirror and acknowledge their personal dark side. If one runs from it, all that does is force them to externalize that darkness onto the outside world, and it will keep pestering them no longer how much "love and light" they send to it to make it go away. And the more one keeps ignoring and avoiding that darkness, the greater the eventual bill will be once that debt demands payment.
(BTW Doreen Virtue eventually realized the error of her ways. She turned away from her "teachings" and went full-on Christian, leaving all her followers in the lurch...but not until she had already earned millions through her deception (though she probably did believe she was doing good all that time).)
As for recommended books to read, I would simply suggest the ones already mentioned in this thread; but if she's headstrong she may rebel against them because she'd just see that material as "more from the C's" and it sounds like she now wants to read only "angel-like" works. If that's her path, then so be it. I have to admit that had I not joined that "cult" I probably never would have realized how dangerous it actually was, and maybe that's her "lesson plan", unfortunately.
I do remember that there were one or two books that outlined the "love and light" path as dangerous, and they were written by people who were prominent in the "New Age" movement. I simply can't remember the names of the authors or the books right now, but if I do I'll return here and share the information.